Thirty Ninth One Shot:
Heartbroken
Clary POV:
After the worst summer of my life I was ready to focus on something else. I needed a distraction. I don't know how more TV shows I can binge watch on Netflix, or how many tubs of ice cream I can go through before I finally die from inactivity. I had completely shut myself off from the world after it happened. I didn't want to talk, see, or look at people. I knew they would all pity me, and I didn't need that. Getting away was exactly what I needed, this was all my mom wanted for me, and I was going to do it for her.
I had an English 101 class right now and I wasn't too thrilled about it. I didn't mind English but I hated being forced to take a class for no reason. I walked in and took a seat in the back. I pulled out my sketchbook and started doodling. I was completely zoned out when I heard all the females in the room sigh. I only knew one person who was capable of that, and when I looked up, the one and only Jace Herondale was in the room. I knew we both wanted to come here. It's all we talked about when we were freshman. We were excited to be going all the way through school together, and now all I wanted to do was being on a different continent, one that didn't have Jace on it. He saw me and smirked and sat down next to me. I looked back down and continued drawing. He knew better than to disturb me while I was sketching, so he didn't speak, which I was thankful for. Eventually the professor walked in and started taking roll.
"Today we are simply going to partner off and get to know one another." She said. "I have a fish bowl of all your names, I will randomly picked two and that will be your partner." She said and I tuned her out until I heard my name called. "Clarissa Fray, and Jonathan Heronadale." She said and I just I couldn't believe how unlucky I was. I raised my hand immediately to switch.
"Yes?" The professor said called on me.
"Can I be partnered with someone else?" I asked and she looked confused.
"Why?"
"I've known Jace my whole life. I don't need to get to know him." I said and she didn't seem to believe me.
"Really? Prove it." She said as she crossed her arms over her chest. The whole class was staring at us.
"His name is Jonathan but he prefers Jace, he grew up in Brooklyn. His favorite color is gold because he views himself as a 'golden god'." I said and I could see him smirk. "He played football for as long as I've known him, he's the quarterback. He is an only child, and his favorite breakfast food is coconut pancakes." I said as I looked at Jace. "He's majoring in business so that he can take over his fathers company after he's played in the NFL. He's a city boy, but he doesn't want to live in Brooklyn for the rest of his life. When he was 11, he really wanted to own a farm and raise a pig named Cynthia. No idea why." I said and the class laughed. "He's about a foot taller than me, his shoe size is a 10, he plays piano, he's a great cook, his biggest fear is ducks. Do I have to go on?" I said and the professor looked stunned.
"Jace?" She asked after a moment, clearly wanted to know more.
"Her name is Clarissa but she prefers Clary. She's an art major. She wants to own her own gallery one day. She doesn't have a favorite color because artists can't choose favorites." He said and I couldn't stop the little laugh that escaped my lips. "Her favorite breakfast food is also coconut pancakes. She played lacrosse in high school. She's the klutziest person I've ever known. When we were 7, she fell out of our tree house and broke her arm. Her biggest fear is being alone." He said and I sucked in a breath. "Her hair is naturally that color, she's never dyed it. She's a total comic book nerd, she drinks her coffee black, she's not a morning person, she's an only child, her middle name is Adele. Need I go any further?" He said and the professor shook her head.
"The rest of you get to know each other, Jace, Clary, a word." She said and we followed her out of the classroom. "I sense of really strong negative feelings between the two of you. Bad breakup?"
"We never dated." I said. Even though my feelings for him were painfully obvious. "He couldn't hold a girl down even if he tied her to the bed."
"Wouldn't you like to know what that feels like baby." He said and I snorted.
"In your dreams Herondale."
"You always are." He retorted before the professor stepped in.
"Clearly you two have a rocky history. I'm not splitting you two up because I have another assignment for you two. Next class, bring in something that represents why you two have these strong negative feelings towards each other."
"Do I have too?" I asked.
