Disclaimer
We don't own the bikes, brothers, or any "related" Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn't have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don't sue. It'd be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don't share. :Whispers in creepy voice: "My precious."
The universe
This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It's our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC.
We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us.
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tellerford/
Author Note
Sunday is going to be funday for our followers. The goal is, every week we'll be adding a new chapter on Sunday to get you ready to face that evil wench known as Monday. We hope you enjoy chapter two and PLEASE Keep those reviews coming! They are the fuel that keep our writing Bikes riding through this world.
Chapter Two
Journee
I stand in front of my closet and stare blankly at the row of clothing. I have no clue what I should wear tomorrow when Chibs comes over for lunch. Things are different now. A change occurred when Chibs lifted me into his arms and carried me to the car that night after the bar. Being plastered and wearing a maxi dress with killer heels is asking for a broken ankle and a busted face. So, I understand why he did it. What I didn't account for was what followed.
The security I experienced in his powerful arms took my breath away. A flood of emotion swept through me and shifted my intentions. The kiss he delivered on the crown of my head felt like more than a friendly exchanged. You're delusional. I spear my fingers in my wild hair and massage my scalp. I'd forgone the straightening today opting to let my curls air dry. I'm seconding guessing everything.
I worked up a menu: Potato and Leek Soup, Meat Pies with Sautéed Beet Greens and a Scottish Lemon Sugar Shortbread. Will it look like I'm trying too hard? A few days ago, I wouldn't have questioned myself. This is why I hate emotions. They complicate everything. I tug at my hair. "Thank you for a being a friend" plays and I answer the phone.
"Hey Lee, what's up?"
"Do you have any spare time today?" she asks.
"Yeah, I finished at the shop early," I say with a sigh.
"What's wrong? You sound off."
"I'm freaking out about tomorrow."
"Oh, did you decide to tell the sexy Scott you want to play Hide the Haggis?"
"Harley! This is serious." I scoff.
"What has you so upset, friend?"
"Everything! A few days ago I was all right. Today I can't even decide what I should wear let alone cook. I mean, is the outfit I have chosen too much or not enough?"
"Is this what you do every time Chibs comes over?" she asks.
"Not at all. That's why I'm lost."
"I sense a story there. How about this? You run with me to Aunt Luanne's and then we'll go shopping afterward.?"
"What are you going up to Cara Cara for?" I ask.
"Paperwork. I don't like going by myself on a busy shoot day which Fridays usually are. The wenches are catty. When they're together, they fool themselves into thinking they're badasses."
I roll my eyes. However, a person makes their money is up to them, but thinking you're better than anyone else because you're paid to spread your legs on film is stupid.
"I'm ready to ride when you are." I run my hand over the side of the bra with special flaps to conceal my knife. My father's a mean, paranoid bastard who insists I always be ready to defend myself. I never understood his concerns until the first time I had to count on that knife to get me out of a jam. This life wasn't for the faint of the heart. Only the strong survived whole, and even then, we were half-crazed. You got by the best way you could.
"I'll be there in say twenty minutes?"
"See you then."
I move to change out of my dress and into a pair of form fitting jeans ripped at the knee and an off the shoulder black t-shirt. I pull on my black chucks and use a black bandana to keep my heavy hair off my face. I'm not anticipating trouble, but I want to be ready just in case.
When people are in packs, they get a case of false bravery. If it's me and my girl or them, it'll always be the other person. I'm waiting on the couch when Lee pulls up. I grab my black hobo bag set the alarm and leave out the front door. I wave to Lee, taking in the Harley t-shirt she'd ripped strategically. She's bitched up for today too. I slip into the passenger seat.
"Are you going to stay there to work there?" I ask.
"No, I need to drop some things off and pick others up. Luanne tries to stay organized, but her business is insane. Lots of money exchanges hands in large volumes. If you don't know the business, their paperwork is like trying to read brail." She huffs.
"Well let's get through this and then we can go shopping. No better way to forget everything that's unpleasant than to spend."
"Enough about porn pussy, what's going on with you and Chibs?"
"Nothing. I mean, not yet."
