Chapter 3

After our little heart to heart, I went back to my chair and Joker found one on the other side of Garrus and we hunkered down for the long wait ahead.

The next hours were scrambled between nervous silence, the tapping of a foot or hand, or one of us pacing the hall unable to sit and wait any longer.

After about 5 hours the Doctor and Miranda came through the doors with extremely tired yet satisfied looks on their faces.

The doctor spoke to us,

"Shepard is stable and recovering well. We did have some problems with the sedative so she will most likely wake up in about an hour." We could hear Miranda chuckle behind the Doctor. "You are able to go in and wait for her to wake but I recommend not being too loud or even just going in one at a time, there was some damage to her ear drums that we didn't get to but nothing some quiet time won't fix." With that the Doctor turned on his heel and left us to ourselves.

Miranda turns and waves her had for us t follow her. Slowly we all shuffle into Shepard's room. It was similar to the rest of the hospital. White and sterile. The only real color in the room was Shepard's mid back length red hair draped over the pillow and the minimal tan skin underneath the blankets tucked snugly under her armpits.

The hospital gown washed her out even more than she was already. As I looked her over, I notice that she no longer had any glowing cybernetics. This puzzled me as her face was covered with them when we were reunited on Horizon. I approach the bed and reach out to stroke my fingers down her cheek.

Chakwas noticed my puzzled look and took the liberty to give me an answer,

"Her cybernetics allow her heal incredibly fast. Now she rivals Wrex or any brogan for that matter. Most of the time she uses very little medi-gel if any at all. She was self conscious of her scars and how people with view her so she had a machine installed in the med-bay to help reduce the appearance of the cybernetics. As long as she stays healthy they shouldn't return."

This made me chuckle and grimace at the same time as it reminded me that she was rebuilt from the ground up by Cerberus. I went and grabbed a chair from the hall. No one challenged me as I pulled the chair right up next to the head of the bed and lowered the bar that kept her from 'rolling out'. I sat down and took her hand in mine, it felt so right.

I leaned my head down and let out a sigh of relief that she was alive. I could now tell her everything, how much I have missed her, how much I have been longing to see her and hear her voice. How much I love her. I felt a hand lightly land on my shoulder. I look up and Liara is looking back at me with eyes that held the utmost empathy.

"She'll be alright Kaidan. She is tough and she has you, me and the others by her side. She will never be alone again, I promise."

With one hand still clutching Shepard's, I turn around and give a small looking at everyone pilled in the small room. She was right, Shepard had friends from almost every species and most of them were in this room right now, save for a select few. Shepard would never be alone, not if I could help it.

"Thanks Liara, you have no idea what it means to me to hear you say that," My voice cracking slightly.

"We are all going to grab a room at the hotel down the street. Do you want us to get you a room?"

"No," I shake my head and turn back to looking at Shepard, "I want to stay here with Shepard. I have spent enough time away from her and I want to be here when she wakes up."

"Okay Kaidan, just be sure to call us if she wakes up or if you need anything." She gives me a small smile and a nod.

"I will", I reply, "Really, Thank you for everything.".

As she turns to follow the others from the room she gives a wave and smiles a little wider.

The time passes slowly and all I can do is sit and watch Shepard sleep. She looks so peaceful, something I had not seen in a long time. She usually would wake up from nightmares from the beacon or from Mindor .

I don't remember falling asleep but the next thing I know I feel movement underneath my hand. I lift my head from the bed and look into a pair of bright green eyes. Oh Lexi how I have missed those eyes. We smile shyly at each other and she look down to where I have my hand intertwined with hers.

"Ummmm… Kaidan, can I have my hand back?" her voice ruff from the sedation and sleep.

I had forgotten that I still had her hand in mine and quickly release it feeling my cheeks burn.

"You're so cute when you blush," she laughed but then clutched her side with a sharp intake of breath.

I jumped up from my chair to make sure she was okay. "Shepard you should take it easy. You have had a rough few days."