"Yes. You two know so much about each other, yet you hold so much hatred for each other."
"I don't hate her." Jace said. "I never have."
"Well, I hate you." I said and it looked like he had no idea what I was talking about.
"Next class, I want the object. It doesn't have to be elaborated. Just something that symbolizes why you hate him Clary."
"Alright." I said and we made our way back into class.
Time Jump - Next Class
Clary POV:
The object I decided to bring was an old cellphone. It symbolized all the calls I made that he never bothered returning. When I walked into class the professor motions for me to join Jace and her at the front of the room. I walk over and stand as far away from Jace as possible.
"Do you two have class after this one?" She asks and we both shook our heads. "My office, that's where we'll get to the bottom of this." She said and we nodded and took our seats.
The lesson went by rather quickly. I was dreading this little session I had after class with Jace and the professor. What happened with my mom destroyed me, and Jace didn't even have the decency to call me back. When she dismissed us, Jace and I took our time packing up. We followed her to her office, she closed the door and we took a seat.
"Clearly whatever happened between you two is pretty fresh. I can just see it in how uncomfortable you are sitting here Clary." She said and I shifted in my seat. "Now, on the count of three, I want you to exchange object. One...two...three." She said and Jace and I both pulled out phones. We both reluctantly took the other and looked back at the professor. "Now, at the same time I want you to tell each other what it symbolizes. One...two...three."
"You never called." We said at the same time and my jaw hit the floor.
"So you're upset you never stayed in touch?" She asked and I think I was still too stunned to answer so Jace spoke.
"Junior year I was recruited by a private school in California for football and I jumped at the opportunity. I expected us to stay in touch. But football got crazy, and I never had enough time, but she never called me." He said and that seemed to snap be back to reality.
"Are you kidding me?" I seethed and he looked confused. "This has got to be a joke. I'm being punked right?"
"No." the professor said. "This is all real."
"Well, I'm not going to sit around and listen to this anymore." I said as I grabbed my bag and left. The nerve of him to say that to me. He never called ME. Not the other way around.
It was a Friday so after class I jumped in my car and went home. I didn't even want to chance running into Jace after what he said. I couldn't believe him. The nerve of him. It took about an hour to get home. When I pulled up in front of my house I sighed. Since I was 18 when my mom died I didn't need someone there for me. My father has been in jail since I was 4, and my mom never remarried. Luke was my neighbor and he was the closest thing I had to family around here anymore.
Izzy and Simon went traveling after high school. They wanted to take a year and explore, and I couldn't blame them. Being stuck in Brooklyn your whole life can be depressing. Alec had graduated already and lived with his fiancé somewhere in the city. I kept in touch, but our lives were at two separate places. When I walked in, the house was exactly the same. I took a deep breath trying not to cry. I went up to my moms room, laid on her bed and let it all out. Seeing Jace again, after two years was more overwhelming than I thought it would be. He broke me. When the one person you want in the world isn't there for you, there really isn't anything they could do that can make up for it.
Time Jump - Two Months Later
Clary POV:
The professor hasn't tried to have Jace and I talk it out since I stormed out of her office that day. I was grateful for that. I couldn't even look at him without wanted to smack him upside the head with my textbook. Jace has tried to talk to me a couple times but I ignore him. I can't do it. I can't sit there and listen to him when he completely ignored me.
Friday rolled around and I was planning on going home to visit my mom. Her birthday was tomorrow and I can't miss it. I wouldn't miss it. I was packing up my bag when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and Jace was standing there.
"What do you want Jace?" I asked.
"Why have you been avoiding me?" He asked and I let out a dry laugh.
"Was our last meeting not clear enough?" I said.
"I don't know what happened to us Clary. You were my best friend. You know everything about me, you can make me laugh, and you've always been there for me. What changed?" He asked. He genuinely looked like he had no idea what was going on, which only made me more mad. I opened my bag back up and started searching for my book. When my mom was in the hospital I didn't know how to cope. I didn't want to talk to anyone but Jace, so I started writing it out. When I finally found it I looked back at him.
