I don't own Blindspot or any of these amazing characters…
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"See this was what I was talking about," Reade told Tasha, "Jane was so worried about Breanna and we just let Cade, a former Sandstorm operative, walk off with the one thing that can exonerate us."
"We're going to get it back," Tasha assured him.
"That's not the point," Reade insisted, "Look where we're at. We have had to walk away from everything that mattered to us, lose jobs we worked all our life to get and for what?"
"To stop a monster," Tasha reminded him, "That is our job."
"None of this would have happened if it wasn't for Jane's family vendetta." Reade protested.
"What?" Tasha demanded, "Are you saying you would rather be living oblivious in you're comfortable apartment still the Assistant Director of the FBI and have all these people pulling your strings?"
"No," Reade denied, "That's not what I'm saying…"
"Then what are you saying?" Tasha was incensed.
"I'm saying we need to step back and consider exactly what we're doing. We can't follow Jane blindly any more. Her old contacts are criminals and can't be depended on." Reade argued.
"They can't or she can't?" Tasha demanded.
"This isn't about Jane," Reade denied.
"Are you sure?" Tasha asked bluntly, "You pretty much dumped all the blame on her before."
"I didn't mean all of that," He denied, "I was frustrated and angry at all the secrets."
"Did you ever stop and realize that of everything you found out, the only person that wasn't keeping secrets was Jane?" Tasha pointed out.
"I asked her if Weller was hiding something," Reade argued.
"Oh," Tasha laughed, "You thought she would betray Weller's trust to you?"
"She was protecting herself," Reade argued.
"She was protecting us," Tasha denied, "I talked to Kurt about this…did you?"
"What's there to say?" Reade scoffed.
"Did you know that when Jane found out that she was Weitz's leverage against Kurt, she wanted to turn herself in?" Tasha asked him.
"What?" Reade looked surprised.
"Kurt didn't want to lose her and he knew that if she did that we'd all lose everything. You still wouldn't be the Assistant Director and your three piece suits would more than likely be prison orange." Tasha was all but yelling at him.
"Why didn't he tell me?" Reade asked softly.
"Oh," Tasha said with tone, "I don't know, maybe it was the way you blamed everything on Jane when it all began to fall apart. Excuse me, but weren't you the Assistant Director? Shouldn't you have had some idea what was going on at the NYO?"
"Tasha," Reade looked devastated.
"Look," Tasha relented, "It's not your fault and it's not Jane's either. We went after a very powerful woman and she won, but we're not done yet."
"I better go talk to them," Reade realized.
"I would wait," Tasha insisted.
"Why?" Reade asked her.
"Did you see her face when she found out what Cade was doing?" Tasha insisted, "All she's ever done was try to help him and now that he's turned on her…"
"She's angry," Reade finished for her.
"She's hurt," Tasha corrected. "So far as she knows the only person that really has her back is Kurt. You've made your stance clear and her old associates aren't trustworthy. We might call ourselves a team, but she's been there for us a lot more than we've been there for her."
Read felt the truth of her words sink in and his eyes closed in remorse. You're not a real FBI agent… He never regretted saying anything more.
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"We're going to get it back," Kurt assured Jane. She was lying against his chest playing with his fingers.
"I know," She said quickly. She only did that to reassure him, he realized, not because she believed it herself…
"What's really the matter?" Kurt asked her.
"I thought we were on the verge of fixing everything," Jane admitted, "Now…we're right back where we started."
"It's going to take time," Kurt admitted, "But we will stop her and clear our names."
"In the meantime," Jane whispered, "Bethany has to do without her dad."
"I still get to video call her regularly." Kurt reminded her.
"It's not the same," Jane denied.
"The same as what?" Kurt asked.
"As getting to hold her against you or sing her a song." Jane explained. The longing in her voice easy to hear.
"Jane," Kurt suddenly realized, "Did you want to go with me to talk to her?"
"No," Jane denied, "Us traveling together is just asking for trouble. I understand. It makes sense that you go by yourself."
"She misses you too," Kurt suddenly felt awful. He'd been concentrating so hard on how much he missed Bethany, he hadn't realized just how much Jane missed her too.
"I'm sorry," Jane told him, "I know how it feels to have a child taken away from you, to want to hold them and not be able to."
Kurt felt his eyes fill. In a sense she'd had that happen to her twice. Three times if you counted when she left to protect them.
"She loves you," Kurt tried to reassure her.
"I love her too," Jane admitted, "But I'm not necessary to her. If I disappear from her life, then she'll forget me. If you disappeared, there would be a hole in her heart forever."
"Jane…" The pain in his voice finally penetrated her introspection.
"Kurt," Jane scooted up and kissed his lips, "There is nothing I won't do to get you and Bethany back together."
"We're a family Jane," Kurt reminded her, "Unless it's the three of us, we aren't all together…"
"I know," Was her quick response.
