I stared at my hand for at least ten minutes before going back inside. I kept hoping it wasn't what it clearly was, a date.
2069159832
7pm
If that was how he said hello to a stranger in the hall God only knows what happens at 7pm. I could try and tell myself I won't be here, that I'd just go back to Forks, I could call Ben back and talk to him about his stupid T-shirt, but I won't. I put my hand over his bite, it felt warm, I felt concerned. I went upstairs to the bathroom and looked at it in the mirror. FUCK. It was deeper than I thought, I tried cleaning it up but it hurt and I'm a wuss. It's such an awkward place to cover up as well. I must be psychotic to even think about meeting him. What about Jacob? Where had he gone? Why was Sam pissed at him? I tried not to think about Paul, which only made me think about him more. I put the number in my phone, thinking I'd wash it off my hand but part of me liked it just because he put it there. I'm scaring myself. I brushed my hair and hoped no one would notice if I left quickly.
"Bellaaaa" Quil yelled as I opened the front door, he came running after me. "Where you going?"
"Um, home." I brush my hair over my neck trying to hide it.
"Whatchu got there bells?" He brushed my hair aside, being his usual dickish self. The look on his face was worth the cringe I felt. He was shook, mouth hanging open, staring at it.
"Jake, right?" He asked after a moment.
"Oh God, no it wasn't Jake." I don't know why I objected to the idea of it being him so much but it was like a reflex I didn't know I had.
"Paul huh?" He examined it a little closer. "You should get that looked at." He decided.
"How did you… nevermind, yeah you're probably right. Does he always go round biting people? Like the Man's an animal or something" I joked, dying a little inside, how do you explain to a doctor that some man just bit you, and you let him?
"C'mere Bells, I'll take you to Emily's and she'll fix you up." He threw his arm around my shoulders in a way that I couldn't tell if it was protective or restraining, like he thought I might run.
"Emily?" I asked, trying to decide if I was a horrible person for not knowing who he meant.
"She's great, she's like everyone's mom round here, and she won't ask questions" He chuckled, and I did too, but him saying that only made me think this whole thing was shadier than I already did.
"Is she a doctor?"
"Um, she's a vet. Don't worry she fixes us up all the time," He tried to reassure me.
"And why do you guys need so much fixing?" Long pause.
"We party Bella, don't judge us, we livin our best life, leave it alone" He brushed me off. Hmm. Shade.
I got in the car with him less because I wanted to visit his sketchy vet friend and more because I was curious. It wasn't long in the car, I tried to remember how we got there in case my childhood friends were trying to kill me or something but fuck knows I have an awful sense of direction.
"EMILYYYYYYYY" He belowed as we walked in the front door.
"Quil hunny I have ears, not as good as yours but they work" She chimed coming down the stairs. "Oh who's your friend?" She went straight for a hug. I hate how friendly and likeable she is already.
"I'm Bella" I answered for myself, "I uh, have a little something, Quil said you're good at fixing people" I tried to read her face but she was selling smiles and genuine kindness, the bitch.
"Oh, no problem, can I see?" She was too eager to help, she's obviously evil.
Quil helpfully grabs fistfuls of my hair out of the way so she can see the mark. She smiled at me with a seemingly all knowing look.
"Quil why don't you run along" She ushered me in and him out. I wanted to protest but Quil obeyed her so quickly it was too late. She walked through the living room into an open plan kitchen and patted the island counter for me to sit on. She wasn't tiny like me so it worked out perfectly.
"This might sting" She warned me soothingly.
"Don't worry I'm tough- HOLY SHIT" I screamed like a baby as she doused my wound with something awful.
"Shh shh all done, it's all better from here." She laughed gently, and I somehow laughed with her. She was good at making people comfortable, I was already relaxed even though I was trying to be suspicious.
"So Quil said you fix the boys up a lot," I probed as she tended to me. "They clumsy or crazy, I can't tell" I offset the statement with a joke.
