i'm so so sorry for the long wait between updates, but this pandemic is not conducive to brainpower. i hope this chapter makes up for the wait tho, because it is one of my favorites so far.


.: Chapter Fourteen: A Christmas Tragedy :.

"Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life." – J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings

Lily was hot. Her bedcovers were twisted around her thighs, and Sirius had a heavy arm thrown around her waist, his breath like fire on her neck. However, it wasn't her friend that woke her, but rather the creak of her bedroom door and the loud exhale of a long suffering sigh. Lily rolled her head to the side to see her father hovering in the doorway. His gaze traveled from Sirius's naked chest, to the arm draped across her stomach, and then finally landing, rather pointedly, on her face.

"Everything alright, Dad?" she croaked. Her throat ached for water.

"Your mum's got breakfast waiting," he said, surprisingly keeping his voice low so as not to wake Sirius. Inclining his head towards the slumbering boy in her bed, he added, "She went all out for his last morning here."

Lily nodded and started to get up, but Sirius wasn't budging.

"Evans, stop bloody movin' will you?" he mumbled, apparently trying to burrow further into her neck.

"Christ, Sirius," she grumbled. "Get up, there's food on the table. And you're like a freaking furnace."

"Dunno what a furnace is," he murmured, finally releasing his hold on her. She was shaking her head and throwing her hair into a ponytail while walking towards her dad. Her father's expression was not what she expected it to be—she expected amusement for Sirius's ignorance, annoyance over their sleeping arrangements, or rather anything but the blankness of his current expression. She looked back at Sirius and immediately understood.

This was the first night all week that Sirius had taken his shirt off to sleep. She'd had a good huff about it when he jostled her in the night to do it, but for some unbeknownst reason it had felt like they were sleeping in a sauna last night. Lily herself had thrown on an airy black tank top and thin sleep shorts, having had to dig to the bottom of her summer trunk to find them. This was also the first night all week that her father had woken them up—he'd previously done all he could to ignore the fact that Sirius was sleeping next to her despite Lily's earlier assurance that they were as platonic as two people could get. Usually Petunia's hair dryer did the trick—waking them up, that is—or even the sunlight streaming through the open blinds, but today it was her dad.

Sirius was currently sprawled out on his back, the covers also tangled around his legs, displaying his tattooed and scarred chest in all its horrid glory. Lily had been privy to the sight only a few times over the years, and each time it was revealed to her, there was a new jagged pink line added to its ranks. It never failed to make her jaw clench in anger. And as she well knew, she got both her temper and her morals from her father, so it came as no surprise to see his jaw doing the same thing hers was accustomed to.

She grabbed her robe from the peg on the back of the door and gave her dad two pats on the arm. He followed her out of the room and she knew that he wouldn't ask—not wanting to pry—but she also knew that he'd want to know.

"His parents are absolutely horrible," she informed him under her breath, not wanting Sirius to hear what she was saying. "He's not living at home anymore, but he was there long enough."

"Is that why…why he was–"

"Drunk at that pub before I went back to school? Yeah. He's normally not like that, I promise. He's just had a rough go of it these last few months, but he's—thankfully—finally got some of his bearings back."

Her dad just nodded as they descended the stairs. "I'm glad he's got you," he said.

Lily just smiled, but she knew it didn't reach her eyes.

She greeted her mother, who had indeed cooked something akin to a feast, and took her seat at the dining table—tucking her bare feet under her and regretting not grabbing socks as apparently the sauna of her room didn't extend to the kitchen. She wasn't even halfway through her assurance to her mother that Sirius would be right down when she heard him shuffling down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Uh, Lily?" he muttered, pushing strands of his long hair away from his face. "Is there a reason that Snape is in front of your house, or can I kick his arse? Pardon my French, Mrs. Evans."

"I've heard you speak French, Sirius," her mother said. She laughed, filling up a plate full of eggs and not even looking up from the task. "That was not French."

"Er—right," Lily mumbled, rolling her eyes and looking back to Sirius. "You cannot beat him up. He'll go away eventually."

Sirius took a seat and stifled a yawn. "You mean this is a regular occurrence?"

Lily shrugged, unaware that her father's expression had darkened.

"Not so often here, but I know he hangs around outside Gryffindor Tower, and that he sometimes trails me to the library after Charms."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius asked, indignant. "Not telling James I sort of get because he would've gone full mummy-bear, but me? Or, at the very least, Remus when you were on one of your do-gooder patrols? Hell, I wouldn't even be mad if it'd been Wormtail that you'd told. Why–?"