"You want to know why I hate you so much?" I asked and he nodded. I trusteed the book into his hand. "Read it you piece of shit, and tell me how you think I should feel about you." I said and I stormed away. I never wanted to share that with anyone else, but it was the only way I knew how to make him understand. I got in my car and drive. I blasted the music, and let the loneliness sink in.
Jace POV:
After Clary stormed off I looked down at the book she gave me. On the front it read 'Clary's Journal'. I didn't know why she would give this to me, it seemed so personal, but she told me to read it, so that's what I was going to do. We had a game tomorrow, so tonight I was just chillin.
When I finally got my back to my room that night I pulled the book out. I looked at it for a minute before taking a deep breath and opening it to the first page.
July 12:
I woke up today and my mom was not in her room. I panicked and when I went downstairs she was laying on the floor unconscious. I called 911 and they took her straight to the hospital. I sat in the waiting room for hours before anyone told me anything. I called Jace. I knew it was still early for him, but I thought that maybe he would pick up for me. I guess I was wrong. Finally when a doctor approached me he looked sorrowful. He told me that my mom at advanced stage 4 breast cancer. It had been attacking her organs for months now, and it is far beyond treatment. I don't know what to do. She's all I have left in the world.
I looked over the page again thinking that it was wrong. That whatever was written in here wasn't from Clary, but I recognized her handwriting immediately. This was hers. I could see the tearstains on the page. The writing got sloppy, assuming she was crying while she was writing this, she probably couldn't see through the cloudiness of her tear filled eyes. I took another deep breath before flipping the page.
July 13:
I stayed the whole night at the hospital. My mom was still sleeping, but I didn't want to leave her alone. It was almost lunch time but I didn't want to eat anything. I looked at my phone again, I called Jace again. I left a voicemail this time. Maybe he'll call me back. I really need him. Izzy and Simon offered to come home early from their trip to stay with me, but I wasn't going to let them bail on their travels for me. Alec and Magnus were coming by today, I really didn't want to see anyone, but I couldn't deny them forever. There were two people I wanted right now, one is unconscious, and the other isn't answering my calls. I was alone, and I hated it.
Calls? I never got any calls from her. I never received a voicemail. I would have remembered if I did. There were more stains on this page than the last one. It broke my heart to know that Clary was going through this. Her home life wasn't terrible, but it could have been better. Her father went to prison when she was really young, and that just left her and her mom. They were close. I always remember going over their house and just seeing how much love they had towards one another. Knowing that she was struggling this much killed me. But I never got a call. I never I would have called her back. I turned the page and prepared myself for what I was about to read.
July 14:
She was still unconscious. The doctors didn't know if she would ever wake up. I'm so completely lost and alone and I don't know what to do. I called Jace again. I don't know why he isn't calling me back. I thought we were best friends. I thought he would be there for me no matter what. I know he's busy kicking ass back in California, but I thought I meant something to him. I thought he would never leave me. I guess I was wrong.
How come I never got a voicemail? How come I didn't know. Sure we talked briefly in the two years I was gone. Mostly random text messages, but I was super busy and so was she. If she needed me, and I wasn't there, no wonder she hates me. God, I hate me. Where was I? This was the summer, I was packing to come back, go to school. I was…spending the summer with Kaelie. But she wouldn't, I mean, she couldn't have. I flipped the page and began to read.
July 15:
I haven't eaten in 4 days. I haven't left this room in four days. I probably smell like a homeless person. Jace would have thrown me over his shoulder and forced me to participate in society. He wouldn't let me sulk, but he hasn't called me back. I called again. I left another voice mail. I don't know what I did wrong, but I need him. I need my best friend.
God damn. Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't my parents know what was going on. She kept in touch with the Lightwoods, clearly they knew, but not a word was said to any of us. This page had more tearstains on it. The page was crinkly, and smudged. She was broken, I could tell from how much she cried on this page. My Clary, my best friend was utterly alone, and I had no idea.