"Oh my God, I love that you said not yet," Lee says as she pulls out of the driveway.
"That night when we went to The Tavern, and he decided to carry me because I was unstable, something clicked. I want to be with him. I'm tired of being stuck in the friend zone and watching him with crows because he thinks it's all he deserves. I know him, Lee. He wants a committed relationship and maybe even another family, but he won't love himself. There's no love lost between him and Fi. It's been over a long time in his heart."
"So why's he still alone?" Lee asked sounding as mystified as I feel.
"They're Catholic. I don't know if she'd give him a divorce if he asked, and his guilt kept him silent. She's a conniving bitch. Everything he's told me screams manipulation. I know because I've been there myself with Kyle. He was young and looking for love. She drew him in and played him. If I ever see that cold bitch in Charming, you'll be bailing me out."
"Holy shit, Nee."
I ball my fists and grind my teeth, furious at the way the woman gave his heart, surname and seed to betray him.
"I hate that's no one's stood up for him. He takes all the younger members under his wing. He put up with us when we were growing up with a kindness he didn't have to show. Especially given what he'd just gone through. I want to be the bitch who chases everyone who'd hurt him away. I want my happily ever after and his to be linked. I want this, Lee."
She leans over and squeezes my hand. "Then I guess we'd better get to work then."
"I don't know how to go after a guy, Lee."
"With Chibs, you won't have to. We just need to subtly let him know you're interested. Trust me?"
"With my life," I reply without hesitation.
"We got this."
"I love you, dude," I say.
"I love you too. I better be maid of honor, bitch."
I giggle, giddy with the possibilities. It's been a long time since I let myself hope with a man.
"Who else would it be? My cousins already know they're pulling bridesmaid duty," I say with a laugh.
"Your face is lighting up, and you haven't even started dating. That's saying a lot."
"You think so? 'cause yours is pretty lit up after you deal with Jax. Don't think I didn't see you grinding on him like you were trying to make him come in his pants," I say.
"Girl I know you aren't talking shit about me when you were working Chibs like you were trying to get a tip."
"What else was I supposed to do? The man is working with a serious package. I felt it and got a little, excited," I admit.
"The Scottish D has you acting all kinds of ways."
"Shut up, Ms. bump and grind with the Teller Prince who you weren't going to get in line with."
"Hey, I was proving a point," Lee protests.
"Which was what exactly?" I ask skeptically.
"Those other bitches don't have anything on me."
I snicker. "But you're not into him."
"Exactly," Lee says as if it all makes sense.
Before I can reply we reach Luanne's. The lightness flees the car as we put our game faces on and walk inside the building. The sounds of muffles moans and high pitched seemingly fake cries fills the air. I see what she meant about Friday's being busy.
We're waved in by the security that monitors the front. Luanne looks up and greets us with a happy wave.
"Hey girls. I have everything you need ready to go," She says handing over two manila envelopes to Lee.
"Anything I need to know?" Lee asks.
Luanne shakes her head. "Not that I know of. You know I'm shit with this stuff though."
"Don't worry, that's why you have me, Aunt Luanne," Lee says as they hug.
"Come here little girl. I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays." She says holding out her arms.
I give her a quick squeeze. "Good to see you too."
"How's the tattoo business doing? We can always use some models on the website if you ever need fast cash."
"It's fantastic, Aunt Luanne. Thanks for the offer, but I'm good."
"Well, keep in mind, men love that chocolate bunny look you have naturally."
This is one of the many times in my life I want to tell someone they're being racist, but don't bother.
"Thanks?"
"Well we're headed to the store Auntie. We have some money to burn, so we'll talk to you later," Lee says hooking my arm in hers and guiding me out of the porn palace.
"Why are all the women in this club trying to tell us what to do with our pussies?" I ask.
Lee bursts into laughter. "I have no clue. I guess they need to feel they can control something."
"Not my whoo haa," I protest.
We get into the car cackling like witches. I could never make it through this life without her.
