tw for body shaming / it's all in a memory, and nothing happens in the present day—just some mean childhood bullies that inspire some sad internal thoughts. message me if you want some more info!
.: Chapter Four: Breaking Through :.
"Not everybody has to be happy all the time. That's not mental health, that's crap." – Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy
Sirius didn't want to go anywhere near Diagon Alley today. He was perfectly content where he was, curled up in the camp bed in James's bedroom. Sirius had never been this person before—the person with no money. No matter his parent's hatred for him, they never let him go anywhere without a bag full of Galleons. Now, all Sirius had to his name was fourteen sickles, six knuts and a Gobstone. He knew that the Potters would buy his school supplies for him, and even replace the two books and his potion kit that had been left behind at Grimmauld Place, but he didn't want to have to ask them to do it. Sirius hated feeling like a charity case, hated feeling there was nothing left in his life that was simply his.
He had been staring out the crack in the curtains for a while, not really paying attention to the passing of time or the sounds of pans banging together in the kitchen; therefore, it wasn't a surprise when Sirius didn't hear James push open the door.
"You plan on getting out of bed anytime soon?" James asked. Sirius jumped slightly at the sound of his voice, but lazily rolled over to meet the concerned gaze of his best friend. "We were supposed to meet the guys… uh… about five minutes ago." James laughed lightly after checking his bare wrist for his imaginary watch.
"I'm not really feeling it today, James," Sirius responded, turning back to stare at the crack in the curtains. He heard James sigh and begin rummaging around the room. It could have been two minutes or ten when James started shoving at his legs.
"Budge up, why don't you?" Sirius pulled his legs up to his chest and felt the unsteady bed dip as James sat the end of it. "You want to talk about anything?"
"No," Sirius mumbled. "I just don't want to go anywhere today."
"Sirius… I just want to say–"
Sirius cut him off, "No, James. I already know what you're going to say and frankly, I don't want ta' hear it. I've got enough pity for myself, thanks, I don't need any of yours."
"Pity?" James scoffed. "I don't pity you. I was going to say that you're strong as hell for finally leaving. I was going to say that I don't think that I ever would have been able to do what you did. I was going to say that you're too hard on yourself, and you don't deserve that. And—uh, well… you're my… you're my best mate, and it sucks to see you so down."
"I'm not 'down,' James, I just don't–"
"Oh knock it off, Padfoot," James snapped, slapping Sirius smartly on his thigh.
"Uh, ow? Did you just slap me?" Sirius asked, surprise and shock leaching into his voice. "Why did you–"
James smacked him again and Sirius scrambled up the bed and out of reach of his best friends' hands. They were light smacks, more intended to startle than hurt, and startle they did.
"Alright, you're going to listen to me!" James exclaimed, jumping up from the bed and pointing a finger at Sirius. Sirius looked on in fascination as his friend began to pace, not really understanding what was going on. "First, I know that you're going through shit that I could never begin to understand. And I also know that you don't tell us all the stuff that goes on when you're at home. I know that it's worse than you let on. And it's okay that you don't want to tell us all of it. It's your business, but I don't think that you understand the fact that we are here. We. Are. Here. And we've been here since that first night in the dormitory six years ago, and there's nothing that you could tell us that would force us away!"
Sirius was staring at his hands, nervously fiddling with the signet ring he still wore on his finger. "I… uh, James I–"
"Just one more second, Padfoot," James interrupted again. "I'm almost done, okay?"
James, ever the most tenacious Marauder, patiently waited for Sirius's nod before continuing.
"Well, secondly, stop calling me James so much. It's weird and you haven't done it this frequently since the beginning of third year."
Sirius wrinkled his nose, but James spoke up again, not allowing Sirius to get a word in even if he had known what he'd wanted to say.
"Thirdly! We went on a bloody fantastic summer vacation to Greece and Paris and Australia and you were sad the whole time! And that's okay, Padfoot, because I know that sometimes we just can't help but feel sad. Now though, right now, you are going to snap out of it. You are going to stop telling yourself that the grass is greener on the other side because it's not. It is greener where you fucking water it. So take control of your own damn life and start watering your own damn pastures and grow your own damn greener grasses, Sirius Black, or so help me, I'll bloody knock you out."
Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "What the hell just came out of your mouth?"
James laughed and said, "I'm not sure," before his eyes widened comically. "Oh god, Padfoot. I'm turning into my mother! That's what my mum would've said to you!"