July 16:
I don't know what to do anymore. The doctor told me to start saying my goodbyes. To start going back to my normal life. But I don't know what that is without her. I don't know how to live without my mom. She is my whole world, my biggest supported, my inspiration. What is life without her? Izzy and Simon came back last night. Alec called them and told them and they said that they needed to be here with me. I appreciated the kindness, but all I need is my mom. I called Jace again. I knew he wouldn't answer, and I knew leaving a voicemail was pointless, but I was desperate. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted him to tell me it was okay. I wanted him to wrap me in a hug, and hold me while I cried. I sank down in the hallway of the hospital and cried. Izzy found me eventually and tried to console me but it wasn't the same. Nothing would ever be the same.
I don't know when I started crying, but I was. I haven't cried since I was little but here I am, crying because the one girl in my life, who I loved more than absolutely anything was absolutely broken and alone and crying for me and I had no idea. I abandoned her, and she needed me.
July 17:
She's gone.
They were the only two words on the page and I broke. I closed the book and chucked it across the room. Clary was all alone now. Her biggest fear. She didn't have a family, she was her own family, and here I am, confused as to why I never got a call, or why I never received those voicemails. My phone was working, and I was talking to other people, so why wasn't it picking up anything from here? I knew the only way I was going to get answers was to call Kaelie. I dreaded the idea of talking to her again, but I needed to know if she had anything to do with the mysterious disappearing voicemails. It rang a few times before she picked up.
"Jacey, I knew you couldn't stay away." She said and I gagged.
"I have a few questions for you Kaelie, and than I promise I will never call again." I said and she laughed.
"You say that now." She said and I rolled my eyes. "What can I help you with handsome?"
"During the summer, when you invited me to your parents beach house, did I ever get any phone calls, or voicemails perhaps?" I asked and she was quiet, too quiet. "What the hell did you do Kaelie?"
"She deserved it. You're mine." She said.
"Kaelie, did you listen to them?" I asked and she laughed.
"Yea, and she sounded so completely pathetic. I mean, she was begging for you. Begging for what's mine."
"Kaelie, do you even know who that was that called?" I asked.
"No." She admitted.
"She's my best friend. I've known her since I was 5."
"You never mentioned that." She said.
"Why would I? It didn't matter when it came to you. We hooked up for two years Kaelie. We weren't dating. We were just having fun." I said and she gasped.
"I was the best thing that ever happened to you." She said and I laughed.
"No, she was the best thing that ever happened to me. She will always be the best thing that's happened to me, and you completely ruined that." I said and she laughed.
"Serves her right for stealing you from me."
"I was never yours Kaelie. I have always been hers." I admitted for the first time out loud and was kinda shocked.
"You love her?" She asked and I took a deep breath.
"Yes. More than anything." I said.
"You're such an asshole Jace. I'm glad I got rid of those voicemails. I'm glad you never knew how upset she was and how much she needed you."
"Shut the hell up Kaelie. That wasn't your decision to make." I yelled into the phone.
"Yet, here we are. Clearly something is bothering you, did she finally confront you? Her last voicemail was really funny to listen too. She was pissed Jace. You completely shattered her. You missed your best friends mothers funeral, how does that make you feel Jace?"
"You are a sick and twisted bitch, and I hope karma comes back to bit you right in the ass Kaelie." I said and I hung up. I looked at the clock and it was already past 9, I couldn't go home and find her. I had a game tomorrow and I needed to be well rested. I looked at the calendar and noticed that tomorrow was her moms birthday. I don't care what happens, I was going straight home and finding her tomorrow. I needed her to know that I would have dropped everything to be there for her. I starred at the ceiling for hours until I finally started drifting off.
