Fifty Seventh One Shot:
Princess
Clary POV:
I was sitting in my room when there was a knock on my door. I sighed and got out of bed and made my way over and opened it, and there stood my maid, Rose.
"Hello Princess, I was instructed by our father to tell you to meet him in the dining room." She said and I nodded.
"Thanks Rose." I said and she bowed and walked away. I closed my door and got dressed into something more appropriate that my father would approve of. When I finally felt presentable I made my way down to the dining room. To my surprise, he wasn't the only one in there. My mother, my brother, and the royal family from the country over was also there.
"Ah Clarissa, nice of you to join us." My father said.
"I'm sorry I wasn't at breakfast this morning father, I wasn't feeling well." I said and he nodded and I took a seat next to my mother.
"Now that Clarissa is here, we would like to make an announcement." My father said and King Stephan stood up and joined him at the end of the table. "Stephan and I have come to an agreement, and have sighed a treaty that will forever bind out kingdom's together." My father said. "Princess Clarissa and Prince Jonathan will be married."
"I have to marry my brother?" I said and everyone laughed.
"No, I'm sorry Clarissa, I should have been more specific. You will marry Stephan's son."
"I thought his name was Jace?" I asked.
"That's the nickname he prefers to go with, but his name is Jonathan." King Stephan clarified and I nodded.
"It would be my pleasure. May I be excused?" I asked.
"Of course, but I'm sorry that Jonathan couldn't be here today. He is coming off of a illness himself, and wasn't allowed to travel on doctors orders." King Stephan explained.
"We'll have to make a trip up to your kingdom soon to introduce the two." My father said and Stephan nodded. I left the room before I heard anymore. I figured my father would marry me off to some prince in another kingdom at some point but I didn't realize it would happen so soon.
When I got back to my room I got back in my bed and pulled my computer up and looked up Jace. Google immediately gave me thousands of pictures of him, and sure he was hot but in most pictures he had a different woman on his arm, sometimes even two women. I sighed and shut my computer. Of course I get handed off to a huge playboy, and have to live my life with him probably having affair after affair, and I just have to smile and pretend that I don't know anything about it. I leaned back and snuggled under my covers and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
Time Jump – One Month Later
Clary POV:
My father, mother and I had landed in the airport and were making our way out to cars. Flashes were going off from a lot of different camera's and people were shouting at me about how much they loved me, or if they could have an autograph, or if they could marry me, and I smiled and waved like I always do. I didn't realize how popular I was in another country, but at least they knew who I was so they might be a little more accepting of me as their future queen.
We got to their palace and were greeted by the staff. I had to give them credit. Their place was huge, and completely magnificent. It was an older style but that just added to the charm of it. We were guided into the living area and told that they would be in right away. I stood up and started inspecting the pictures on the mantle. They were older pictures. None were really recent and that only added to my curiosity of how close they really were.
"Valentine, wonderful to see you." I heard and I turned around and there stood the Herondale's.
"You too Stephan, Celine, and it's wonderful to finally meet you Jonathan." My father said.
"Please, call me Jace." He said and my father nodded.
"Very well. Jace, this is our daughter, and your future wife Clarissa." My father said as he gestured to me.
"Nice to meet you Clarissa." Jace said as he took my hand and kissed it.
"Please, call me Clary." I said and he nodded. "Pleasure to meet you."
"You as well." He said as he backed away.
"We shall leave you two to get to know each other a little more." King Stephan said as all the adults left the room. Jace and I stood awkwardly in the living area until he broke it.
"Would you like me to show you around?" He asked.
"That would be lovely." I said. He started walking and I decided to follow him. As soon as we made it outside, he started talking.
"I'm sure you can see what we have here from just looking, but that's the pool, and farther back is the tennis courts. Around the bend are the stables, and beyond the tennis courts there is fields to play polo, and such. We have cricket equipment, but I'm not much of a player. My father enjoys the game much more than I." He said and I just nodded and continued to follow. "I'm sure you got a nice look at the town on your way in, and everything."
"I did." I said and he looked at me.
"You don't have many emotions do you?" He asked with a laugh and I just shrugged. "Do you have any?"
"I guess." I answered and he laughed. He wasn't wrong, I didn't show much emotions. Normally I just went through the motions of my duties, and appearance sake, but when I didn't need to be the perfect princess, I didn't even try.
"You know, I looked you up when my father told me that we were getting married, and you looked incredibly happy in the pictures I saw." He said as we took a seat on a near by bench.
"Have to keep up the appearance." I said with a shrug. "There aren't any camera's here, so I don't need to smile."
"It would be nice if I could tell if you were enjoying your time with me." He said with a smirk and I just shrugged.
"And what if I'm not?" I asked and he laughed.
"Everyone enjoys their time with me." He said with a cocky attitude.
"You know, I looked you up as well, and I noticed a trend with you." I said and he motioned for me to continue. "Women. Lots of women."
"Jealous?" He asked.
"No, just preparing myself for the future marriage we're going to have." I said.
"And what would that be?" He asked.
"Full of lots of affairs, and fake smiles." I said as I stood up. "I have to go. I'm tired. It was a long trip." I said as I started to walk away.
"I'm not that heartless." He called after me and I turned around.
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see about that." I said as I continued to walk away.
Jace POV:
I was stunned as Clary walked away. The fact that she thought that was what our life was going to be like. Yea, I liked to flirt, and stuff, but I wasn't planning on doing that to her. I saw what one simple affair can do to a marriage, and if I wanted this to work out, and not be miserable, I wasn't going to jeopardize that with a stupid hook up. Clary and I might have to work on our relationship, but I was willing to do that, I just had to make her believe that.
I walked around the grounds and heard laughing coming from the stables. I made my way over and saw Alec and Izzy standing there in the middle of a conversation. Our stables were a place for our horses but also for other people's who need a place to keep theirs, and when we got a lot of them, we needed to hire people who knew how to take care of them. That's where the Lightwood's came in. They are a team of vets, and some of the best in the country. They just so happen to be my friends. We met in school, and instantly clicked.
