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We don't own the bikes, brothers, or any "related" Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn't have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don't sue. It'd be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don't share. :Whispers in creepy voice: "My precious."
The universe
This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It's our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC.
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A/N: So I knew from the start the wedding scene was going to be long. Which is why we're breaking it down into two parts. Don't worry you won't have to wait another week for the second half. We're going to give it to you tomorrow, so be sure to check back.
Chapter 18 Part 1
Lee
It's crazy being here about to witness this insane merger of my two families. I hug Journee from behind as we stare out the window of the hotel and take in the rising sun. We did it up big last night, having a final slumber party to end all slumber parties, just the two of us, with pizza, beer, sex talk, and reminiscing. Things were going to change after this. I could feel it, and not just because she'd be Mrs. Telford. We were both moving on to a new stage in our lives, but never apart. Journee was one of the few constants in my life. My father was good at many things, but staying sober, and parenting wasn't on that list.
The dick pawned me off every chance he could get, never showed up for anything and left me to go run shit in New Jersey without thinking for one second how it might affect me. I was always trying to be the best to get his attention. The grades, the academic extracurricular activities, and track. It never phased him. Grams and Gemma tried to patch the holes along with the brothers who stepped in for school functions, especially Tiggy. The one thing my dad got right was making him my Godfather. He took that shit mighty seriously. Which had its pluses and minuses.
I cringe thinking of the times he'd made the boy I was dating damn near piss himself. I never could see Tiggy with an outsider's perspective, but I had a decent enough imagination to guess what he must look like. Especially when he let the crazy out with those beautiful, eerie eyes that saw through to a person's soul.
I rest my head on Journee's shoulder and enjoy her warmth and the curves of her body pressed against mine.
"How are you feeling?"
"Nervous, excited, impatient, and terrified."
The last word makes me frown. "Now why would you feel that way?"
"I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Since when do I get to be happy?"
I scoff. "Since Chibby got his head out of his ass. You know he'd move heaven and hell to see you smile. He's your one."
"Yes, but am I enough?"
I spin her around to face me. The sadness in her eyes makes my gut ache. Abuse is more than putting your hands on someone. Its words and actions that work in tandem chipping away at their very image of self, and it's effects are far reaching. A bruise on skin heals. On the soul, it lingers and sinks into our DNA until we can barely separate the suggestion from our own thoughts.
I cup her face.
"You are everything. Smart, beautiful, loyal, fierce, and talented. Fuck that twat waffle and all his bullshit. He wanted to keep you caged because he knew you had a blinding brilliance that made others flock to you. He had to keep you low because he knew he wasn't fit to kiss the fucking ground you walk on. He doesn't get to intrude on your day, Journee. Just like my old man didn't get to a million times before."
She closes her eyes. She was good at talking me off the ledge when I let my past get the best of me. I can do the same for her now.
She sighs. "I just don't want to let Filip down inside the bed or out. I want to be a good old lady. He's dealt with enough shit to last a lifetime."
"And now he gets his happy ending, and you do too."
She opens her eyes. "You really believe that?"
"Bitch I wouldn't let you marry him if I didn't."
She laughs, and I grin.
"No, you wouldn't."
"You guys make so much sense I can't wrap my head around why you weren't already an item."
"Because the Scot is hard-headed," she mumbled.
I laugh thinking of her attempts at getting him to notice her over the years.
"Aye, lass," I say mocking his accent.
We giggle, and the ghosts of her ex and my father vacate the premises.
"Thanks for the Pep talk."
"That's kind of what I'm here for. Goes along with the territory of Maid of Honor."
She laughs. "You love that don't you?"
"Oh yeah. Your crazy ass cousins were hating my ass. Did you see them mad dogging me at the rehearsal dinner?"
"They knew they didn't stand a chance. They'd best be happy I even put them in the wedding. I love those girls, but I'll be damned if they don't bring drama with them everywhere they go."
"Girl, this is a Samcro, Grim Bastards wedding. I think drama is unavoidable."