Time Jump – Next Day
Clary POV:
I had to cry myself to sleep last night in order to get all the images of my moms funeral out of my head. I was tossing and turning half the night because of memories and nightmares, and when I woke up and looked at the clock it was almost 2 in the afternoon. I didn't realize how tired I was, and I guess I needed whatever sleep I could get. I got out of bed, made a piece of toast and walked out. I was going to spend the whole rest of the day at the cemetery with my mom. I know it was cold, but I really didn't care. She wasn't spending her birthday alone.
I walked over to her grave, put down a blanket, wrapped the second one around me and just stared at the headstone. It didn't seem real. It never did. No matter how many times I come back here, it felt like it was all going to just go back to how normal it was before. I would wake in the front door and she'd be there painting, or baking, or whatever else she did. I couldn't stop the tears, and frankly I didn't want too. I was sad, and I was lonely, and I was miserable. I hated my life, I hated how it turned out, and I hated waking up every day and pretending that I was fine. I wasn't fine, and I don't think I ever will be.
I was sitting there for who knows how long when the sun started going down and the sky looked absolutely beautiful. I wish I could paint it, and always remember this beautiful moment, until I remembered why I was there in the first place. I smiled a little before turned back towards her headstone.
"I miss you." I simply said as the tears started again. "I don't know what to do without you. I come home and it's completely empty. It's filled with memories of you and they don't even make me happy, they make me cry because now I'm alone. I'm so completely alone mom, and I don't know how to handle it." I started crying harder. "You were my everything, and now I have nothing. I have this giant void in my life, and I can't fill it. I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I can barely take care of myself. I need you. I need my mom." I said and I couldn't continue. I just let the tears consume me. I was sad, and I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Jace POV:
After the game I drive straight to Clary's house. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I needed to be with her. I couldn't let her be alone today. When I pulled into her driveway there was no car. I got out and knocked on her door anyway. There was no answer. I looked in the window but the house looked empty.
"She's not home." I heard and I turned around and saw Luke standing there. "She left hours ago, and hasn't come back."
"Where did she go?" I asked.
"The same place she goes every time she comes home. The cemetery." He said and I took a deep breath. "Where were you Jace? She needed you."
"This girl I was casually seeing out in California erased every voicemail Clary left, and somehow always got the calls before I did. I had no idea Luke. You know I would have dropped everything to be here for Clary."
"I know you would have, you love her too much to ever let her go through something like that alone, but she was. She locked herself in that house for over a month after the funeral. She was hurting, and she thought you had abandoned her."
"I would never do that to her. She's the one who told me to go to California. She was the main reason I went. She believed in me so much, how could I say no? If only I stayed, I could have been here."
"It's too late to change what happened, but its' not too late to make it right." Luke said and I nodded. "Jocelyn is buried at Alicante Cemetery." He said as he looked at his watch. "It closes in 3 hours."
"Thanks Luke." I said as I made my way back to my car, I turned around and he was still standing there. "Was it that obvious that I loved Clary?" I asked and he laughed.
"Anyone could tell that you loved her. It was obvious. But Jocelyn and I knew that you were in love with her. We didn't know when you'd finally figure it out, but we knew that one day a light bulb would go off in your head and you'd know." He said and I nodded. I got into my car and made my way to the cemetery. I had no idea what I was going to say to her, but I had to be with her.
When I finally got there I recognized Clary's car. I got out of mine and started walking. It wasn't a huge cemetery but it was pretty big. I walked along the path until I caught a glimpse of red hair. She was wrapped tightly in a blanket in front of a headstone. I started walking towards her, and when I was close enough I could hear her talking.
"I miss you." She said and I could hear it in her voice that she was crying. "I don't know what to do without you. I come home and it's completely empty. It's filled with memories of you and they don't even make me happy, they make me cry because now I'm alone. I'm so completely alone mom, and I don't know how to handle it." Her body started to shake with how much she was crying. "You were my everything, and now I have nothing. I have this giant void in my life, and I can't fill it. I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I can barely take care of myself. I need you. I need my mom." She barely finished before she let the violent jolts take over her body. She was sobbing, and I couldn't take it. I walked over and wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest. I don't know if she knew it was me, but she didn't pull away. She simply buried her head into my chest and continued to cry. Seeing her like this was absolutely heartbreaking. She was one of the strongest people I had ever met, and to see her so shattered, hurt.