"Both hunny, both. If they haven't been fighting each other or pulling some crazy stunt, then someone's probably had a freak accident." She sounded like a weary mother. I somehow sympathized with her.
"Do you mind me asking?" I tried not to stare at the scars on her face and looked away shyly but the question was begging to be asked.
"Um, how much do you know about… things..?" She asked vaguely.
"Uhh…" I stammered.
"A camping trip gone wrong." I could tell she was choosing the version of events she told me carefully but couldn't figure out why.
"Sounds like you got more of an adventure than you were planning on huh?" I tried to stay lighthearted, not sure if she was sensitive about it or not.
"You just described my life in a nut shell hun," She laughed along "honestly, I always dreamed of a pretty boring but fulfilling life. Marry the first boy I locked eyes with in Kindergarten, go to college together, come back home, settle down, open up my own Veterinary practice, have a couple kids."
"That's cute.." I tried to imagine a world where that was appealing but I guess everyone's different. I wish I wanted that.
"Of course none of it went that way, well, I did go to college but I went by myself. Never really found love, but I was happy. I came back from school, and Sam was in town. No, I don't come from La Push, and it just... Happened. My life just happened. You know what I mean?"
"I'm with you. I feel like I blinked and missed the bit where life asks you what you want."
"Tell me about you, I wanna know" She seemed way too invested in this conversation considering we'd probably never if rarely come across each other again.
"What do you wanna know?"
"Well... Okay, what did a younger you want out of life, what were your plans?"
"Oh. Uh... I guess I always wanted to get my own place, from pretty young, I knew myself, I liked my own company. I just imagine a life... of independence I guess."
"That's so sad." She giggled in seeming disbelief.
"You never thought you'd have someone to get a place with?"
"I never wanted that. I mean, that's what happened with Ben. Sorry this is so nothing to do with you but I'm off on one now, I just gotta vent."
"Oh please, do." She nodded along.
"It was last year of school, he transferred, we had the same class schedule except for one, and we hung out loads, we hooked up a bit, it started getting pretty regular and he was kinda sweet despite being almost as messed up as me, which is an achievement. I figured I had all the pieces why not solve the puzzle? I kinda knew going in that it wouldn't last because we'd go off to different colleges and you know long distance never works, so I don't know what I was thinking."
"You were thinking it was a safe bet. If it had an expiration date, a good reason to be over, you didn't have to worry about messing it up. Or worse, making room in your imaginary future life for someone else."
"Wow. You sure you're a vet? Cause you got the therapising thing down." I laugh uncomfortably. "I don't know."
"You do but that's okay, maybe it was just a stepping stone for you."
"I guess." I paused to think, seeing things in a slightly different light. "But yeah, we were only 'together' about 6 months, and when I didn't want to go to College with him after school he freaked. It's so ugly the whole thing of relationships, the obligations, the feelings, the constant nausea of 'the future'; I hated it. All I could think was how my neat little apartment in NYC was going to be cluttered with his fucking hat collection, and that I was more bothered about the idea of that than I was about losing him. It got so bad, he was practically moving into my moms place, it was like everywhere I looked there was another bit of crap he'd left, he kept pushing about my plans for next year, so I just decided to walk away, thought it'd be easier to come see Dad while I figure out what I wanna do next."
"I could go on at you for hours about everything you just said." She smiled at me, shaking her head in a sisterly or kind of maternal way. "I get it, it makes sense, I think you did the right thing coming back, but... Don't you think maybe it's not that you don't have room for another person for your imaginary apartment, but that you had the wrong person?"
"No there's definitely no room." I chuckled.
"Then maybe you've got the wrong place. Besides, New York City? You're either going to be rich, have room mates, or... cohabit."
"What's it to you?" I sighed, realizing she was just another person who thought I needed fixing, or thought they knew best.
"I'm sorry, that came off pushy. I'm sure you'll get your dream place." She smiled, "You're all done by the way"
"What, no stitches, no plaster needed?" I asked, thinking maybe I was a wuss about the whole thing if it's not even that bad.