Sirius was laughing as James sank back onto the bed, his face in his hands. He jokingly patted James on the head before flopping down onto his back and sighing. "I'm sorry that I'm sad," Sirius said.
"Don't apologize for what you're feeling," James sighed. "I shouldn't have told you to 'snap out of it.' That wasn't fair because I know that it doesn't work like that. I just want you to feel better and I'm not really sure how to help you do that."
"Well, you seem to be doing just fine," Sirius comforted. "Don't beat yourself up over it."
"Really? You're feeling better?" James's expression was so earnest when he looked up and met Sirius's eyes, that Sirius couldn't bear the thought of letting him down.
"Yeah, mate." Sirius smiled. "I'm feeling better."
He hoped that one day it wouldn't be a lie.
.:..:.
Ten minutes later, Sirius ambled down the stairs and into the kitchen. Euphemia was just setting the kettle to boil on the stove, and Sirius was happy with the familiarity of it. At Grimmauld Place, there was never something as simple as making tea in the mornings. He didn't think that his mother even knew how to make a decent cup of tea.
"Morning Sirius." Mia smiled, setting a pastry down on the counter in front of him. "I trust you slept well? I hope Monty and I didn't keep you up too late with our music." Truthfully, Sirius hadn't even known that there was music being played last night. He was so used to living in the middle of London that the quiet rumblings of a record player late at night were nothing.
"Slept just fine, Mrs. Potter," Sirius reassured. He tucked into his pastry, which turned out to be cherry flavored, and waited for James to emerge from whatever bowels of this mansion he had retreated into. Sometimes, Sirius still couldn't get over the sheer size of James's house. Even compared to Grimmauld Place, it was huge. The Potters regularly only kept to one corner of it—the smallest corner of it, actually—with their bedrooms all in one wing and the den, living room, and kitchen in another. Sirius knew that there were three other wings to the house, the ones housing the guest quarters, James's parents offices, the ballroom, and the massive dining room, but they were rarely frequented and kept maintained only by the three House Elves that have been with the Potters since Monty himself was an infant.
"Do you want something else to eat, dear? Or maybe just some tea?" Mrs. Potter asked.
"Uh, tea's fine," Sirius responded, snapping out of his stupor. "We'll probably eat a whole lot once we get to Diagon Alley. Actually, I'm sure Peter will insist on it."
Mia laughed. "Speaking of Diagon, I've pulled some money from Gringotts for you boys to spend today. I wasn't sure how much you'd want, but I don't even think James could spend this much in one day. There should be plenty to spare for the both of you once you get all your school supplies."
"You don't…" Sirius began, his words catching on the way out of his mouth. "You, uh, you don't have to do all this. I mean school supplies are one thing, but just giving me money is a whole other thing. I don't—I would hate to be a-a bother to you."
Sirius couldn't even look in the general direction of Mia right now, in fear that his face would give away every turbulent emotion that he was feeling at the moment. Heat was creeping up his neck, and his hands were clammy when he rubbed them on his trousers. Shame wasn't a feeling that he was used to, and he found that he really wasn't that fond of it.
"Nonsense, dear," the woman said, laying a hand on Sirius's cheek so she could look at him properly. "We love you very much, Sirius, and we love having you here. I would be angry with myself if I let you leave today without you knowing this. I am very sorry that you had to grow up the way you did, you deserved better—you deserve better. So don't you worry a lick about the galleons, sweetie."
Sirius was pulled in for a hug and he squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears that wanted to break free. It had been a long time since a mother had held him like this, and he could feel something twisting in his chest, pulling his stomach into knots.
"Don't give your parents one more ounce of your grief," she whispered into his hair. He nodded and managed to bury his face even deeper into her neck.
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Marlene McKinnon hated Flooing.
It made her stomach feel all funny, and she usually managed to find soot someplace on her body hours after the fact, no matter if she had changed her clothes or not. The thing she hated most about Flooing, however, was the fact that she never seemed able to do it properly. She always stumbled out of the grate, and there was nothing graceful about it. Flooing someplace familiar, like her home, never bothered her, but she knew that there would be unfamiliar patrons in the Leaky Cauldron, and that they would see her tumble through the Floo.
The unwanted attention was the obstacle she was facing at the moment.
