Chapter Five - Sound Advice

And so life went on. The grisly nightmares of blood-splattered walls and lightless, accusatory eyes slowly began to taper off. My home life had drastically improved with the new house and steady income and with a set schedule of work hours (plus most weekends off) I finally, finally had some stability.

And then there was my job.

For all the dread, suspense and anticipation, it was nothing like the torment I'd expected it to be. After that awful first day, the hostility between the girl and my boss appeared to have settled. Whether it was fear for the threats Black had made, or some other motive, Bella seemed to have surrendered - at least for now - her desire to escape, and so the task of following the captive of an outrageously dangerous crime lord had become rather unexpectedly boring.

She hadn't said a single word to me since that outburst on my first day, and had not purposefully sought out conflicts with the boss every time they were in the same room, and so, every day was near exactly the same. I'd get up early, head to the manor, wait outside the door for Bella and then just... watch.

Yet, despite the monotony, the weeks being generally uneventful, I couldn't allow myself to fully relax. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I knew this 'peace' wouldn't last. I had seen the fire in her eyes, the way she struggled and snarled and scratched and bit. The way she begged and screamed and flung hateful words like poisonous knives. The way she, even after weeks of being locked away, in complete isolation (or so I'd been told) still fought her battle in the subtlest of ways; even when Black continuously beat her down, she refused to stay down.

Whether she was biding her time, making more plans or just waiting for the right time to pounce, I knew she would try again. And when she did, it would be up to me to stop her.

So I watched her. I followed her around, and when the boss inevitably came to collect her for the evening, I returned home. Same routine, day in, day out, and while it was true there were certainly worse ways to earn the kind of money I was making, I was so glad it was Friday, and I could finally blow off some steam.

"Three, two, one!"

I downed the fifth shot of vodka and felt the kick go straight to my head. Emmett, on the other hand, didn't look fazed at all and was already refilling our glasses while I swayed and pursed my face like a college freshman who'd just tasted their first beer.

Of course, alcohol wouldn't affect him at all, I would probably need an elephant tranquillizer to take him down.

For the first time since joining the 'organisation', I'd taken Emmett's offer for a boy's night out. I'd always been too busy, too caught up in my family drama and self-pity, but now with newfound freedom, I embraced the chance to truly live again. It was nice to be doing something outside of work and home for once, even seeing my old 'team' brought me a strange kind of joy. Guys I had worked with under Emmett since I'd joined but hadn't spoken a word to since the night I'd ran to drown my sorrows and found my salvation instead. Some seemed genuinely happy for me and my promotion, others more envious and a tad snide, but whatever their reactions, none put a damper on my good mood, and as the music blasted, sweaty bodies collided and strobing lights flashed in an epileptics nightmare, I couldn't have been more out of my element, and I was loving it.

"Hello handsome," A feminine voice purred as two gorgeous women slid up behind us, a blond in brash neon green slowly running her immaculately manicured hands up Emmett's broad shoulders. He shrugged them off.

"Sorry ladies, but I'm taken," He declared, proudly displaying the large golden band encasing his ring finger.

"Lucky girl," the other moaned, before slinking away with her partner back towards the dance floor.

"Why have I never met your wife?" I asked curiously, eyeing the ring as though noticing it for the very first time.

"Because I'm smart." He replied dryly, knocking back another shot. I laughed.

"No, I mean it! I'd like to meet her. I've known you for months and I've only ever heard you mention her in passing! Why is that?"

"I can't bring my wife to work, Edward, any more than I can bring work home to my wife. When we're at work, it's strictly about work. You can't talk about your home life unless you want everyone knowing your business. Rosy would have my balls if I did that."

Well, I certainly knew the benefits of keeping the two worlds separate. I'd die if my mother ever discovered what it was I really did for a living.

Another couple of hours and I was done for the night. Emmett called me a taxi and sent me on my way, but not before I made him promise to set up a dinner date between me and his wife in the near future. I was rather enthralled with the idea of meeting the woman who'd tamed the beast.

Stumbling from the car, I gave the driver a fifty dollar bill for which he was grateful enough to help me stagger up the driveway towards my fancy new house. I hadn't been drunk in years, and I'd never had much practice to begin with. It was quite the novel experience.

Seth was sitting at the dining table when I practically fell inside, books scattered around him as he scribbled furiously in his notepad, bronze-brown hair, identical to my own, rubbing limply against the pages. He looked up as soon as I tumbled through the doorway, bright green eyes alight with amusement as he snickered at my misfortune.

"Are you drunk?"

"Little bit," I confessed, pinching my fingers to show just how little drunk I was. He chuckled playfully as he watched me sway towards the kitchen and wonderful coffee machine. Since when did we have two?

"Don't you have work tomorrow?" He asked when I returned.

"Nah, got the whole weekend off. Might as well enjoy it."

"The whole weekend?!" He sounded excited.

"Yeah," I dropped into the chair opposite him and cradled the hot cup between my frozen palms, "The whooooole weekend."

