Welcome back, everybody! I hope you all had awesome weeks. Anyone watching Mr. Robot season 2? Oof!

Anyway, sorry, let me focus. It's good to be back with chapter 2! I realize in the first chapter not much happened and it was total exposition, so here, have some actual plot. Um, not much else to say really, I'll let the chapter speak for itself.

Enjoy chapter 2!


"Is this okay, what I'm wearing?" Subaru asked, studying his reflection self-consciously. Across the room, Seishiro finished selecting a tie and tying it before looking over.

"Of course," he said, as if it were obvious. His eyes were narrowed, and Subaru flushed.

"Sorry," he muttered, looking away.

"You can stay here, if you want," Seishiro continued, coldly. Subaru said nothing, continuing to adjust his shirt. Seishiro walked over to him, placed his fingers under his chin and turned his head towards him. Subaru inhaled shakily, staring into Seishiro's face, his expression as unreadable as ever. They stared at each other, the seconds dragging by, until Seishiro leaned forward and kissed Subaru on the lips. "Stop?" He requested, when he pulled away. Subaru swallowed, then nodded. Seishiro smiled. "This party is just for show, anyway," he said. Subaru inhaled Seishiro's aftershave and bit his lip. "So stop thinking about it so much." Seishiro let go of Subaru and turned to put on his suit jacket. A slight shiver ran through Subaru's body as he gathered his phone, wallet and cigarettes. "Just make a good impression." Yet again, Subaru nodded, watching. Seishiro turned back to him. "Come," he said, imperiously, and they headed out the door.


Kamui turned up his music to drown out the incoherent ramblings of a homeless man pacing up and down the train car. He felt both totally out of place and ridiculously sexy in the suit he was wearing. Fuuma had said he liked it when he'd stopped by his apartment. He smiled as he remembered, rubbing his jacket pocket, full of the pills he'd be trying to sell. The C train crawled uptown and the homeless man continued to pace. No one gave him any money.


Subaru and Seishiro boarded the 1 train at Rector Street, the closest stop to their apartment. They sat next to each other, tense and quiet. The train rolled slowly through the ruined Cortlandt Street station, wrapped in plastic, full of dust and eerily lit by floodlights. Subaru inhaled sharply, the very air here seemed saturated with fear and sadness. He swallowed and closed his eyes, trying to stay focused, and Seishiro took his hand. "You feel it?" He asked, quietly. Subaru nodded, squeezing Seishiro's hand. "We'll be away from here soon." Again, Subaru nodded, grateful Seishiro was there. He mentally chanted a mantra of protection, but didn't feel better until they were above 14th Street.


Kamui got off the C at 96th Street and headed west, away from Central Park and towards the setting sun. A cold wind caught him across the face and he shivered, longing for the warm summer evenings that still felt far away. He crossed Columbus Avenue and changed the song he was listening to, trying to gather his confidence and get centered. It was like preparing to perform on stage. Tonight he was Kamui Shirou, mysterious young techie with a fistful of painkillers: charismatic and engaging! Kamui swallowed the rush of self-disgust. Compartmentalize, compartmentalize!

The person hosting the party was a CTO of some financial company, and apparently was doing it just because he could. Of course, people like that never stopped working: there would be deals being made, alliances forming and breaking. It wasn't unlike Kamui's line of work, but he figured it'd be way less volatile. He crossed Amsterdam Avenue, then Broadway, then West End and finally arrived at Riverside Drive. There was a huge traffic jam on the West Side Highway, but beyond it the Hudson River looked beautiful, shimmering in the cold evening light. Again, Kamui swallowed as he found the correct address and entered the building through ornate stained glass doors. Ignoring a visceral spasm of intimidation, Kamui approached the doorman, surreptitiously taking off his headphones. "Going up to the top floor?" He asked.

"How'd you guess?" Kamui countered, flashing him a smile. The doorman returned it mechanically.

"Go on up."

"Thank you." Kamui stepped into the elevator and pressed the button ostentatiously labeled "Penthouse." The doors opened, and he found himself in the hallway of an absolutely amazing apartment, all dark woods and lush fabrics, with a real piano in the corner of the living room. He looked around and immediately spotted who he must be the hosts: an older man and woman, greeting two men in dark suits. Kamui slipped into the apartment before anyone could notice him, then seized a flute of champagne from a passing waiter. Clutching it as a prop, he surveyed the partygoers with a professional interest. With the exception of a few older couples, the crowd was younger than he'd expected, though still older than he was. A teenaged girl, probably someone's daughter, was eyeing him from her sulky seat on one of the sofas. Kamui immersed himself in the crowd to eavesdrop. He smiled when appropriate, but never drew attention to himself.


"Your apartment is beautiful," Subaru told the hostess. She smiled at him almost hungrily and patted his arm.