After maybe 30 minutes she was finally starting to calm down. Her breathing was becoming more normal and her sobs were now little sniffles every now and than. Her head still rested on my chest and we didn't speak. We sat there and let the silence consume us. I didn't move, she didn't move, she sat there on my lap as I rubbed circles on her back in an attempt to calm her down. Being this close to Clary again felt right, and it felt natural and I know she was pissed at me, but right now she needed me, and I was going to be there for her.
She eventually started to move and she detached herself from me. I didn't realize how warm she was until she sat up and I was hit with a cold breeze and I shivered. She laughed a little before she offered me some of her blanket. I took it, and we wrapped it around ourselves. She didn't look at me at first, but eventually our eyes locked and I could see the sadness in them.
"What are you doing here?" She finally said and I could tell her throat was sore from crying so much.
"I read your journal." I said and she sighed. "Why did you let me read that? You aren't the type of person who shares things."
"I wanted you to know how I felt. What was happening, and those pages sum it up." She said and I nodded.
"I know why you hate me, but I wasn't ignoring you." I said and she opened her mouth but I cut her off. "There was this girl in California. Her name was Kaelie, and we hooked up for the two years I was out there. You know that I never did the serious thing, and I thought she understood that." I said and she nodded. "The week that everything went down hill for you she invited me to her parents beach house, and I don't know how she did it, but she listened to your voicemails and erased them all. Clary, you know I would have dropped everything for you." She was silent so I continued. "If I would have known Clary, I would have been on the first flight out and been here for you the whole time."
"I know, that's why it hurt so much when you never called." She said as she hung her head. I put my finger under her chin and forced her to look at me.
"You are my best friend Clary. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in my life. Reading what you wrote, and knowing that you needed me so much and I wasn't there for you broke me." I said and she sniffled again. "I cried when I read your journal. It was heartbreaking, and if I could go back and be there for you, I would."
"But you don't cry." Was all she said and I smiled.
"You mean everything to me Clary. I would never abandon you. I know football controlled my life for a long time, but you always came first to me." I said and her nose scrunched and I laughed. "You were always really cute when you did that." I said and she laughed. "It's getting late, and you have been out here for hours. You need to warm up." I said and she nodded we both got up but her legs gave out. I caught her and than scooped her up into my arms. She rested her head against my chest and I grabbed the blanket and made it to my car.
"What about my car?" She asked and I put her down.
"Do you think you can drive?" I asked and she nodded. "Alright, movie night at your house." I said and she smiled and nodded.
"But you have to shower first. You smell." She laughed, and it felt great to see a glimpse of the old Clary.
"I'll shower when I get back to your house." I said and she laughed. We got in our cars and headed back to her house. When we opened up the front door I could tell it was hard for her. I grabbed her hand and it seemed to relax her. "What are you going to do while I'm showering?"
"Make coffee. I'm freezing." She said and I nodded.
"I'll be done soon." I said and she nodded. She walked to the kitchen, and I walked upstairs. When I got to her bathroom everything was the exact same. Nothing at changed, and I felt at home.
I only took about a 10 minute shower, and when I got back downstairs Clary was on the couch with her coffee mug cuddled under blankets. I looked at the TV and saw that she had put on 'She's The Man', it was always her guilty pleasure. It was one movie that always made her laugh. I took my seat next to her and she curled up against my side like she always did.
I could barely pay attention to the movie because I wanted to tell Clary how I felt, and have her understand that I wanted to be more than just her best friend. I knew there was a chance that she didn't feel the same way but I had been oblivious to my own feelings for so long that I didn't want to wait anymore. When the movie was over, I got up and got us more coffee while she put in another movie. When I came back out into the living room Clary was standing in the middle of the room looking a little nervous.