"Hey guys." I said and they turned around and smiled.
"Hey, I thought you were meeting your future bride today." Izzy asked.
"I did, but she said she was tired and wanted to nap." I said and they nodded.
"The whole kingdom is thrilled that she's here." Alec said.
"They know her?" I asked and they both laughed.
"Of course they know her. I heard the airport was packed with people waiting to see her." Izzy explained.
"But how do they know her?" I asked.
"She's a princess Jace." Alec said.
"Yes, but she's a princess for a different country." I said.
"Do you know anything about her?" Izzy asked and I shook my head. "You should look her up and find out."
"I figured there wouldn't be much on her." I said.
"If you dig deep enough I'm sure you can find it." Izzy said.
"Well, I'm certainly not going to get much out of her. She is like a walking robot. She's very monotone, and she doesn't really have much feeling for anything." I explained.
"Look her up. I guarantee you'll get some answers." Izzy said.
"Why can't you just tell me?" I asked.
"Because it's something you need to do for yourself." She said and I sighed. "And don't look for the obvious. You won't find much looking up Clarissa Morgenstern."
"What does that even mean?" I asked.
"Be creative." She said and I groaned. "I have to take Lord out for his daily walk, trust me Jace, you might not like what you find out, but it'll be worth it." She said and than she left.
"What the hell does that mean?" I asked Alec as Izzy left.
"I've never been able to understand Izzy, or how she manages to find things out but she's almost never wrong." Alec said.
"I just want to know how she knows something that most of the population doesn't." I said and Alec laughed.
"You know how determined she is." Alec said and I nodded. "I have to meet with the owners of Cassius, and give them an update. See you around man." He said as he left the stables and than it was just me. Clearly Clary acted the way she did because of something that happened in her life, and I was determined to figure out what, but I just didn't know where to start, since asking her was completely out of the question.
Time Jump – A Couple Months Later
Jace POV:
Searching about Clary was harder than I thought, but I wasn't giving up. My family was hosting our annual ball, and the Morgenstern's arrived a few days ago, and I rarely saw Clary. She spent the majority of her time in her room, and only came out when asked, or for meals. It was weird. I never experienced someone who was so incredibly numb before, but Clary was almost the shell of a human. She smiled out in public, and laughed when she talked to someone, and occasionally when we would have to make public appearances she would show some type of affection towards me, but when people were gone, and there weren't camera's she put that wall up, and it was impossible to break through them.
My father almost sent a maid to go get Clary, but I volunteered because I really wanted to see her. I was making my way up to her room and trying to figure out what I was going to ask, and when I knocked on the door she opened it and she looked incredibly tired.
"Yes?" She asked.
"The designer is here to find you a dress for the ball." I said and she nodded.
"Thanks." She said as she went to close the door but I stopped her.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yea. Why wouldn't I be?" She asked.
"You look exhausted." I said and she shrugged.
"I don't sleep well in unfamiliar places." She said and I nodded.
"Is there a certain scent that reminds you of home?" I asked and she looked confused.
"I have a lavender plant in my room at home." She said and I nodded.
"He's waiting for you in the foyer." I said and I walked away. When I went downstairs I grabbed my coat and walked outside before my father stopped me.
"Jonathan, where are you going?" He asked and I turned around.
"Clary doesn't sleep well in unfamiliar places, so I asked if there was a scent that reminded her of home, and she said lavender. I'm going to go pick up a couple plants and put them in her room." I said and he seemed a little shocked.
"That's very unlike you." He said and I shrugged.
"I want this to work, and she needs to trust me." I said and he nodded and walked away. I got into the car and made my way into town. I tried to hide my face, but once one person see's me, they all freak out.
I was mobbed by people, and asked for pictures, and I've learned that if I just do what they want they leave me alone quicker. It took me about 30 minutes to make it to the florist but when I finally got into the store, and I went right up to the older woman behind the desk.
"Prince Jonathan, what do I owe the pleasure?" She asked.
"I would like to purchase 5 lavender plants please." I said and she nodded. She walked away and came back with the 5 purple plants.
"Will that be all Prince?" She asked and I nodded. I gave her my card and she swiped it and I made my way back to the car, while workers brought the flowers out. When I finally got home, I had the staff bring them up to Clary's room. I knew she wouldn't be there, considering Magnus would keep her hostage for a couple hours. I opened the door, and walked in and her room even felt like ice.
"Alright, just place them anywhere there is room." I said and they nodded and placed them around the room. "Thank you." I said when they were done and left. I hoped that Clary liked this gesture, and that it helped her sleep at night.
Clary POV:
After 2 hours with Magnus, I was finally released and I went straight to my room. When I walked in I was hit with the overwhelming scent of lavender. I looked around and realized there were lavender plants placed all around my room. I walked over to the closest one, and there was a note attached to it. I picked it up and unfolded it.
Dear Clary,
I hope the smell of these plants help you sleep at night. If you need anything else, please don't be afraid to ask the staff, or me personally. We will make sure that we make your stay here more comfortable.
Jace.
I couldn't help the rare smile that spread across my face. This was a very sweet gesture that he did, and I appreciated it, but it wasn't enough to make me trust him. I have trust issues, and I wasn't willing to just give my trust away to someone that I barely knew. Of course, maybe if I came out of my room and tried a little harder, I could get to know him, but I just didn't have the will.
Time Jump – Ball
Jace POV:
I was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Clary to come down. The ball had started, but we were being introduced so we got a little more time to get ready. I was nervous, and I could only imagine Clary wasn't, since she didn't seem to really care about anything, but I was anxious to see her. I heard the clicking of the heels and when I looked up, she took my breath away. She was wearing an emerald green ball gown that hugged her torso, but flowed at the bottom. Her hair was curled like normal but these curls were elegantly placed with a tiara on the top of her head. She descended the stairs and it took me a moment of two to get my breathing evened out. When she reached the bottom of the steps, I reached my hand out and she took it.