"Aren't you sweet!" She exclaimed, looking him up and down. Subaru bowed his head, smiling graciously but feeling desperately awkward. Her husband continued speaking to Seishiro, who answered in that deeply unsettling way that was so familiar to Subaru: gentle on the surface but with something simmering just beneath. It could be threatening, passionate or seductive, depending on the conversation. The hostess grabbed Subaru by the arm and he looked to Seishiro for what to do. Seishiro nodded, smiling, and Subaru allowed her to pull him away into the crowd.

Across the room, Kamui watched this exchange with narrowed eyes. If the hostess was that easily swayed by a young man, this would be cake. That poor guy, who Kamui assumed was someone's plus one, seemed totally uncomfortable even from this distance. In the mean time, Kamui approached the piano. The man playing it was taking a break, standing next to it and looking resigned. "That song was beautiful," Kamui told him. He smiled rather stiffly.

"Chopin," he said, sipping on a glass of water.

"How'd you get stuck at a gig like this?" Kamui asked discreetly, looking around the room with distaste.

"I teach their daughter piano," he replied, eyeing the teenaged girl, who was making every appearance of wanting to come over. Before she could work up the nerve, Kamui told the pianist bye for now and disappeared back into the crowd.

Subaru was surrounded by a crowd of middle-aged women and felt like he was on display. He smiled politely, determined to do well for Seishiro, even though he felt terribly awkward.

"Own-me-oh-gee?" The hostess asked, betraying a Long Island accent. Subaru nodded, smiling, craving cigarettes and silence.

"What exactly does that mean?" Another woman asked, kissing the rim of her champagne flute, eyes as wide as she could make them with her forehead full of Botox. Subaru paused, he still hadn't figured out how best to explain what he did to people outside of Japan.

"I, well, I practice esoteric Buddhism and I perform rituals." An excited "Ooh!" passed around the circle and Subaru smiled graciously. "It's not that interesting, really," he assured them. "Here most of my work is blessing apartments when people move." He suddenly remembered Hokuto telling him in no uncertain terms that his talent would be wasted in the US. He kept talking to suppress the memories. "There's a lot of weird energy in New York apartments!" The knot of women around him laughed appreciatively.

"So like, could you do that to my apartment?" One of them asked at once.

"Certainly, are you having any specific problems or…?" Subaru knew she didn't, but feigning concern was essential. However, before she could respond, the CTO called out to gather everyone's attention, apparently intending to make a speech. Subaru's audience turned to watch and the hostess scurried up to join him. Subaru felt Seishiro behind him, sneaking his arm around his waist.

"Good job," he breathed, right into his ear. Subaru smiled, the praise massaging the tension and awkwardness out of his chest. He wanted to kiss Seishiro, or hold his hand, but wasn't sure it would be allowed.

Kamui watched the CTO's speech politely, tucking the cash the pianist had given him into his pocket. He permitted himself a sip of champagne, paying no attention to the speech but joining in with the sudden outbreak of applause. The speech continued and Kamui slipped around the crowd so he'd be closer to the hostess. He tried to remain as invisible as possible, but did a double take as he looked out over the crowd.

In the sea of unfamiliar, nondescript faces, he saw Subaru, the guy he'd met in Zuccotti Park. He was watching the speech with polite interest, standing next to an older man with glasses and a penetrating smile. 'That must be his boyfriend… Why the fuck didn't I recognize him before?! Oh god if he sees me that's a problem…' Applause broke out again and Kamui jumped, but joined in at once, trying to pay attention. Without meaning to, he looked back at Subaru, just as he turned away from his boyfriend and looked Kamui right in the face. 'FUCK.' Subaru also did a double take, then understanding blazed in his face. 'FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.' Kamui turned away and by the grace of god was easily able to sneak into the hostess's conversation. She looked Kamui up and down, immediately distracted.

"Congratulations," he said, though he had no idea if that was the right thing to say. Apparently he'd guessed well, because she beamed.

"Thank you! I'm so excited!" She gushed. Kamui could tell she was drunk, though adept at hiding it. Around them the party had begun to pick up: people were grabbing drinks and the piano music had started again.

"Your husband is lucky to have such a supportive wife," Kamui continued. She pressed a hand to her chest, the skin leathery from years of sun exposure.

"You're sweet," she told him, looking him up and down again.

"Just honest," Kamui assured her.

On the other side of the room, Subaru's palm was so slippery he was having trouble holding his champagne steady. That had definitely been Kamui, the guy from Zuccotti Park, and he knew what he must be doing here, though he couldn't believe it. Subaru's mind spun and he wondered what to do. He couldn't approach him, that much he knew, but what were the odds?! Did Seishiro know Kamui or why he was here? What if he found out? Subaru's heart pounded and he fought to maintain composure. He watched Kamui and the hostess exchanging conversation before heading off together down a hallway. Subaru took a gulp of champagne and started when Seishiro put a hand on his lower back. "About a year?" Seishiro said to Subaru, who realized he hadn't heard any of the conversation he was actually supposed to be a part of.

"I'm sorry, what?" Subaru asked, his eyes widening. Seishiro smiled in amusement, though Subaru felt the spasm of his displeasure and swallowed. Everyone around them smiled too.