"What's wrong Clary?" I asked as I put our mugs down on the coffee table.
"I have to tell you something." She said but she didn't make eye contact.
"Is something wrong?" I asked as I moved closer to her.
"No." She said.
"So, why do you look scared?" I asked as I moved even closer to her.
"I forgive you for not being there." She said and I sucked in a breath. "It wasn't your fault, I understand that now, and I'm sorry I didn't just flat out ask you why you ignored me. I shut you out, and I shouldn't have done that."
"You have nothing to apologize for." I said and she gave me a sad smile.
"I was so angry at you. I hated you more than I thought was possible." She said. "It felt wrong to hate you, but I didn't know what else to do."
"What do you mean?"
"I loved you for years." She flat out said. "You were my best friend, my everything. You were there when I broke my arm, or when I got my first concussion during lacrosse. You were there when that douchebag Sebastian asked me to the homecoming dance as a prank, and you were there when I was standing on that bridge because I was so completely lost. You talked me down and you comforted me." She was playing with her fingers, which was a tell tale sign that she was nervous. "I don't know if I can just be your best friend Jace. Not after everything that has happened. I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."
"Clary." I said but she cut me off.
"I don't know if you feel the same way, but I had to tell you. I needed you to know." She said and before I could even comprehend what I was doing I walked over to her and slammed my lips to hers. She was shocked at first, but she kissed me back. I don't know how long we were like that but when we broke apart I couldn't help but smile.
"I love you too." I said and she smiled. "I have for so long, I just didn't know it." I kissed her again and never wanted to stop. Clary and I were finally together again, and it felt amazing. When we broke apart she put on another movie and we cuddled back on the couch together. Everything was so messed up, but I was glad that we had cleared the air, and that we can start fresh.
Time Jump – Three Years Later
Clary POV:
Jace and I had been together ever since that day and I honestly couldn't be happier. When Izzy and Simon got back and I told them everything they were really happy for us. Apparently it was obvious to everyone that we were in love but it didn't matter because we were together and that's all that mattered. Last year Jace had asked me to move in with him, and I was hesitant towards the idea because I still had my house but I realized that I would truly never be happy in that house ever again. I talked to Luke and he offered to help me with selling it, and in a month it was sold and it was bittersweet to let it go, but I knew that I had too.
Which brings me to what I'm doing right now. I'm currently unpacking the last box that Jace and I had, and we could truly say we were moved in. We were almost done school, we were both seniors and I was so ready to be done. I was putting the books on the bookshelf when I heard the door open and than slam shut. When I turned around Jace looked like he was panting and out of breath.
"Where is the fire?" I said and he laughed.
"I got an offer." He said. "I was asked to meet coach in the office today and when I got there the head coach of the Detroit Lions was there." He said and my eyes widened. Jace didn't care what team got him, just as long as he was picked.
"Tell me everything." I said as we made our way to the couch.
"He has been watching me since freshman year. He said that he was extremely impressed. He said that he would be in touch. I can go to the NFL babe. I can actually make it." He said and I smiled.
"I knew you could." I said as I gave him a sweet kiss. "I always knew you had it in you."
"I can't believe this is happening." He said and I smiled, but the smile soon faded when I realized that I had just completely moved us in, and we'd most likely be moving to Detroit. "What's wrong?"
"I just finished unpacking the last box." I said. "We're officially moved in."
"And that's a bad thing because…..?" He asked.
"Because I just finished moving us in, and we're going to have to move." I said and it clicked.
"I told the coach before anything happens I want to graduate college. I told him about my plans for once my NFL career ends, and he understood. He isn't doing anything until I am a college graduate. I signed a pre-contract though, saying that I was going to them no matter what, so no other team can approach me with offers."
"So we're living here for a year?" I asked and he smiled and nodded.
