Mo Astor Chapter Seventeen

Jax

"Do we have enough time to stop by and check on her before we have to be at the church rehearsal?" I ask as I drive to what used to be my house with Wendy.

"Unless she completely flips her shit we will. But not even she isn't stupid enough to do that. She's already scared of Journee, and this would bring Gem and Sugar down on her too."

I snort. "Not sure she's all there these days." There's a vacancy in her eyes. It's like a light was snuffed out. I can't believe she was that wrapped up in the thought of us getting marriage. The last year I was away more than I was home, and I know she knew I wasn't faithful on the road, though she never said anything. Hell, some weeks I wasn't even faithful in the clubhouse. It was a shitty thing to do, but I felt trapped.

A marriage approved, no, orchestrated by my mother felt like a lifelong sentence. At least that's how it felt.

"She say anything to you?" Lee asks.

"No. I think that's what makes me antsy. It ain't like her to just accept shit at face value. What's she up to?"

"Maybe pregnancy is kicking her ass and changing her? She's got more to worry about now."

I grunt. That might work for someone else, but I know Wendy. All she ever wanted was a family. I took that away from her. I don't think being the baby mama is going to keep her content. I been putting the money in the account and she's been using it. The house is clean, and the fridge is always reasonably stocked when we get there, so what can I say.

"What are you thinking?"

"That it makes me uneasy."

"She is getting damn close to giving birth. Might just be Daddy nerves."

Daddy. The words is still a punch to the gut. I'm going to be someone's father. Jesus, I hope I don't screw 'em up. I had a good dad. I think he'd be embarrassed by the way I've handled things. Family was a huge deal to him.

"Maybe so. I'm not exactly feeling like I have my A-game on when it comes to this kid."

"What do you mean this kid?"

The tone of Lee's voice tells me I should proceed with caution.

"Well thanks to their stubborn nature I'm not sure if it's a he or a she, so this kid."

"You mean your kid."

"Who else's would it be?" I ask glancing over at her.

"You sound totally detached from them, and they haven't even come into the world yet." She crosses her arms beneath her breasts.

"Whoa. When did we get here from where we were? What just happened?"

"You just dismissed this baby without even meeting him or her."

"No, I didn't. What the hell Harley? I'm new at this parenting thing and dealing with a slightly unstable woman at the moment, so you'll have to forgive me if I'm not living up to your expectations, but you have no clue what this is like." This is all stemming from her father. I could handle this situation with kid gloves, but I refused to let the drunk bastard have any more of a hold on her life. "I'm not going to turn into your dad. I know he's what this is about. I love my kid. I'd never just ditch them, but I'm also not sure how much control I'm going to have. I'm being realistic and for once trying to have a level head about a situation. Wendy is hella fragile right now. I don't want to make anything worse. My mom is always harping to me about how bad stress is for a pregnant woman. I'm listening even if I never say shit."

"I'm not saying you're going to be like my Dad." She whispers quietly.

"No, but that's where your head went. Wendy and I have our issues, but we're not him and your mother. I've always been straight with you. That won't change now that we're together because it would make what we have fake. I couldn't stand for that to happen after all we have been through and I sure as hell ain't letting him come between us. We got a good thing going here." I grasp her hand, placing a kiss to the back of it.

"I want what's best for the baby."

"And so do I."

She sighs. "I just know the effects this can have on a child."

"I know, babe. I had to watch it. When you hurt, I hurt. It's always been that way. I wouldn't know how to do it any differently now."

I squeeze her hand in mine.

"And I don't want you to. But if you're wrong I'm going to call you on your shit."

She locks our fingers and I can't help but smile slightly.

"I wouldn't expect less."

We reach the house, and I can't help but feel like we dodged a bullet. It's a sensitive topic we'll be revisiting as we grow closer to the birth. I know it's my child, but I don't' feel attached. It's not growing in me, and I'm not close to the mother. I don't feel it move and if it wasn't for Lee being here, I'm not sure we could get through this visits on our own. Wendy strikes me as the type who's crazy enough to try to keep the kid away from me. I'm preparing myself for that. I've seen it break too many people. I can't afford that. I know what I have riding on me. People think a legacy is an easy break, but it's got it's burdens too.

I put the car in park and brace myself for whatever I may find myself walking into. I know Lee will have my back but I can tell by looking at her face, she's still upset. Her cheeks have a pink tint, and her lips are pursed. I want to talk it out, but there's no time. We climb from the car and I knock on the door to give a warning before I pull out my key. Wendy opens the door a few moments later. She looks okay, thinner, but I know she's battling a lack of appetite as the baby grows. Her skin has a healthy appearance, and her jeans and tank top are clean.

