Fifty Eighth One Shot:
Confusion
Clary POV:
We had all just graduated high school, and were getting ready to spend a couple days at the beach before we all went away with our families and headed off to college. I'm not going to lie, I'm really going to miss all these guys, especially because I'm actually going to college in a different country. It would be weird at first, but it's something that I really wanted to do, and it was now or never, and I decided that I didn't want to live life with any regrets, and I knew I'd regret not taking this chance. I was pulled out of my thoughts when my best friend pulled up to my house. He got out of the car and flashed that gorgeous smile at everyone and I nearly melted. Okay, so maybe I'll live with one regret, but you can't win them all.
Jace Herondale, the hottest guy you'll ever meet, and also, when he decided you're worthy enough, the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. We became fast friends in middle school, and that soon turned into being best friends, and yup, you guessed it, that soon turned into me falling in love with him. I tried to get over it. I even dated this one guy earlier on in the school year, but he turned out to not be as nice as he appeared and I quickly broke it off. Jace dated too, but what can you expect from a hot guy. Girls were constantly fighting to get hit attention, and if I was more confident, I might be as well.
"Hey Fray, you in there?" I heard and I looked up and Jace was standing there. "I thought I was going to need to send a search party to come find you." He said and I laughed.
"You know how I get lost in my own head." I said and he smiled.
"That I do." He said. "Come on, you're coming with me." He said as he grabbed my bag and threw it into his car. I got into the passenger seat and waited for him and the other two people coming with us. Of course it was going to be Alec and Magnus because Simon and Izzy couldn't be separated for more than 5 minutes or they both start to whine, and I didn't want to be stuck in a car with Kaelie, Aline, and Sebastian (who by the way is the guy I dated earlier). Kind of weird that he's coming, but he was kind of a friend of all of ours, although we aren't really sure how he got there, and Kaelie and Aline are friends with Izzy, and sometimes they are pretty chill, but who knows how spending a week with them will be.
The car ride took about 4 hours, and we jammed the whole way down. Jace and I understood each other. We liked the same music, sang duets together all the time, and loved making fun of Alec and Magnus when they were together, but they were just too cute not to. I wanted what they had, but I couldn't with the person I desperately wanted to be with.
When we finally got to the hotel, we all broke apart. The girls headed to our room, while the boys headed to theirs. We were on the same floor, but about 3 doors away from each other. Our parents would only allow us to go together if our rooms didn't have a joined door. It was worth that one sacrifice to be able to spend these couple days together, and we might not even spend that much time in our room if we're hanging out doing everything else.
"Okay, let's just put our stuff down and hit the beach to catch the sunset." Izzy said and everyone agreed. We went down the hall and knocked on the boys door and Jace answered.
"What's up Fray?" He asked and I smiled.
"We were thinking about going to the beach to catch the sunset, would you boys like to join?" I asked and Jace turned around.
"Guys, wanna catch the sunset with the girls?" He called back and as answered with a bunch of yeas. "We're in."
"Cool. Meet us down in the lobby." I said and he shut the door.
By the time the boys got down there, we were afraid we were going to miss the sunset, but thankfully we got there just in time, and we weren't the only ones admiring the beautiful picture. Although, I was soon brought out of my trance when I heard a bunch of girls giggling, and when I looked over they were openly gawking at Jace, who was smirking and winking at them like he always does. He was such a flirt, sometimes I wondered if he was really ever going to get into a serious relationship. By the time the sunset, we all started heading back to the hotel when Izzy spoke.
"I don't want to go back and sleep just yet." She said.
"What do you suppose we do?" Alec asked.
"I saw this poster for a Hawaiian show just down the boardwalk, let's check it out." She said with a smile. Everyone agreed and we started walking when I shivered. I instantly regretted not bringing a jacket. Suddenly I feel fabric drape over my shoulders and look up to see Jace.
"Thanks." I said and he smiled.
"Don't mention it." He said and we continued to walk in silence. We finally got to the Hawaiian show it was packed. There were belly dancers, and fire throwers, and a ton of Hawaiian food. Of course being the starving teenagers that we are, we pigged out on the food and enjoyed the Hawaiian experience.
It ended at about 10:30, and we all decided to just walk around and see what else this place had to offer. Towards the end of the boardwalk there was the building and inside there were just hammocks, and mats that people were resting on, and it had been a long day so a couple of us (the ones who weren't coupled up and making out) went in to just relax. I sat on the ground and leaned against a pillar trying my hardest to stay away.