"Best not bother covering it up" She said with a flirtatious smirk, the scathing look I gave her made her explain a little more. "Leaving it exposed can be beneficial, just let the air get to it. I'm a vet, we don't have the luxury of plasters most of the time and I still manage to treat my patients."
"Oh yeah," I laughed "I guess you can't stick plasters onto fur, man I thought it hurt taking plasters of when they catch your little baby hairs, but that would kill."
"Wait what's that on your hand Bella? I see digits..." She winked at me.
"...Maybe."
"No room in my apartment my ass," She laughed.
"Oh pleaseeeee this is a hook up, s'all it is, it's not even 'is' it's 'might be'. I'm seeing him tonight at 7." She grinned at me. "It's Paul" She doesn't seem surprised.
"It's 1 o'clock now... Hun I know we've just met, but I'm guessing you don't have a girlfriend to hand to help you get ready, right?"
"I mean I've never had a friend get me ready for a date... if it even is that." Pretty sure that's only a thing in the movies.
"I've got time, if you don't mind?"
"I mean it's a bit early but... Sure." The second I agreed, she ushered me upstairs and passed me some fresh clothes to put on, I was grateful. I came out of the bathroom dressed and heard her jingle her keys down stairs.
"You ready?"
"For...?" I made my way down.,
"Lunch, then Port Angles." We drove to Sue's Dinner and she gave us way too much food, for free, to go. We ate on the drive and swapped songs, stories. It was kind of comforting, she was such a gentle presence. We got to Port Angles for 3pm, and she whisked me straight into the shops.
"So what are you guys doing?" She asked. I chuckled, I could only guess. "So it's a surprise?"
"Sure." I nod.
"Well that's okay, I'm thinking... Oh that! Bella, I'm thinking that beautiful black jumpsuit." She drifts across the store and picks one up off the rail, holding it up against me to see.
"Really? I've never really worn jumps-"
"TRY IT ON"
"Oookay." I slip into a changing room and try it on. It's good, it hugs me in all the right places, great cleavage, shows off my waist. I went out and showed Emily and she was more excited than I was. She also made me try on two dresses, one little black dress, one skin tight midi dress. I got all of them because 'you might need them' and I didn't bring that much with me to Dad's anyway. I thought it'd be over then but I was soon pushed into a lingerie store, which of course I didn't mind.
"So what's your style?" Emily asked, browsing frilly pink teddys. "
"Not that" I grimaced sympathetically realizing that it most definitely was her style.
"Oh you're all dark and dangerous huh?"
"I'd hardly call expensive tiny scraps of black fabric dangerous, but sure. Oh this is cute, I like the stockings and suspenders look"
"What about this?!" She holds up a neon green fishnet body suit and I can't keep a straight face.
"Okay you got me, I've got one of those in every color except mucous." I snicker, the store lady gave us a judgmental glare which only makes us laugh more. Eventually Emily see's something pink and fluffy and excuses herself to try it on, I take the chance to grab a bunch of stuff without her dissecting my every choice, including a few flavored lubes, condoms and a cheeky pair of cuffs. By the time I'm done she's back out and tutting at me for going ahead without her insight. I wait for her to buy her stuff and then we head back to the res.
I didn't expect to be nervous, but standing there, Emily's spare room, in my lingerie trying to pick from my three outfit choices, I started to sweat a little. What if this isn't even a date? What if I'm massively over reacting and he's going to laugh at me, he'll know he got under my skin and ugh there it is. He got under my skin. Figuratively and literally. What am I doing? He's deranged, unhinged, and well, he's a dick.
"It's just sex, no big" I mumble under my breath, slipping into the mini dress and zipping up the back. I take a few steadying breaths and then look at the time. 6:45 pm. I put the finishing touches on my makeup and go out to show Emily. She gasps over enthusiastically. I like how you can see the suspenders sticking out from the bottom of the dress, I think I won't be wearing any of it long which works for me, I want this over with so I can move on.