A soft smile played on her lips "I'm fine Kaidan." Suddenly a puzzled look crossed her face and she looked around the room, "Where is everyone else, where the hell am I, and what are you doing here?"

I sighed and sat back down. "Well, to start Garrus, Liara, Miranda, Joker, Chakwas and Tali grabbed a hotel nearby and I umm decided to….. stay here with you." I look down at my fidgeting hands and rubbed the back of my neck, the shy awkwardness that I thought I had gotten rid of returning.

"That still doesn't answer my question Kaidan. Why are YOU still here? You made it very clear on Horizon and in your message that you have moved on." She said with a pang of distain in her voice and she looked away from me.

I take a few seconds to gather myself and take a deep breath preparing to tell her what I have been wanting to for months.

I lean forward and take her hand in mine. Thankfully she willing let me have it even though she was looking away from me.

"Shepard….. Lexi." Sigh. "I love you. I always have, ever since you pushed me away from the beacon on Eden Prime, maybe not to the extent that I do now but..."

Surprise crossed her face and she turned back to face me. I didn't give her the chance to say anything, I just had to get it all out on the table.

"When you went down with the Normandy, part of me died too; I haven't been the same since. When I saw you on Horizon all I could think that you were alive and that you had come back to me, but then I saw you were with Cerberus. I just got so angry that you would choose them over me."

Anger flashed across her face and she tried to interject, "Whoa Kaidan, Who the hell…."

"Lexi please let me finish." She paused and looked me over then gave me a slow nod.

"After Horizon I realized that I let my emotions cloud my judgement, just like you said. I sat at my terminal for days trying to think of a way to apologize for being a complete and total ass to you when really, you have done nothing wrong but do what no one else would. Finally I just hit send and hoped that you would get the message and maybe, just maybe that you could forgive me."

I lean down and kiss her hand that is now clutching mine.

"When I got that reply saying that you were going through the Omega 4 relay, I thought that I would never see you again and it was like losing you all over again."

I closed my eyes and took a deep steadying breath.

"Thinking I could lose you again tore me apart. I will never leave you again. I don't care if you're still with Cerberus. I will follow you till the end of the galaxy and back. I want to see your smiling face in the morning and kiss you every night before bed. The Council and the Alliance can go fuck themselves because I love you more than life itself."

She reached her other hand to my face and cupped my cheek wincing slightly from moving the wound on her stomach, I looked up into those bright green eyes and saw the gleam of unshed tears.

A big smile spread across her face and she says, "Kaidan Alenko, you are the stupidest, hard headed, most loving, caring, handsome man a girl could ever ask for. I would rather die a thousand times than not have you by my side."

She then gingerly moved over on her bed and patted the area beside her. I sat down beside her and she leaned her head on my shoulder. I turned and planted a soft kiss on the top of her head. It was like a puzzle piece had finally fallen into place at that moment and nothing could ruin it.

we both had closed our eyes and signed in contentment.

"Ahem….. Commanders, you now have company." A husky voice chuckled from the doorway.

We hastily pull apart and I get off the bed, we are both blushing severely but still smiling glad that it was Anderson that chose to come in the room at that moment and not Hackett.

"Anderson, glad to see you're not in the slammer yet for associating with a terrorist." Shepard chuckled lightly.

He laughed out loud and walked over to stand next to me at her bed side.

"All the information you had Liara forward to us has been cleared and any doubts that the rest of the Council had is now gone. Shepard we will have to discuss in further detail the Lazarus Project. There are many things that could advance our understanding of the medical treatments to which you may need."

"I'll have to talk to Miranda first; she was the head for the whole thing. She has all the files you'll need. I would also, like to discuss my staying with Cerberus for the time being."

My head snapped towards her, "Wait what?"

She turned toward me with a sad look in her eyes.

"I have some unfinished business with them that cannot be put off and I refuse to let them use it against me longer."