"Do you think we could do something?" He was practically bouncing at the idea. I smiled crookedly.

"Sure. Like what?"

"I don't know, anything! I haven't gotten a chance to ride in your new car yet, maybe we could go for a drive?"

I glared flatly, "You're not driving."

He groaned.

"I'm almost old enough to take my test!"

"Almost. And not in my car." He pouted, but I didn't care. You just had to put your foot down, sometimes, you know?

"Fine. I guess you can drive us somewhere." He conceded with a grin. I nodded. Damn straight I'd be driving us somewhere.

Yawning loudly, I rested my head against the cool surface of the long oak table, really starting to feel those shots kicking in. Moaning into the smooth wood, I peeked at the papers scattered around him and mumbled, "You doing homework?"

"Yeah, wanted to get it all done early, and now I have a reason, cause I have plans with my amazing big brother."

"Don't lay it on too thick, kid. You're still not driving."

AAA

The weekend was wonderful. Seth and I hit several popular tourist attractions and acted like dumb backpackers for laughs. We went to a carnival, rode every ride and won a giant cat plushie for mum. We drove to as many burger joints as we could find and challenged each other on who could eat the most. It was hilarious watching the look of disappointment on every man's face when we reached the fifth restaurant and Seth gave in after just two bites. I'd never let him live that down. It was the most fun I'd had in years.

It was so nice spending time with him without having to worry about my string-tight budget, or constantly keeping an eye on the meter so I could ensure I got us home before the engine inevitably gave out. It was truly a fantastic few days off, but now I was back to work.

She was in the library again, reading Wuthering Heights from the same burgundy leather armchair she tended to favour. She was completely drawn into the novel, as usual, only my focus had me noticing something different from all the other days. She kept... fidgeting, as though she couldn't quite get comfortable. She rubbed her arms and shifted her bare legs every few minutes. It was honestly distracting watching her do this, and after a few short moments, I realised why.

It was an abnormally chilly day for April, and she was wearing yet another of her summery dresses, one that exposed her arms and legs and usually her shoulders in short sleeves or stringy straps. Why she chose to dress that way in such cold weather was beyond me, and the massive three-story windows obviously weren't doing much to keep the warmth in.

Finally, after much deliberation on whether I should say anything at all, I conceded to instinct, "Would you like a blanket?"

Her head shot up, clearly surprised I'd spoken. But her surprise quickly turned to suspicion as she glared at me. "What?"

"You seem cold. Would you like me to fetch you a blanket?"

Her brown eyes narrowed, mouth pursed in a sceptical line. I could see her teeth clenching behind her pale pink lips, as though she were fighting back literally dozens of curses she wished to accost me with. Finally, she sneered, "No thanks, don't try to act like you care."

I sighed, disappointed, "I'm just trying to do my job, Bella."

"Well, why don't you go back to doing the best part of your job; being quiet." She snapped.

Honestly, her hostility was completely justified, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't getting sick of this. Was it really too much to expect some polite conversation? Did she like sitting in silence with no one to talk to for hours every day? She may have hated me, but I'd gossip like a schoolgirl with my worst enemy after so many days of solitude. Wasn't she lonely? Or did she enjoy being alone?

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry about what happened between us, but I really was just offering to help. And... well... you're stuck with me now. I'm just trying to make this as easy as possible for the both of us. Can't you meet me halfway? You don't have to like me, but some civility would go a long way here."

She scowled.

"I don't need to be civil with you. You need to be civil with me. I wouldn't get in trouble for calling you every name under the sun, but you? One wrong word from me and you'd be out of a job."

I was honestly taken aback by the smugness of her words but didn't want her knowing how fearful they truly made me. Trying to appear indifferent, I stared her down, "Oh really? You think you could get rid of me that easily?"

She smirked derisively.

"Oh, I don't know, Edward, you seem to really need this job. I would hate to have to tell Jacob just how bad you really are."

Her threat sent shivers down my spine, but again, I fought hard not to show it. Could she really do that? Would she? Of course, she would, you idiot! She despises you, after all. But would Black really fire me on her word alone? Didn't he hire me knowing she would hate me? Would her word really matter that much? Deciding to try and call her bluff, I hid my fear and gave her a mocking little bow.

"Well then, by all means, please tell me how to do a better job at serving you, your majesty."

I felt a pang of victory as her smirk melted away.

"You really think this is a game, don't you?" She muttered venomously, glowering down at her book. I slumped, instantly feeling like an arse.

"It's not a game, Bella; it's a job. And you're right, I do need it. If you don't want me around then, by all means, try to get rid of me, but all I want to do is keep you safe."

"I was going to be safe," she whispered resentfully, "And then you brought me back."

There was no retort to that.