"I just asked how long you'd been together," prompted one of the women who'd been interrogating Subaru earlier.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, a year, isn't it?" Subaru looked to Seishiro, who nodded. Everyone around them smiled indulgently. Subaru wondered how long the women around them had been with their husbands and prayed advice wasn't coming.

"Did you meet here?" Another woman asked.

"We met in Tokyo," Subaru answered at once, determined to make up for his lapse, wrenching his mind away from whatever Kamui was doing. Seishiro's hand was still on his lower back, stiff, stuck. "Seishiro was going back and forth, but when he had to come here to stay I offered to go with him and he said yes, so…" Subaru smiled, and everyone around him mirrored the gesture.

"I have to go back in two weeks by myself, I'm dreading it," Seishiro added, sadly. Subaru's heart leapt into his throat.

"What?" He asked, sharply. Seishiro raised his eyebrows and Subaru felt another spasm of displeasure.

"I told you about it on the train ride up here, don't you remember?" Seishiro's eyes darkened and his hand tensed against Subaru's lower back. Subaru's breath caught in his chest and he backed down at once.

"Oh, right, you did, I'm sorry," he said, doing his utmost to sound normal.

"He's all over the place," Seishiro said, apologetically to the surrounding crowd, who laughed. Subaru's face burned and he tried to join in.

"I'm going to get another drink," he told Seishiro, unable to look him in the face. As he hurried away, he heard Seishiro say,

"He's fine, don't worry." Subaru gripped his empty champagne glass so tightly his knuckles were white. Seishiro hadn't told him anything about going to Tokyo, had he? He wracked his memory, even though he was sure he'd find nothing. In two weeks he'd be leaving, how long had he known? Why hadn't he mentioned it before? The hurt burned in Subaru's throat, but he wouldn't get this upset. Was it even that big a deal anyway? Seishiro must have told him and he'd forgotten, he was all over the place after all… but he'd have remembered something that important! He couldn't get upset, Seishiro would be furious.

"Can I make you a drink?"

"What?" Subaru found himself at the makeshift bar across the room from the piano. The woman behind it, wearing the same unflattering uniform as everyone serving champagne, smiled at him.

"Would you like a drink?"

"Yes," Subaru replied firmly, though he felt guilty. He shouldn't be drinking and hiding, he should be talking to Seishiro about Tokyo, but, as that didn't seem to be allowed…

"What can I get you?"

"Um, I have no idea, I'm sorry…" He began, very awkwardly, but she smiled understandingly and started pouring different liquors into a cocktail shaker.

"You can put that here," she added, eyeing his empty champagne glass.

"Oh, thank you," he said, placing it on the bar and shoving his hands into the pockets of his suit jacket. The bartender shook the cocktail shaker and turned to someone right next to Subaru.

"Can I get you anything?" Subaru turned and was startled to find Kamui right next to him, looking deeply satisfied about something.

"I'm cool, thank you though," Kamui said. He looked at Subaru, who turned away, having no idea what to say or do. The bartender poured Subaru's drink and handed it to him. "What did you get?" Kamui asked. Subaru looked uncertainly at the bartender, who smiled reassuringly.

"Don't worry about it," she told him. Before Subaru could reply, Kamui asked,

"Do you want to go outside for a second? Get some air?"

"Good idea. Thank you," Subaru added to the bartender. He didn't look for Seishiro as he followed Kamui through a sliding glass door onto a small concrete terrace covered in potted plants. A few guests were standing in a corner, talking and laughing loudly, huddled against the very cold wind blowing right off the river. Subaru felt goose bumps rise on his arms, but it was a relief to be away. He took a sip of his drink and shuddered.

"Are you okay?" Kamui asked him from far away.

"What? Yes I'm fine," Subaru replied in a rush, and Kamui sensed his discomfort.

"It's cool," he said, very quietly. "I'm not working now, I just wanted to talk to you before I left."

"Me?" Subaru continually sipped on his drink out of nerves, and Kamui nodded.

"That was your boyfriend? The guy I saw you with?" He asked. Subaru nodded. The alcohol burned his throat and seemed to intensify the hurt in his chest.

"He-" Subaru began, but swallowed the rest of his drink instead and set his glass on the ledge of the terrace. He reached into his pocket for his cigarettes, then remembered they were in his coat pocket, which was hanging in a closet inside. Kamui, looking concerned, reached into a pocket of his own suit jacket, pulled out a carton of cigarettes and offered it to Subaru. Subaru looked from them, to Kamui's face, and back, the kindness threatening to overwhelm him. He extracted one from the packet and Kamui lit it for him. Subaru took a deep inhale and finally began to feel calm, though the effect of his drink was still intensifying.

"Better?" Kamui asked, though he still looked worried. Subaru took another deep pull on the cigarette.

"Are, are you here for…?" Subaru asked, very quietly.

"I told you I was, please be quiet," Kamui hissed, his gaze burning. Subaru had had the good sense not to make a big deal before, what had happened? "Really though," Kamui continued. "Are you okay? I know you aren't freaking out just because of me." Subaru laughed humorlessly and sucked hard on his cigarette.