"Because nothing ever happens," Lily interjected, stopping him before he really got on a roll. "And I didn't want to overreact. And they're called prefect patrols, because rules are necessary."

"Lily," Sirius groaned, closing his eyes as if praying for patience. "Snape's a bigoted arsehole who shouldn't be anywhere near you. I'm gonna go tell him to" –a glance to Lily's mother– "eff off."

He made to stand, and Lily snatched his arm to hold him back. "What's the worst he's gonna do? Call me names?" she tried to reason.

"Well considering the names that he calls you, I'd say that's bad enough."

Lily snatched his other wrist, not allowing him to leave the kitchen. She'd already confronted Severus once about him following her, and he'd still kept it up. After the knowledge that Mulciber was the one who'd attacked Mary had made its rounds of the Hogwarts gossip mill, Severus only became more insistent. It had happened outside the portrait hole the day after the Hogsmeade visit:

The first thing Lily said to him was, "Save your breath."

It was past midnight, and Lily had hastily thrown on her dressing gown before storming out of the portrait hole, only thinking that she might as well get this conversation over with. This meeting had started exactly the way she thought that it would: him defending himself.

"I only came because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here," Lily said, huffing a little and crossing her arms over her chest. She only just realized that she actually would have preferred to be wearing more clothes under the dressing gown than just her baggy sleep shirt, but there was no going back now.

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just–"

"Slipped out?" Lily finished. She didn't want to hear any of this. Any pity she had for the situation, or any that she still harbored for herself at her current position in life, was long gone. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends—you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Lily watched him gape, and then close his mouth without speaking. Granted, this was the first time she had voiced these accusations, and her heart sank a little more at the realization that they were likely true.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No—listen, I didn't mean–"

"–to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" Lily interrupted again.

She made to go back through the portrait hole, but he called, "Wait!" and she stopped, one last time, for the friend she remembered him to be.

"I thought we were supposed to be friends?" he asked, his voice timid.

"We were," she stated, her voice devoid of emotion lest she start rambling. "I'm sorry, but I can't forgive this. There's just too many bad rumors going 'round about you and your friends right now. And I detest Avery and Mulciber. Mulciber! Do you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"

"It was nothing," Snape defended. "It was a laugh, that's all–"

"It was gross, it was slimy, and someone needs to teach him how to keep his hands to himself or he'll find himself without them, and his pal Avery will have to wipe his arse for him. It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny–"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" Snape demanded. Color rose high in his cheeks as it usually did when James was mentioned. He seemed unable to hold in his resentment for the quartet of friends.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" demanded Lily. She was properly angry now. Lily could see the cycle that they were falling back into. Snape doing something that's immoral or seemingly unredeemable, and then proceeding to make her feel guilty about her anger by bringing up James and his friends. But no matter what the Marauders do to Snape, none of it was ever done with the use of Dark Magic. School boy pranks were nothing when compared to the so-called 'fun' that Severus and his friends got up to.

Lily's anger clouded her hearing because she'd heard nothing of Severus's ramblings until he said, "I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."

"Well you're not all what a supposed best friend chalked up to be, either," Lily retorted, almost regretting it when his eyes shuttered.

"Well I won't let you–"

"Let me? Let me?"

Lily's bright eyes narrowed to slits, and Severus had the good sense to backtrack at once.

"I didn't' mean—I just don't want to see you made a fool of—He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" Sev seemed to be saying these things against his will, almost as if they were wrenched from him. "And he's not… everyone thinks… big Quidditch hero–" He was rambling at this point, his hatred making him nearly incoherent.

"I think I'll find out how he is by myself, for a change. Maybe I'll find myself thinking something different than what you've conditioned me to."

And with that, Lily whispered the password and climbed through the portrait hole, leaving Severus to face his anger alone.

Lily was drawn from her memories by her father's chair scraping against the floor. Before Lily could so much as let out a breath, Sirius had used her grip on his arms to pull her from her chair and into the hallway after her father.

"Dad, don't!" she protested, but it was too late and her father had already opened the front door. She had no choice but to follow Sirius's fast paced march to the front window, where she joined him in peeking out around the floral curtains.

"Morning, Severus," she heard her father say, his voice muffled by the glass of the window. "Do you need something?"