I check the time again and at 6:55 I realize he has no idea where I am, and if I try to go back to wherever I was before I'll be late, I start typing a text to him when there's a knock on the door.
"That'll be him" Emily winks.
"But how..." too late she's already off to answer the door. I follow after her a little awkwardly.
"Yeah she's ready, she looks amazing, but you be a gentleman or I'll kick your ass okay?" She pokes his bicep as if to say 'these can't save you'. I don't understand her weird maternal relationship with the boys but who am I to judge. I come out from behind the corner and it's like instant, his eyes are drawn to me like magnets, he's forgotten his conversation with Emily already. Seeing him see me was maybe the hottest thing I've ever seen in a way that I really couldn't explain if I tried, the way his eyes traveled over me, I'd never felt so... that'd be getting ahead of myself. I walk towards him, noticing his short sleeve button up shirt and ripped knee black skinny jeans and how good he smells even from here. I don't know what I'm doing, I walk straight into his arms and suddenly I'm biting his lip, his arms wrapped tight around my waist as he breathed hard, there was something primal about him that I couldn't quite describe, he wasn't growling exactly but it was related. I want him, I need him, I want to feel his teeth on my skin again, I want all these clothes to be gone, I want him deeper than deep inside of me, I want so many things my head is spinning, I wasn't even aware of what I was doing until Emily slapped my arm, my hand was about to go travelling south of his body.
"Could you crazy kids get dinner and a movie and maybe do that where I can't see it" She chuckled. I vaguely heard Paul respond as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me towards the car but I was in a bubble. He helped me into the passenger side and then before he started the car, he put his hand on my thigh, stroking it with his thumb in a way that sent a wave of warmth and wetness to my core as he leaned in and murmured in my ear.
"You look... Beautiful." his breath on my neck was driving me mad, it's like every nerve in my body was on fire, they were all paying attention to him. He lingered there a minute, staring.
"You..." I start but he pulls my face towards him and pushes his lips to mine hungrily, he tastes like menthol cigarettes and something that's just him. His hand slips up my thigh, under my skirt, his thumb dancing over my panties, and for the first time I was so turned on I was in psychical pain, I wanted him, like five minutes ago. All of a sudden he pulled back, leaving me gasping and reeling as his hand lingering.
"Hungry?" He asked nonchalantly, slipping his fingers under my panties, I couldn't help the little moan that slipped out as he stroked my wetness, I nodded after a pause that was too long, I forgot that questions want answers.
"Me too." He sighed, slipping his middle finger inside of me without warning, I clenched my jaw trying not to be impressed at how he made my toes curl like that. He didn't linger too long, he took his hand back and shuffled in his seat a little, my ears were ringing, was it that? He was just gonna leave that there? I looked over at him about to make my own move when I saw him tasting me on his fingers with a smirk that did things to me. Fuck. I climbed over to straddle him, his hands found my hips straight away, gripping too tight as he ground against me. Without even thinking about it, I brushed my hair off of my neck, exposing his bite mark, suddenly he was still, gripping me still, he looked into my eyes in a way that could only be described as probing or intrusive as he leaned towards the mark, inhaling deeply. He grimaced slightly.
"Emily do that?"
"No, you did." I roll my eyes sarcastically.
"She pamper you up with potions and shit?" He chuckled seemingly unamused.
"Well yeah,"
"Don't let her do that again." The authority he said that with surprised me. I couldn't imagine disobeying if I wanted to, not that that made any sense. I inhaled sharply as his teeth met the site again, gently this time but it stung like shit, he loosened his grip on me, his teeth still digging at the mark. It felt like a test, would I back off? I ground my hips into his as he bit down a little harder. I could feel his heated gaze on me but I was losing myself in the feeling, I was so close...
"Not yet," He stopped my hips, looking into my eyes again, like he was searching for something. He pressed his lips to mine quickly and shuffled me back into my seat, he started driving pretty quick. I slumped in my seat, my whole body flushed, what is he playing at?
"So where are you taking me?" I suddenly thought to ask, he just chucked.