"No," he said, finally. "My boyfriend is going to Tokyo on business, but he didn't tell me until we're with all these people, then he acts like it's my fault for not knowing!" Subaru looked surprised at his tone and returned to his cigarette. "I mean, he said he told me, I probably just forgot," he muttered, looking away from Kamui. The drink had raised a bright red flush to his skin.

"Still though, it seems like you were the last to know, and that sucks," Kamui said, reasonably. Subaru finished his cigarette.

"It does, and he's going to be angry with me for getting upset about it," Subaru said bitterly, swallowing the lump in his throat. His mind was getting fuzzy, and he felt like he couldn't stop the words, as much as he hated saying all of this out loud. Why was he telling Kamui all this, anyway? Was he really that desperate for someone to talk to? Kamui held out the cigarette carton again and Subaru eyed it longingly. "Are you sure? I feel bad…" His eyes shown suddenly in the warm light from inside the party, and Kamui noticed they were green.

"Don't feel bad," he said, kindly. Subaru took one and Kamui smiled as he lit it for him. "I don't smoke these anyway; I can't smoke what I want to smoke up in here." Subaru snorted, and Kamui's heart swelled, he liked seeing Subaru laugh. "Honestly though, I think you have every right to be upset in this situation," Kamui continued.

"Thanks," Subaru said. "It's always like this, I should just get used to it." Kamui toyed with the idea of pointing out Subaru could stand up for himself, but decided against it. "Is it safe for us to be talking?" Subaru asked. He was getting drunker, but his wide eyes (wow they really were green!) and deep blush made him look strangely innocent.

"For me or for you?" Kamui asked.

"For you! Don't worry about me!" Subaru exclaimed, as though it were obvious.

"It's cool, seriously," Kamui replied, though he appreciated the concern. Subaru nodded, smoking.

"The worst thing about Seishiro being gone is I'll be by myself," Subaru said, before he could stop himself. Worried he'd said too much, he looked at Kamui, this strange and beautiful person, so kindly listening.

"By yourself?" Kamui asked, a little sadly. His gaze burned, and Subaru felt his heart in his throat.

"Yeah, I, I don't really know anyone here, everyone is back in Tokyo…" He took a pull on his cigarette, blinking furiously.

"That really sucks," Kamui said, and Subaru shrugged.

"It is what it is, I chose to leave." As he said this, he wondered if he'd been able to go back to Tokyo with Seishiro, would Hokuto even want to see him? He swayed slightly, and Kamui grabbed his cigarette free hand to steady him.

"Careful," he said, warningly. They looked at each other for a few seconds, but said nothing. Then Kamui let go and shoved his hands in his pockets while Subaru finished his cigarette. "You could come hang out with me and my friends sometime," Kamui said in a rush, feeling awkward for the first time that night. Subaru looked him full in the face, not sure he'd heard correctly. Kamui bit his lip, but smiled encouragingly. "Seriously! My friends are cool as hell. Plus they're in different lines of work, so…" Subaru said nothing. "Here, take my number."

"Really?" Kamui nodded.

"Yeah! I mean, we mostly just hang out and play videogames, but…" Subaru retrieved his cellphone from his pocket, created a new contact and handed it to Kamui, who smiled. "You're gonna text me, right?" He asked, punching in his number and handing the phone back to Subaru, ignoring a twinge of annoyance at the lock screen, Subaru and his boyfriend, somewhere looking happy. Subaru smiled at his phone, and Kamui's heart swelled.

"I'll text you, don't worry," Subaru said, and Kamui knew he meant it.

"I should go," He said, though it pained him to do so. Subaru nodded in an understanding sort of way.

"Seriously, text me or I'll worry!" Kamui said, and Subaru's eyes widened.

"Ah! No, please don't!" Kamui took Subaru's hand and shook it, smiling.

"Good luck with everything," he said, giving Subaru's hand one last squeeze. He let go, turned away, and slipped back into the party.

Subaru stood there, watching the teenaged daughter cross her arms in frustration as she lost sight of Kamui. Subaru stared at his phone for a few seconds before unlocking it, intending to send Kamui a text, but the door slid open and he jumped.

Seishiro stood on the threshold and Subaru felt his insides clench with dread, even as his mind remained drunk and fuzzy. Seishiro stepped towards him, slowly, deliberately, his gaze impassive but his eyes flashing. "Come inside, it's freezing," he said, softly. Subaru gripped his phone painfully hard and hurried to Seishiro's side. Seishiro put his arm around him, making him shudder, and led him back into the party. Immediately, Subaru realized Seishiro was right; his hands were numb and he was shivering. Had Kamui really stayed outside with him all that time? "I know you're upset," Seishiro breathed, right in his ear, "but you'll have to stick it out." There was no comfort, validation or understanding. Just a cold statement of fact, and Subaru hated it.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't." Subaru's throat constricted painfully and he nodded, feeling terribly guilty. His drunk brain wanted him to pick, pursue, but he could wait until they were back on the train. He could at least do that for Seishiro.