"I know, a weekend of insanity is what we're in for."
"Don't act like you aren't loving it," I say nudging her with my elbow.
"All I really care about is being Mrs. Journee Rhyther Telford at the end of the day."
"Oh, is that at all?"
"And that Scottish dick I'm getting tonight." She does a dance bouncing her booty, and I let the laughter spill out.
"You're so fucking crazy." I smack her ass, and she wiggles her eyebrows.
"How about we take a shower and pre-game for tonight?"
"Insatiable," I whisper feigning astonishment.
"Please, Daddy gave us the go ahead because he knew my kitty was aching."
"And I'm sure his blue balls are turned purple by now."
She huffs. "That's his own damn fault."
"Ruthless Rhyther coming out to play."
"What? You know it's true."
"I think it's romantic."
"Because it's not your lady parts that are blue."
I laugh. "Jax and I haven't sealed the deal yet either."
"You'd better not have since I didn't hear about it."
I laugh. "You expect me to call you directly after?"
"Fuck yes. Once the smexing is done my phone better ring. I don't care what time it is. I sure as hell plan on calling you."
"And your old man won't mind?"
"Please, he calls you my wife. I think he knows this shit is a package deal."
The words warm me. Chibs and I have never been close, but that's changing rapidly now that he's with Journee. Her wife. Sounds about right.
As I watch Journee be transformed into a bride, I can't help but wonder about my own clandestine relationship. Where are we headed? Are we going to end up here one day? The thought used to make me break out in hives, being committed to someone so fully. It made you vulnerable in a way I didn't like to be. Kick had taught me things could be good. The boys before him were just fluff and filler. I could never marry a civilian. They didn't understand my life or my motivations. They were safe. He was a shot in the dark. A scary ass jump into the unknown.
My father taught me the damage a man could do to a woman. It was a harsh first lesson I never forgot. I couldn't say why Kick was different. Maybe it was his laid back attitude or the fact that I'd grown up with him the same as Opie and Jax. I trusted him, and the attraction was fiery. He wasn't a bad guy, just in love with the road too much to settle down the way I needed. I need steady. I could handle my man being locked down, but not leaving of his own free will.
I didn't have that fear with Jax. He clung on to what he cared about. It was when he stopped giving a shit you had to watch out. I laugh at myself. A pretty white dress, and damn did she deserve to wear it, some makeup and a bunch of women in one room have me thinking too deep. We haven't even told anyone other than Journee and Chibs we hooked up. It's been glorious feeling our way through without the pressure. The club can be worse than a pack of popular teenage girls.
I lean my head back against the massaging chair as the women work their magic on our feet and nails. Gemma and Sugar insisted we all be pampered before we were dressed. Journee relented, mostly to shut them the fuck up I think. She glances over at me and smiles.
"Holy shit, I'm about to get married."
Feminine laughter erupts in the spa room.
"You sure are darling, and you couldn't have picked a better man," Gemma said. The pride in her eyes reminds me how deeply she loves. Despite her very obvious flaws, if you're in her heart she'll go to bat for you every time. It's a blessing and a curse.
"We couldn't be more proud of you, baby," Sugar says.
I smile at my two mothers. They stepped up and filled in with what Grams couldn't. Grams showed me how to be a lady, but these women showed me how to be an Old lady. Regardless of whether I married into the club or not, I'd always have that status as a daughter of the First Nine. That meant acting accordingly. It was something Journee, and I bonded over coming up. We resented the wild freedom Jax and Ope had. Boys will be boys still made me sick to hear. I reach over and squeeze Journee's hand. A ping of lighting travels between us.
It strikes me; I'm sharing my lover with a Son. If we aren't a damn cliché. My lips quirk upwards, and she tilts her head in silent question. I shake my head. I'll tell you later. She nods and we both relax and let the massager do its work.
"So I wanted to give you something special for tonight," Gemma says.
"We both did," Sugar continued.
"Why am I afraid, Mas?" Journee asks.
Intrigued I sit up straighter.
