lily's mother gets a pov this chapter, i hope everyone likes it bc it was really fun to write an "outsiders" pov.


.: Chapter Sixteen: New Year's Part Two :.

"True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does." – Kissing a Fool

Staring at the string lights dangling from the trees in the Potter's backyard, and at the multitude of people mingling through the waist-high hedges, Ailana finally admitted to herself that they did not seem real—it almost as if she were watching the night play out like a Muggle picture-show. Those small white bulbs, charmed to shine bright all night, provided a sharp contrast to the darkness that was swirling around inside of Ailana—just like they stuck out of the darkness of the almost-midnight sky. Everything around her still felt as if it were moving in slow motion—the partygoers voices sliding through her ears like sludge.

She hadn't spoken all night. Hadn't wanted to, really, as there'd been nothing substantial she felt like saying.

She knew that coming to this New Year's Party was going to be a mistake—that she was going to regret getting out of her bed and walking down the stairs. Though her sister—my only remaining family, she thought—had talked her into attending, and who was Ailana to think she could say no to Maria? Her sister, who wasn't feeling particularly festive either, had done much of the same as Ailana at this party—hiding away, crying in different corners of Potter Manor as happy families mingled around her.

This was actually the first time that Ailana had ventured out of her room in the guest quarters of Potter Manor since she'd arrived a week previously. Everything had seemed too loud—too homey and too loving and too separate—for her to fit in properly. Didn't anyone know what had happened? How could they have their too-large smiles plastered on their faces when her life was in shambles? How could they dance and laugh when nothing would ever be the same again?

Per the dress code of the evening, Ailana had shucked off her leggings and jumper and traded them for the 'party outfit' that her sister had dug up. Sitting on the patio, Ailana wore black slacks and a black button down with red thread, having no fancy dresses or proper wizarding dress robes that she could've donned. The clothes she wore tonight were entirely Muggle, and if she thought too long on why she owned Muggle clothing, she'd think of her brother. She'd think of how her family was attempting to integrate him into the Muggle community as easily as possible because, as a squib, he would be more welcomed there. If she thought too long on it, she'd remember that her brother was gone—that all of their careful and loving preparations were for nothing.

Everything was for nothing.

Ailana finished the glass of champagne that her sister had plied her with and vacated her chair in search of a different dark corner or abandoned room, needing to be alone—or rather, more alone than she already was.

Sequestering herself in a dim corner—hidden behind yet another tastefully decorated pine tree—she hunched over. Ailana pressed her hands against her sides, pushing as if she could somehow fit her ribs back into their proper place. She then placed a hand against her heart, feeling its erratic heart beat—thump, thump-thump, thump, thump-thump-thump—and clapped a hand over her mouth, afraid that she would vomit.

Would this ever end? Would she ever feel normal again?

"Ailana?" a soothing voice inquired. Someone began rubbing small circles into her back in a valiant attempt at comfort. How would she tell this kind-hearted stranger that no one brought her comfort anymore?

"It's okay, just breathe," instructed the stranger—but it wasn't a stranger, and Ailana recognized the other person as soon as the simple black ballet flats came into view.

Ailana knew it was Marlene without even having to stand up and face her. She leaned into her friend, and Marlene accepted her weight easily, wrapping the arm that wasn't around her back around her chest in an awkward hug—that was more support to make sure Ailana didn't fall than anything else. Marlene said nothing else and Ailana was grateful that she wasn't asking any questions—especially the inane ones like 'how are you doing?' and 'can I get you anything?'

Eventually, Ailana straightened out and rested her back against the wall, closing her damp eyes and tilting her head towards the ceiling. Without looking, Ailana fished an object out of her pocket. It was a carved piece of wood—a silver knight atop a brown horse—and Ailana had not parted with it since… since it all happened. For some odd reason, her brother's toy calmed her, almost as if it tricked her brain into thinking that he wasn't really gone and he'd simply asked her to fetch it for him from the other room.

Running her thumb over the small nick atop the knight's helmet—that the poor knight sustained in a heavy battle between the Army of Atlantis and the Marchers of Meridian—Ailana took a deep fortifying breath and finally opened her eyes. There was sympathy and sadness swirling around her friend's eyes when Ailana looked to her. Marlene was holding securely to Ailana's hand, and she gave it a tight squeeze when they made eye contact.