Kamui felt the familiar rush of adrenaline as he emerged outside the apartment. It was always an enormous relief to finish jobs like this, although he still felt caught between himself and the person he was playing at the party, which made him aggressive and impatient. He got stuck waiting for the light at Amsterdam Avenue and kicked an empty coffee cup out of his way to blow off steam. An old lady with a walker gave him a dirty look and he sighed heavily, rocking on the balls of his feet and changing the song on his phone. He hoped for a text from Subaru, but saw nothing.

The light changed, and Kamui crossed the street, now feeling anxious on top of everything else. 'It's barely been fifteen minutes, chill the fuck out,' he told himself irritably. Why was he so preoccupied anyway? He barely knew this person, except that seeing someone that upset was, well, pretty upsetting. Kamui changed the song in his phone again. Still nothing. He sighed again, the adrenaline slowly leaking out of his brain. He couldn't even pretend to be any kind of authority on relationships, but it seemed like Subaru spent a great deal of time with his boyfriend worrying, and he didn't like that. Of course, he had only met Subaru twice and had seen him and his boyfriend together for about ten seconds, but still…

Kamui found himself back at the train station and checked his phone one last time, but still nothing from Subaru. He entered the train station, feeling defeated. It was a sad mass of concrete, full of groups of chattering young men and women and homeless people asleep on all the benches. Kamui leaned against a pillar, his heart still beating rather fast.

At least he was able to sell his entire stock quickly and be out: the hostess had bought everything he hadn't sold to the pianist. Of course, this was after she'd dragged him around the apartment, drunkenly showing off the "pre-war details" and touching him more often than was necessary. Kamui didn't care, he just hoped her husband wasn't about to come in and see them. Now he wasn't looking at her through his exploitative professional lens, however, Kamui did feel sorry for her. As they were performing the transaction, she had explained all about how doctors had begun tracking prescriptions for things like Xanax and OxyContin and Percocet with electronic records, so it was no longer possible to get doses from more than one doctor. Kamui had expressed his sympathy and given her Fuuma's work number, telling her to text it when she needed more. Now, though, he wondered if she was an addict. He hoped she knew how to keep herself from doing any real harm until someone forced her into rehab. Not her husband, he wouldn't notice her suffering, but her daughter might. As long as she wasn't as resentful towards them as she seemed.

A light shown suddenly at the end of the tunnel and Kamui straightened up. The A train, running local because of weekend construction, trundled slowly into the station, stopping three or four times before finally pulling in all the way. Kamui stepped onto the train, full of more young people in drunk, noisy hoards. He turned up his music, anxiety and agitation reverberating in his empty chest.


Subaru felt horrible. He wanted desperately to leave the party but knew it was far from an option. He stood faithfully by Seishiro, listening intently and politely answering people who spoke to him, until Seishiro said he was going to speak to the CTO and to leave him be.

Subaru slipped into a corner and watched the party continue around him. Though he was grateful no one was talking to him, he felt so lonely. Seishiro was angry with him, and it was all his fault, but now he wouldn't even talk to him or let him explain. Then again, this was how it always went, he should be used to it by now. He'd be acutely aware he'd done something wrong, though truthfully he wasn't always sure what, then immediately back down and apologize. He remembered a couple he'd seen on the train as he was coming home from a job, screaming every bitter resentful thing they could think of at each other. In a weird way, the raised voices and tears seemed preferable to Subaru, even though he hated fighting that way. The only person he would argue with like that was Hokuto. Their last fight had been so explosive it had left him crying as he packed his suitcase.

Subaru sighed heavily, the loneliness palpable. Was Seishiro planning a trip without telling him really such an issue? Couldn't they just go home and sleep next to each other and have it all be okay in the morning? Well, that would be up to Seishiro ultimately, but Subaru was more than ready to give up. He felt a sudden head rush of despair and swayed where he stood, but this time there was no Kamui to steady him. 'Oh no!' He'd completely forgotten to text Kamui! Subaru picked up his phone at once.


Kamui got off the train at 14th Street and began the long walk back east. His agitation echoed inside him with every step, but he did his best to stay focused, swerving around people walking too slowly. He felt his phone buzz suddenly and he retrieved it from his pocket, seeing an unfamiliar number.

"I hope you're home safe, I'm sorry for the late text!" The unsettled feelings in Kamui's chest stopped moving abruptly.

"Almost home, don't worry about it. Are you still uptown?" He saved Subaru's number and kept his phone held tightly in his hand, ready for his reply. 'It's fine, I'm just worried.' He crossed 6th Avenue, then 5th, finally feeling Subaru's response in his hand.

"I'm still here… waiting for Seishiro to finish talking business" Kamui rolled his eyes, feeling deeply for Subaru. There were times when he'd been at Fuuma's apartment, waiting to either be loaded up or fucked senseless, while he'd been on the phone or speaking to someone else. It was painful, and weirdly emotionally draining. Hoping he conveyed the depth of his sympathy, Kamui replied,

"Fuck man I'm sorry! I hope you're out of there soon" and changed the song he was listening to.