"You look absolutely beautiful." I said and she smiled, and I could tell it was an actual smile, not one of her fake ones.
"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself." She said and I smiled.
"You ready?" I asked and she shrugged. "You're not excited?" I asked as we started to walk towards the ballroom.
"I've never been one for big events." She said and I laughed.
"I've gathered as much." I said and she shrugged again. "How come you're so closed off?"
"I'm not closed off." She said.
"Yes you are." I said and we stopped.
"Just because I don't trust you doesn't mean I'm closed off." She said and I was taken aback.
"You don't even know me, and you don't make an effort to know me for you not to trust me." I explained and she didn't say anything. "I'm willing to try and earn your trust, but you need to be willing too."
"I'll try to be more involved." She said and I nodded.
"Thank you." I said and we stopped in front of the doors and I heard my father speaking.
"I am pleased to introduce you, for the first time, Prince Jonathan, and his future wife, Princess Clarissa." We heard and the doors opened. Clary had her signature fake smile plastered on her face. Her arm was linked in mine and we started entering the ballroom. The whole room erupted into a fit of applause and cheers as we made our way in, and I didn't know about Clary, but I was proud to have her on my arm. I knew there was something about her that I didn't know, but I was hoping that that changed in the future.
Time Jump – A Couple Hours Later
Clary POV:
The ball had been going on for hours, and I was tired, but I couldn't leave. This ball was to introduce me to this new country and if I left, I don't think Stephan and Celine would like that very much. Jace had disappeared about an hour ago, and I hadn't seen him since. I figured he was mingling with some people, so I didn't think too much about it.
The thing about Jace was, I knew that it was wrong of me to treat him with just a cold attitude, but I didn't trust him, and that's how I treated people I didn't trust. I knew what it could do when you trust people and how much it can break you when you do let people close, and I never wanted that to happen again. I need a break so I thought I would take a nice little walk outside to get some fresh air. I walked out onto the balcony and I could hear a girl giggling. I didn't know where it was coming from, so I decided to follow it, and when I turned the corner my eyes widened. There stood Jace, and he had a girl wrapped around him.
"You want me to trust you?" I said and they broke apart. "And this is you way to gain my trust?" I said and the girl laughed.
"Please. Everyone knows your marriage is political." She said and I rolled my eyes.
"You can forget about the trust." I said as I walked away.
"Clary." I heard Jace call and I turned around.
"You want to so desperately know why I'm so closed off, and why I seem so emotionless, well maybe it's because there were men in my life who I let in, who ended up hurting me or disappointing me and I don't want that to happen again." I said as tears filled my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. "You want to try and get me to open up to you, but last I checked, having some blonde pressed up against you, at our ball, announcing our engagement, isn't really the best way to get me to open up to you."
"Just let me explain." He said and I laughed.
"I don't want to hear it." I said as I walked away. At this point I didn't care about the ball. All I wanted was to go to my room, get out of this dress, get in the bath, and cry. And that's exactly what I did.
Jace POV:
After Clary left I turned around furious at Kaelie.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.
"Come on, you know you don't want to marry her." She said. "Plus, we have always been a much better couple." She said seductively.
"We dated for like 2 months when we were 15. I hardly call that being a couple." I said as I started walking away.
"She's damaged Jace." Kaelie said and I turned around. "She's more damaged than you'll ever know and I don't think you can handle that."
"Why the hell does everyone seem to know about her life but me?" I asked.
"It's not hard to track down one of her staff members and get some information." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Just pay them a decent amount and they aren't afraid to tell you whatever you want to know."
"Care to share?" I asked and she laughed.
"What do I get out of it?" She asked.
"You get to stay at this ball, and are allowed back to whatever other functions my parents have and I won't tell your parents you corned me and tried to ruin my engagement." I said and she glared at me.
"I didn't get much out of the girl who I talked too." Kaelie started. "She didn't know anything but the basics, but apparently the guy who worked for King Valentine as his right hand man took advantage of Clary when she was a little girl."
"By take advantage, do you mean…..?" I asked and Kaelie shrugged.
"The girl didn't know what he actually did, but nobody knew about it until Clary was nearly 17." Kaelie explained.
"Why didn't she say anything?" I asked furiously.
"Nobody knows the reasons why Clary never told. She wouldn't tell anyone when they found out." Kaelie explained.
"She's been keeping that to herself for 4 years? Wouldn't that make her go crazy?" I asked.
"Why do you think she's so numb? Most people would try and kill themselves, or start doing drugs, or go to therapy and get help. Clary, she just shut herself down from everything." Kaelie said. "She's emotionless because I think she's too tired to try and have any."
"You're being awfully forthcoming with this information. I thought I was going to have to threaten your parents status at some point." I said and she laughed.
"I didn't realize she actually mattered that much to you, but I saw it when she walked away." Kaelie said. "I'm sorry that I ruined it. I didn't mean too."
"I appreciate everything you've told me, and I appreciate the apology." I said and she nodded. "Go enjoy the rest of the ball." She smiled and walked away and I took a deep breath. I walked back in to the ballroom and tried to find Clary. When I couldn't I made my way over to Izzy to try and see if she knew anything. "Iz, have you seen Clary?"
"She stormed out of here a while ago. She looked angry, and I thought you said she didn't have emotions." Izzy said.
"Kaelie cornered me out on the balcony and tried to make out with me, and Clary caught us." I said.
"What is wrong with that girl?" Alec asked and I laughed.
"I don't know. Clary yelled at me, and than left." I said.
"Why didn't you run after her?" Izzy asked.
"Because I wanted answer from Kaelie, and than when I was about to leave she said something that caught my attention." I said.
"What?" Izzy and Alec asked in unison.
"She said that Clary was damaged. And I wanted to know what she meant." I explained.
"Did she tell you anything?" Izzy asked.
"She told me more than you." I said and Izzy rolled her eyes. "She said when Clary was little a member of her father's staff took advantage of her, and nobody found out until she was nearly 17."