"You worked so hard making this place our home, I wasn't going to let that go to waste." He said and I laughed.
"Home is wherever you are." I said and he smiled. "I don't care how many houses I have to unpack and organize, as long as you come home to me at the end of the day, that's all I care about."
"I will always come home to you." He said and I kissed him again. The rest of the night was spent eating Chinese food, and watching movies while we cuddled on the couch. The idea of moving used to scare me. I thought that I would always stay in New York, be close to friends, and family, and that would be my life, but I would follow Jace around the world if it meant that he got to live his dreams out. The NFL was his dream, and I wanted that for him just as much as he wanted it. The future wasn't clear, it will always be changing, but I knew Jace was always a common factor no matter what.
Time Jump – Ten Years Later
Jace POV:
Today was my last game in the NFL before I moved on to taking over my fathers company. I had a lot of shoulder problems and it was just too painful to continue, and it sucked because I loved football, but I had 10 amazing years in the game, and the next chapter of my life was going to start.
There was going to be a little ceremony before the game to let the fans know that I was retiring. I had kept it on the down low since I decided that it was my time, and my coach and the manager of the team thought giving me a little farewell was needed. Clary and our little girl, Caroline, who just turned 2 was going to be there. I couldn't picture a better way to announce my retirement than with my two girls by my side. I was in the locker room getting ready when I heard a throat clear, I looked up and my coach was standing next to Clary and Caroline. I got up and made my way over to them.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I gave her a kiss.
"Caroline has been sad all morning, and I thought that maybe if she saw you she would perk up." Clary said and I guess she was right because Caroline had the biggest smile on her face.
"Daddy!" She said as she reached for me. I took her out of Clary's arms and gave her a kiss.
"Hey baby." I said and she giggled before smiling again. After a few minutes I gave Caroline back to Clary and smiled.
"The little ceremony should start soon, would you like to walk out with me?" I asked and she smiled and nodded.
"Jace, you're up!" I heard coach call and I looked at Clary. I took her hand and we walked out onto the field together.
"Ladies and gentleman, we have a special surprise for you at the beginning of this game! Please welcome to the field Jace Herondale!" The crowd went crazy. "Jace is joined by his wife Clary, and his daughter Caroline. Jace has been in the NFL for 10 years, and has made huge contributions to every team that he has been on. It is with great sorrow that we announce his retirement today." The crowd was obviously upset by the news, and I expected nothing less from them. "We would like to take this time to thank you Jace Herondale for the time you have dedicated to the game both on and off the field, and we also thank you family for the sacrifices they have had to make while you were in this game. The NFL will definitely miss you, and your leadership, and your go getter attitude." The whole stadium started clapping. "Thank you Jace Herondale, for your ten years of phenomenal talent and over all love for the game." The announcer finished and I waved to the crowd while they all clapped and chanted my name. I turned to look at Clary who looked absolutely thrilled and proud of everything that we've done together.
"I am so proud of you." She said and I pressed my lips to hers.
"See you after the game?" I asked and she smiled and nodded.
"Go show them one last time how truly amazing Jace Herondale is." She said and I kissed her again.
"I love you."
"I love you too." She said and I knew that no matter where life took me, as long as I had Clary and Caroline, every new adventure would be exciting.
Authors Note:
So this one shot was thought of by me. Some of the events that take place in this story and based off of my real life. I've been through a lot in the last couple years, and I'm still in the process of grieving and coming to terms with how my life is now, and that it won't ever go back to the way it was. I didn't know any other way to get it off my chest than to write it in the form of a story. Some things are changed to fit the characters, but the topic is real, and very emotional for me. This story gives my readers a glimpse into my life, and how truly truly sad I am, and how when shit hits the fan, sometimes you break, and putting those pieces back together is impossible. You lose a lot of yourself when you lose the one person you love more than anything in this world. Let me know what you all think, and I promise to get back to the requests when I come up with a badass story!