"Have you eaten tonight, Ailana?" Marlene asked, her voice still low and soothing.

"Not yet, no," Ailana replied, forcing herself to speak—to get the words past her chapped lips. "Haven't really felt up to it, if you know what I mean."

"I understand the lack of appetite, but let's get some food in you, okay?"

Nodding, Ailana allowed Marlene to drag her towards the food laden tables. The Potter's had gone all out for New Year's—exactly like they usually did—but it was only this year that Ailana saw it to be excessive. Ailana kept her thoughts on the matter to herself however, knowing they stemmed from sadness and anger rather than truth.

Marlene began filling a single plate full of food, stacking all the comforts on top of each other—pasta, bread, cheese rolls, chips covered in garlic butter and salt. Ailana skipped to the end of the tables and filled two goblets with Butterbeer—knowing that her mother wouldn't want her to have more champagne this soon after finishing a flute of it— "No need to be the drunk woman at the party, Ailana, as it's much more fun to observe the drunkenness of others," her mother would say.

Finding a table towards the back, one safely nestled in the corner, Ailana took a seat—feeling only slightly bad for abandoning Marlene but knowing that her friend knew her well enough to look for her here. Sure enough, Marlene perched on the seat next to her two minutes later, clutching two forks in her hands and politely handing one of them to Ailana.

They ate in silence, and Ailana caught glimpses of Lily, James, Sirius, and Peter dancing in the middle of the ballroom to a Weird Sisters song that, ironically, Ailana hated no matter the mood she was in. It was nearing a quarter to midnight when the plate in front of them was cleared, and Ailana was surprised to see she'd eaten her fair share. As she drained the dregs of her Butterbeer, she could feel Marlene watching her.

"Come on," Marlene said once Ailana looked at her questioningly. Leaving the empty plate and goblets on the table, Ailana found herself, once again, following Marlene out of the ballroom. "I figured you could use a little more silence."

Nodding gratefully, and not even knowing that she'd needed yet another change of scenery as they stepped out of the ballroom, Ailana propped her hip against the wall, facing her friend. They didn't speak as they stood there, just basked in the comfortable silence that permeated the air. Eventually, classical music began tinkling out of the ballroom, the band apparently having retaken their places on the dais.

"Thank you," Ailana whispered, looking up at her friend. "Thank you for just being here, and for not forcing me to talk."

"Of course," Marlene replied, her voice equally as soft. "That's what I'm here for."

The delicate smile that curled around Marlene's pink-painted lips sent a little jolt through Ailana. All of Marlene was delicate, actually—all tender grace and soft skin and gentle lines. Looking at Marlene now—clad in billowy layers of pink silk and her hair curling crazily behind her ears—Ailana felt excessively dark in contrast. Not only because she wore all black, but because she felt as if her soul was just as dark.

"You look very pretty tonight, Marley," Ailana complimented, stating it baldly like the truth that it was.

"Thank you," Marlene said, blushing like she usually did after a compliment flew her way.

It was then, as Ailana heard the crowd inside start counting down, that she realized she could use some of that light at the moment. Ailana jumped the gun a little, and when the crowd began the ten second countdown to the New Year, Ailana surged forward and caught her friend's lips between her own.

Marlene stiffened immediately, but some innate part of Ailana knew that the stiffening was from surprise and not dislike—or worse, disgust. It took Marlene all of half a second before she began tentatively kissing Ailana back. Ailana pushed Marlene back against the wall and a breathy sound escaped her as her back hit the wood. Stepping closer so their chests brushed, it was Ailana's turn to let out a sigh. Clasping her cheek in a slightly clammy palm, Ailana ran her tongue over the seam of Marlene's lips and then threaded her fingers through Marlene's hair—one hand having not left Marlene's hip since this all began.

Ailana was almost completely lost in the sensation of Marlene's soft lips against hers, but she pulled back with a sharp gasp when she heard the crowd's volume increase from inside as they reached the final three beats of the countdown

"Oh my Godric," Marlene breathed, almost too softly for Ailana to hear.