"That sounds right." Izzy said.
"Why the hell wouldn't you tell me? And why the hell wasn't I able to find anything when I searched?" I asked.
"I told you to be creative in your research." She said. "Her family tried to keep it from going public, but some information leaked. Her family said that it wasn't their daughter, but another member of the staff, and who was going to not believe the King? The man who did it was sent to secure location and hasn't been able to leave since they found out. Everyone just accepted what King Morgenstern said and that was that."
"How did you find out?" I asked.
"I had to go to her country for a veterinarian convention about two years ago, and we got to tour their stables. It was amazing, and I saw her standing on her balcony, and she looked distant. I found a cute stable boy and started flirting and asked about her. He knew a lot more than most of the staff there. According to him, they used to be really good friends until she shut down." She explained.
"What exactly happened to her?" I asked.
"I think you should hear that from Clary. She needs to tell you when she trusts you." Izzy said.
"She's never going to trust me Iz. That was completely ruined tonight." I said and she walked over and hugged me.
"Prove to her that this wasn't you, and you do care." Izzy said and I nodded.
"Cover for me, I'm going to go look for her, and my parents won't be happy that I left." I said and Izzy nodded.
I made my way up to her room because I figured that was my best bet. When I knocked nobody answered. I was normally a patient guy, but I really needed to talk to her, so I twisted the doorknob and it was open. When I walked in Clary wasn't there, and I was about to leave when I heard something from the bathroom. It sounded like crying and when I peaked in, Clary was in the bathtub and rubbing her eyes. I knew I was taking a risk, and she might hate me forever, but I had nothing to lose at this point so I opened the door and her head snapped up towards me.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" She yelled and I was surprised.
"That was the first raw emotion I've gotten out of you since we've met." I said as I kneeled down next to the tub.
"Seriously Jace, this is super inappropriate." She said and I laughed.
"You're covered in bubbles. I can't see anything." I said and her cheeks turned red. "Ah, so you do have other emotions besides anger. I was starting to worry."
"What do you want?" She asked.
"You didn't let me explain." I said.
"I didn't want to hear any lies." She said quietly.
"Which is why I wasn't going to lie to you." I said and she looked over at me. "What you saw was Kaelie and I in a very compromising position, I'll admit, but I didn't initiate it. I was getting some fresh air on the balcony when she cornered me. We dated for like 2 months when we were 15, and she thought that she could try and ruin our engagement by making out with me. I tried to tell her no, but she threw herself at me, and that's when you walked over." I said.
"How do I know that's the truth?" She asked.
"Because I'm not a liar. Ask my parents, ask my friends. I don't lie. I never have." I said and she took a deep breath.
"Okay. I believe you, but that doesn't mean I trust you." She said and I nodded.
"I understand you need time to trust me because of your past, and I'm willing to wait, you just can't run away from me without an explanation." I said and her eyes widened.
"You know about my past?" She asked sounding horrified.
"I don't know much. Just that someone took advantage of you in some way, and you shut down because of it." I said and she sunk even further in the tub. "I'm not going to force you to tell me. When you're ready, and you trust me, just know I'm always up for listening." I said and she nodded but didn't look at me. "I like you Clary. I think you're incredibly kind, and sweet, and from what I've read about you, you're hilarious, and amazingly talented, and smart. I'd like to get the chance to experience those sides of you, if you'll let me."
"I can't promise you I'll open up about my past anytime soon." She eventually said. "It might take me some time, but I'm willing to try and trust you, and try to let you see other sides of me that I haven't shown to anyone in awhile."
"That's all I'm asking Clary. I know what you saw online about me is horrible. I lost my way when I was a teenager, and I'm not proud of that. I'm a different person now, and I hope that you see that, and eventually we can have a friendship or a relationship because we're stuck together Clary, and I don't want to be one of those kings and queens that only talk during public appearances, and ignore each other at home. I know what that looks like, and I'm not a fan." I said and she looked at me.
"Your parents, they aren't very warm and fuzzy towards each other. I notice it when they are in the same room." She said and I nodded.
"My father lost his way when I was about 12. He had an affair with some woman, and it destroyed my mother." I said. "Which is why I would never do something like that to you. It took my mom years to come to terms with what my father did, and even though he never did it again, he was never able to make it up to my mom. She had no choice in staying, but everything was different. Dinners were silent. Vacations were spent with me drifting from hotel to hotel so I could spend the same amount of time with each parent. Weekends were reserved for time with dad, while weekdays I was all of mom's responsibility. It was like living being two different people with two different lives."
"That must have been hard." She said and I shrugged.
"It sucked. We'd go out in public, and I'd see my mom and dad holding hands, and laughing together, but I knew it was all fake, but there was a part of me that longed for it to be real. I'd make them stay out an hour longer, just so that fantasy didn't have to go away." I laughed at the memories. "Eventually they realized what I was doing, and I got yelled at, and punished by both of them at the same time, but I couldn't even find it in me to care because at least while they were punishing me they were doing it together."
"That sounds terrible." She said and I laughed.
"I love my parents. I really do. My dad messed up, and I don't blame my mom for handling it the way she did. But sometimes I think that maybe if we weren't in this lifestyle, that it wouldn't have happened, and I think that's what sucks the most about it." I confessed. She reached out of the tub and placed her hand on my cheek and smiled at me, I real genuine smile.
"But if you weren't in this lifestyle, your parents might not have met, and you might not be here." She said and I shrugged. "Look, I don't know why bad things happen. I can't explain them, I can't excuse them, and I certainly can't predict them, but dwelling on them will only bring you misery."
"Is that why you are a ray of sunshine?" I asked and she laughed for this first time since I've known her.
"I've moved on, I just don't have time to deal with false emotions. Being happy in public is exhausting enough. I'm not happy, and I'm not going to pretend to be for the sake of others around me. I think that's a very important lesson to learn about me." She said.