After half a day of shopping we'd gone super casual with my outfit. A pair of skinny jeans with rips and a black tank top that showed a strip of skin between my belly and the top band of my jeans. I'm wearing a lightweight black sweater with white tribal patterns over it. I keep my house ridiculously chilled when my warm blooded Scott comes through. I can hear Lee in my ear. The fact that you know that says something. I fluff my hair and tie a bow into the white head scarf I'd folded up. Pleased, I move from my room into the kitchen and set up the table for tea. Years ago, Chibs had gifted me a Scottish tea set that features purple thistle. I've cherished and babied the fine china ever since, only using it when we're getting together.
I set everything out, proud of my spread with its real cream, sugar cubes, and the Irish Breakfast he likes so much, imported from England. He turned me into a tea fiend at an early age. I like mine loose leaf and in varied flavors. So much of the woman I've become was influenced by Chibs.
I hear his bike in the distance, and crows flap their wings inside my belly. I clear my throat and force myself to walk to the front door slowly. If I'm ruffled, he'll keep at me until I tell him what's wrong.
I open the door and wave at him. His wide smile as he pulls off his gloves has me melting into a puddle on my floor. Not many people are treated to the softened part of him.
"Afternoon, Lass, you look lovely today."
"You look rugged handsome as usual."
He laughs. "You know how to give a compliment. I almost believe ya."
"You should." I want to slap my hand over my mouth. It's not like me to be so bold.
He gives me an adorable boyish grin I don't think I've seen before. After all this time, I'm still peeling back his layers. He shoves his gloves into his back pocket and walks up the drive.
"You're such a Lennan." He kisses my cheek and moves past me into the house. I shiver as I follow behind him.
"I have tea ready to go," I say as we walk into the kitchen.
"How about you take a seat, and let me serve you, lovey? You went through all this trouble. We could've just gone out somewhere."
I pout. "You know I like to cook, Chibs. Who else do I have to use my skills on?"
"Some beau you've been keeping hidden from us?"
I snort. "Are you kidding? You remember how disastrous the last few tries were don't you? There's no one."
"They were gits. Had nothing to do with you. Your skin is lovely lassie. Any man would be blessed to have a good woman like ye."
I cup his face. "You're so sweet, Chibs. I wish everyone thought like you."
"They fecking should." His face clouds over with anger and I laugh as I sink into the chair he's pulled out.
"You can't fight the whole world for me."
"Aye, I could," he whispers.
I blink slowly and study his stern face. Is he showing interest? No, I'm reading too deep into his kindness. He takes a seat beside me and the moment passes.
"What're ye drinking today?"
"Irish breakfast I think."
We settle in with a cuppa.
"How've you been, Filip?" I ask, letting him know I want to know about the man beneath the cut.
"Good, tired. Me old bones need a vacation."
I laugh. "Where would you go?"
"Been thinking a lot about Scotland."
"If you go, you have to take me."
"Yea? You'd like to see me old stomping ground?"
I nod my head, excited about the prospect of a few weeks alone with him in a foreign country.
"Maybe. Seems quiet enough around here lately. Could you get the time off from the shop?"
"Yes, I think I'm past due on some time off too," I admit.
"Aye. You've been working your wee fingers to the bone."
"I couldn't let her fail. Sweet Ink is every dream I ever had when I was doing bitch duty for my apprentices."
"And now that the ship is smoothly sailing?" he asks.
"I'm back to realizing there are other areas of my life I need to work on," I mumble.
"Don't be so hard on yerself , my bonnie lass. Yer plenty young."
"I'm thirty Chibby, Soon enough my eggs will be shriveling up and dying."
He chokes on his tea, and I lean over and pat his back. "Don't worry. I've no plans of going out and randomly getting knocked up."
"I- wouldna." He clears his throat. "I know you wouldna do that. I didn't know you were so ready for kids."
"Past ready," I admit. I shake my head. "Enough of that. Are you ready for lunch?" I ask, excited to shower him with a few of his favorite dishes.
"Always."
"You have to stay in here. No helping today. I want it to be a surprise." I push back my chair and move to the kitchen tray I use for serving. I ladle the Potato Leek soup into the small white bowls I'd set up earlier. I grab the mince pies I've had warming in the oven and place them on plates. I finish the feast off with sautéed beet greens.