After who knows how long, Seishiro finally came to retrieve Subaru from his corner. "Let's go," he said imperiously, and Subaru nodded, his mouth rather dry. They headed back through the apartment, nodding and thanking and smiling, before collecting their coats and entering the elevator. The doors closed and the noise of the party was sharply cut in half. The tension between them tightened, and Subaru swallowed before asking,

"When exactly are you going to Tokyo?" He tried to keep his tone innocently curious. The elevator doors opened and they headed through the lobby and out onto 96th Street. It was even colder now and a spiteful wind skinned their hands and faces. Subaru shivered, waiting for Seishiro's answer, but he said nothing until they were inside the train station on Broadway. The platform was crowded with young people, drunk and enjoying themselves. Subaru chanced glances at Seishiro, his heart pounding, waiting.

"Who was that on the terrace you were talking to?" He asked, finally. Subaru's chest constricted around his pounding heart and he swallowed.

"Just someone's plus one," he replied, praying he wasn't blushing.

"Oh? Who was he with?"

"I, I don't remember, I'm sorry." Subaru's mouth had gone dry; the last thing he wanted was for Seishiro to investigate, find out who Kamui really was or what he was doing there.

"I'm glad you're making friends," Seishiro told him, smiling, though Subaru felt the threat underneath it. The 1 train finally arrived and they stepped onto it. There were no empty seats, so they stood gripping the same pole. Subaru wanted to hold Seishiro's hand or get some other kind of reassurance; this cold, silent irritation was painful and scary.

"I'm sorry," Subaru said softly, for it was the only thing he could think of to say. Seishiro raised an eyebrow.

"What for?" Subaru bit his lip.

"Just… aren't you mad at me?"

"No, should I be?" 86th Street. 79th Street.

"I don't know! I just-"

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AFTER 72ND STREET THIS TRAIN IS MAKING EXPRESS STOPS TO TIMES SQUARE 42ND STREET!" Subaru and Seishiro were momentarily distracted, but returned to their conversation when they realized the service changes didn't affect them.

"I… I feel like I've done something wrong and you're upset with me."

"Keep bothering me with this and I will be," Seishiro countered warningly. Subaru flushed and looked away. The train sped downtown and Subaru watched all the stations they skipped, forcing himself not to look at Seishiro. At Times Square there was a great rush to get off the train. Subaru found himself pressed right up against Seishiro as people pushed past. Seishiro placed his hand on Subaru's lower back. Although he wanted to draw comfort from the touch, it was premature. There was another rush as people entered the train and Seishiro pulled Subaru closer to keep him out of the way. "I'm leaving for Tokyo the 24th and I'll back the 30th," he said as the doors closed. "Okay?"

"Why couldn't you have just told me that earlier?" Subaru asked, before he could stop himself. He flushed deeper, but stared determinedly back at Seishiro. The train stopped at Penn Station, but no one got on or off. Seishiro's eyes narrowed behind his glasses.

"Again with this?" Subaru's heart hammered against his ribs. He wanted to pick, to argue, to point out that it would have saved them all this trouble, but he felt Seishiro withdraw his arm from around his waist and his courage failed him.

"I'm sorry! I'll stop, I was just worried!" Why did he say that? That wasn't what he meant to say at all. Seishiro smiled and tilted his head to the side.

"You're too adorable, Subaru," he said. Subaru stared back, confused, but said nothing, his heart in his throat. The train crawled further and further downtown. 28th Street. 23rd Street. 18th Street. "Everyone's wives thought so too," Seishiro said in a self-satisfied tone.

"I'm glad I did well," Subaru replied, wondering if it was okay to stop feeling threatened.

"Until you got upset at me for no reason," Seishiro reminded him coldly.

"I said I was sorry!" Subaru interjected, pleadingly. Seishiro brought his first two fingers under Subaru's chin and lifted his gaze up.

"Stop?" He said, tilting his head to the side. Subaru's breath caught in his throat, eyes widening fearfully, though he held Seishiro's gaze imploringly. "Stop?" He said again, and Subaru nodded, hating himself. Seishiro smiled his impassive smile, eyes shining behind his glasses, and took his hand away. Subaru swallowed, understanding he wasn't to talk about it anymore. Houston Street. Canal Street. Franklin Street. At Chambers Street, they were stuck because of train traffic, whatever that meant. Subaru felt so tired, he just wanted to be home, he shouldn't have drank so much…

Finally the train began to creep forward and Subaru closed his eyes as they moved through Cortland Street, a pain developing in his temples. He felt Seishiro's hand on the back of his neck and shuddered. "I love you, Subaru," he said, very quietly. At last they reached their stop. Seishiro kept his hand on the back of Subaru's neck until they were out of the station.