Shock then rippled through Ailana in a hot wave. She couldn't believe she'd just done that, that she had just used one of her friends because she'd felt lonely and sad and in need of comfort.

"I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did that." Ailana stepped back, running a shaky hand through her hair. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

Ailana turned and ran back through the ballroom, seeking someplace she could duck out of sight and avoid the humiliation that was sure to follow when Marlene told her not to do that again. Dashing through the crowd of people yelling "Happy New Year!" and kissing each other on the cheeks, Ailana dove behind a curtain and stumbled head first into two people. Ailana shouted in surprise at the sudden presence of others in this small alcove and then exclaimed again when she realized it was James who had caught her and Lily who was looking at her in concern.

"Good Lord, you scared me half to death, Ailana," Lily gasped. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, where's the fire?" James asked, his voice extremely hoarse.

Noticing the red of Lily's cheeks, the proximity of her two friends, and the more than usual disheveled-ness of James's hair, Ailana groaned then promptly burst into tears.

"You guys were kissing, oh, Merlin, I'm so sorry—I interrupted your first kiss," Ailana cried, ignoring the shocked look on Lily's face at the abnormal amount of tears now on Ailana's cheeks. "And I just ruined a five-year friendship! Then I ruined your five years of tension that led to this moment! Good Godric, someone stun me immediately. Please someone put me out of my misery so I can't do any other idiotic thing."

"Take a breath," Lily instructed, wrapping her much smaller frame around Ailana and squeezing her tightly. "Everything is okay. You've ruined absolutely nothing, and you've interrupted absolutely nothing. We didn't even get to the kissing part, actually, and you're much more important right now."

Processing almost none of that, Ailana let Lily hold her and let James place a heavy, comforting hand on her shoulder.

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"Please, Rose, I insist," Mia said. "I'm appalled that we didn't think of this beforehand! Imagine flying—I mean driving at this hour? I wager those contraptions are dangerous enough in the daylight, so there's no need to make it even more so by operating it in the wee hours of the morning. Especially after a glass of champagne. I don't trust myself to even Floo after a glass of Dom, and all that requires of me is to stand up properly and speak normally." Mia laughed.

It was rather late, Rose mused, trailing along behind Mia Potter as the larger-than-life woman wound through the hallways of her manor, her wand clutched in her hand. This was a new section of the house, Rose noted as they passed by a portrait whose occupant tipped his hat in greeting and winked at her—winked. Most guests had left a half hour after the clock had struck midnight—only a select few continuing to chat around the circular tables—and just when Edward was headed off to fetch their errant red-headed daughter, Mia and Monty had insisted they stay over. Rose had left the decision, ultimately, up to her husband since he would be the one behind the wheel. Edward was happy enough to agree, so long as both daughters were also in agreement, before re-entering the conversation about fishing that he had extricated himself from in order to speak to her. Petunia, though Rose knew her daughter was already completely out of her comfort zone, had been tired enough to concede to staying the night as well.

Rose, having left both Edward and Petunia behind in the ballroom, her husband's tie loosened and her daughter with her head resting on his shoulder, was now in pursuit of Lily in order to assess her thoughts on the matter.

"Goodness," Mia harrumphed. "I should have realized that this is where they'd be. This is Sirius's favorite room in the house."

They had paused in front of yet another solid oak door, but this one was cracked enough that voices were filtering clearly out of it rather than being locked behind the wood as mere murmurs. Rose recognized her daughter's laugh immediately.

"Shall we listen?" Mia asked, waggling her eyebrows conspiratorially. "It's always interesting to hear what our children say when they think we're not listening. And I so rarely get the chance to eavesdrop these days that I'm loathe to pass up this opportunity."

Rose, having never really had the chance to listen in on her daughter and her friends, smiled in agreement. "Only for a minute," Rose said, holding up a single finger. The two women turned towards the door.

"You liar!" a girl shouted through a laugh. "I did no such thing! That was all Lily and you lot know it."

"I take offense to that," her daughter replied. "I never would have done it if I weren't friends with you two, and if anything, you're corrupting the rest of us."