She obviously didn't. How did he rectify this? She'd made huge sacrifices for his daughter. She'd gone off on her own to face an army of faceless assassins, all to ensure he had the time she'd missed with his child. That was his mistake he suddenly realized. He kept thinking of Bethany as his daughter and not their daughter. If this was a child that he and Jane had together, he would have never made this mistake. She more than earned her right to be called Bethany's mom. She'd sacrificed and unconditionally loved Bethany from the first. He'd been selfish and thoughtless…
"Jane…" Kurt needed to find the right words.
"What are we going to do about Cade's demands?" Jane interrupted him.
"I'm not worried about that right now," Kurt insisted sitting up.
"What could possibly be more important?" Jane didn't understand.
"Well," Kurt met her eyes seriously, "The mother of my child needs me."
"Is Allie okay?" Jane's brow furrowed.
"You, Jane," Kurt insisted.
"I'm not the mother of your child," Jane denied, her face red.
"You are," Kurt insisted, "You didn't give birth to her, but you've put her first from the moment she was born. You've protected her and loved her. You're her mother every bit as much as I'm her father."
Jane felt a tear unexpectedly escape.
"Kurt…" She whispered.
"Next time I go for a video chat," Kurt insisted, "You're going with me."
"I thought we decided it wasn't safe…" Jane reminded him.
"That wasn't fair. I'm sorry," Kurt denied, "I kept you from seeing our daughter. I was selfish and stupid. Obviously, you want to talk to her every bit as much as she keeps asking for you."
"She asks for me?" Jane looked surprised.
"Of course she asks for you," Kurt smiled, "She loves you."
"Okay," Jane smiled timidly, "I'll go with you."
Kurt pulled her against his chest and kissed her forehead. He was messing this up, but he would learn what she needed and he would give it to her. No matter what it took…
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Cade paced back and forth nervously as he waited on some kind of response from Remi.
Looking over at the phone he suddenly had a heavy case of remorse. It had been an impulse, one that he mostly regretted, but he couldn't undo it now…
What was taking them so long to respond? He knew they had money…maybe he'd overestimated how much.
He looked out the window silently. He'd trusted her and she'd betrayed him. He rubbed his shoulder where she'd shot him. Now she knew how it felt. He didn't really care about the money. What would he do with it anyway?
He considered throwing the phone away, but couldn't make himself do it. She might have left him to rot, but they'd tortured him for months. He wanted them taken down and he knew she needed the phone to do that.
He looked out the broken window and felt the breeze against his face. He was playing a game he couldn't win against a woman he couldn't beat. It was the most alive he'd felt in years…
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"I didn't mean to shoot you," Patterson stiffened when Nigel spoke from behind her.
"I don't want to do this," Patterson didn't turn around.
"You wouldn't speak to me in holding," His voice was accusing.
"I didn't need to speak to you," Patterson kept typing.
"That's not true," Nigel insisted, "Turning your back on me won't make me stop existing."
"And facing you won't make what you did any less painful." She refuted.
"It might," He argued, "You know I didn't want to hurt you."
"I didn't notice you struggling with your choices," Patterson finally stopped what she was doing and turned to face him.
"I was on a path I'd chosen long before I met you," Nigel argued, "I couldn't just get off the path I was on, no matter how appealing turning my back on Sheppard and the plan was."
"STOP LYING!" Patterson yelled at him, "You make it sound like you're a victim, but you made choices."
"The same choices Jane made," He pointed out.
"NO," Paterson wouldn't let him hide behind that. "She faced the same loss and betrayal, but in the end she chose to be better. She chose to change."
"And where did it get her?" Nigel pointed out as he looked at the abandoned building they were in.
"It got her a family," Patterson said simply. "We would die for her and she would die for us. It got her a husband who would do anything to keep her with him. It got her a step-daughter that loves her like she's her own mother. It reunited her with the daughter Sheppard took from her when she was too young to stop her. But the most important thing was it got us Jane Doe. She was a criminal and we were the FBI, but somehow she made us better."
"Patterson," Jane stood frozen in the doorway with Kurt's hands reassuringly on her shoulders.
"Jane," Patterson looked shocked to see her.
"Did you mean all that?" Jane looked like she was going to cry.
"Yes," Patterson ignored Nigel and moved over to where Jane was standing. "I know we don't tell you enough, but you're amazing and we love you."
Kurt smiled when Jane enveloped Patterson In a fierce hug. "Thank you."
"Thank you," Patterson's arms tightened around her.
She met Kurt's approving eyes over Jane's shoulder.
The smile they shared was an understanding one. They both loved Jane and both knew she was struggling.
Nigel watched silently. There was obviously something more important than revenge. For the longest time that's all he focused on. For a time Patterson had shown him more, but he hadn't been ready to let go of the past. So much had happened in the past few years, he almost didn't remember the man he'd been before. He'd always known Jane was strong, but watching the two women together he suddenly realized that even with all of her memories, she'd made the choice to move on to a better future. Yes, she struggled, but watching her now Nigel had to admit she had a strength he hadn't realized. Suddenly he wanted to start looking for his own future. He knew whatever peace he might one day find, it wouldn't be here. This part of his life was over he needed to stop looking back.