She was pacing back and forth in front of her fireplace, wearing a tread in the old brown carpet and dreading the moment that she would throw down the ash-like powder and swirl away to her destination. She couldn't do it. She would just write to Lily tonight and make up some excuse as to why she couldn't meet everyone in Diagon Alley… but then Lily would be disappointed that she didn't come—hell, all her friends would be disappointed. Marlene couldn't do that to them. Wouldn't do that to them. The only thing she hated more than undue attention, was letting her friends down.
Marlene groaned and sunk into the plushy couch facing the fireplace.
She dropped her head in her hands, closing her eyes.
This summer had been hard on Marlene. She had started having anxiety attacks that began in the later weeks of June, and they had quickly become more frequent over the course of the summer, increasing to the point of almost being unbearable. Why Merlin had felt the need to gift her with this now, of all the times in her life it would have been warranted, she didn't know. All she knew was that it sucked major arse.
The first anxiety attack occurred at the end of June when Marlene's mother had let out a shocked gasp over the morning's Daily Prophet. Her mother had shakily handed over the paper, and all Marlene remembered was white noise. Her old neighbor, Anya, had been found murdered with her children the night before. The Aurors had found the twenty-one-year-old wrapped around the bodies of her two young daughters in their home on the other side of Wiltshire. Anya's husband Michael was left broken, a shadow of the happy and carefree man that Marlene used to know—the absence of his family sitting like a ghost behind his eyes. She had barely recognized him when she saw him at the funeral a week later.
Having grown up with Anya and Michael, the death of her and her beautiful daughters had been too much.
She had spiraled from there, and her anxiety has begun to feel like an overbearing old friend. Her life felt stilted, and she couldn't remember what it felt like to be 'normal' anymore, but she'd grown to expect the attacks and learned to greet them apathetically. Her coping techniques were essentially non-existent, but she'd come to the understanding that if she pulled her clothing tightly around her midsection, it would calm her down; it was the pressure that seemed to help.
As she was growing up, Marlene spent weekends at the Muggle cattle farm down the road. She'd fallen in love with the fresh air, the sound of the chickens clucking, and the soft swish of the horse's tails as they grazed the fields. The cows, she thought, were weird, but she loved them most of all. Their bodies were ill proportioned, and she didn't understand how all of that weight could rest on those four little legs with the tiny, tiny hooves. She still liked them though, because not one of them looked the same. There had to be over four hundred cows on that farm and every single one of them were different, but she vowed she would never go back once she realized what the nice old farmer man did to the cows on that cattle farm.
The man, Earl was his name, would herd a bull into the confines of a small wooden cage and slaughter it.
Marlene never thought that she would benefit from that experience, but seeing the bull calm down because of the pressure on its sides has benefitted her in more ways than one. She's been able to calm herself down the same way in recent weeks, ever since her five-year-old brother had found her in the corner of her room and collapsed on her chest, squeezing her harder than she thought such a small child capable of.
She tried not to dwell on the fact that she relied on the same technique used to calm bulls before they're slaughtered… that particular thought made her feel slightly queasy.
That's what she was doing now, though—pulling her shirt tight, hugging herself, and trying to calm her racing heart. It was taking longer to work this time, but she could feel her heartbeat slowing down and her labored breathing calming. She took a final deep breath, grabbed a handful of Floo powder from the vase on the mantle, and stepped into the hearth. She threw down the powder before she could, once again, talk herself out of it, and called out as clearly as she could, "The Leaky Cauldron."
All she saw was the vast wall of green flames and the split-second scenes of various sitting rooms that whisked away before she could get a real look. What Marlene didn't see was her mother's proud smile from where she had stood out of sight around the corner of the kitchen.
.:..:.
When the Leaky Cauldron finally spun into view, she stumbled out of the fireplace. Marlene managed to catch herself on a table, letting out a loud "mph," as a few people glanced up from their drinks to look in her direction. Before anything worse than shaky hands could happen, she heard her name being called from the other end of the bar. Lily Evans, Ailana Fernández, Mary MacDonald and Alice Fortesque were seated around a small round table with nearly empty glasses of Butterbeer in front of them.
Marlene felt a little more at ease now that she saw her friends, and she gave them a small friendly wave before making her way over to them. They all seemed to be glowing, their tanned skin and freckles alluding to a summer well spent. Behind their happiness, though, Marlene knew that they had worries of their own that were sometimes made obvious by the small lines that appeared between their eyebrows or the constant twitching of a leg.