"I was hoping to speak with Lily," the boy responded, looking at his shoes. Now that they were out of school, his baggy Muggle clothes had made their reappearance. The jacket he wore was a hunter green, and the sleeves were so frayed that Lily was surprised it was still a functioning coat.

"She's eating breakfast with her mother and a friend right now," her dad replied. "And I don't believe she'd like to speak with you anyway."

"A friend?" Severus scrunched up his eyebrows. "I'd hardly call Sirius Black a friend. Do you know anything about him, Sir?"

"I know enough," was her father's gruff response.

Lily watched her ex-best friend's fists clench at his sides and his knees start rhythmically knocking together. She'd been around him long enough to know that he was anxious, but she was past the point in her life where her first response would be to talk him down—to soothe him. Now she just watched with morbid fascination, wondering how this was going to end.

"I-I've heard things about him," was Snape's reply. "Awful things! Did you know he–?"

Her father cut him off though. "I'm not interested in what you heard he did. He's given me absolutely no reason to mistrust him, and he's a good lad. Why don't you go home now, Severus? I'm sure if Lily ever does wish to speak to you, she'll seek you out."

Her father, never a man of many words, turned immediately to head back into the house. In the ten seconds before Sirius dragged her away from the window, she watched Severus tilt his head towards the sky and close his eyes. She vowed, in that moment, he would never be 'Severus' to her again—only 'Snape'.

.:..:.

Christmas morning dawned bright and cold. After having Sirius's company every night for three nights, she was desperately missing his body heat and was immediately sad that he'd gone back to James's the previous evening. Stuffing her feet into the fluffiest pair of socks that she owned, and donning her blanket as a shawl, she made her way down the stairs to the living room. Her parents were already perched on the sofa, mugs held in their hands and a blanket thrown over their laps, but Petunia was likely still cloistered in the bathroom. Gone were the days that her sister would open presents in her pajamas and bedhead.

Giving both her mother and father a kiss on the cheek, she took her usual place on the rug in front of them, leaning her head back onto her mother's lap. Lily closed her eyes as her mum carded her fingers gently through her sleep-tangled hair.

Christmas morning traditions in the Evans household had been the same since Lily was a little girl, and she was happy to have them now. With so much else going on in her life at the moment, she was glad to see this, at least, wasn't changing anytime soon.

"How'd you sleep, dear?" her mother asked.

"Fine," Lily replied, not opening her eyes. "It was freezing though. So much so that I'd suffer through Sirius's sleep-talking just to get his body heat back."

Rose laughed. "He did always seem to be running at a higher temperature than all of us."

Lily just hummed.

Petunia plopped onto the armchair a few minutes later, and Edward got up to start passing out gifts. Lily talked and laughed with her family, and even Petunia let a smile grace over her lips when opening Lily's present. Lily was refolding the scarf she'd just opened when her mother ruffled her hair and retreated into the kitchen to finish cooking Christmas dinner. Lily took her mother's vacated seat on the couch and leaned her head on her father's shoulder.

"Vernon is coming to dinner, right?" Lily asked her sister.

"Yes, he should be here at two," Petunia stated, her expression not betraying her true thoughts on the matter. "And no funny business while he's here, you got that?"

Lily sighed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you that I can't do magic outside of school, Tuney?"

"Well you always seem to find a way around those rules don't you!" Petunia accused.

"I do not!" Lily denied, sitting up and dislodging her blanket. "I have never done magic outside school; you just like to blame me for everything that goes wrong around here!"

"Girls, girls, enough," her father scolded. "It's Christmas, let's go one day without a squabble, alright?"

.:..:.

It took Lily two minutes to decide that she did not like Vernon Dursley. He was pompous, self-righteous, and his ego was the size of Russia— basically, everything that Snape thought about the Marauders was true only of this man. He was tall, towering a good foot and a half over Lily, but even his height didn't make up for all the extra weight that sat around his middle. His mustache reminded Lily of a walrus, and his black hair made him look even paler than he was. The thing that Lily disliked about him most, though, was the way he talked down to her father.

One of the first things out of his mouth was some classist nonsense about her father's job as a mechanic. Even worse yet was that Petunia didn't even open her mouth to defend Edward, she merely sat by Vernon's side and slipped her arm through his.

They were eating now, and Lily was convinced that if she always had a bite of food in her mouth, she would be able to avoid conversation with him. She was now more stuffed than the turkey and her plan was failing.