"Look, I can handle the emotionless robot you've become, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sit back and not try and do nothing about it." I said and she nodded. "I believe you can be happy again, and I won't stop until I get you there."
"Why do you care so much? Nobody else has tried in the past." She said.
"Because I care about you, and I believe that we could have a really good life together. I don't mind you putting up a front out in public, and when we come home you sink into the couch and don't move for the rest of the day, but don't avoid things that could potentially make you happy because you think you don't deserve it." I explained. "Be sad, be angry, be numb, be emotionless, but you're allowed to be happy too. Even if it's just for 5 minutes."
"I can promise you I will try my hardest." She said and I nodded and stood up.
"That's all I'm asking for." I said and she smiled. "I'll let you get back to your bath. I'm sorry for interrupting but I needed to speak to you."
"It's okay. I'm glad we had this talk." She said and I nodded and made my way out of her bathroom. I felt like things were finally going to go up from here when it came to Clary and I, and I couldn't wait to see where it goes.
Time Jump – Four Months Later
Clary POV:
Since the ball, Jace and I haven't really seen each other considering we live in two different countries, but I had taken everything Jace said to heart, and was going to try my absolute hardest to try and give him something that the world doesn't get, and that's who I really am. I figured the best way to do that was to try and reconcile with my family first. They all knew that it was hard for me, but they understood why I shut myself off from everyone, and if I was going to start beginning to let a little bit of myself through, the best people to start with were my family. I made my way into the dinning room, where I had called a family meeting and when I rounded the corner I instantly got nervous. My family saw and I could see how curious they were with why I called this.
"Are you going to tell us why we're here Clarissa?" My father asked.
"Yes." I said as I took my seat. "I'm sorry."
"What for?" My mother asked.
"I shut myself off from the world after everything happened. I shut you all out, and I shut my friends out, and I retreated into myself and just left a shell for you guys to see, and I'm really sorry that the one place where I'm supposed to feel safe, and loved, got turned into a place where I was scared, and alone." I said.
"Oh sweetheart. We don't blame you for that." My mother said.
"I know, but it wasn't fair to you guys. I know it hurt you when I put on a show for the world. I could see it. You didn't deserve basically losing me." I said and my mom took my hand in hers.
"You had every right to grieve in whatever way you deemed necessary." My mom said.
"What brought this on?" Jonathan asked.
"At the ball, Jace and I talked. He told me that I should allow myself to be happy." I said.
"He doesn't understand the emotionless Clary?" Jonathan asked with a laugh.
"He understands it, and he told me that he can handle it, but that doesn't mean I also can't be happy. And he made a good point. I completely removed myself from everything that made me happy, and smile, and laugh all because of what happened, and that's no way to live life." I said and they nodded. "This meeting was just a chance for me to say sorry. I know it's been hard for you, and I'm sorry I didn't make it any easier."
"We understand Clarissa. But know, you have never once made it difficult for us." My father explained. "Sure we had to adjust to your new self, but that didn't mean it changed anything for us. We still love you, and we'll still do everything in our power to help you."
"I have one request." I said and he nodded. "I want to have a meeting with him."
"Clarissa." My father started but I stopped him.
"I need answers dad. I need to know why, and I think if I know that, I can finally move on." I said and I knew he wasn't happy, but he understood.
"I'll talk to my men immediately. But I don't want you going alone." He said and I nodded.
"Jace is coming in a few days. He can come with me." I said and they looked confused. "We're going to be married in a couple of months. He deserved to know what happened."
"Are you sure Clarissa?" My father asked.
"I'm sure. I'm starting to trust him, and I believe that this will only build on that trust." I said and he nodded.
"Very well. I'll make that call today." He said and I stood up and walked over to him.
"Thanks daddy." I said and I felt him laugh.
"It's been awhile since I've heard you call me that." He said with a smile on his face. I smiled as I hugged him and knew that this was the right thing to do, and after this meeting I can finally forget about him and move on.
Time Jump – One Week Later
Jace POV:
Clary had informed me that we were going somewhere today but wouldn't tell me where. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Going to a place where I had no idea what was going to happen was nerve wracking. I was standing in the foyer waiting for her when I heard the footsteps descending the stairs. Clary wasn't dressed like she normally would be for a public outing, which only heightened my curiosity as to where we were going.
"You ready?" She asked and I nodded and we made our way to the car. She took out the keys, which surprised me and got into the drivers side. I got into the passenger side, and I guess I looked confused because she laughed. "Where we are going, I didn't want anyone else there who didn't need to be."
"Are you ever going to tell me?" I asked as she started the car and we began driving.
"I took your advice into consideration." She said. "There is only one way that I'm going to be able to lay to rest my past, and start being who I was before I shut down, and that's if I have some answers."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"We're going to the place where the man who took advantage of me is being held, and I'm going to get some answers." She said and my jaw dropped.
"Are you sure?" I asked and she took a deep breath.
"I'm not sure. I don't know how I'll react after seeing him, or if I'll just shut down even more after our meeting, but if I don't do this, I don't think I'll be able to move on." She explained.
"So why bring me along?" I asked.
"My father didn't want me to go alone, and we are getting married soon, and you deserve to know what happened." She said and I nodded.
"Do I get a shortened version of the story before we get there, or am I going to just learn as we go?" I asked.
"I'll tell you. This is a pretty long drive." She said and I nodded. "It started when I was 8. I was playing with some toys in the living area when he came in and sat next to me. I didn't think anything of it. I had known the man my whole life, and I figured he was just coming to say hi. I didn't realize what he was doing until his hand brushed my leg. I thought it was weird, and thankfully my mom called me to have a snack and I got up and left." She explained. "The next time it happened was a couple months later. We were all eating dinner and he took the seat next to me, and he rested his hand on my thigh. I was about to say something when he pinched me, and I nearly cried. I figured if I spoke, he'd pinch me again, and I didn't want to be in pain again so I kept my mouth shut. That went on for a couple months." She said as she took a deep breath. I knew it might bring back some unwanted memories, but I placed my hand on her thigh to let her know I was there. "When I was 9, my father had to go out of the country, and my mom went with him. Jonathan and I were left with the staff, and I woke up when I felt someone climb into my bed with me. At first I thought it was Jonathan, but when I opened my eyes, it was him. He smiled at me and pulled me close. He didn't do anything but stroke my hair, and rub my legs. I started crying, but he slapped me on the ass and told me to be a good girl, and I immediately stopped crying and shut my mouth."