"Don't fall asleep on me now Fray." Jace said and I laughed.
"It's been a long day Jace." I said and he smiled. He grabbed his phone and started playing You & Me by Marc E. Bassy ft. G-Eazy. I couldn't help but laugh because he started dancing. He looked absolutely ridiculous but I couldn't get the smile off my face. I loved this side of Jace, and I never wanted to leave him, but we both had plans for our future, and that took us away from each other.
Finally we decided to go back to the hotel, or at least the people who were with us. When we got back to the hotel I realized that I was the only girl. The others were out, and I really didn't want to be alone, so I followed Jace into his room. It was just Jace, Sebastian and I, and I took a seat on the one bed, while Sebastian laid on the other. Jace came over and laid down next to me.
"Pull the covers over you." He whispered into my ear, which caused me to shiver. I did as he told me. "Sebastian has been eyeing you up all night." He said and I nodded.
I stayed there until Izzy texted me and asked where I was. By this time Sebastian was passed out, Jace wasn't far behind, and when I opened the door, there stood Simon, Alec and Magnus. I said my goodnights and went back to my room and went right to bed.
Time Jump – Next Day
Clary POV:
Today was pretty simple. We all went to the beach for the majority of the morning, but as we were leaving the beach, all the boys spotted an arcade. They all ran and the girls simply laughed and followed. As we sat there and watched them play, Jace came over and rested his head on my lap. This was normal for us, especially when we were in this type of situation. We just always found ourselves using each other as pillows, but I didn't mind.
After a while of being lost in Jace's head on my lap, I realized that everyone left. Jace and I laughed and made our way back to the hotel. It was a little after 1, and we were going to get lunch, and we needed to change. After I was decent, I went down to his room to see if he was ready. The door was propped opened so I just walked right in, and I heard Jace on the phone so I just took a seat on the bed and waited for him to be finished.
"They said they would meet us downstairs in 30 minutes." He said as he took a place on the bed next to me.
"Sounds good." I said and he nodded.
We laid there talked about college, and the future. He got up to get a drink of water, and I sat up and eyes spilled out of my eyes. I was really going to hate leaving everyone, but especially him. When he came back out he noticed something was wrong and walked over towards me.
"What's wrong?" He asked as he wiped the tears from my eyes.
"I'm just really going to miss everyone." I said and he smiled.
"Same, but college is going to be so much fun Clare." He said and I shrugged. "Come on, you have to be excited for at least some portion of it."
"I'm not great at making friends Jace. Before we became friends, Simon was the only one I had." I said.
"It's going to be okay Clary. If some people don't like you, fuck them. You're an amazing person." He said and I wanted so desperately to roll my eyes and tell him that if I was so amazing, why couldn't he just see that we would be so good together.
"I guess." I said and before I knew it Jace was pulling me into him. I think he knew that I needed some comfort, and I wasn't going to tell him to stop any time soon. As we hugged, I felt his hands running through my hair, and I was instantly relaxed. There was just something about being this close to him that was really comforting.
I don't know how long we were like this, but we soon realized that we had never been this close to each other for this long, and I was about to pull away when Jace pushed me back gently and he was hovering over top of me. We were completely against each other, and when I say completely, I mean completely. His eyes were locked with mine, and I melted. My body was igniting, and my head was in a daze, and before I knew it, he was kissing my neck. Nothing in the world felt so good, and I never wanted him to stop. I was completely lost in the moment until I realized that anyone could walk through that door. My eyes snapped open and I pushed Jace off of me and ran. I didn't know what else to do but run. I got back to my room and just started crying. Everything that just happened was confusing, and I knew that it couldn't happen again.
I tried to avoid him for the rest of the day, and I was successful, until everyone decided to go back to the arcade, and Izzy convinced me to come. I didn't want too, but this was our last week to be together like this, so I gave in. We were there until a little after midnight and I just needed to go back.
"Iz, I'm gonna leave. I'm so tired." I said and she smiled and hugged me.
"Of course. Thank you for coming even though you didn't want too." She said and I laughed and waved goodbye. I started walking when I heard footsteps behind me and when I looked back Jace was running towards me.
"Where are you going Fray?" He asked.
"Back to my room. I'm exhausted." I said and he nodded.