Their neighborhood looked even more desolate and depressing now: all the construction was abandoned for he night and it was far too cloudy for stars. The only light came from cars speeding up and down West Street. Breathing rather harder than was necessary, Subaru dug his phone out of his pocket to check the time. A text from Kamui! Subaru's heart leapt as he read "Fuck man I'm sorry! I hope you're out of there soon" He couldn't help but smile slightly as he followed Seishiro back towards their building, discreetly answering the text.

"Just got off the train, almost home. Talk to you tomorrow." He didn't want Kamui to worry. It was so cold, the last five minutes of their commute seemed the longest, but finally they were back up in their apartment. Subaru toed off his shoes, hung his coat up in the closet and went into the kitchen for some water. Seishiro disappeared down the hallway, saying nothing. Subaru's phone went off at another text from Kamui.

"Sweet dreams!" Subaru's stomach clenched at this kindness. He walked cautiously down the hall to his bedroom, sipping his water and trying to calm down. Seishiro lay in bed at his ease, shirt off, smoking, waiting.

"Come here." Subaru set his glass on the bedside table and took his time undressing, hanging everything up, fear fluttering in his chest. Seishiro just watched, impassive stare firmly in place. Subaru slid into bed, staying close to the edge. The sheets were freezing. Seishiro finished his cigarette and climbed on top of him, kissing him. Subaru made a noise of protest in his throat and Seishiro withdrew, eyes narrowed. Subaru flushed. "You won't give me what I want?" Seishiro asked, softly disbelieving. Subaru looked away, his flush deepening. He was so drained, he really just wanted to go to sleep, but if this would get him and Seishiro back to being okay…

"Let me?" Subaru said, quietly, his hand shaking slightly as he reached out and cupped Seishiro's erection. Seishiro let out a short, satisfied laugh, slid off of Subaru and reclined against his pillows. Subaru inched his pants down and set to work, feeling better in spite of himself. Seishiro still wanted him, he could still please him. Seishiro grabbed a fistful of Subaru's hair and he cried out, mouth open, breath shallow against his erection.

"You're so cute," Seishiro told him, his lip curling. He forced Subaru's head back down, and it was over quickly after that. Seishiro smoked another cigarette while Subaru lay curled up at his side, drifting in and out of sleep.

Sweet dreams…


The alarm Kamui set for himself went off, loudly, right in his ear. He groaned irritably, seized his phone and turned it off before rolling over into a ball and pulling his blankets more closely around him. He had to go see Fuuma, as per their agreement, though he really wanted to stay in bed: last night seemed to have drained him. However, after a few minutes, he sat up, stretched and forced himself to his feet. Cold, clear sunlight poured through his windows as he washed and dressed, trying to wake up. He felt much more at home in jeans and a band t-shirt than in the suit he'd tossed carelessly next to his bed. He gathered his bag and was out the door, headphones and hoodie on.

It was beautiful out, and 1st Avenue was crowded with people. He passed young couples out for brunch and families congregating with their small children. A mother carrying her son in her shoulders paused under a tree trying to bud, speaking in a language he didn't understand. He smiled, remembering his mother carrying him to school the same way on these same streets. He got stuck at a light on 3rd Avenue and looked at the texts he'd been ignoring.

"Hiya, just making sure we're still on for tomorrow at 3!" A customer, to whom he said yes at once.

"Bro can I meet you later?" Another customer.

"Yeah I'll be by Washington Square Park in a few hours." He'd need to get more weed from Fuuma.

"Hey sorry we missed you last night! We're still on for Friday though?" Sorata. Kamui smiled and sent a reply confirming their plans, then sent another to Yuzuriha with the details as he crossed to 12th Street.

He felt a glow in his chest at making plans, but couldn't help but feel irritated at not hearing from Subaru. He was worried about him after last night! Of course, he could text him first, but… Kamui shook himself mentally, turning up his music, walking under Union Square to avoid the clusterfuck around the farmer's market. His thoughts strayed back to Subaru. He'd been so distraught last night, and Kamui couldn't do anything because he'd been working.

His professional self was cool, charismatic and unconcerned. His real self… what did that even mean? Well, it certainly was better at empathizing. His heart sped up sharply as he wondered what Subaru thought he was. He felt incredibly self-conscious all of a sudden. He was fine putting on a face for other people, people he didn't care about, and even though they'd just met, Kamui knew he didn't want to pretend to Subaru. At 6th Avenue, Kamui retrieved his phone, though he had no idea what to say. Hey what's up? Are you okay? How was the rest of your night? Finally he settled on "Good morning!" and felt his face grow hot as he sent the message.

The rest of the walk to Fuuma's apartment was a blur of red lights and sharp, cold breezes. Kamui approached the front door, pressed the buzzer and was immediately allowed upstairs. In the elevator he took off his headphones and made to turn off his music, but his heart leapt at a response from Subaru. "Good morning… how are you today?" The elevator chimed and the doors opened into Fuuma's kitchen and living room. Fuuma stood behind his counter in just a pair of sweatpants, a mug in his hand and look of intense scrutiny on his face. A young woman sat across form him on a bar stool, also sipping from a mug. They both looked up as Kamui entered the room, feeling nervous. "Come in and sit down," Fuuma told him. Kamui nodded and took the seat next to the young woman. She wore round glasses, tied her short hair back in a ponytail and radiated a cool contempt. "Coffee?" Fuuma asked, his expression softening a fraction.