"You don't have to continue Clary." I said but she shook her head.
"That went on for years. The touches, the glances, the punishments if I acted out. I wanted so desperately to tell my parents but he told me that they wouldn't believe me, and that he'd punish me." She said. "So I kept quiet. He would pretend that everything that was happening was appropriate and I slowly died on the inside."
"He didn't, touch you in appropriately, did he?" I asked and she was quiet. "How long did it take him to get to that point?"
"That didn't start until I was almost 12." She said quietly and it took everything in my not to scream. "He got meaner, which caused me to stay silent."
"Did he ever…you know…rape you?" I asked hesitantly.
"He tried, but before he could do any significant damage I screamed and Jonathan came running in. I don't think I would have ever been able to recover from that. Jonathan beat him up, and than my father had him taken away. I haven't seen him since I was 17." She explained.
"I can't believe that went on for almost 10 years." I said and she shrugged.
"It didn't happen every day. Sometimes my father would send him out to other kingdoms, where he was gone for weeks or months, and I was thankful for those times."
"Still, no child, or teenager should ever have to go through that." I said and she looked over at me and gave me a small smile. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me."
"You aren't a bad guy Jace, and over the past couple months you have proved that I can trust you, and I'm working on that still." She said and I smiled.
We were in the car for a couple more hours until we pulled up to a house that was extremely secluded. Clary parked the car and we both got out. I could already tell that she was nervous. I walked over to her and took her hand in mine. She seemed to relax a little, but I knew once we entered that house, everything was going to change.
We walked up and Clary knocked on the door. A moment later a man answered it and walked us in. they stopped us in the living room and had us take a seat on the couch while they got him ready. I hadn't let go of Clary's hand yet, and I didn't plan on letting go any time soon. I leaned over and pressed a kiss to her temple and she seemed to relax a little more, but that all went away when two men walked back into the room.
"We're ready for you now Princess." The one man said and Clary and I both stood. "Only the Princess."
"Like hell." I said and Clary gripped my hand to calm me down.
"The deal was that he came with me. He can't back out of that now." Clary said and the two men nodded. Clary and I made our way into the room and he was sitting in a chair, chained to the floor, and even though I could tell he couldn't move, I still didn't like it.
"Clarissa darling, it's been too long." The man said as Clary and I took our seats.
"Not long enough Hodge." Clary said and the man smirked.
"Did you miss me?" He asked as he licked his lips, and anger filled me.
"No." Clary simply said.
"Who have you brought with you today Clarissa?" He asked seemingly ignoring what Clary just said.
"My fiancé." Clary said and I could see his eyes darken.
"No need to lie my dear Clarissa." He said.
"She isn't." I said. "We're getting married in 3 months." I said and he didn't take his eyes off Clary.
"Did you not understand that you are mine Clarissa?" He hissed and Clary squeezed my hand.
"She isn't yours. She's mine." I said through gritted teeth.
"Oh please, I think I left enough of an impression on her that she'll never be able to give herself to anyone else." He said with a smirk and I stood up, walked over to him, and punched him in the face. The first hit was out of anger, and the second one for Clary, but after the second I was pulled away and forced back in my seat. He still had a smirk on his face, but this time it was covered in blood, which made me feel better. I looked over at Clary and instead of seeing fear, or sadness in her eyes, I saw a little glimmer.
"Thank you." She said and I took her hand in mine again.
"Anything for you." I said and she smiled.
"I'm here for answers Hodge. I want to know why you did what you did all those years ago." Clary said and he laughed.
"And why would I tell you that?" He asked.
"Because I can make sure your seclusion turns into a whole lot more than just sitting in a house all day." Clary said, and she sounded so incredibly strong, which was new for me. "I can make your life a living hell, just like you did for me."
"What do you want to know?" He asked after a moment.
"Why me?" She asked.
"You were a beautiful girl. I just couldn't help myself." He said as his eyes raked over Clary's body. "If I only knew you'd grow up to be even more beautiful I would have made sure I was more careful."
"You don't regret anything you did to me?" Clary asked.
"Not one bit." He said and Clary gripped my hand tighter.
"My father trusted you, why break that trust?" Clary asked.
"Because I could get away with it. Your father and I go way back, and the fact that he trusted me, made it easier." He said.
"You're sick." Clary said and he just laughed. "So the only reason you did it was because you wanted too?"
"No. I wanted to hurt your father." He said. "He was never fit to be king. He was such a fucked up teenager. He didn't have the confidence, or the will to be king. He shouldn't have taken the crown."
"So punch him in the face, don't go after his daughter." I said before Clary could speak.
"Valentine is an excellent fighter. Punching would do no damage." Hodge explained.
"There is a special place in hell for you." I said and he laughed again.
"We're leaving." Clary said as she got up and walked out of the room.
"Don't be a stranger Clarissa! Visit again sometime." He called after her. I stood up and looked at the two men standing next to him. They both stepped aside and I went over and punched him one more time for good measure. I made my way out to the car and Clary was now sitting in the passenger seat crying. I got into the drivers seat but didn't start the car. I didn't know what to do for Clary. I had never seen her express this much emotion before, and there was just something so incredibly heartbreaking about seeing her this incredibly vulnerable.