"Oi! You'd all be the most boring Gryffindors to ever grace the hallowed halls of Hogwarts if I wasn't there to, quote, 'corrupt you.' And Sirius is a riot, don't hurt his feelings."

That was James's voice, Rose noted. The boy had a distinct way of pronouncing his H's that set him apart from the rest of Lily's friends.

"Who're you–?"

"All right," Sirius cut her daughter off. "Let's move on before you bore us all with your flirting. It's Remus's turn."

Rose smiled. She heard her daughter's objections, and James's quick response denying anything involving him and her daughter in a relationship, but she also saw the way they had looked at each other earlier—the way their gazes lingered just a bit too long to be considered casual. They reminded her of Edward and herself when they'd first met, actually—all shy glances and accidental touches that weren't really accidental at all.

"Never have I ever gotten a P on a paper," another boy replied—presumably Remus. He had a deep voice, and when he'd first spoken, Rose had been a little surprised. The gentle way he'd shaken her hand and the subtle smirk that had crossed his lips was in steep contrast to the low baritone of his voice.

"Cheap shot!" a girl—maybe Marlene? Rose thought—protested.

"Don't you know this game is supposed to be raunchy?" Sirius asked. "Your pureness is showing Moony! Pick something else!"

Rose and Mia were smiling at each other—though Rose was secretly hoping she didn't find out anything too revealing about her daughter in the next minute. Memories from Rose's own teenage years came roaring back as she listened—she and her friends sitting around an empty bottle of nicked whiskey, she and an old boyfriend sitting in a greasy diner, she and her friends teasing each other 'till the early hours of the morning.

"Okay then," Remus replied. "Never have I ever seen Lily without a shirt."

"Cheap shot!" Sirius repeated, laughing.

"You're drinking?" her daughter asked, exasperation leaking into her voice. "When have you seen me without a shirt?"

"Uh, the dress fitting?" Sirius informed. "Remember you gave me your doe eyes—practically pleading with me not to leave you alone with the Russian pin lady—and then you put the dress on… Nice birthmark on your belly, by the way."

"Sirius Black!" her daughter shouted, laughing. There was a muffled grunt and the distinct sound of someone getting whacked with a pillow. "You said you wouldn't look!"

"No, I said I wouldn't ogle! And I didn't!" Sirius defended. "And when I told you that story, Remus, I didn't expect it to be used as ammunition against me."

"Stop being a drama queen," her daughter drawled. "You would have to drink either way. I still can't get over how you saw me naked."

"You were not naked. You definitely had a bra on and you were very efficient with putting that dress on… I was actually a little impressed," Sirius trailed off, his voice whimsical. "And I don't know who you think I am, Red, but I have never once gotten a P on a paper."

Mia and Rose were both giggling quietly now at the sheer affront in Sirius's tone.

"Weirdly, I believe you," Lily replied, and Rose could hear the smile in her daughter's voice. It lightened her heart to picture it. "Wait. Do I have to drink? How is that fair? It's my own body! Of course I've seen it without a shirt."

The next seconds of conversation were uttered too low to hear, but then her daughter's voice broke the din again. "Whatever, I'll get you all back on my turn."

"We should probably go in now," Rose said. "I'm starting to feel less like a mother and more like a raging gossip."

Mia giggled again and said, "You're right," with a smile.

Announcing their presence with two knocks to the door, Mia breezed into the room and chirped out a jolly "Happy New Year" to the teenagers lounging around on various pieces of comfortable looking furniture. So far, every room that Rose had been in—except the ballroom—was very cozy looking. This whole house, for all its grandiose and obvious wealth, was extremely home-y and every room looked both loved and lived in. This room was no different. There was a cloistering of chairs and sofas angled towards a wooden mantle and a brick fireplace, the hearth crackling with a small fire—and it'd been a while since Rose was in a home that actually utilized the fireplace for anything other than aesthetic purposes. It was a much different sitting room than Rose had grown accustomed to, where the furniture was centered on a television. She could understand why it would be Sirius's favorite.

"Hello, dear," Rose greeted her daughter when Lily looked to her and smiled. "Hello, Lily's friends. Mia has offered to let us stay the night, and I was wondering if you were all right with this, Lily? Tuney wants to leave as early as we can in the morning, but if you're okay with it, your father would really like to avoid the drive tonight."