She knew the tides were turning, and that things had actually been bad for a while now, but it was infinitely more real now that it had affected Marlene firsthand. She knew that Lily and Mary worried for their Muggle families, and the horrible things that could happen to them for simply having a daughter who was born as a witch. And she knew that Ailana's brother was a squib, and that her father's side didn't take the news very well. And Alice was worried about everything all the time: Frank, her grades, Frank, her neurotic mother, her friends, and Frank.
She tried to shove that from her mind as she reached their table. All her friends jumped up as she neared, and she was engulfed in a massive, bone-crushing, four-way hug. She'd missed this… the embraces of her friends.
"What took you so long?" Mary asked.
"We were getting worried about you, Marley," Lily added.
"I'm sorry you lot, I didn't mean to. I just lost track of time trying to finish up my summer work before we head back," Marlene lied easily. "I felt it would be a nice change of pace to not rush through it all on the train."
"Well did you finish it?" Ailana smirked slyly. She was the last of the girls to pull back from the hug, though her hand lingered gently on the curve of Marlene's hip.
"Of course I didn't finish it." Marlene smiled. "Where's Emmeline? Could she not get out of the house?"
"No, her mom's roped her into another day of 'mother-daughter-bonding' before the train leaves. Plus, she's already got her school supplies so she didn't really have an actual excuse to come," Mary replied, her displeasure at the fact that her best friend was unable to meet up evident in her expression.
"I put my foot down on those days a long time ago," Alice laughed. "It was getting annoying when all she wanted to talk about was Frank."
"But you love to talk about Frank," Ailana drawled as she retook her seat and drank the dregs of her Butterbeer.
"And you do talk about Frank a lot, dear," Lily laughed, patting Alice's arm slowly.
"You would too–" Alice paused, smirking, "–if I wouldn't be suspicious of it." She grabbed her purse from the back of the chair and slung it over her shoulder.
"Would not," Lily retorted, absentmindedly pulling Alice's hair out from under the purse strap.
"No, she'd just talk about James." Ailana smirked.
"I would not!" Lily denied.
"Would too!" Mary laughed. "It'd start off about how Potter ticked you off that day, and there would be all these underlying hints about the sexual tension between you two, that everyone knows is there except you two, by the way, while you ranted about his 'bloody messy hair' and his 'stupid arrogant smirk.'"
"I bet you can think of more ways than one to wipe that smirk right off his face," Mary muttered, smirking herself as Lily's face grew even redder than it already was.
"First off, there is no–" Lily broke herself off and looked around, realizing how loud her voice sounded. She sucked in a breath and started again at a more appropriate volume. "There is no sexual tension between me and Potter. I honestly don't even know why you would say that because it-it's completely—it's complete and utter lunacy! I do not see Potter that way. And secondly, the only way I would wipe a smirk off his face would be courtesy of a slap, thank you very much."
Lily finished in a huff and turned on her heel to be the first one to head down the Alley, causing everyone else to laugh.
"Maybe, Lil," Marlene said, catching up to her. "But you can't deny that the first thing that popped into your head concerning Potter's smirk would be to–"
"–Snog it off of that bloke's face. My dear, there are only a few women who would pass up that chance," Ailana finished.
"You being one of them, of course," Lily said.
Ailana looked pensive for a moment, but Marlene knew it was all for show. "No… I'd do it. If only because it would make you wickedly jealous, and not necessarily because I'd enjoy it personally," Ailana said, flipping her short curly hair out of her eyes as Alice laughed. "But who knows, James is probably a good kisser—for a guy, that is."
Lily laughed and wrapped an arm around Marlene's waist, leaning her head on her shoulder. "I missed you girls," Lily said. "Even if I have to put up with your teasing, I missed you."
"Well, I'm sure we'll be sick to death of each other by the end of term," Ailana said, as they passed under the archway onto the sunlit cobblestones of Diagon Alley.
"You could never get sick of me," Alice said, pulling the rest of the girls together and linking their arms.
.:..:.
The day seemed to wither away before Marlene's eyes. The five girls flitted in and out of almost every store in Diagon Alley, not necessarily buying anything, but trying to spend as much time together as possible. Ailana and Mary bought new robes from Madam Malkins, seeing as they both were now taller than Marlene herself—which wasn't an easy feat at all. They all purchased their school books at Flourish and Blotts and their potion ingredients at the Apothecary, which they eventually had to drag Lily out of after she'd caught sight of the newest cauldron model. Marlene basked in the presence of her friends after a summer spent in isolation away from them, and was determined to make the most of their time together.