"What did ye do?" he asks amazed.
"I made some of your favorites. I figured it was about time you treat yourself."
"You're too good ta me."
"Don't say that until after you eat it," I say.
"Everything you cook is excellent," he says as I set his food in front of him.
His moan as he takes a sip of his soup is thanks enough. I'm on cloud nine as we eat and later do the dishes. It's the small things with him.
"Are you up for some television?" I ask as we move to the living room.
"Sure, what are ye thinking?"
"Doctor who. I've been watching it on Netflix."
"You like the Doctor lass?"
"Love him. Eleven is my favorite."
"Eleven?" He wrinkles his nose. "No, ya have to start from the beginning. Come on. I'll show you. He takes my hand and guides me to the couch. When he doesn't let go as we sit, I feel a kernel of hope grow. Maybe he's feeling the same way.
Lee
I rub the bridge of my nose as the numbers swirl together. I push back from the chair and rest my head against the seat. The phone rings at TM and I frown.
"Hello?"
"Hey Baby, I'm glad I caught you there. I need you to pull a file. We have a repo we need to do that just came in. We can't turn down the money they offered to pay for this emergency haul."
"I get it Mama. What am I looking for?"
"A file for Benson's Car. The little place just outside of town."
"Oh, I know the lot," I say as I open the drawer and flip through the alphabetically arranged files.
"Found it."
"Okay, it's for an Alex Brenner. A little four-door white Honda Accord."
"Got it. You sending someone down to collect?"
"Yeah, Jax, since he was over here for dinner. Anyone else is probably drunk as hell right now."
"I laugh. It's a Saturday night, so she's probably right. "Okay, I'll let him in and give him in the info."
"Can you ride shotgun too? I don't want him out there unprotected."
"I'll even bring the shotgun with me," I tease.
"Thank you, baby. He should be there soon."
We disconnect and I move to turn on the lights. My eyes ache as I adjust to the brightness. I'd been sitting here in the dark for far too long. I hear his bike and walk to the door to unlock it and hold it open.
"You got roped into this too?" He calls.
"No, I think you rescued me from a night in front of the computer."
"You work too hard. You should be out doing shit," Jax says.
"I'm neck deep in Porn business."
"Hah, and Luanne isn't the most organized person."
"Exactly. Reading her chicken scratch, it's like deciphering a damn code."
"That, is why I work with my hands."
My eyes flick down to the calloused hands I know feel good gliding over my skin. I'd forgotten how off the charts the chemistry between us could be. We'd spent a lot of time making out in high school until she who shan't be named came around. That ended our dalliances.
Recently I've wondered what it would feel like as adults. Too much time in a small dating pool. I mentally shake my head to clear away the lustful thoughts. He locks the door behind him and walks over to open up the bay and back out the tow truck. I move to the cabinet and remove one of the few registered guns we possess, a twelve gauge shotgun.
Most people will stop for a twelve gauge the way they won't for a handgun. Regardless of how angry they are. Which is why it's our weapon of choice when we're out on a repo. I grab my purse and follow him out, climbing into the passenger seat.
"Stay here, and I'll lock up," he says.
I pull out my iPod and plug it in, ready to inflict some torture. Most of the brothers had the same type of taste in music, Classic rock, Progressive rock and a bit of old school country. Because of us girls they were forced to listen to pop and hip hop. I called it bringing them into the twentieth century. I turn on the radio and turn on my pop hits playlist.
He returns and scowls.
"Really darling? You're going to force me to listen to this the entire drive?"
"Yeap. It's my fee for going on this ride, Teller."
"You're a real pain in my ass. You know that?"
"Oh, Darling, you ain't seen nothing yet," I say mocking his drawl.
He chuckles as he turns and moves to drive off the lot.
"I'm pretty sure I can take whatever you dish out by now, Lee. Might want to calm down all that trash talk."
"Please, I have to keep you in line."
"You think you can do that?" He asks.
To anyone who didn't know us, they'd think we hated each other, but this was just our way.
