Xanxus and Lussuria's warnings are suddenly made extremely vital when they wander up to A.Z. Fell & Co for the second time, because there's a badly parked classic car right in front of the store. It's the kind of vehicle Tsuna imagines Reborn will drive the second he's grown tall enough to reach pedals again, which means Mr. Fell must have company over. Company that according to the Varia, will probably make the book seller even worse to deal with.
The building still feels like it's wallpapered with Mukuro at their most insane, but at least his intuition isn't shrieking any more. It is however, suggesting that he make a beeline for the back room, though Tsuna isn't quite sure why.
Mr. Fell certainly isn't happy to see them again. He must have been watching the windows, because he's already in the front room and glaring at them in disappointment.
"Good morning to the extreme!" Ryohei says, because he's an idiot and an optimist and that wins more people over than you'd think. Mr. Fell however, isn't swayed.
"I do hope you're not here to waste my time again," he says. "I'm a busy man you know."
Gokudera, eyes already scanning for the books he'd tried obtaining yesterday, gestures to the empty room with wide hands an a scowl.
"With what?"
"...Stock taking," Mr. Fell offers, and pulls out a clipboard Tsuna swears he wasn't carrying a few seconds ago. "It's a busy time, very intensive. Really not the best time to browse."
"Sounds toughs, maybe we can help," Yamamoto immediately offers with a smile. "Maybe we'll even find a book you don't want around any more."
Mr. Fell doesn't seem amused at the offer, but his face gets even darker when they hear chuckling coming from behind him. A few moments later, another man slinks out from behind him, sauntering with a gait Tsuna didn't know was possible without dislocating your hips. While he's wearing glasses, it's clear he's staring at the four of them as he moves, before spinning on a heel and collapsing in a plush chair near a window that's in full view of the counter, sprawled like a bored king on his throne.
"Hey, was that chair always there?" Yamamoto asks, and Tsuna frowns, because he'd been wondering the same thing...
"So, you're the ones that got Angel all worked up," the man says, grinning as Tsuna's guardians inch closer. Tsuna can only stare back, eyes flitting between the book shop owner and his companion.
Wow. He knows people look at Tsuna and his Guardians and wonder what they have in common, but this is a whole new level of opposites attract. The red haired man lounging on the chair is dressed to the nines in black, the clothes clearly high end fashion that manages to look comfortably loose and impossibly tight at the same time. Yet he moves with an easy casual grace, stretching in an almost unnatural way where he sits.
Years of mafia interactions and his own intuition know it takes a lot of effort to make that boneless, snakelike movement look natural, but there's something about him that makes Tsuna think it actually was effortless for him.
Gokudera clearly hates him on site, if the angry bristling is anything to go by. Ryohei is just grinning, and Yamamoto quite happily lifts his phone and snaps a photo of the man. But all of them are hanging back, pointedly ignoring Mr. Fell and letting their attention wander around the store. This is Tsuna's mission, and they seem happy enough to leave him to it.
He wonders if Crowley will interfere, but when he glances over, the man is still happily sprawled in a chair that should be far too small to allow sprawling, wearing a grin that reminds Tsuna of Byakuran.
Oh. He's not here to support Mr. Fell. He's here for the entertainment. Tsuna didn't see that one coming. All he needs is a bag of popcorn.
He almost wonders what Lussuria saw to justify flirting with the man. It doesn't seem like he'd be the Sun's type - he's too lanky and doesn't look like much of a fighter. Although that said, he clearly likes fashion, and he's surprisingly limber considering there doesn't seem to be much muscle under his jacket or jeans, and he seems to find great enjoyment in chaos if his reaction to them is anything to go by, and-
Okay, in retrospect, Tsuna completely sees why Lussuria decided to try his luck. He has a feeling Crowley has never found a can-never-meet-the-parents 'bad boy' trope he didn't immediately fall in love with. He even has a facial tattoo for gods sake. Even Dino didn't go that far.
His intuition pokes him again as that thought crosses his mind, and he frowns. Why is a tattoo important?
He shakes it off. Whatever it is, it's not going to help him buy a book, so it can wait till later. Gokudera had proven yesterday that genuine desire for a particular title wont get him anywhere, so he might as well go for the other approach.
"If you're doing a stock take, are there any books you're looking to clear?"
"Of course not," Mr. Fell insists, sounding almost insulted. "None of my books are any less valuable than the other."
"That's impossible," Gokudera insists. "There has to be at least one that's damaged or of less interest. You can't have a store this old without picking up excess stock."
"I assure you, I'm very picky regarding my books," Mr. Fell replies. "There are no cheap airline paperbacks or self help books on my shelves. Every single item in my collection is unique and special in it's own way. If that's what you want, I believe there's a Waterstones two streets down."
"I told you, I have to buy a book from this store, and we're not leaving until we find one you're willing to part with," Tsuna says. "You don't want us here, and we don't want to bother you more than we have to, so surely there's something you can sell?"
Mr. Fell stares at him, eyes narrow.
"Any book?"
"Yes!" Tsuna insists. "I don't mind which one!"
"So you don't care about the book itself?"