There was a quick sideways glance, that Rose almost didn't catch, between Lily and James. She suddenly recalled the look on her daughter's face when Rose had seen her and James dancing at midnight—the glint of passion and the slight fear of the unknown reflected in her green eyes. Rose knew, as she watched them sway and spin, that she was watching her daughter fall in love. This ephemeral glance all but proved what she had already suspected.

"Yeah that's okay, I don't mind," Lily assured with a smile.

Rose nodded and then glanced at the glass in her daughter's hand. "That's enough for tonight, though, don't you think?"

Lily flushed and set her drink down on the coffee table in front of her, leaning over James—who was seated on the floor in front of her—to do so.

"You're right, sorry Mum," Lily said sheepishly.

"Oh, don't fret," Rose replied. She then lowered her voice. "I remember what it was like to be sixteen and surrounded by friends. A couple glasses in the safety of a home is all right. I just worry—I'm a mother, and I can't help it."

"Well," Mia spoke up, and Rose turned to see her lovingly brush Sirius's hair out of his face. Rose's heart clenched as she watched the gesture—clenched for the kind woman with the lost hope of having a large family. "I'm going to set up Rose, Edward, and Petunia in the guest wing, and when you lot are ready to turn in, James or Sirius can show you to a room. Sound good, Lily?"

"Sounds perfect, thanks Mrs. Potter," Lily assured.

"How many times must I tell you, darling?" Mia smiled. "Call me Mia."

"I'll do my best," her daughter replied sheepishly.

.:..:.

After collecting Edward and Petunia from the ballroom, and assuring her eldest daughter that, yes, they would indeed leave as early as possible the next morning, Mia showed them the way to the guest rooms. Really, it was an entire wing of guest rooms, and they had the pick of the litter. Practically, Edward and Rose chose the room right next to Petunia—who accepted the night clothes handed to her warily but with a polite smile.

They thanked Mia profusely for accommodating them, and Mia told them she'd have breakfast ready at nine-thirty the next morning—which she said with a smile and a "that way you can sleep in properly." As the door snicked shut behind her, Rose turned to her husband and let out a breath.

"I can honestly say, in all our years of marriage, this was the most bizarre night we've ever had," Rose said, placing her shawl on one of the plush armchairs facing the lit fireplace. (Rose was definitely going to have Edward unblock their fireplace at home and clean out the chimney—she needed a real fireplace again, even if it was smokey and covered her carpet in ash.)

Her husband gave a gruff laugh—the laugh that had first reeled her in all those years ago, and threw his waistcoat on the mattress.

"I'd say it rivals the great sendoff of '43," he replied. "I could've sworn we were headed to the opera."

Rose smiled at the memory and crossed the room to undo Edward's bow-tie. As she did so, she said, "You were lucky I was already your wife. Any woman worth her salt would've been appalled by what happened on that stage."

"Well," he smirked, "I thought she was a lovely dancer. Though the fact there were only other service men in the audience should've tipped me off."

Rose snorted. "Yes, her dancing skills aside, though, at least she didn't pull a wand from under her dress and perform magic. Real life magic, Edward."

"I will give you that," Edward conceded, sinking down to the mattress and pulling her closer—his hands settling firmly on her hips like they always did. "And damn, honey. Watching Lily change that glass into a rabbit… I—well, I have no words. She's amazing."

"It was a bit strange, really," Rose admitted. "I know we send her away every year to a magical school, but seeing her actually do magic made it all the more real. She really doesn't belong in our world, does she?"

"Of course she belongs in our world," Edward assured, leaning up to press a soft kiss to her cheek. She laid a palm on his face and ran her thumb over the scruff of his beard. "It just so happens that we may not fit into hers."

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Sirius watched Mia and Lily's mother whisper to each other as they closed the door behind them. He was completely lost in his thoughts—though he wasn't really thinking of anything in particular—so he didn't hear the next pronouncement of 'never-have-I-ever', he just saw Remus, Peter, and James lift their drinks to their lips.

"I imagine if you lot are drinking that means I should too," Sirius said, taking said drink. "Why am I drinking?"