I did the one thing that I knew she needed. I put the car in drive and got us far away from that house. Once I felt like we were far enough away, I pulled the car over and put it in park. Clary was now staring out the window with a dead expression on her face. I knew today was a toss up. It would either go well, or horribly wrong, and I think it went with the latter. I got out of the car, made my way over and opened her car door. She looked confused, and I reached my hand out and she took it hesitantly. I helped her out of the car and than I pulled her into me and gave her the biggest hug that I could. She was surprised but she wrapped her legs around my waist, and locked her arms around my neck the moment our bodies collided. I could tell that she was still crying, and that only made me hold onto her tighter. I stood there with Clary in my arms and just let her cry it out. I couldn't imagine what she was going through after that meeting, and if this was all I could do, that's what I was going to do.
When Clary finally pulled away I didn't let her go. Her eyes were swollen, and there were tear stains down her cheeks, and her eyes were bloodshot, but the only thing that I could focus on was how perfectly she fit into my arms, and how incredibly right holding her like this felt. She leaned her head on my forehead, and closed her eyes. After a few minutes she opened her eyes and they locked with mine. Her eyes kept flickering down to my lips, but I wasn't going to make the first move. This was all Clary. We were going to do what she felt comfortable with, and I wasn't going to push her. After a couple seconds, I finally thought she was going to kiss me, but instead of my lips, she moved her mouth over and kissed my cheek. To say I was a little disappointed would be an understatement, but like I said, this was all going to move at Clary's speed, and if this is all she could handle today, than that was fine with me.
After she pulled away and our eyes locked again, she carefully unlocked the death grip around my waist, and I slowly put her down. Neither of us said anything, and I don't really think we were quite ready to talk about today, so I simply, opened her car door, and she climbed back in. I took a deep breath and than made my way over to the drivers side and continued on our way home.
Clary POV:
God, I'm such an idiot. I had prime opportunity to kiss this man that I was going to marry, and I decided to plant a soft, sweet kiss on his cheek? What kind of loser am I? He had listened, and heard about my horrible past, confronted the man that I have been incredibly scared of for the past decade of my life, he punched him, twice, and all I reward him with is a kiss on the cheek? Jeez, if I were anymore socially inept I would have kissed his freaking hand.
I continued to stare out the window as Jace drove us back to the kingdom. I couldn't even look at him I felt so ashamed. He didn't look mad, or annoyed when he finally put me down. Actually, he looked rather content, but that didn't always mean that that's what the person was feeling. Hell, I've been putting up a wall for years, and nobody questions me, so how the hell am I supposed to know if Jace was really content? For all I know he's pissed, or disappointed, or anything really.
"Clary, we're home." I heard Jace say. I didn't realize how far gone I was in my head. "I took the liberty of calling ahead, and there is a bath waiting for you in your room so that you can relax and forget about today." He said and my jaw nearly dropped. I didn't deserve this guy. I didn't deserve anything he was doing for me.
"Thank you." I simply said and we got out of the car. I half expected him to leave my side the minute we entered the castle, but I should have known he was going to walk me to my room.
The whole walk up there I was gathering the courage to kiss him. I couldn't help but sneak a few peaks at him as we walked in the most comfortable silence up to my room. He was safe, and he was strong, and he made me feel safe, and strong, and that's something nobody was able to provide for me before. When we finally got to my room, we both lingered for a moment before he started to speak.
"I'm sorry today turned into a miserable day, but I hope you got some answers you were looking for." He said.
"I don't think I'll ever fully hear his real reasoning. He's twisted, and I think keeping that information from me is his last resource of having power and control over me." I said and he nodded. "But today was definitely eye opening."
"How so?" He asked as he leaned against the doorframe.
"For one, I feel like we got a little closer." I said and he nodded. "Now you know the reason behind my emotionless attitude, and now if I ever cocoon myself, at least you'll know why. And even though I may never get the answers I want, I can finally lay him to rest and move on." I explained.
"Even though you still don't have a concrete reason?" He asked.
"I never really expected to get one. I needed to go, and see him, and show him that he didn't end my life. He didn't ruin who I am. He doesn't have control over me, and he never will again." I said. "In the back of my mind, I always knew that he was taking advantage of me. I always knew this was on his conscious, and not on mine, but at the same time, I always felt like I could have done something to prevent it, or stop it." I said as I shook my head. "I could have worn different clothes, I could have spent less time alone, I could have told my parents the minute I started feeling uncomfortable around him, but I didn't. I wore what I wanted, I was alone because I liked it, and I didn't tell because he scared me. But here I am, at 21 years old, and I'm still living, I'm still growing, and I'm starting to forgive myself, and I think that's something he thought he could destroy, and I hope as he rots in that house, he realizes that he may have severely wounded me, but he didn't kill me." I said as I looked up at Jace. "And I hope that thought kills him everyday."
"You truly amaze me Clary." Jace said and I smiled and shrugged. "No seriously. You handled today so incredibly well, and I couldn't be any prouder of you. You faced your demon, and you won."
"I could have been stronger, but I'm just impressed I didn't cry in front of him." I said with a laugh.
"Who cares if you cried. Crying is okay. Its an emotion that proves that you are still human, and that you still feel things, and that you still have a heart, and a soul." Jace said. "Crying isn't a sign of weakness Clary, it's sign of perseverance, and growth. If something makes you cry, than cry. Let it out of your system and learn from it. That's what life is all about. Making mistakes and learning to better yourself because of them."
"I'm glad you were there with me today." I said and he smiled.
"All you have to do is ask, and I'll do anything for you Clary." Jace said and I realized that it was now or never.
"There is something I want to do." I said and he opened his mouth to speak but I took the plunge and pressed my lips to his. He was surprised for about 2 seconds before he started kissing me back. I don't know how long we stood there kissing, but I felt like I couldn't get enough of him. When we finally did break apart we were both breathless. "I'm sorry that took me so long." I said and he laughed.
"I was willing to wait as long as you wanted too." He said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I want you to progress this relationship at the speed you're comfortable with. Especially knowing your past. I don't want to trigger anything, and I don't want to push you past your limits. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, like a kiss, I'm not going to force you into it." Jace said and I smiled.
"You are so incredibly patient." I said and he shrugged with a smile.