"So where do you go to school, Lily?" Vernon asked after a lull in the debate about the stock system.

"I go to a boarding school up in Scotland," Lily replied, ignoring her sister's sharp look of warning.

This started a whole new tirade about some boarding school called 'Smeltings Academy' that was apparently all the rage among the academic community.

"Does your school have a particular focus in any area of study?"

Lily was just hoping that someone would save her from having to come up with a decent enough lie when the doorbell rang.

"Ooo carolers!" Lily exclaimed, jumping up from her seat, and discarding her napkin on the table. "I just love Christmas carolers, don't you?"

High tailing it to the front door, and reasoning that listening to the carolers was a better fate than listening to Vernon, she wrenched the door open without first checking the peephole.

She recognized the woman on the front porch immediately, but the lines in her face seemed even more pronounced than they were last night when she'd come to collect Sirius.

"Mrs. Potter," Lily said, surprised. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

"No, dear." The woman smiled sadly. "I'm afraid everything isn't alright. May I come in?"

Worry churning in her gut and terrible thoughts racing through her head, Lily stepped back to let Mrs. Potter cross over the threshold.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt your Christmas, but something has happened," Mrs. Potter sighed. "Monty got word an hour ago that Lola and Alejandro Fernández were found murdered in their home with their youngest son, Luis."

Lily felt light headed immediately, and she stumbled back into the wall.

"No," she breathed. "But—but Ailana… is she—where's Ailana? Is she okay?"

"She's fine, dear," Mrs. Potter soothed, reaching out to touch Lily's shoulder. "She was out with her older sister, Maria, when it happened. They're at Potter Manor now, with us."

Lily raised a shaky hand to her mouth as a tear ran down her cheek. Ailana's parents. Her little brother, only six years old. She couldn't imagine what her best friend was going through right now. The only clear thought in Lily's head was that she needed to be with Ailana now—help her through the immense grief she must be feeling.

"Can you take me to her?" Lily asked, already thinking of ways she'd get there if Mrs. Potter said no. Luckily, she said, "Yes," and Lily was already dashing back into the dining room.

Her mother took one look at her face and was immediately on her feet.

"What's wrong, Lily?" her mother asked. "You look as pale as death. Who was at the door?"

"It's Ailana," Lily said. "I have to go to her, now. Please, Mother."

"Oh, it's Christmas, love," her mother sighed. "Why don't you wait until tomorrow?"

"Because her parents are dead, Mum," Lily said, another tear slipping down her cheek. "And her little brother. I have to go, she needs me, Mum."

Her mother gaped a little, at a loss for words.

"Mrs. Potter is here to get me, that's who was at the door," Lily explained.

"Good heavens," Rose said, pulling Lily into a hug that she gratefully sunk into. "Yes, go. Be with her. Just come back tomorrow in time for us to go to your aunt's, alright?"

Lily nodded and ran back out to Mrs. Potter, grabbing her jacket off the hook as she did and hastily stuffing her feet into her boots. Within minutes, she was Apparated into the foyer of what she assumed was Potter Manor. She didn't even have time to admire the home as she was led through the seemingly endless halls towards Ailana. Finally, she was directed to a closed door and told that Ailana was inside.

Lily knocked twice, but didn't receive an answer. Slowly, almost scared of what she'd find on the other side, she opened the door. All she saw was a lump on the large bed in the corner. Soft light was drifting through the curtains and illuminating the room just enough for Lily to make her way towards her friend.

"Ailana?" Lily whispered.

The figure on the bed sat up. Lily had never seen her best friend's hair quite so mismanaged. Ailana's eyes were rimmed in red, her face a splotchy mess, and she was clutching something small in her right fist.

"Lily? What're you doing here?" Ailana sniffled.

"Mrs. Potter came to get me," Lily informed, still whispering. "She told me what happened. Ailana… I'm so, so sorry."

All Ailana did was nod over and over before she let out a sob and squeezed her eyes shut. Lily, paying no mind to the holiday dress she was wearing, climbed into bed next to her friend and pulled her taller frame into her chest. It was hard for Lily not to cry alongside her when Ailana's wracking sobs tore through Lily's heart. They were the cries of utter despair, and Lily could think of nothing to say that would alleviate her friend's pain.

So she just held Ailana until her friend drifted off to sleep.

.:..:.