"Because you've participated in a prank at Hogwarts," Lily announced.

"Posh, that was the cheapest shot yet," Sirius argued.

"If I had to drink because I've seen my own body naked, then you have to drink right now." Lily punctuated this statement with a stern finger pointed in his direction. She had officially reached her drunk stage—actually, she had crossed that milestone about twenty minutes before her mother walked in the room, yet she was still managing to hold it together fairly well.

Before Sirius could retort that he had to drink because of that as well, loud laughter from Peter scattered his concentration. His concentration was then scattered for a completely different reason when Remus's palm wrapped securely around his neck and pulled him in to whisper in his ear.

"New plan," Remus said, his breath against his skin like a hot iron. "Lily wants Ailana more involved, so we're targeting her."

"Mh-hm," Sirius mumbled, unable to say anything else without the threat of sounding idiotic.

Sirius, ever since telling James that he was gay, had been over-analyzing everything that Remus had been doing. Like now, how Remus's hand lingered on his neck a couple seconds after he pulled away. James had gotten into his head, saying that Remus was sending out feelers—that he was as interested in Sirius as Sirius was in him. While keeping this hopeful and admittedly wonderful thought on one shoulder, James's inability to woo Evans made Sirius doubt the validity of his observations.

"Never have I ever spoken Spanish," Remus said, kicking things off.

Ailana drank, but so did Marlene.

"Never have I ever been a Beater on a Quidditch team," Lily added.

Ailana drank, but so did Sirius.

"Never have I ever been skinny dipping," Lily piped in again.

Ailana drank.

"Never have I ever been to Spain," James said.

Ailana drank.

"Never have I ever drank chardonnay from 1938 under the big oak tree by the Black Lake." Lily looked mightily proud of herself for this one.

Ailana drank, but punctuated this sip with a glare.

"Never have I ever kissed a boy," Ailana said before Lily could begin again, pointedly attempting to get Lily to drink, having caught onto the rouse and knowing it was all her doing. Lily rolled her eyes and took a tiny sip of the champagne that James had snatched from the ballroom. Sirius looked around at his friends, at the subdued, absent-minded smiles on their faces, and an odd sense of calm settled over him. He raised his flute to his lips and took a sip.

Ailana zeroed in on this motion, and her eyes became the most animated that he had seen since the loss of her family.

"Who?" she demanded, pointing at him. "How did I not know this?"

Steeling his nerves, Sirius answered, "Remember William Michael? The seventh year that graduated last year?"

"Really!" Ailana shouted, leaning forward in excitement.

"I'm jealous, he was cute," Lily said, frowning in mock sadness and tipping her head over one of the armrests—her hair dangling like liquid fire and, having come undone from its pins, almost reaching the floor.

"Yeah, he was pretty 'cute'," Sirius conceded, grimacing slightly at the language. Sirius would describe him more as handsome—ruggedly handsome, if he were honest—as there hadn't been a single 'pretty' feature in him. William had been all angles and solid lines, and though that'd been nice at the time because there was absolutely no mistaking any part of him for feminine (good for both his ego and his eventual acceptance of himself), Sirius found he ended up being a bit… too much. Too many angles, and too solid of lines. Now, Remus on the other hand...

"Wait…" Peter said, unknowingly interrupting Sirius's more than PG thoughts about a certain green-eyed, long limbed boy. "You kissed a bloke?"

"Catch up, Wormy," James said, snapping his fingers. "That's why he drank."

"Duh!" Lily said, her eyes still closed.

"Okay, wait…" Peter repeated. "That means you like boys? Like… romantically?"

"Yeah, Pete," Sirius said, nodding his head. He could feel Remus's eyes boring into him and he turned to look at him as he finished his statement. "I like boys."

Sirius locked eyes with Remus, and he couldn't help but smile in relief when he saw the understanding—and, dare he say, excitement—in Remus's eyes. He was so focused on those dancing green eyes that he barely heard Peter say, "That's cool, mate."