"I'll walk you. I was getting tired of kicking Sebastian's ass anyway." He said and I just nodded and continued to walk.
"Wait!" We heard and we both stopped and turned around and saw Aline running towards us. "You guys heading back?" She asked and we nodded. "Good. I was so bored." She said and we laughed and all three of us walked back to the hotel.
When we got up to our floor, Aline and I made our way to our room when we heard Jace curse. We looked over at him and he turned around and smiled.
"I don't have a key." He said and I shook my head.
"Come stay with us for a little." Aline offered and Jace made his way over to me.
We got into the room and I turned the TV on immediately. I didn't feel uncomfortable because Aline was there, and we couldn't exactly discuss what happened earlier which I was thankful for. I flipped through the channels until I landed on some cooking show and gave up. I looked over and Aline was literally asleep! She left me to fend for myself with Jace! I laid in my bed, and Jace made his way over and laid with me. We didn't speak, we just faced each other and he was drawing patterns on my side. I don't know how long we laid there, but I felt myself nod off and I opened my eyes and decided that if I was that tired I would just get ready for bed.
I went into the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. Someone would be back soon. At least I hope someone would be back soon, because the tension between Jace and I is incredibly high and I don't know how much longer I can handle it. When I was finally calm I opened the bathroom door and there stood Jace.
"Jace." I said and he walked in. "You should really get some sleep. I'll wake you up when someone comes looking for you."
"I don't want to sleep." He said.
"So what do you want to do?" I asked hesitantly.
"This." He said. He took my hand and pulled me into him. I didn't know what was happening until he started swaying side to side. We were dancing. In a bathroom. Slowly. To say I was confused would be an understatement, but I rested my head on his chest and just let it happen. After a little while of dancing he randomly took my waist and picked me up and placed me on the ledge of the sink. His eyes locked with his and he leaned forward and pulled me into a hug. His arms locked around my waist, and my arms locked around his neck. We stayed like that and I started rubbing my hands up and down his back and he shivered. I went to back away but he didn't let me go. His lips touched my ear and whispered.
"You make me shiver." I nearly lost it. I pulled back and leaned my forehead against his.
"Jace." I whispered and he smiled.
"Don't think Clary." He said and I nodded. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and fireworks went flying. I locked my legs around his waist and he pulled me into him. Our lips moved in perfect rhythm, and I never wanted this feeling to go away. We were completely lost in each other when I heard the door open. Jace and I broke apart and I heard Izzy talking. The next thing I know the bathroom door is opening and Izzy is standing in the doorway.
"Why are you two in the bathroom?" She asked and I looked at Jace.
"Clary wasn't feeling well, and I came to see if she was okay, and we didn't want to wake Aline with our talking so we just kinda stayed." Jace said like it was the actual truth.
"Oh. Okay. Well come on, let's go to bed. We have to be out of here at 9 am tomorrow." Izzy said as she left.
"Clary…." Jace said but I cut him off.
"Goodnight Jace." I said and I made my way out into the room. Jace left shortly after without saying goodnight. I knew something had happened in that bathroom, but we were leaving soon and I honestly had no idea if he actually had feelings for me, or if this was just his way of a nice send off, but it kinda scared me because this was what I always wanted, but didn't think I'd ever get.
Time Jump – A Couple Days Later
Jace POV:
It had been a couple days since we got back from the beach and I hadn't seen Clary at all, which was weird for me. We were always spending as much of our free time together as we could. But today I finally got to see her, but not for a great reason. She was leaving today to go study in another country, and I've been dreading it ever since she told me. Losing Clary was going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, and I don't know how I'm going to do it.
I got to her house and the usual gang was already there. Jocelyn was packing the car and Izzy was currently squeezing Clary half to death. I got out of my car and made my way over to them and I heard Izzy talking.
"You have to call me as soon as you land, and every day to let me know what's going on. Keep in the loop of all the hot guys, and how people dress, and the weather." Izzy said and Clary laughed.
"The weather Iz? You want me to keep you updating on the forecast?" She said and Izzy rolled her eyes.
"You know what I mean. You have to keep me in the loop." She said and Clary took her hands.
"You know we'll talk all the time Iz." Clary said and Izzy started to sniffle.
"I love you Clare." Izzy said.
"I love you too Iz." Clary responded and in that moment I was jealous that Izzy could confess her love, and I couldn't. Wait, did I just say love? Since when did that come into the equation? I asked myself but than realized, it's always been there.