It was almost midnight when Lily finally extricated herself from Ailana's sleeping grip and tiptoed out into the hallway. She was closing the door quietly behind her when someone called her name.

"Lils, hey," James greeted. "My mum told me you were here."

Fiddling with her hands, Lily shrugged and gave a curt nod.

"How is she?" James questioned.

"She won't stop crying," Lily breathed, her voice cracking. "I—I don't know—I feel helpless, James."

The hands she'd brought up to wipe away the tears that slipped past her lashes hid James's next action from her. Next thing she knew, he had wrapped both of his arms around her shoulders and pulled her securely into his chest. Lily started crying in earnest now—shedding tears for her friend's pain. It was minutes before she registered James's soothing hand rubbing circles into her back, and the cheek he had pressed to the top of her head.

When she realized how tightly she was clinging to his sides, she let go and blushed, but James wasn't lowering his arms or allowing her to take a step back. She looked up at him, and saw his face inches from her own—so close that she could see the golden flecks in his hazel eyes. Her blush spread to her ears and she spoke her next words to his chest, avoiding what she'd seen in that stare.

"I'm sorry, for the, uh… slobber," she mumbled. "Um—do we know what happened? Who did it?"

James did step back then, but it was only to grab her hand and lead her further into the maze of hallways that made up Potter Manor. It was only a few turns this time, however, before they came to an open sitting room with a crackling fire. Sirius was sat on the couch, and he jumped to hide the bottle in his hand before he realized who had actually entered the room.

"Hey, Red," he welcomed, raising the bottle in her direction. "Heard you'd been sniffing about."

James quickly dropped her hand then, as if just consciously realizing that he'd grabbed it in the first place.

Her hand felt strangely cold without it.

But she strode to Sirius and collapsed next to him, holding her hand out for the Firewhiskey her friend was clutching. As she took a swig, James sat on her other side. She handed him the bottle next.

"So?" she prompted, having been sitting in silence for a whole minute.

"Apparently it was Death Eaters," James informed. "They don't know for sure who, but the Dark Mark was over their house when Ailana and Maria got back from their grandmother's."

"They were lucky that they weren't home when it happened," Sirius added. "Extremely damned lucky."

"Do we know why though?"

"Her parents were part of the Order," James said.

"The Order?" Lily questioned.

"It's something that Dumbledore organized, apparently," Sirius said. "I overheard Mia and Monty talking about it after the Aurors brought Ailana and her sister here. It's some secret club for fighting off Voldy that apparently we're not allowed to join."

"We are underage," Lily reminded.

"Yeah, but I don't have any legal guardians, so who's gonna stop me?"

James chuckled. "Don't let Mum or Dad hear you saying anything like that. They'll go mental."

They went quiet again, and Lily felt her body settle for the first time in hours. She heaved a sigh and dropped her head to Sirius's shoulder. She didn't know how she was supposed to act around her friend anymore. Lily couldn't decide if it would be better if she allowed Ailana to come and talk to her when she was ready, or to try and get Ailana to talk about it as soon as she could.

Based on the years of friendship that Ailana and Lily shared, Lily knew that Ailana hated when she's pushed, but she also knew that Ailana was usually better off after she's confided in a friend. But this was a whole other matter entirely. This wasn't Lily baiting her best friend to rant after a particularly testy Quidditch match.

Lily closed her eyes.

"What do we do now?" James asked.

Lily, without opening her eyes, placed a hand on James's thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Hell if I know, Potter," she said.

.:..:.

The first thing Lily noticed was that her pillow was moving. The second thing she realized was that it wasn't a pillow at all, but rather James Potter's chest. Her body immediately tensed, but then his arm tightened around her shoulders and she found herself relaxing against her better judgment. His pine and wood smell was calming, and oddly familiar.

The third thing Lily noticed was Sirius Black's arm curled around her legs. His head was pillowed on her hip, and Lily did not envy the crick that was surely in his neck.

The last thing Lily noticed was that this couch was definitely not big enough for three sleeping teenagers.

Groggily, Lily started tapping Sirius on his head until he started groaning.

"Stop it," he mumbled, not releasing his hold on her.

Somehow, Lily turned onto her back, her dress twisting around her torso and both boys tightening their hold on her. Sirius was firmly wrapped around her middle, and Lily was glad for the blanket covering her as the hem of her dress had climbed to her naval overnight.