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Lily was feeling distinctly fuzzy. She wasn't drunk drunk—she knew this from her more than blurry experiences of actually being drunk, though she would admit she was drunk a half hour ago—but the warmth still spreading through her chest as she ran her fingers along the walls of Potter Manor was undeniable. James was trailing somewhere behind her, holding her heels in his hand and probably looking completely adorable.

Lily felt even more fuzzy the longer she thought about James. She couldn't believe how close they'd come to kissing. His lips had only just brushed hers when Ailana had blown into the room like a tornado. She could feel the ghost of that touch—the whisper of that warmth—all the way to her toes. She turned to look at him, walking backwards so steadily that her buzzed mind was proud of her for it.

"You," Lily said, pointing at him, "almost kissed me tonight."

"I did," James said, his eyes flicking to her lips for a moment. "Though I never thought I'd say that I was just as satisfied kissing your cheek as I would've been kissing your lips."

"You're very forthcoming when you've got alcohol running through your veins," Lily pointed out.

"Eh," he shrugged, "I'll fret about everything I've said the next time I have an existential crisis—you know, like a normal person."

Lily laughed.

"I want you to kiss me now," Lily said, stopping dead in the hallway and looking up at him.

He leaned forward and pecked her quickly on the nose, so fast that she giggled.

"Wrong place," Lily breathed between giggles.

He pressed another quick kiss to her cheek and she giggled some more. She stepped into the circle of his arms and wrapped her hands around his biceps—holding him steady and smiling up at him.

"Try again," she said.

A kiss to her other cheek.

"Nope."

He began peppering her face with kisses—her left temple, her right cheekbone, her right eyelid, her left eyelid, her forehead, her left cheek—before slowing his movements and pressing lingering, open mouthed kisses down the left side of her neck. She gave a breathy gasp and gripped his arms a little tighter, tilting her head back to grant him better access, when he paused on her pulse point. She was hot all over, her skin flushing crimson, and she was pleased to realize he was breathing just as heavily as she was.

"James," she breathed, closing her eyes and sliding one hand up through his hair to hold his head in place. At her small exhalation of his name, his grip on her waist tightened and he pulled her flush against him—her heels that were clutched in his fist now digging into her back. Surprisingly, though, he stopped his ministrations at her exhalation and just lingered by her neck, breathing her in.

"James?" she asked.

He pulled back, but he didn't go far. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers.

"It's late, Lils," he whispered, "and we've had a little to drink."

She frowned, but couldn't help that she felt even more fuzzy towards him at this moment.

"How long must I wait for a proper kiss?" she asked, smiling as she twirled a curl of his hair around her finger.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but how about Hogsmeade?" he asked. "Will you go out with me on the next Hogsmeade weekend, Lily?"

"Hmm," she mused cocking her head to the ceiling. "Well since I have something to look forward to…"

He rolled his eyes and before she could process his movements, he had thrown her over his shoulder. She squeaked in surprise and they laughed together as he carried her down the hallway towards the guest wing. Just before it got to be too much—just before too much blood rushed to her head and the disorientation made her nauseous— he set her right and grabbed her hand. She began swinging the clasped appendages between them as they turned the last corner and made it to the guest wing.

"Yes, James," she said, looking sideways at him and squeezing his hand tighter when she saw the sweet, whimsical smile on his lips. "Yes, I will go to Hogsmeade with you."


how much do you guys hate me? THEY DIDN'T KISS JASDFKSA poor james and his raging case of blue-balls. at least they're officially going to hogsmeade together! i knew how this chapter was going to end YEARS ago when i decided to write this fic while in highschool lol, so my headcanon of james asking her to hogsmeade over and over again was still heavily plaguing my mind. so obviously i had to add that last bit in, for nostalgia's sake.

when i was writing all the soft sapphic moments within this chapter, i felt like a mixture of john mulaney when he says, "i will pepper in the fact that i am gay", and olenna tyrell when she says, "it's the only joy i can find in all this misery."

in contrast, when i was writing all the angsty sapphic moments, i felt like bella swan in her four month depression after edward left her.

i personally love this chapter a lot! these new year's chapters are my favorite that i've written, and i hope everyone else thinks so too. and thank you to everyone who has left a review, and favorited and followed this story-it really means a lot to me that others are enjoying this story. let me know your thoughts :))