Turning away he left without another word.
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"We can't just pay him," Reade argued, "Can you imagine all the trouble he could cause with ten million dollars?"
"I think we should negotiate," Rich suggested.
"He knows we have money," Tasha reminded him.
"Yes," Rich conceded, "But he doesn't know how much money we have."
"So what do you want to offer him?" Patterson asked.
"Why don't we try a million?" Rich suggested, "That's too much to ignore, but not really enough to take over the world."
"Jane," Patterson looked over at her, "What do you think?"
"I don't think this has anything to do with money," She admitted, "So he'll probably take it."
"If it's not about money, then what's it about?" Reade looked surprised.
"Revenge," Tasha said with certainty.
"Revenge," Jane agreed as she and Tasha shared a look of understanding.
"Against who?" Breanna asked puzzled.
"All of us, everything," Jane explained, "He lost his whole life and he has to live with it."
"What if we gave him his life back?" Patterson suggested.
"How are we going to do that?" Rich asked her.
"What if we find his husband and son," Tasha caught on quickly.
"He didn't want to drag them into all of this," Bordon reminded them.
"You can't make choices for other people," Jane refuted, "They should get to choose who they spend their life with."
"This is risky," Reade warned them, "You know the CIA has eyes on them, especially after Cade's escape."
"I have a way to contact them," Jane admitted.
"What do you mean?" Reade was looking at her strangely.
"After Cade was taken back into custody," Jane admitted, "I found his husband and son. I just wanted to make sure they were okay."
"You've been watching out for them," Kurt suddenly realized.
"Cade's husband was making a lot of waves searching for him. I didn't want the CIA to perceive him as a threat." Jane admitted.
"Does Cade know any of this?" Reade asked her.
"No," Jane denied, "After he said he wasn't going home, I didn't want to make his decision harder. I was going to talk to him about it, but he left before I had a chance."
Reade was looking at the woman he'd blamed for everything and feeling worse with every breath. She was an empathetic woman. He didn't know if people could change or not, but he did know that whatever she was before, she was extraordinary now.
"I didn't mean to keep it from you," Jane looked over at Kurt in concern.
"Its fine," He assured her, "I wished I could have helped you."
"You're the reason for everything I do," Jane assured him, "I wouldn't be Jane Doe without each and every one of you."
"Well," Reade rubbed his neck, "None of us would be alive if it wasn't for you."
Tasha smiled over at him in approval.
Jane doubted that, but smiled without looking at Reade.
It troubled him that she wouldn't meet his eyes. He understood that she was protecting herself, but his chest hurt when he realized she was protecting herself from him.
Kurt placed his arm around Jane protectively and met Reade's eyes. Seeing lingering hostility, Reade knew he couldn't wait much longer to speak his peace. They deserved better than what he'd accused them of and he didn't want to permanently damage a relationship that was important to him. He needed to make this right.
"Did Cade leave a way for us to contact him?" Jane looked over at Patterson.
"Yes," She confirmed, "We have until tomorrow or he destroys the phone."
"I'll contact his husband," Jane turned to go.
Once she was gone Reade walked over to Kurt, "You got a minute?"
Kurt nodded and Reade ushered him to the side of the room.
"I wanted to tell you just how sorry I was," Reade said, his voice ringing with sincerity.
"That's fine," Kurt tried to brush off his concerns.
"It's not fine," Reade denied, "Jane won't meet my eyes and you look like you want to kick my ass."
"What do you want me to say?" Kurt demanded, "After everything my wife has been through in the last few months, you accusing her of bringing down the entire team should be no big deal?"
"Kurt…" Reade tried to intervene.
"In the last two years," Kurt went on as though Reade hadn't spoken, "She's gone on the run from who knows how many assassins to protect my relationship with Bethany. She didn't go to any of us for help because she didn't want to put us in the crosshairs. Then she finds out that she's been tattooed again. Not to mention the person that put the tattoos on her was the brother she still loves, but wants to punish her. Let's not forget holding Roman in her arms while he dies, thinking she was pregnant, having her husband shot, finding out she was dying, reverting back to Remi, undergoing multiple experimental procedures to come back to us, regaining all of her memories, facing all of her past mistakes, being buried alive and, oh yeah, the Assistant Director of the FBI and her friend insists that all of this is her fault."
"I know I was wrong," Reade insisted.
"Well that makes it all fine then," Kurt agreed, "It isn't as though she's already eaten up with regret for the things she's done in the past."
"What can I do?" Reade asked him.
"Give her space," Kurt said immediately, "I don't know how she's as strong as she is, but eventually she's going to break if we keep piling guilt and responsibility on her."
Reade just nodded and Kurt walked away. He had thought clearing the air would fix things, he hadn't realized just how much damage he'd done.
Watching them from across the room Tasha turned to Patterson and they shared a concerned look. This was their family and it was deteriating before their very eyes.
It was time for an intervention…