She couldn't quite manage to keep those niggling thoughts out of her head, though. She didn't want her friends to find out about her near crippling anxiety. She didn't want it to alter their view of her, so she carried around this unrealistic reservation about being herself around them. She didn't want to add to their worries, nor did she want them to talk about it behind her back. Even thinking about them finding out was making her nauseous because knowing that they were amazing friends, and trusting every inch of yourself to them, were two separate things.
Moreover, Marlene also felt that she was the outcast among her friends, the one that didn't quite fit their collective "look." Each one of her friends were petite. Lily was the shortest, and her newly acquired curves made Marlene jealous, but the other four girls were about Marlene's height; though, they were whip-like, built for either a Quidditch match or a runway show. Ailana could fit in in either profession, and her upper body strength was something that Marlene marveled at. As for herself, Marlene's mom calls her "sturdy," but Marlene only remembers the childhood bullies' taunts of "fattie" that were yelled across a lake as she swung out on the rope swing. Her anxiety had just worsened her body confidence issues, and she hated looking into a mirror at all these days. Quidditch had filled her out, but nothing Marlene ever tried has helped her lose weight, and that was the only solution that Marlene could think of that would make her feel better about herself.
"Marley?" Mary asked, shaking Marlene's arm. "You alright? Alice asked you a question."
Scratching her forehead absently and trying to pull herself from the hole she had just fallen into, Marlene replied, "Must have zoned out there for a minute. What'd you ask, Alice?"
Before Alice could repeat herself, Lily sucked in a sharp breath of air. They had spotted each other at the same time, but their reactions to the other's presence were very different. After recovering from the initial shock of seeing them, Lily groaned and muttered irritably to her friends. Marlene watched Potter grin like a madman and nudge Sirius in the ribs. One day. That was all she wanted. Marlene hadn't seen her friends at all this summer, and she wanted one uninterrupted day of catching up and shopping. But it seemed that luck was not on her side, and Sirius Black and his mates were walking towards them. Marlene had instantly reached up to unconsciously flatten her wavy blond hair, her crush on Sirius making her fumble even more than she usually did.
If Marlene were a bolder person, she would sit Sirius down somewhere and make him acknowledge what could be a wonderful and budding romance between them. She wanted to scream at him until he realized what was obvious. But Marlene was not a bold person, so Ailana ran forward first. Her short brown hair was bouncing happily as she practically jumped into Remus's arms—as he was her favorite—before making her rounds through all four boys in front of her.
"You should have owled us!" Mary said, also giving the boys hugs. "We could've met up earlier in the day!"
"Could have," Sirius grinned, "but I don't think Evans is too happy to see us."
"Of course she is!" Alice said, looking pointedly in Lily's direction. "Aren't you, Lils?"
Marlene couldn't hold back her snicker as Lily tried to morph her features into a pleased expression and achieving only a sort of half grimace that caused James to burst into laughter.
"Just give me a hug, you old hag," Sirius said. He pulled Lily into a hug, and the unusual moment of open affection did not slip by anyone. Marlene and the girls gave the Marauders a questioning look, but all they received in response were two shrugs and a pleased smirk from James. Sirius finally released Lily, and she looked at Sirius intently, placing a hand on his cheek and smiling softly in question, but he was just as forthcoming as the rest of the boys. Marlene sighed.
Lily seemed to eye James with distrust before starting her procession of hugs as well. Lily squeezed Peter tightly, gave Remus a quick peck on the cheek after he gave her a nod, and then reached up to put her arms around James's neck. He seemed to hold onto her longer than everyone else did, and Marlene watched his arms tighten almost imperceptibly before he slowly let her go. Lily laughed uncomfortably as she pulled away, running a hand through her hair and turning away from him, showcasing her red face to her best friends instead. Marlene watched as Ailana shook her head, exasperated with Lily's blindness.
Marlene grinned. Lily had no idea that Marlene wanted to set them both down in a room, and knock some common sense into them about their obvious feelings.
"Come on, come on," Sirius said. He was waving his hands in an impatient manner and beckoning Marlene foreword. "Give me a hug Marls, yes, I missed you too."
It seemed that all of Marlene's over-analyzing was taking too long for Sirius because he strutted over, pulled her in by the waist and lifted her off the ground, spinning her in a circle with his amount of enthusiasm. What would make most girls squeal with delight, only made Marlene tense because she knew that Sirius could feel the extra skin on her sides.
He spun her around once, and set her down, smoothing a calloused hand down her bare arm. "As beautiful as ever, Marls." Sirius smiled.