"Can I hug my best friend now Izzy?" I said and they turned towards me.
"She's all yours." Izzy said and I couldn't help but think that she wasn't. Not in the way I wanted.
"It's going to be weird without you Fray." I said and she smiled.
"You'll find another redhead to annoy I'm sure of it." She laughed and I smiled.
"But they won't be you." I said and she gave me a sad smile.
"We'll keep in touch. If you want weather reports as well, all you have to do is ask." She said and I laughed and pulled her into me.
"Stay safe over there." I said in her ear and I felt her nod. When we finally broke apart I wanted nothing more than to kiss her but her mom interrupted us.
"We have to go Clary. You're flight leaves in a few hours, and airports are a nightmare." Jocelyn said and Clary nodded.
"I love you all." Clary said. "Don't miss me too much."
"I miss you already Biscuit." Magnus said and she laughed.
"Bye." She said as she walked away. I watched her get into that car and drive away and I instantly felt like something was missing.
"Come on. Lets all go back to my house." Alec said and everyone agreed and we made our way to the Lightwood's. I was out of it for sure. But I didn't realize how out of it I was until Izzy poked me.
"What's wrong with you?" She asked.
"I lied to you while we were at the beach." I said and she looked confused. "Clary and I weren't in the bathroom because she was sick, or because Aline was sleeping."
"Than why were you in there?" Izzy asked.
"Before you came in we were actually making out." I confessed.
"Finally!" Izzy shouted and now I was the confused one.
"What do you mean finally?" I asked.
"Dude, we've been waiting for you two to get together for years." Alec said.
"Seriously?" I asked and they all nodded. "Why didn't anyone tell me that?"
"You wouldn't have listened unless Clary told you, and face it, I love that girl to death, but she was never going to tell you." Magnus said.
"What happened after you kissed?" Izzy asked.
"Nothing." I said.
"Nothing?" Izzy repeated and I nodded. "Why the hell not?"
"She seemed to be avoiding me." I said.
"Classic Clary." Alec said with a laugh. "That girl has been digging herself into a hole ever since she started getting feelings for you."
"And when would that be?" I asked.
"About sophomore year of high school. I caught her staring at you, and at first I thought it was just her normal zoning out thing she does, but there was something in her eye. I could tell something was up." Izzy said. "I asked her about it and surprisingly she spilled her guts without me having to threaten to dress her up."
"Wow. I'm blind." I said and everyone laughed.
"Very." Izzy said.
"What do I do now? She's leaving." I said.
"Go to the airport and tell her how you feel." Izzy said.
"But that won't stop her from going." I said.
"No, but it'll stop her from moving on." Alec said. "Face it, Clary hasn't been able to get over you because you two were always together. When she's over there, and you aren't around her all the time, and she thinks you aren't interested, she might decide its time to let you go."
"Way to bring down the mood Alec." Izzy said.
"He's right. She tried to date Sebastian earlier this year to get over you, but it didn't work." Magnus said. "Especially because he wasn't all that nice to her."
"He's a dick." I said as I remember Clary telling me how he started treating her poorly.
"Yea, and so are you. To everyone but Clary." Izzy said. "Every single person at that school knew you had a soft spot for that redhead."
"She's my best friend." I said and Izzy smiled.
"Exactly. Now go tell your best friend that you're in love with her." Izzy said and I stood up.
"Okay. I'm going." I said as I ran out of the door.
I got into my car and rushed to the airport. Clary's flight as leaving at 3, and I had to get there before so I could tell her how I felt. The airport was a mad house, and I had no idea where I was going. I walked up to the desk and decided to ask for help.
"How may I help you today sir?" the man behind the desk asked.
"My best friend is about to board a plane, but I'm not sure where to go." I said.
"Where is the destination the plane will be landing?" He asked.
"Dublin." I said and he started typing.
"All flights from New York to Dublin are in Gates G, H, and I." He said and I nodded.
"Thank you." I yelled as I started running towards those gates. I had no idea how I was going to find her in this sea of people, but I wasn't giving up. After searching through Gate G, I made my way to Gate H. I almost gave up until I spotted a familiar head of red hair that I couldn't forget even if I tried. "Clary!" I called and she turned around.
"Jace, what are you doing here?" She asked.
"I'm an idiot." I started and she looked confused. "I didn't realize how stupid I was to never realize how incredibly smart, and beautiful and charming, and witty you are."