"Well don't you guys look comfortable," a man said, his voice low. A tall man, his buzzed hair shot through with grey and his skin three shades darker than even his son's, came into view around the end of the couch. He looked serious, and Lily couldn't help but be a little intimidated by him. But then he smiled and his dark eyes twinkled, and all she could see in his expression was James's face. She gave him a half-smile back.

"I've had better sleeping arrangements," Lily quipped.

"I've never met two boys who enjoyed cuddling more than these two." He smiled. "James used to cling to anyone that came near him when he was little."

The man then extended both his arms and gave her an encouraging nod. Somehow, she extracted the arm that was pressed against James's side, and was pulled upright with the help of the older gentleman. Both James and Sirius released noises of discontent when James's father pulled her to her feet, but Sirius just threw his arm around James's waist instead and they both kept sleeping. Lily surreptitiously adjusted her dress and used the blanket to cover Sirius. James's father grabbed another blanket off an arm chair and spread it over his son, making sure to tuck it away from Sirius's face.

Once they were in the hallway, he introduced himself.

"My name's Monty," he said, clasping one of her hands in both of his.

"I'm Lily," she replied, not being able to help the smile she gave him.

"Oh, I know who you are, dear." He laughed, releasing her hand and motioning for her to walk beside him. "Lily Evans. The woman that's bewitched my son."

Lily looked at her feet and blushed.

"I'm sorry, I see I've embarrassed you," Monty said.

"No!" Lily denied, even though she was feeling as if she'd like to melt into the paintings on the walls. "No, you haven't embarrassed me."

"Well," he said, leading her into a kitchen, "why don't we get some food in you before I take you home, yeah?"

She took a seat on a barstool and shivered, the cold metal of the stool causing goosebumps to erupt on her bare arms and legs. Monty apparently noticed everything because he said: "There's a sweater on the table there, if you'd like it? It'll be a little big on you, but it'll warm you up well enough."

Lily gratefully pulled the jumper on over her wrinkled dress. She knew immediately that it was James's and had to resist the urge to bury her nose in the soft fabric.

"Thank you," Lily said, both for the sweater and the steaming cup of tea he'd just placed in front of her. As Lily watched him cook, she realized that she didn't feel as weird calling James's father by his given name as she did his mother. Maybe it was because she saw more of James in his father than she did in Mrs. Potter. It was almost like she was looking into the future—looking at a picture of James forty years from now.

If she were being truthful, it wasn't too bad an image. In fact, Mrs. Potter was a very lucky woman.

"How is your family, Lily? And James tells me that you have a sister?" he inquired.

"My family's good. Spending Christmas with them is always good—my favorite time of year to be around them, actually." She huffed a laugh. "Although my sister might tell you otherwise. I'm sure Christmas is her least favorite time of year because she has to see me."

"I'm gathering that you don't get along?" he said, opening a cabinet and pulling out some spices.

"That's one way to put it," Lily murmured.

"My brother and I used to fight all the time," Monty began, and she could practically feel the 'dad speech' coming on. "I remember—ha! —I remember we used to drive my mother up the walls with our bickering. One time, Charlus wanted to bring home a girl for dinner, and I teased him mercilessly about it. She was a Muggle that he'd met when studying in America, and he hadn't told her about magic yet. Now my sister—Merlin, she was a firecracker if there ever were one. Well, the first thing Dorea did when my brother and his girl walked through the door was vanish their coats and levitate them drinks, all the while pretending not to notice Sarah's dumbstruck expression. I took the blame, of course— told Charlus that I made Dorea do it. My mother spent the night patching both of us up after we'd dueled."

"Even as you talk about fighting with your brother, I can hear it in your voice how much you love him," Lily replied.

"Yes, I loved him," Monty replied, and there was sadness in his voice now. "He and his wife Sarah have long since passed. What I'm attempting to say, is that you should cherish the time you have with family."

Lily appreciated what he was trying to tell her, and she didn't have the heart to do anything but nod. It wasn't her that was fueling her and Petunia's budding estrangement, after all.

"Do you have plans for New Year's Eve?" he asked, now chopping potatoes into small squares.

"No, my family usually spends it watching the New Year's programs on the telly," Lily replied.

"Well, every year, my family throws a party," Monty said, looking at her slyly. "It's really an excuse for us to get dressed up and drink expensive champagne with our friends, but it's always a nice occasion. You and your family should join us this year."

"Oh, I don't know," Lily replied. "My sister hates magic, and I'm sure shoving her into a room with a bunch of wizards isn't the way to remedy that feeling."