Sugar taps buttons and a Grim Bastards' sweet butt walks in with a few bags.
Gemma snaps her fingers, and the girl comes over with a baby blue bag with white ribbon.
Nee looks at me, and I shake my head. This they did on their own. I helped pack sexy things for the surprise honeymoon she had no clue is her wedding present from Chibs.
I watch as Journee digs through piles of tissue paper and unearths a formfitting lace sheer and lace style corset stop with white underwear.
"They're crotchless so you can actually keep this set to remember the day," Sugar says.
"Ma." Journee blushes and Sugar laughs.
"I think Sugar wants grands even worse than I do," Gemma says.
"You already have one on the way."
"That's true," Gemma agrees.
It's kind of amazing being here with two legends. There aren't many women with as much longevity as these two or as many stories about the shit they'd done.
"We're not done yet," Sugar says.
"Oh, Jayus Christ," Journee mumbles.
"How cute, you're even talking like him," Gemma teases. "This one is from me. You have two wedding nights to prepare for."
She pulls out a strand of sparkling gems that take my breath. I can imagine the silver strands studded with jewels draped over her dark skin like a dress made for a fairy. Chibs is going to blow his damn load before he can even get inside her.
"Oh that's beautiful, Gem," Sugar says.
Gemma nods, beaming as Journee runs her fingertips over the strands.
"Thank you, Mas. Really."
"Just make sure you put them to good use. You only get one wedding night," Sugar says.
Gemma chuckles. "Damn straight she does when it comes to Chibs. I think this has been over twenty years in the making. Shoulda listened to you when he walked in, and you said you were going to marry him at fifteen."
"You're never going to let me forget that are you?" Journee asks.
"Oh hell no, especially since you were right," Gem says.
"I think it's sweet," Sugar says.
Journee sighs. Whatever Sugar and Gemma wanted they got. I can't help but wonder if this will be us someday. The thought should scare me; it doesn't. We were groomed to play these parts. I smirk. That tough old bitch is going to get what she always wanted after all these years. Jackson and I together, and Journee with a son. A powerful one at that. Chibs has a lot of sway. The brothers listen to him, and he's got a good head on his shoulder. We've seen the damage that happens to its members and the club when they don't' have grounding forces. My thoughts go to my Uncle Lenny, my father, and Big Otto. This new generation dialed things down.
Who says bikers can't be taught? I lean back against the chair and enjoy the embarrassment being heaped on my bestie. It's a right of passage. The boys have their traditions, and us woman have ours. Marriages are rare. For most being an Old lady is enough. Marriage gives rights a lot of the brothers don't like. I've been here my entire life. Many of the brothers keep their woman at a distance. I could never do it.
Then again, they started out civilians. Maybe it's better for them not to be up to their neck in the shit that comes with this life.
As she moves on to open her gift from Aunt Luanne, I can't help but wonder what a wedding between me and Jax might look like. The man has a way of making me a day dreamer.
Journee
I shake my leg as I glance at the clock for the millionth time. I'm not sure how I thought I'd feel today? Nervous, excited, maybe a bit unsure. Instead, I'm impatient. I want to be at the end of the aisle pledging my eternal allegiance to the man who changed my life for the better. He's been a constant, dependable, and loving force in my life from the moment he arrived at the clubhouse. Not many men would humor a girlish crush. But he did it, without embarrassing me and formed a lifelong bond. Right now my fifteen-year-old self-was literally creaming her panties. Well, she would if I'd worn any. Filip was in for a real surprise when he moved to take the garter. I giggle as I think of the groom's gift I'd sent his way via J. Inside the manila envelope were boudoir pictures I'd had Lee take of me in the porn studios after we'd scrubbed every surface at night when the place was closed. My stomach clenches. I want him as anxious for what's to come as I am.
"So, I've been waiting for the right moment to give you this."
I turn to look at Lee and sink onto the bed smoothing down my skirt. Gemma and My mother have gone to make sure everything is perfect and up to their standards leaving the two of us alone. My cousins are in a connecting room.
