Before the day was out, Olivia was feeling like a failure. Nothing had come yet of the search for Alex, and Zacharias McFadden was unavailable to share his version of events because he'd suffered a slight setback after being transferred to the main hospital in Queens. But that was another story.
Trevor's description of the man he remembered in the alley had led them straight to the apartment of Misha Ivanov, otherwise known as Garrett Rhys' righthand man. He was there, but he was very dead—someone had shot him. Now it was back to square one.
Olivia left the station at six o'clock to be with Noah and Serena. They needed her, and she needed them. Things were fine until after dinner and bath time—this was when they began to express their distress about Alex not being there. Things went from zero to sixty really quickly, and all Olivia wanted to do was hide and/or eat her feelings, but she couldn't because she had small children to think of. It was going to be a long night.
Harper stopped by in the middle of this, and Olivia was quick to invite her in. At her Harper's insistence, she looked after Noah and Serena so that she, Olivia, could shower in peace and put on some clean clothes. By the time Olivia was refreshed and had returned to the living room, her children were fighting sleep, but only because they found their auntie so interesting. Pleased by this giant leap of progress and because she had realized that Harper was lonely, Olivia inivited her to stay the night. Harper said yes without a second thought.
All things considered, unfortunately, the duo only had about five minutes of peace.
Harper spoke in a pleading tone. "What do we do? I know the kids are missing Alex, but this is really reaching."
Noah and Serena were both beginning to whine for the sake of making noise. It wasn't a fun sound.
Olivia tried to wrack her brain. "Casey told me about a trick earlier to help with separation anxiety, but I'm drawing a blank."
"Well, hurry up and call her—the twins are acting like they're about to hiccup again."
Olivia immediately sat back on the couch from where she'd been pacing the floor and rubbed Harper's back, between her shoulder blades; she'd seen her sister through numerous hiccuping jags, and they were never anything light. Between having been pregnant, raising a toddler, and now an infant, the lieutenant knew quite a few things about hiccups.
"What's the twins' record?"
"Three solid, very long hours."
"Okay." Olivia picked up her phone. "I'm going to call Casey. Hang tight."
Casey answered her own phone very quickly. "Olivia! Any news?"
"No, I'm afraid. How are you all?"
The redhead glanced at her family. They were at home, and camped out on the big bed in the main bedroom, looking at old photographs. Things were quiet for the most part, and Melissa was even holding tightly to an old snap of Alex that Casey had let her keep. Melissa had already cried her feelings out, and it had been so bad that they'd only just gotten her to stop after over an hour of hard crying. Unfortunately, Melissa had cried so hard that her parents were already anticipating that she'd be hoarse by the morning. Casey couldn't imagine trying to soothe any other weepy child that night besides her own.
"We're coping. You?"
Olivia laughed nervously. "Harper is here, and we're keeping each other company, but the twins are two steps short of another nuclear hiccuping meltdown, and Noah and Serena won't stop whining."
"Then is this about that trick I told you of earlier?" Casey said sympathetically.
"Yes, but I totally blanking out." Olivia said sheepishly. "What was it, again?"
"It was to give Noah and Serena something like a clean shirt each from Alex's closet."
"Because they'll have her scent."
"Bingo. Little ones that small are always comforted by the familiar smells of their parents." Casey explained. "And if you want to calm both twins down, try playing classic Mozart. All of the kids over here dig it, especially when Sophia and I play on our violins."
Olivia exhaled in relief. "Things that smell just like Alex, and classic Mozart—got it. Thanks, Case, and take care."
"You, too, Liv."
They hung up, and Olivia quickly found two of Alex's clean shirts that she'd hung up just the previous day. Both smelled had her classic lemon and pear smell, from a bottle of her favorite perfume that she liked to spray in her closet. It had been the same perfume that her own mother had always worn.
First, Olivia held one of the shirts out to Noah. "Look—it's one of mommy's shirts. Do you want to hold it?"
"Yes." Noah stuck his hand out for the offering. "Please, mama."
"Here you, go, my boy." Olivia handed the shirt to Noah and watched as he inhaled the scent of his lost mother. "Do you want to come cuddle with me?"
Noah found Harper very comfortable, but he just wanted Olivia, so it wasn't a hard choice for him.
"Yes, mama."
The little boy crawled across the couch and laid his head in Olivia's lap. Noah's left hand was holding tight to Alex's shirt, but he used his right one to pat Olivia's thigh; it was his way of making sure she was really there.
"Love mama. Love, love, love." he gave a huge yawn and closed his eyes. "Love."
"I love you, too, Noah James."
He gave another yawn, and was then out like a light, but even as he fell asleep, Olivia felt him relax completely. The trick had worked, so now it was time to try it out on Serena. She was in Harper's arms, and now squirming around in addition to her whining. Olivia handed the other shirt to her sister and watched her work.
"Look, baby angel." Harper cooed to Serena. "Auntie has one of mommy's shirts for you."