Marlene's lips only quirked a little, but she quietly said, "Thank you," before he turned to Alice and Mary.
Growth and healing would take time.
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Marlene was stiff in his arms as he lifted her up, so Sirius only spun her around once before he set her down, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Her eyes lingered on him after he rubbed a hand down her arm, and he gave a loose smile to try and reassure her. "As beautiful as ever, Marls," he said truthfully.
He almost missed her quiet "Thank you," as he turned away to greet Alice and Mary.
After the girls declined their invitation to visit the Quidditch supply store, the Marauders once again set off on their own with vague plans to meet back up with them at Fortesque's Ice Cream Parlor later. They bantered easily on the way to Quality Quidditch Supplies, with Remus steering the topics towards anything but him. Sirius noticed, and he was sure the others did too, considering that Moony's ability to change the topic, no matter how effective they were, were anything but subtle. They let him have his privacy, though, and, as usual, didn't pressure him into talking about it.
Sirius could ask him about it later, though—privately.
Despite the large crowd hanging around outside the door, the inside of the Quidditch store was nearly empty. The two other patrons consisted of only a young couple that seemed to be, at most, five years older than the Marauders themselves. James went straight to the Chaser's section with an excited murmur, and Sirius drifted aimlessly down the aisles, not looking for anything in particular. That was the case until he came to the surprisingly large assortment of beaters bats. They had everything from extra-grip and extra-reliable to kids sized ones complete with mini-bludgers, advertised as "soft and harmless," for the tykes to play with. There was a sleek black bat with a gold stripe painted around the handle that caught his eye. He picked it up and was happy to realize that the weight and size was perfect for his grip.
"You should get it," Remus said, startling Sirius from his inspection. "Not to give your ego any more of a boost, but you're really good, and you could make the house team in a heartbeat. Plus, Price graduated last year, and James is captain, so you're a shoe-in."
"Sadly, I'm broke," Sirius replied, hoping for a light tone. By the look on Remus's face, he hadn't succeeded as well as he'd hoped. "I can use the school's bats if I feel like trying out."
"We both know the school bats are shit, and haven't been replaced in fifty years," James sing-songed from the next aisle. "We've got plenty of money left, Padfoot. Get the bat."
James rounded the corner, Peter in tow and shaking the bag of coins expectantly.
"This is frivolous and–"
"And," James cut in, "I'm filthy rich."
"And humble, too," piped in Remus, a smirk on his face.
James rolled his eyes. "What's mine is yours now, and no amount of your evading is going to change that."
"We're not married, Prongs," Sirius laughed. "Ease off, I can get it some other time."
James made a face, but didn't push him anymore. They browsed the store for a few more minutes before James made his way to the counter to purchase his things. James conversed with the shopkeeper quietly, but Sirius was too distracted staring at the hole in the collar of Remus's t-shirt to listen to what James was saying.
Right before they exited the store, James shoved a brown parcel into Sirius's chest. "Oi, I'm not carrying your shit around. We really aren't married, Prongsie, you do know that?"
"Quit being a tosser and just open it, will you?" James snapped, shoving the rest of his purchases into a bag with an undetectable extension charm. Sirius impatiently tore off the paper and stared, speechless, down at the beaters bat in his hand.
"You didn't?" Sirius asked, even though it was very obvious that he had. "Why did–"
"It's your moving out present," James said simply.
"That's not a thing, smart-ass," Sirius retorted.
"It is now. I'm making it a thing, right now," James insisted.
Sirius had no idea what to say to James that would make any type of sense. He was sad, and excited, and down-right angry, but he'd never been the best at voicing what he's feeling.
Remus slung an arm over Sirius's shoulder, and the little remaining coherent thought evaporated. These were his friends. His best friends. And it really wasn't as big of a deal as Sirius was trying to make it out to be. He leaned into Remus's side and shook his head. As cheesy as James's advice had been, maybe he should start watering his own grass…
"A moving out present, huh?" he said with a small smile.
thanks so much to everyone that has left reviews and favorited and followed! i can't tell you how much it means to me that people are liking this story :'))
so, i read a thing on tumblr about greener grasses YEARS ago and i thought it was a little ridiculous, but it also immediately reminded me of something obnoxious that james would say jdskdj
personal tid-bit: cherry turnovers are my favorite pastry. and i always try to incorporate them into my fics because they need more love.
next chapter they're back to hogwarts and things start picking up! comments and favorites make happy brain chemicals :))