"Give me what?"
"Your Boo wanted to give you something."
I smile. I don't know how the hell a man who's seen as much violence, death, and tragedy could remain so sweet and gentle, but I'm grateful for it. She walks over to her bag and pulls out an envelope. I recognize his scrawling script. You wouldn't guess he'd have such beautiful handwriting. A secret I think he keeps because he hates to be put on paperwork duty. I grab the white envelope and hold it up to my nose inhaling the lingering scent of tobacco and Chibs. My hands shake slightly as I open the flap and find a silver ring. The patinaed piece is cool in my hand. It's not something I remember seeing on him. I turn it to the left and right and gasp as I recognize his family crest.
"What?"
"This is a family heirloom." I trace the raised surface awed by his gift.
"Makes sense his new bride should have it then, don't you think?"
Unable to speak around the lump in my throat I nod, and place the ring on the desk as I remove his letter.
Lennan,
I've never had a problem with words, but you were always the exception to the rule for leaving me speechless and tongue tied. Today is no different. I'm a blessed man to have you wanting to take my last name and bind your life with mine for eternity in the eyes of God. You're the light to my darkness. I think you've always been. I can't imagine the last half of my life without your beautiful face, smile, and encouragement. Even when I shouldn't have, I wanted you. You make me a better person.
I'm not perfect, and I keen this life isn't easy. But I promise you'll never want for anything, and I'll do my best to keep you happy. I'll be waiting at the end of the aisle for you , so we can start our happily ever after. All the bull shite that came before means nothing.
Yours
Filip "Chibs" Telford.
I tilt my head back and fight the tear blurring my vision. He's pledged himself to me in a way I could never expect. Deep down I always worried about Fiona. He's telling me now that the past will remain there. A few spaces down, he's written a poem. My poetic warrior. I read the words hearing his melodic timber speaking it in my mind. There are few things I enjoy as much as my man reading to me.
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
How can he see me like this?
Powerful, sexy, and respected by his brothers he's the ideal old man. Not many men can separate the violence they participate in with home life. He can better than most.
I pick up the ring and close my hand around the cool heavy piece of metal. I want to have it on me when I take his name.
"Can you help me?" I ask Lee.
"Of course, babe. What do you need?"
"I want to wear this, but it doesn't exactly go with the outfit."
She laughs.
"Come here." We add the ring to the small pouch sewed into the dress that holds my "Product of Menace" patch for my something old. The blue, green, and purple plaid high heels that boast the Telford clan are my something blue and new. I can't wait to see my husbands' face when he sees them. I want to honor him, the man behind the cut in this ceremony. He'd been so disrespected in his last marriage; I'm determined to start our union out right.
A knock sounds on the door, and the door opens to show my mother and Gemma.
"It's time, baby. Are you ready?" My mom asks.
"Yes," I can't keep my voice from shaking as I rise up on my tip toes.
Gemma laughs. "Look at you. You're glowing, baby. You are going to make that Scot happy in the way he's deserved all along."
My cheeks heat. Praise from Gemma is rare. Especially when it comes to her boys.
"Thank you, Mama Gemma."
"You just keep doing what you're doing. I'm going to make sure those girls get their shit together and walk the aisle right. You take your time." She walks over and brushes my cheek with her lips. "Beautiful."
I feel her blessing down to my toes, and it means everything to me. I want to honor both sides today and make sure there's no hard feelings or feelings of partialism. Clubs can get touchy as hell about shit like that. We're walking on a tight wire.
"My baby, all grown up and becoming a wife," Mom whispers as she smooths imaginary stray hairs back into place. My hair is the size of a small country. Gathered, bound back and left to puff out to its full glory I know it'll be down before the night is over if Filip has his way. I hug my mom.
"I love you, Mama."
"And I love you. Let's get you down there before the Scot comes looking for you. I've never seen a man so anxious to marry a woman. You picked good, baby."
Finally. Lee lifts the train of my dress which looks like a trail of white flowers, and we begin the procession toward my future.