"Um, yes please," Kamui replied, cautiously. The young woman rolled her eyes.

"I'm assuming you've taken care of us," Fuuma said to her.

"You think I'd come all the way down here to tell you a problem without doing anything to fix it?" She countered, raising her eyebrows. Fuuma loaded a mug with sugar and passed it to Kamui with a smile, which he returned, understanding he could listen but nothing else.

"Potentially," Fuuma continued. "So what happened?" He leaned towards her, his forearms on the counter. Kamui felt his pull even from there and busied himself with Subaru's text. He didn't want to hear any of this; it was way safer if he knew nothing.

"I'm cool, out running errands. What's up?"

"I told you, Silk Road got shut down because the founder got busted."

"How?"

"He used his personal e-mail with a contact." Kamui rolled his eyes in spite of himself, sipping his coffee.

"Pathetic," Fuuma spat.

"I'd written a script to alert me if anything weird was going on, I won't bore you with details, but I killed all our points of contact." Fuuma stared, waiting. "Everything was secure anyway, but that's what you wanted, so…" She took a sip of coffee, eyes locked on Fuuma's. He smiled appreciatively and Kamui's heart beat faster. "We got out totally undetected and I've already found everyone important on the Dark Web, so there wasn't any significant loss." Fuuma grunted in approval and Kamui had to close his eye to stop himself rolling them.

'Dark Web? What is this, some '90s sci-fi jump off?' His phone buzzed in his pocket and he picked it up eagerly.

"Thank you, Satsuki," Fuuma said, finally straightening up, a satisfied smile on his face. Her expression twitched in surprise, but she recovered almost instantly.

"It's what you pay me for," she said, lazily, and drained her mug.

"I'm just expressing my gratitude! After listening to Kanoe bitch constantly at me all week…" Satsuki rolled her eyes in solidarity and hopped off the barstool.

"Thanks for the hospitality. I have homework to do." Fuuma's lip curled.

"So responsible!" Satsuki picked up her school bag and bike helmet.

"I'll let you know if anything changes," she said, and departed. Fuuma walked her to the elevator and watched the doors close before turning to look at Kamui, who was finishing another text to Subaru.

"Ahh yes that's what I should be doing"

"What are you doing instead?" Kamui looked up. Fuuma continued to stare, the light coming in from the ceiling to floor windows lighting up the muscles of his chest. He had that magnetic expression on his face and Kamui knew he was blushing.

"How'd it go last night?"

"Great, I was only there for an hour or so." Fuuma smiled.

"As I'd expect." Kamui smiled back, his heart beating faster at the praise.

"I need more weed, if you have any."

"I always have supplies for you." Kamui's blush deepened. "Do you want to work Friday or Saturday this week?"

"I get a choice?"

"This time, anyway." Kamui's phone buzzed, but he ignored it.

"Saturday," he said, softly. Fuuma stepped towards him, setting his mug down. He stood right in front of Kamui, his hands on either side of the counter behind him. Kamui let out a shaky exhale and spread his legs unconsciously. Fuuma's lip curled.

"Is supplies all you want?" He asked, his voice low and husky. Kamui kept his eyes on Fuuma's, heat flooding between his legs.

"No," he managed. He wanted to kiss Fuuma so badly, but felt totally unable to move. Fuuma's eyes darkened lustfully and he placed his first two fingers right on Kamui's throat, then dragged them slowly, torturously down his chest and belly. His breath caught in his chest and he shuddered, his body lighting up at the touches.

"Is this what you want?" Fuuma breathed. Kamui swallowed.

"Yes!" He gasped. Fuuma grabbed Kamui under his thighs and lifted him up into his arms. Kamui cried out and wrapped his arms and legs tight around him as he laughed softly in his ear.

"You're lucky I got good news," he breathed, carrying Kamui to his dark bedroom.


Subaru paused in finishing an e-mail he was sending to a client, thinking he'd heard his phone go off, but was disappointed. He'd sent Kamui "Being lazy and ignoring work e-mails" a few minutes before, but hadn't gotten anything back yet. He sighed, drinking coffee and smoking.

Seishiro had gone off somewhere but couldn't be bothered with an exact location or return time. Subaru hadn't said anything, feeling it was best not to pick fights. He returned to his e-mail, trying to schedule a consultation, his mind on Kamui. He felt immeasurably grateful for his kindness the night before and that he'd checked in this morning. Although, he felt guilty making him go out of his way like that when they barely knew each other. Of course, there was no denying the attention felt good, but…

Subaru forced his focus back to work, his typing the only sound in his shady, cold apartment.


And so it begins! Thank you so so much for reading.

I think of reviews when I summon my kekkai, leave me some!