The second that Alex's shirt was near her, she pulled it close and curled in on it like a hedgehog. Her change of mood was as immediate and apparent as it had been in her brother, and when Harper began to rub soothing circles on her back, Serena curled up even more like a hedgehog. Sleep came quickly for her, too.
"Wow." Harper said in a daze. "That's two babies down."
Olivia nodded. "Yep. How are Junior and Zoelle now?"
The young mother let out a sigh of relief when she felt her own children relax. "They're doing much better."
"Good. Casey suggested to play Mozart to calm them."
"Hey, that's a good idea. Hopefully, I can remember that for the next time they drive me bonkers."
From Harper's arms, little Serena let out another yawn and began cooing in her slumber.
Olivia smiled. "She doesn't do that unless she's totally relaxed."
This made Harper proud to know that she'd soothed her niece completely, so she kept rubbing Serena's back and giving her kisses. Her worries were forgotten. But as all worries did, hers came back faster than she would have liked.
"Olivia, is this what it's like? Being home when someone you love is…" she searched for the right phrasing. "Out there?"
"Yes. I would love to keep searching, but I still I had to come back here."
"For Noah and Serena."
"And you, and Junior, and Zoelle." Olivia gently amended.
Harper looked at her sister in surprise. "Us? Really?"
Olivia moved closer to her. "Of course, Harp. I may be your sister, but I'm always going to care for you, Junior, and Zoelle, the same way that Alex and I care for Sophia, Noah, Serena, Diana, and all of Sophia's children."
Harper tried not to cry as she felt the affection. "Thank you. I've just been without a mom for so long that I'm going to have to relearn what it's like because I forgot, since she died when I was nine. I mean, we don't know how it is to have a dad."
Just for a fleeting moment, Olivia thought of Captain Cragen, and how he had been the closest to a father she'd ever had. "Actually, my old captain—the man I inherited the squad from—always treated my like his daughter. We were very close."
"Where is he now?" Harper said in surprise.
"Retired in Florida, and he actually lives near one of my old squad members who also retired. He was more like a cool uncle." Olivia gave Harper a pat on the knee and then pulled Noah into her lap as she turned to completely face her sister. "I would rather hold on to those memories because from what I've learned over the years, our father would have never been worth getting to know. But if I may—there's an alternative to wondering about him."
"Oh, really?"
"Elliot and Fin have been around the block more than a few times, with being dads."
Harper grew impressed against her will. "I know Elliot has a family, but Fin is a dad, as well?"
"Uh-huh. He has a son, a son-in-law, and a grandson."
"Aww…"
"Seriously, though—Elliot and Fin are great guys. I know they'd look out for you like dads do."
"That's really nice to know." Harper glided a hand over the top of her middle as she felt Zoelle stretch out. "I have more questions—does the knot ever go away? The one you get when someone you love is lost?"
"To be honest, it doesn't until you know they're safe." Olivia admitted. "Care to share exactly what's on your mind?"
Harper shrugged. "Last time something like this was happening, I was one of the ones gone. Serena, too."
"I was worried for all of our MIA people..."
Harper laughed hollowly. "But didn't even know Serena and I yet."
"All the same," Olivia countered. "I've cared about you, Harper Atticus, from the first moment I heard your name. That was before I'd seen you, and before we found out who our parents are."
"So you cared for Serena like that?"
"Yes, I did, and that was before I knew her mother was person who had already left footprints on my heart more than a decade ago." Olivia glanced down at her first middle child, still fast asleep without a care. "Your nephew, here, was born into some really miserable circumstances, and I quite literally found him while on the job. I looked after him for as long as I could, and I gave him the name of Noah James."
"What happened after that? You put him in the foster care system?"
"I did, because I really didn't have a choice, but I started loving him like he was mine the first time I ever saw him."
"Then what about when he finally became yours?"
"The judge overseeing Noah's hearings noticed that I'd turned up at all of them because of how much I cared, and when she asked me if I'd be willing to become a registered foster parent so that I could foster and then adopt him, I said yes without hesitating. Noah has been my baby boy ever since, and the love I'd already had for him intensified that day."
"Wow." Harper marveled.
"I've loved Sophia for her whole existence, too, and giving her up was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I thought about her every day for the twenty-five years that we were apart."
"Did you ever tell anyone that you were a mother?"
"Just Alex. I was never strong enough to tell about one else about Sophia."
"Then it must have give everyone a real turn when she turned up out of the blue..."
"That's one way to put it." Olivia smiled softly at the phrasing. "Do you know what you, Sophia, Noah, and Serena each have in common, though?"
"Your love for us?" Harper guessed. "You?"
"That, and that you all have been in crazy circumstances, but now, all of you are back, safe and sound."
"We are, aren't we?"
Olivia bobbed her head. "Yes, and through it all, I still kept my faith in the belief that everything would work out."
"Do you still have the faith right now?"
"I do still have the faith right now. Even though it hurts."