"We have the rest of our lives to progress in this relationship. I wouldn't care if it took us up until our wedding day to share our first kiss, because I get to kiss you for the rest of my life." He said and I laughed.
"You sure about that?" I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.
"I'm pretty sure." He said and I smiled.
"You're right." I said and he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into him and I let out a laugh.
"I'm glad we can progress, and grow together Clary, and I can't wait to see where this relationship goes without anyone forcing us to enter it." He said and I smiled. "Now, your bath is probably going to get cold, and I think you deserve it after today."
"Thank you. For everything you did today, including punching Hodge twice." I said and he laughed.
"I actually punched him three times. Once after you left." He said and I laughed.
"Nice." I said and he smirked.
"Couldn't let him off the hook that easily." He said and I opened my door.
"I'll see you at dinner." I said and he nodded and kissed my forehead before walking about. I got into my room and closed my door just as Rose walked out of the bathroom.
"Your bath is ready Princess." She said and I smiled and walked over to the bathroom.
"Thank you Rose." I said with a smile.
"It's good to see you smile again Princess. We've missed it around here." She said and I gave her a hug.
"I have a feeling you'll be seeing it a lot more." I said and she smiled back at me.
"You've got yourself a good Prince there Princess." She said and I couldn't stop the grin on my face.
"Yea I do." I said. She bowed and left my room. When I got into the bath I reflected on the day I had and realized that I had gotten a lot more good out of this day, than bad, and I was going to cherish that.
Jace POV:
After I left Clary to take her bath I made my way into the kitchen for a snack. When I walked into the kitchen I was greeted by Clary's whole family, and they were all smiling from ear to ear. I made my way over to them and Queen Jocelyn pulled me into a hug.
"We can't thank you enough Jace." Queen Jocelyn said as she pulled away.
"For what?" I asked.
"We haven't heard her really laugh in years." Jonathan said and I smiled.
"We figured out a lot of things today that will hopefully strengthen our relationship, and allow us to grow and move on from the past and start our future off without any baggage." I said.
"So the meeting with Hodge went well?" King Valentine asked.
"No. It was nightmare. If there weren't two men to stop me, I would have given him more than a bloody lip, and a swollen eye." I said and Jonathan laughed.
"You punched him?" He asked.
"Three times. The first time, I was just angry. He was saying disrespectful things to Clary, and I didn't like it. The second time was for Clary. I felt like she wanted to do some damage but something was stopping her, so I took the liberty of doing it for her. And the third time was a parting gift." I said and King Valentine and Jonathan laughed.
"It's good to know that son of a bitch got hit." Jonathan said.
"I can't do much about him, and I figured I would never see him again, so I had to do something." I said and they all nodded.
"We're thankful you went with her, and that she's starting to open up to someone. We've been trying to get her to talk for years." King Valentine said.
"She's still pretty closed off, but I can work with that." I said and they smiled.
"Well, dinner should be ready in about an hour, so we'll see you than." Queen Jocelyn said and I nodded and grabbed an apple and left the kitchen. Today was an interesting day, but I was happy that Clary and I have reached a point where we can actually see where this relationship goes and get to know more about each other.
Time Jump – One Year Later
Clary POV:
Celine and I had a lunch today with some other royals in the kingdom, and it was interesting, but I just couldn't wait to get home. I knew what responsibilities came with being a Princess. I mean, I've been a Princess all my life, but I had to learn about an entirely new country, and that was really tough. Today was also a bad day for me. I didn't feel like being out in public, or putting on a show, but this lunch was organized 4 months ago, and I couldn't back out, so it took all of my energy to put on that performance, and my bed was calling my name.
I didn't even bother to find anyone. Once my feet entered the castle, I immediately went up to Jace and I's room. I was planning on getting into my PJ's and not leaving my bed for the rest of the day. Jace was out with his father and some friends playing Polo, so I figured I wouldn't see him for another couple hours, and it was the perfect opportunity to take a nap. Since Jace and I got married, I would say I've had more good days, than bad days, but that didn't mean that they still didn't affect me as much as they used too. And having someone as supportive as Jace was really encouraging.
Jace POV:
I had just finished my game of Polo, and I went to go find Clary. Today was the one year anniversary of the first time we kissed, and I felt like that was worth celebrating. It was a symbol of the progression and truly the start of our relationship, and I think that's what makes it so special.
I walked into the house and I looked in all the usual places where Clary would be. I knew she went out with my mom today, but I figured she'd be back by now. I took a deep breath and thought about where Clary might be, and than it hit me. I started making my way up to our room, and when I opened the door, sure enough I saw a little mound on the bed. I smiled to myself, and made my way over to her. I got into bed and she opened her eyes. She looked sad, and almost like she was shrinking into herself. I opened my arms, and she scooted over and I pulled her close to me. I heard her sniffle, and I started rubbing her back to calm her down.
"I'm having a bad day." She said softly, and I pressed my lips to the top of her head.
"Just tell me what you need, and you got it." I said as she snuggled closer to me.
"I just need you." She said and I couldn't help but smile.
"You have me." I said and I felt her nod. We didn't talk the rest of the time we laid in bed. I heard her sniffle occasionally, and I continued to rub her back to show that she had my support. "I love you." I said after a while.
"I love you too." She said and I nodded. Clary might take years to grieve everything she's been through, but I knew that we could make it because no matter what, she would always have my love, and support whenever she needed it, and I knew that was a two way street, and that's all I could ever want in a marriage. Clary would never truly be the same person she was when she was little. But I saw her progressing each day, and sure she had bad days, but when I saw her smile, or I made her laugh, those were the moments that made it worth it, and I planned on keeping her smiling and laughing for the rest of our lives.
Authors Note:
I'm not quite sure who requested the Prince and Princess story, but here it is! I know it might not be what you originally wanted, but this was how it turned out. I truly just let my creativity flow on this one, and I really enjoy it, and I hope that whoever requested it likes it as well! Let me know what you think, and I promise that I'll get started on my next one shot soon! :)