Tsuna almost agrees, only for his intuition to spike. Mr. Fell is watching him with something similar to triumph.
"Which means, any book I sell to you will not be treated with the respect it deserves," he says. "You do not care about the book, and cannot be trusted with its welfare. Even a book in poor condition deserves a proper home."
Tsuna sags against the counter, silently cursing how easily he'd slipped into the trap. There's also snickering from Crowley's side.
"Then is there a book you don't have?" Tsuna asks, slumped on the antique wood. "One that you would be willing to trade for a different book?"
There's a flurry of movement, and he looks up to see Mr. Fell look quite put out.
"Of course not!" he insists. "I will not be...tempted, into trading one for another. And it wouldn't solve the original problem – you do not care for the book you would leave with at all."
Tsuna winces. Right, and that's the problem. Except not, because if care and respect were all that mattered, Gokudera would have left with a library yesterday.
Speaking of which, Gokudera is growling again, but continues to stay back and check out the shelves, probably looking for his targets, while Mr. Fell watches Tuna with curious eyes.
"Perhaps you can answer a question," he asks. "Why so desperate to obtain a book from this specific store when you clearly have no interest in them?"
Tsuna looks up and frowns. "Would it help if I did?"
"Not at all," Mr. Fell replies, without a single ounce of sympathy. "But you don't particularly fit the mould of those who come here for the challenge."
"Yeah, satisfy the curious," Crowley adds. "What is it? School bet? Internet stunt? Inheritance from a bitter book collecting relative that comes with requirements?"
He doesn't even need to look at his Guardians to know they've all suddenly found whatever they're looking at astonishingly fascinating. Tsuna mulls the question over, wondering what the right answer would be.
Well, he's always preferred honestly. Might as well toe that line as far as he can go.
"Education," he says. "I'm supposed to be inheriting the family business, and my teacher told me if I wanted to prove myself as a negotiator, I need to strike a deal with the hardest dealmaker he knows."
"Oh, you're one of those," Crowley says, leaning forward in his chair and watching with more intense interest than before. "Did not call that."
Mr. Fell also looks quite surprised, and Tsuna doesn't need his intuition to realise both men have completely understood and translated what he didn't say. Perhaps they're more involved in the underworld than Tsuna had thought– Crowley at least, certainly looks the part.
...And there's Gokudera, glued to his side as the situation tilts again. Mr. Fell glances over at the protective Storm, before shaking his head and staring Tsuna down.
"Well, I'm sure your teacher and family can arrange a different test for you," he says. "Convincing me that any one of my books should leave this building in the hands of someone who does not appreciate it is quite impossible."
"It's not impossible to the Extreme!" Ryohei insists, startling Tsuna as he appears behind him. "Reborn once succeeded."
"Who?" Fell asks, and Tsuna frowns. Surely the man would remember the handful of people who did pry a book from him?
"Reborn?" he says, and then falters on how to describe the hitman, since he has no clue if the man came before or after the curse. "Italian? Fedora, dark eyes? Greets people with 'chaos' or 'Ciaossu' because it's more fun that way? Possibly had a chameleon?"
Crowley suddenly starts snickering, and he sees recognition dawn in Mr. Fell's eyes, before it brightens into something more humorous.
"Ah, yes. Him. That was...an interesting experience. Left with an insect bestiary, I believe."
For some reason, this sets Crowley off even more, laughing into the arm of his chair for reasons unknown. Given that the topic is Reborn, Tsuna really doesn't know if he should pry.
Yamamoto on the other hand-
"How did he win you over?" he asks, popping up on Tsuna's left and leaning on the counter. "Bet it was chaotic, right?"
Mr. Fell huffs, though he's still grinning. "All I will say on the matter is that in all my years in this shop, nobody has ever tried his method before or since."
"Don't suppose you'd tell us what it was?" Tsuna asks, somewhat desperately, only for Crowley to clear his throat.
"Don't even think it Angel," he chimes. "It's a test – be bad of you to help them cheat."
Mr. Fell scowls. "So, my dear, why don't you step in and tempt them with an answer?"
The grin the owner receives is wide and wicked.
"Not as much fun."
...There is an entire novel being read between the lines here, and Tsuna's intuition is being astonishingly unhelpful. That conversation was important, he just can't figure out why.
"Fine, you wont tell me," Tsuna says, and randomly grabs a book on the edge of the counter. "So what will it take for you to part with this one? Give me the craziest scenario."
"That doesn't exist I'm afraid," Mr. Fell replies, deftly plucking the book from Tsuna's hands. "You wouldn't be interested in this at all."
"I think we established that wasn't an issue," Gokudera snaps from his post, and Tsuna reaches for the book.
"You can't have it in a shop if it's not for sale," Tsuna insists. "So tell me what-"
"Oh look at that!" Crowley interrupts, bringing the room to a standstill. He glances at a watch before standing up and adjusting his glasses. "It's time for my lunch reservations. Angel, can I tempt you?"
Mr. Fell lights up.
"Oh yes! Sounds delightful. Now pop along everyone, I need to close the store."