"What are you talking about Jace?" She asked as she put her bag down.
"You're my best friend." I said.
"You're my best friend too." She responded.
"Gate H is now boarding, all passengers please make your way to the terminal." A voice came over the intercom.
"Jace, I have to go or I'll miss my flight." She said as she picked her bag back up.
"Clary, wait." I said.
"I can't be late Jace. I'll call you when I land and we can talk." She said as she turned and started walking.
"Damn it Clary, I'm in love with you!" I yelled and everyone stopped what they were doing to stare, and Clary was frozen. Slowly she turned around and our eyes locked.
"You're what?" She asked slowly.
"I'm in love with you." I said again in a lower voice. "I wasn't teasing you at the beach. Or at least, I wasn't trying too." I explained. "I've been wondering what it would feel like to kiss you for years, and I figured why not, since we were both leaving to go to college." I said as I stepped closer to her. "I didn't expect to feel like I had just been shocked back to life when out lips touched."
"You felt that too?" She asked and I smiled.
"Yes. And all I wanted to do was keep doing it." I confessed. "I was blind, and I was a fool, and I should have known that the only girl who has ever mattered to me is you." I said and I saw her eyes start to tear. "You have had my heart since we met when we were 12 years old Clary."
"Jace." She whispered and I cupped her cheek.
"I love you." I whispered and the tears spilled over.
"I love you too." She responded. "But I can't stay."
"I know. I didn't tell you this to make you stay." I said.
"Than why did you tell me?" She asked.
"Because I want every guy over in Dublin to know you're taken." I said and she laughed.
"Is that what I am?" She asked and I grabbed her hand.
"If that's what you want to be." I said and she smiled.
"Absolutely." She said and I pressed my lips to hers. We were lost in the moment until a voice broke us apart.
"I hate to break this up, but the plane is almost done boarding miss." The voice said.
"I'll call you the minute I land." Clary said and I nodded.
"I'll be waiting." I said and she smiled.
"I love you." She said and I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face.
"I love you too." I said and she smiled and made her way over to the terminal. She turned around one more and waved before disappearing into the doors. I took a deep breath and watched as the love of my life flew off into the sky, and even though we were going to be separated, I felt like I was on top of the world.
Time Jump – Six Months Later
Clary POV:
These past six months have been interesting, but in the best way possible. I mean, how can it not when it started off by Jace asking me to be his girlfriend? It truly only got better from there. My classes were amazing, and I made friends with some girls who reminded me a lot of my friends back home. For the most part the boys were nice, but there was this one kid that just wouldn't take no for an answer. Even after I told him I had a boyfriend, he just keeps insisting that we should go out.
It was a normal day and a bunch of us were sitting outside on the picnic benches eating lunch when there was a mass silence from the whole courtyard. I had no idea what was going on but everyone seemed mesmerized.
"Who the hell is that?" My friend Emma said and I turned around and got the biggest smile on my face.
"Jace, what are you going here?" I said as I got up from my seat. I ran over and jumped into his arms and I felt him laugh.
"I thought I'd come surprise you." He said and I pulled away.
"Jace, it's the middle of the day, how did you get here from Japan?" I asked. Jace was always fascinated by the Japanese culture and when he learned that he could go to school there, he jumped at the opportunity.
"My school does this program where for two weeks we visit another country and learn about their traditions and culture, and everything, and after the two weeks are up, we write a paper on it and a whole presentation and I thought, what better place to travel than to Dublin to see you." He said and I was floored.
"So you're here for two weeks?" I asked and he smiled.
"I'm all yours for two weeks." He said and I slammed our lips together. When we broke apart I had realized that we had quite a large audience, who were still in shock. I buried my head in Jace's next and he laughed. Even though we've spent our entire relationship apart, these two weeks were going to be absolutely perfect, I just knew it.
Authors Note:
So this story was requested by WDLF, and I have to say, you really kicked my ass with this request. I felt like I was ruining your story, and that it wasn't good enough, and to top it all off, it's a lot shorter than most of my other stories, but I felt like I gave it all the aspects that you told me about, and modified a few to make the story believable, and I had to keep with the characters, so some things might not be what you wanted, but were crucial to the story! Over all, I hope you enjoyed this. I know you requested it months ago, and I'm sorry it took me so long, but please let me know what you think, and I hope that I captured what you truly wanted! Leave a review! :)