Immediately I experienced the most gutwrenching guilt. What was I doing, goading her, asking her to be civil with me, like I had any right to make demands of her at all? I was the reason she was trapped here. And despite still lacking gaping chasms of information about why she was here, I couldn't help but feel we had more in common than she knew. No, I'd never been held against my will, but I knew all about feeling trapped. Trapped under the expectations of everyone else, under bills and final notices and eviction letters, under the weight of my own failure and the knowledge that the only way to claw myself out was by doing something awful.

Those were the feelings overwhelming me when I took her. Before that night, I'd never even heard her name. Then Emmett gathered us all into a room, showed us her picture and told us what the boss was offering for her safe return. Honestly, I hadn't gone looking for her that night. I thought the chances of a grunt like me finding her were slim to none. So I just went home. Only to be greeted with my sick, wheelchair-bound mother cleaning up some nasty cuts on poor Seth's face. When he told me he'd been jumped at school for looking like a 'hobo' I just lost it. I needed to get away. Drive as far as that toy car could take me and hopefully get far enough from all my problems they would just be left behind, for a few hours at least.

It was sheer coincidence, finding that dive, and after a full hour of wallowing in self-pity did I finally pay enough attention to my surroundings to catch sight of the exact girl everyone was fussing over. It was like a miracle. The answer to all my prayers. But while she was my miracle, I was clearly her curse. I'd brought her back to captivity and she hated me for it. She could have family, friends, people looking for her, missing her and I'd ruined it all, just to fix my own problems. I didn't know how to tell her she couldn't possibly hate me as much as I hated myself. Somehow, I didn't think she'd believe me, even if I tried.

"Bella..." I began, far more gently. She looked up reluctantly.

"I know how much you must despise me, and honestly, I don't blame you. I just want you to know that if there's anything I can do to make this... situation... easier on you; you can tell me. I don't know how much I can do, but... if there's any way I can-"

"Don't." She stopped me.

"Don't what?"

"Don't try to convince me, or yourself, that you're a good guy. Good guys don't work for men like Jacob Black. It will be a hell of a lot easier for the both of us if you just admit what you are and accept it. At least that way, I won't have to hear you try and justify yourself to me. Trust me when I say, I've heard it all before."

And for some reason, her words... hurt. I'd always tried to be a good person, I wanted to be a doctor for fuck sake. But in this girl's eyes, I was a monster. And it did hurt. Hurt more than I'd ever care to admit.

Feeling the familiar stinging in my eyes, I was quick to force the burning disappointment away. I wouldn't cry in front of this girl. I had no right.

Coughing to dislodge the catch in my throat, I looked pointedly at my shoes before forcing myself to speak. "You're right. I don't have to justify myself to you. What's done is done. And if the best we can do is stay out of each other's way, then so be it."

She seemed almost bewildered by my words until her face slipped into a similar uncaring mask.

"Good. So we'll just go back to pretending the other doesn't exist."

"I guess so."

AAA

After being released for the night, I headed straight for the kitchen. Rumerging through the fridge for any kind of alcohol, I lamented just how angry the earlier conversation had made me. All I'd done was ask if she wanted a blanket, and now I felt like utter shit again. And after such a fun weekend as well. What had I really expected to happen? Why had I even bothered?

"Tough day at the office?"

I near jumped out of my skin, spinning so quickly I bashed the side of my head against the fridge door. With eyes watering in pain, I turned to see a rather contrite looking Jasper standing in the doorway, mild amusement dancing behind his silver spectacles.

"Sorry Edward, I'm rather used to being invisible."

I managed to squeak an awkward, "No problem," before turning back to the fridge to cover my embarrassment.

There was no beer, go figure, so I settled for a can of Coke and held it to the throbbing bruise no doubt blooming on my face. I was surprised to find Jasper still loitering when I turned but didn't say another word as I perched on a stool by the island, cracked open the can and started drinking.

"You look like you could use something much stronger than Cola."

"Yep, sure could," I mumbled, just waiting for him to tell me what he wanted. It was clear he wanted something. Or not. I could never quite tell with Jasper. He was always just so... stoic, like some robot designed to act and think like a human, but not entirely convincing. I wished he would move or fidget or something, his intensity was starting to make me nervous. What would he possibly want from me, of all people?

"Edward, can I give you some advice?" He finally asked.

"Sure?"

"Don't get attached."

"Huh?" Was my intelligent reply.

"I know what it's like to have people you barely know make an impact on your life. When you meet someone who bears all their hopes and dreams and fears to you before you even learn their name, it's difficult to not think of that person, as a person. When I was in the army, I was in charge of dozens of baby-faced boys who were barely off their mother's tit but had been thrown face-first into a war zone. I couldn't get attached, because I knew it was just as likely that someone I'd be eating next to one morning would have his arms blown off by late afternoon. Still, a few of them did get under my skin, and I regret letting that happen, because those are the names I have to recite every night before I can sleep, and their faces are always with me.

"What I'm saying, Edward, is that it would be best if you keep your distance from that girl. I know you have to be with her physically, but just... don't get attached. She could end up ruining you if you let her."