The man has actually come from around the counter to swing Tsuna round by the shoulders and half push him out the door. He's so quick about it that they're almost at the door before any of his Guardians react – although given the squawk that he just heard Gokudera give, Crowley may be escorting them just as quickly.
"But I thought you had stock ta-"
"Yes, yes, but it's time for a break. Now off you go!"
Tsuna blinks, and next thing he knows, the Tenth Generation are shuffled onto the doorstep yet again.
"Anyone else Extremely confused?" Ryohei asks, and if that doesn't sum up the entire situation, Tsuna doesn't know what does.
Day two doesn't go much better.
They all collect in the building and literally start scouring for a duplicate, or a book that they can possibly buy or trade in better condition to barter with. Crowley's car is parked outside, but the man can't be found, so they don't have an eager audience. Since they aren't actually trying to buy, Mr. Fell is surprisingly agreeable and leaves them to it, although he spends a lot of time tending to a very large snake. They quickly learn to keep eyes on the shopkeeper though, because said snake keeps showing up whenever they're out of the man's sight and giving them the fright of their lives. Tsuna nearly fell over a balcony with a shriek on more than one occasions after reaching into a shelf and feeling warm scales instead of leather and paper.
Unfortunately, it's a lost cause. Literally every single book in Mr. Fell's collection is one of a kind, and in great condition. Gokudera starts muttering that so many books being this pristine is impossible, but they leave disheartened and empty handed.
On Day three, Ryohei had suggested that they just be Extreme, look up the price of a book, drop twice the highest price they can find on the counter, and then just walk out (Sometimes Tsuna despairs at how loose with rules his self-proclaimed Brother has become). It's not exactly negotiation, but it's worth a shot. When they walk inside again, they grab the first random book, and while Brother and Yamamoto distract Mr. Fell by grabbing random books or taking photos of the building. Mr. Fell has a quite impressive photo collection on a wall in the back room Ryohei happily snaps to keep the man's back turned.
However, when they get back to the hotel to report a success, the money is back in their bag, and there's no book. Gokudera honestly looks like he's about to implode, and spends a good hour muttering to himself while trying to figure out how Mr. Fell pulled off that sleight of hand.
On day four, Gokudera suggests that they call up Mukuro and ask the second best manipulator they know to come give them a hand. It shows how desperate Tsuna's right hand is that he even considered it. Not that it does them any good – while Tsuna does manage to make contact with Mukuro via Chrome, and the Mist looks genuinely interested in possibly coming to help, the second they mention Crowley, Mr. Fell's companion, Mukuro goes an almost impossible shade of white.
"You met Anthony J Crowley?" he says, interrupting Gokudera mid rant. "Red hair? Unnaturally thin? Wears sunglasses constantly?"
"You know him?" Tsuna asks, and is genuinely astonished to see the Mist shudder.
"Nope," Mukuro says, looking the most unnerved they've ever seen him. "Nope, nope, nope."
The call immediately cuts off, and by the time Tsuna manages to get Chrome back on the phone, Mukuro has vanished, and isn't even answering his fellow Mist any more, so that avenue's definitely blocked. Although Gokudera is suddenly very interested in making Crowley a job offer if he can put that kind of fear into the Mist.
(Gokudera will always hold a grudge for the whole body-possession incident. Tsuna can't really blame him).
With no other ideas, Tsuna isn't quite ready to face the shopkeeper they'd tried to hustle the day before, so shakes his Guardians for a few hours to wander London. While he's not a fan of being alone, he hasn't really had the option in years. It's a novelty to be allowed out solo – he 'may' have alluded to both Gokudera and Yamamoto that the other would be with him, but he'll let himself feel guilty about that later.
He eventually finds himself winding through a local park, wandering next to a lake, his intuition pricking up every other second when he started passing several benches with men and women dressed in business suits. While there's similarities, he's pretty sure they're not in the same 'business' Tsuna is, so he lets his intuition lead him far, far away from anyone suspicious, and settles on an empty bench to watch the ducks swim around the lake. They eye him up as they pass, but when it's clear he has no food, leave him alone and go about their business. It's quite therapeutic to watch.
Why does Reborn think he can do this? This is so far out of what the Hitman normally throws at him that Tsuna literally has no frame of reference. Mr. Fell cannot be accidentally befriended, fought into submission, or rescued from some manic insanity, and that's kind of wiped out the Sawada Tsunyoshi play book.
He gets that it's not impossible to win Mr. Fell over, but the man loves his books. That's clear enough from the fact that he and his family having spent centuries pouring money into a financial hole despite there clearly being enough interest for them to have a booming business. Even if he could somehow leave with a book, he'd almost feel guilty about doing so. Which is insane, because it's a book. That's for sale. In a shop. What even is his life now?
He knows it's technically only been a few days, but he hasn't got the slightest idea how to go about this without crossing morally questionable lines. Mr. Fell doesn't make sense. What kind of bookshop owner doesn't sell his books?
It's a question that he's still pondering when someone sits next to him on the bench, and is only brought out from his musings when he feels an arm brush up against his back, lying on the back of the seat, and looks up to see Crowley looking over with a grin.
"Tsuna wasn't it? How about you and I have a chat about your little situation, hmm?"