"Well, tell your family that you've been invited, anyway," Monty insisted. "Or I might have to whip out my good cloak and charm your unsuspecting mother into agreeing."

God, he really is James's father, isn't he? Lily thought.

"I'll tell them," Lily said, laughing and rolling her eyes at his back.

"Good," he said, turning and placing a plate teeming with eggs and potatoes on the counter in front of her.

She gratefully dug in and they ate together in companionable silence. A short while later, Mrs. Potter walked in. The woman greeted Lily warmly and with a smile, and she placed a kiss on each of her husband's cheeks before stealing the fork from his hand and helping herself to the last of his breakfast. The look that Monty gave her then was so full of affection that it almost made Lily blush, and she excused herself quickly.

"I'm going to go look in on Ailana before I go," Lily informed. "Any help navigating?"

"Three lefts and a right, dear," Mrs. Potter said.

Following their directions, she easily found the correct hallway, but then she had four doors to choose from. Of course, Ailana and her sister were in the last room that she checked. They were asleep, curled towards each other in the middle of the bed, and neither of them stirred when the door creaked, so Lily let them be and silently closed the door—vowing to write often and attempt to see her again before term started back up.

Her trek back to the kitchen was slow and meandering. The few portraits on the walls eyed her as she passed, and she tapped her fingers along the tables. There was a lot of light and Lily was too busy looking up to the ceiling, in search of the source of said light, that she ran right into James as she turned the corner—or rather, James barreled into her, as a turtle could've outpaced her.

She stumbled back, and was honestly perfectly capable of keeping her footing despite what James apparently thought as he smacked one hand to the wall and fisted his other in the jumper she was wearing. There was also the distinct possibility that he grabbed onto her not to stop her fall but rather to prevent his own tumble to the carpet.

"Woah, you okay?" Lily asked, placing a steadying hand on his shoulder as he straightened out.

"That's mine," is all he said and Lily's eyebrows furrowed, thinking he'd hit his head. Then his warm hand slowly ran down her side and she became even more confused, but it became much harder to process her confusion, as there were more prominent feelings circling her at the moment.

Her mind was zeroed in on the solid weight of his hand on her hip and it seemed impossible to her that that was their only point of contact because it felt like that touch was everywhere.

"What?" was the only word that she managed.

"The sweater," he replied, his voice lower than usual.

Oh. "Your dad said I could borrow it. I hope that's okay! I mean, I ran out of my house so fast that I didn't think about bringing anything—let alone clothes. And I didn't really expect to stay the night—really my whole plan to–"

"Lily." He laughed lightly, finally drawing his hand away from her and stuffing them both in his pockets. "It's okay, of course you can have it."

"Have it?" She smirked.

He cleared his throat and averted his eyes before continuing. "I mean—yeah. I-It looks… um… well, you look good in it. I mean it looks good on you—the jumper that is. It's just the color. It—uh—suits… you. Merlin, I'm gonna shut up now."

Lily's blush had spread from her face to her neck and chest, and she felt way too hot to warrant the sweater but damn her if she was going to take it off now—not when it made him this flustered (she decided to ignore her own lack of composure at the moment).

"Well, thank you," she said, surprised that her voice was clear. "Your dad's about to Apparate me home, so I can give this back now if you want?"

She was fingering the hem of the sweater and hoping he'd say no, but feeling as though she had to ask or it would've been awkward—at least more awkward than what was currently happening.

"No, don't worry about it," he said, his lips curling into that soft smile that always went straight to her heart.

As he held out his arm, gesturing in the direction of the kitchen, they locked eyes. It was only for a second, no longer than the length of time to draw in a breath, but what she saw in his eyes was reflected in her own.

It scared her, but the sheer thrill of it made her breath catch.


so the flashback scene in the middle of this chapter is almost taken directly from chapter thirty-three, 'a prince's tale' in deathly hallows. i finagled it a little to make it fit my needs, (canon? i don't know her?) but most of the dialogue is taken directly from the novel.

also, i'm making the assumption that everyone eats holiday dinners at weird times just like my family.

and would you look at that. charlus is his brother, who knew? this seemed as good a place as any to name-drop james's middle name. and i'm blatantly ignoring that dorea was a black, not a potter, that she and charlus were apparently married because f*ck canon.

next chapter is, of course, a new year's ball because a fanfic is not complete without that.