"Then," Harper decided. "I'll do my best to try, too."
"That makes me glad, and sometimes, trying is the best thing that you can do."
Harper made a humming sound of agreement and checked on Serena. The little girl had to have been having an intense dream because she kept flexing her arms and legs as she slept. Her movements were so big that she dropped Alex's shirt, but she was at peace again when Harper spread it over her back like a blanket. Harper's heart was fit to explode with love and pride over how well Serena responded to her. She loved this child very deeply.
"Harper," Olivia found herself saying. "We've noticed that Serena plays favorites—especially with Sophia—but how is it that you have the kind of spell over her that you do?"
"When we were stuck in Brighton Beach, I made friends with Dana, and she let me hold Serena because I was the only other one of Bishop's captives that wasn't hysterical."
"Then I take it that Serena imprinted on you?"
"She did, and I always looked after her when Dana and Bishop were fighting. Serena would be as calm then as she is now."
"Because she trusts you." Olivia realized.
"Mhm. I sang to my little friend, cuddled with her, told her stories, and fed, bathed, changed, and clothed her because I wanted to her to know that someone still cared for her. Plus, Dana and Bishop would be gone for hours. I didn't want Serena to feel alone or neglected." Harper gave the baby a hug. "Maybe she remembers that or just my smell, and that's why she relaxes easily with me."
"I'll say. In a way, you fostered her, and she grew attached."
"Then do you think I'll be a good mom to Junior and Zoelle, when they come?"
Olivia immediately hugged her sister and then held her face in her hands. "You're already a wonderful mother to them while they're growing inside you now. Harper, in time, you're going to be even more wonderful than you already are."
Upon these words, Harper leaned into her who immediately hugged her warmly. She gave awesome hugs.
"Thank you, Olivia. Thank you."
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION
STATEN ISLAND
After moved from the warehouse, Alex found herself in a completely different location than that had been. She was in some kind of inventory room, because everywhere she looked, she saw the kinds of things that one might serve at a bar or tavern. Was she at one of those kinds of establishments? If that was even some version of the truth at all, then the owners were certainly looking the other way. In addition for the kinds of charges that would be brought against these people for kidnapping a political figure such as herself, she was going to make sure that at least the health department would come have a look around. Anything to make her kidnappers' and conspirators' lives a little more worse because of what they were doing to her.
Misha had locked Alex in the room after taking the bag off her and freeing her of the restraints around her wrists. He'd added those for good measure when she had tried to strike him.
Just as Alex was beginning to stew, Misha returned, and he even had food on a tray for her.
"What's that?" sneered Alex, of the offering.
Misha didn't bat an eye at her attitude. "Food, clearly."
"Why?"
"Besides the obvious," he indicated her middle. "I'm not nearly as terrible as Garrett is."
"Then… you aren't going to torture me?"
Misha scoffed at this idea; the act of torture was beneath him. "Who said anything about that? Eat—I'll be back in an hour to collect your tray."
He left out again after that, and Alex glanced at her tray. It bore a ham sandwich, a sad excuse for a banana, and in a tin cup, drinking water. Even for the situation at hand, the food was dismal at best. She hoped she wouldn't gag as she ate. In the end, she told herself it was all to keep her strength up for Diana.
True to his word, Misha returned after a full hour had elapsed. He was pleased when he saw that Alex had eaten everything and drank all of her water.
"Very good, Miss Cabot. Let's address the agenda now."
Alex made an agitated huffing sound, but said nothing.
"I know this is ridiculous to say out loud, but just tell me your banking information—it will be much easier for everyone if you cooperate with me."
As she had back at the warehouse, the councilor spat on the ground in front of her. "Let me go to my family!"
"I can't do that." Misha said patiently before he repeated his inquiry. "Tell me your banking information."
"I WILL NOT!"
"Bitch, you will! It's me, or Garrett!"
But Alex wouldn't break. She couldn't.
Frustrated, Misha left her for a third time.
Alex never saw him alive again because once Misha delivered the news that their captive was being most uncooperative, he paid the price. With his life. His dead body was left as his apartment for the detectives to find.
It was a few more hours again before Alex found herself in the company of another person. Much to her chagrin, it was the last person she wanted to look at.
"Garrett, what the hell did you do with Misha?"
"Not important." he answered nonchalantly. "What is is that you didn't cough up what I want to know."
Alex shot him a disgusted look. "I meant it when I said that I was never ever going to give you anything else of mine."
"I'm going to get what I want, one way or another."
She taunted him, but only because it would make him angry. "And I keep saying no?"
"Then I might just go after your family—God knows that the pickings aren't slim."
A scream died in Alex's throat, although that didn't stop her from yelling at the top of her lungs again. "DON'T YOU TOUCH THEM! NO, NO, NO!"
Satisfied that Alex was finally behaving the way he wanted, Garrett left her to her own devices. He wasn't really going to go after her family, but he was happy to let her think that.
He was going to bend her until she finally broke.