He's more family to me than my own flesh and blood.
"Oh, I know I could if I wanted to."
"You'd be the first," he teases back.
"Correction, I'd be the best."
"Big words for a little girl."
He winks.
I playfully roll my eyes
"Pst. Please."
He laughs. "Wish all girls were as cool as you."
The tone sets off an alarm. "What's wrong, Jax?"
"Between us, broke up with Wendy. She can keep the house. I only got it to make her happy. I mean that's what you do with a fiancée right?"
I silently cheer. She was never a good fit for him. He needs someone who'll force his spoiled ass to grow up. "I'm sorry, what happened?"
He sighs. "Got tired of living a lie. I'm not cut out for that life. Coming home every night, answering to her. We're too different. Hell, maybe I'm not a family man. The thought of children scares the shit out of me."
"It should. They're a ginormous responsibility that needs to be carefully thought through. Despite what your mother thinks, there's no rush to settle down if you aren't ready."
"Hah, try telling her that."
"Oh, I do, believe me. You aren't the only one who's dodging her attempts," I say.
"I won't lie. I'm grateful you and Journee are her targets as well. Otherwise, the full weight would be on me. That's frightening."
I chuckle. "She's a force of nature alright. How long are you planning on keeping this from her?"
"As long as possible. It keeps her off my back."
"What about Wendy?"
"What about her? She has a roof over her head and me still paying the bills. She's fine."
I bite the inside of my cheek, unsure if I agree with his assessment. Wendy's the type of person that needs to be with someone. Maybe we'll check on her soon.
"Are you happier now?"
"Much better without the guilt. No ones waiting home for me or being hurt by my choices."
Because you're not ready to stop being selfish. It's disappointing to me a thirty-year-old man say these things, but not surprising. Jackson Teller has been breastfed his entire life in one way or another. Everything he has was given to him. Gemma cleared his path and made it clear he'll be King someday.
It's left the poor boy nothing to work toward. Without a purpose or something to prove, you end up a lost soul going through the motions. I have no doubt he loves the club, but I wonder if he truly knows why other than it's always been what he was told to do. His growth has been stunted.
"What about you? I haven't seen you with anyone since Kick."
"There hasn't been anyone. He was an awesome boyfriend. Everyone else is subpar. He set the bar high."
"Grim Bastards take care of their old ladies pretty well from what I've seen. I'm sure fear of Menace helped with that too."
"I wouldn't date anyone who couldn't live up to my standards. Menace is just additional you'll get your ass kicked twice insurance."
"More like multiple times. We don't play when it comes to our Samcro girls. Hell, we only have two."
"Yes, you've made that abundantly clear," I say dryly thinking of the many times they'd stepped in for Journee and me over the year. Whether we wanted it or not.
"Remember that time you two decided to go to Ryan Fuller's party and Gemma found out about it?" Jax asks laughing.
"Ugh, how could I forget? You and Opie came in with your shit kickers and your prospect vests on." I shake my head as the embarrassment rushes back to me. "We were eighteen-year-old high school graduates for god's sake. Of course, we didn't listen to her when she said we couldn't go."
"What you didn't know was his father had paid to cover up a rape scandal that happened at his home during a previous party."
"It makes me sick to my stomach knowing we were walking around considering that predator a friend," I say with a shudder.
"We hated my Mom, but she had a read on everyone in town. Most of the time she was just trying to keep us safe," he says.
"You ever tell her that?" I ask.
"Fuck no, it'd be like encouragement."
I snicker. "She doesn't need any of that."
"Tell me about it." He turns off the highway. "Alright, time to go into creeper mode," he says as we turn off the main street, and onto the small through street. He kills the head light and slows to a crawl. I squint my eyes and take in the house numbers.
"There it is," he says as we find a white car in the drive. He positions the car, and I roll down the window and put the shotgun in my lap.
"You ready to do this?" he asks.
"I'm ready."