"Why are you two so dressed up?" she asks as she opens the door and lets us in.

"Baby J's wedding rehearsal is today," I say

"Yeah, the big day is around the corner."

"Did you get an invite?" I ask trying to hide my surprise.

She chuckles. "Of course I did. Gem isn't going to be happy unless everyone she knows is there. You're both in it?"

"Best man and Maid of Honor," Lee says.

She snorts. "Figures. Come in. Nothing new to report. Everything is the same. The morning sickness is gone, but now I'm not as hungry because my belly is full."

"You need to make sure you eat for the baby's sake," Lee says softly.

She sneers. "Trust me I know what I need to do for the baby."

I cringe. She's in a mood.

"Do you need anything, Wend?"

"Oh, now you're worried about that?" She huffs.

"Wendy." I tilt my head and give her a warning glance.

She rolls her eyes. "Look, can we make this short so I can sit here in peace by myself?"

Lee holds out her hands. "We just want to help."

"You came to see if I was behaving? Well, have a look. House is clean, the fridge is clean, and I'm clean so you can go. You're at every damn appointment I have. You know as much about the kid as I do."

Lee glances over at me and I shake my head. She's in a bitchy mood. There's nothing I can do to pull her out of it, not anymore. I'm pretty sure I'm the cause of it at this point.

"Alright. We'll check back in on you soon. I guess we'll see you at the wedding."

"Yeah I guess so," She says.

I place my hand on the small of Lee's back and give her a nudge toward the door. She wants to stay and talk shit out, but you can't with Wendy. Not when she's closed off like this. It'll only escalate things and make us late for what I know will be a long drive.

"Oh it's finally happened hasn't it," Wendy whispers. I pause at the door and glance back at her confused.

"What?"

She shakes her head and gives a humorless laugh. "Nothing. Go enjoy your rehearsal." She waves us off, and my stomach aches. I'm missing something huge, but I don't have the time or the inclination to play detective for her crazy ass right now. I hurry out the door expecting to be pinged with a waffle iron at any second.

"Is she…Is that normal for her?" Lee asks.

"I want to say no, but yes. She has dark days."

"Holy shit."

"I'm sure just looking at my face has her ready to claw my eyes out."

"I'd like to see her try," Lee says.

I smirk. "Save that fire for the bed, tiger." I smack her ass laughing as she squeals.

Five hours, too many miles and an intense hour-long practice session in an honest-to-god castle later, I'm relieved to be piling up plates of food from the buffet set up for the wedding party and guests who are still flooding in. This shit is insane. I can't get over the amount of people who've come out to show respect, and I think to see who felled the loud mouth Scot who always made it clear an old lady was not on his agenda. I nod at Kozik and narrow my eyes at Walker. The once prospect who's still making eyes at my woman. Times like this I hate that we're keeping it under wraps.

I grab two forks and stalk over, placing my body between theirs as I hand her a plate.

"Good to see you came down Walker," I say.

"Had to see Chibs get hitched with my own eyes," he says with a shrug.

"Is that right?" I stare him down, and he clears his throat. "Cut looks good on you."

"Thanks, Man."

I move closer to Lee and continue to stare as I eat.

"Well, I'll catch up with you later Lee."

"Good seeing you again, Walker," she says as he gives me a nod and walks off.

"You're horrible. We never even dated."

"Not for lack of him trying," I mumble around the lasagna.

She shakes her head, but the small smile tells me she likes my possessive nature.

"When are we going to come out anyways?" I ask.

"Oh, you're aching to have that conversation."

"It's that or murder some stupid motherfucker who pushes up on you," I say honestly. I'm not the type to stalk her down and watch her every move because I'm jealous, but when shit is mine, I let it be known and guard it.

"So violent Mr. Teller."

"You knew that when you agreed to this darling," I say with a smile.

She laughs. "Better than most. My two J's with their deceiving beauty and scary ass pension for violence."

"We can't help it that we're good looking and know how to use a gun…shit, knife in her case," I say as I glance over at Baby J. She looks grown up as fuck today, and it's tripping me out. "We're getting old."

Lee snorts. "What?"

"Thirties man."

"Thirties are the new twenties. Didn't anyone tell you?" Lee sasses.

I laugh.

I love her smart mouth and quick comebacks. They keep life interesting and shit from getting too heavy.

"I'm serious look at Baby J over there all grown up and about to become my brother's wife. Half the time I still feel like we're those stupid teenagers pushing boundaries, or those twenty-year-olds partying as hard as we could."

"We all got to grow up sometime Jackson," She says.

I nod my head. I got a kid on the way and a woman I know I'm never letting go of.

Baby J's not the only one making a big commitment.