He opens the door, hops down, and runs toward the car leaving the door open. We do these things as fast as humanly possible. People hate Repo men and women, and they won't hesitate to get violent. I keep my eyes on the front door of the house. My face heats up, and my palms go clammy. The chink of chains is loud in the quiet night. My stomach clenches. He comes back to the car and hits the lever. The car begs to lift.
Ten minutes later, we're going back up the street, and I'm breathing easier.
"Nice job, partner," Jax says.
I glance over at his smirk and roll my eyes.
"You're welcome, Jack-ass."
I roll down the window and let the air cool down my body. I wipe my palms onto my pants and lean back into the seat. The wind blows my hair back, and I'm reminded of another time with Jax, the night, and silence.
The Past
I never understood what emptiness felt like until today. Numbness spreads through my body as I stare down at the mound of dirt that covers the casket, that houses my Grandmother. My last connection to my family. The only Grazer to sacrifice and love me unconditionally took her last breath a week ago and left me alone. I can't cry, and leaving this spot feels like an abandonment. She never left me. No matter what it cost her. I know raising a kid with failing health stole some of the years she had left.
Journee's arm around my waist is keeping me on my feet.
"You can't stay here forever."
We turn to find Jax walking towards us.
"The sun's going down."
I shake my head. Where else can I go? I don't want to go to the club to see everyone with their pitying eyes and condolences.
"And go where? I have no home anymore, Jax. It takes more than a structure to make a home."
"So we won't go there. We can do wherever you want darling, or go nowhere at all? Come on, let me take you away from here."
I look over to Journee. "Go. Keep her safe, Jax?"
"Always darling."
"How are you going to get home?" I ask Nee.
She points across the graveyard to Happy, who's lounging on his bike.
Satisfied that she's okay, I take Jax's hand. His warmth chases away the chill that's settled into my bones. I let go and hand over control to the man who's played a prominent part in my life for as long as I can remember. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me to his side.
"I know right now you're hurting, but I promise you, it's going to be okay."
He presses and affectionate kiss to my temple while we walk.
I believe him. He knows about loss. We arrive at his bike, and I climb on after him. As we take off the only thing that matters is the solid feel of the man in front of me, the road beneath our wheels, and the wind surrounding me. As the sun sets, my tears fall, and I hold my arms out, searching for the freedom that feels destroyed.
I pull up into Journee's driveway, grateful Chibs bike isn't here. The memories haunting me are threatening to drag me down into a dark well I refuse to sink into. I climb from the car and use my key to let myself in the front door. I disable and rearm the alarm and move into the living room. I pause when I see her passed out on the couch with a blanket covering her. She must've fallen asleep. I set on the edge of the couch and brush her curls away from her face.
Her eyes flutter open.
"Lee?" she whispers.
"Yeah baby, it's me."
"Y'okay?"
"I've been better I admit. I went on a Repo run with Jax, and it brought up some bad memories."
She pushes up, and I sit back to give her room.
"Do I need to hurt him?"
"No. I just…Grams."
"Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry." She wraps her arms around me and I nuzzle her neck with my nose, taking in her flowery scent.
"I need you tonight, Nee."
"You know I'm always here for you. You ready to go to bed?"
"Yes, it was a never-ending day." I stand and hold out my hand. I pull her up, and we make our way to the room. A comfortable silence falls as we strip down and change into pajamas. I think half of my clothes are here. We climb into her queen size pillow top, and I turn to face her. She cups my face with her hand.
"What happened, babe?"
"I don't know being out at night alone with Jax, with the wind coming into the window just triggered something."
She leans in and kisses me gently. Her petal soft lips caress my own. I moan and trace her lips with the tip of my tongue. She yields allowing me to taste her. The trust and love flowing between us soothes me. I'm re-grounded in the present as we explore each other's mouths. She's my favorite blanket, comforting, plush, and impossible to live without. I tangle my hair in her thick, soft hair and tug. She whimpers. I bite down on her bottom lip, loving the control she allows me to wield over her.
We surface for air breathing hard as we rest our foreheads together.
"I love you Journee."
"I love you too, babe. Turn around. I'll be the big spoon tonight." She wraps her arms around me and I hold them closer to my body, grateful tonight for her strength and love.
