Hello guys!!!
How are you all doing? I hope with everything going around the world right now everyone finds themselves in good health and positive energy.
Things are crazy in my hometown, we're sheltered in. Only allowed to leave our homes for food and or going to seek medical help. However, that might change soon because people are still out about like there's not a pandemic going around.
So I say this in the nicest way possible. Stay home. Watch your local news on any updates and follow any directions given. It saves lives. If you're healthy, good for you, but think about your loved ones that aren't. And this goes to those that aren't taking COVID-19 serious, please, please, PLEASE take it seriously. Do your part, be responsible, wash your hands like your life depends on it (KATE WINSLET LITERALLY SAID THIS, LOOK UP THE VIDEO). If you do go out please be safe, be considerate of the people working long hours and literally putting their life at risk to provide us the best medical attention they can give us, the groceries they provide at the markets. They're scared too. Be nice to them.
I'm sending lots of love to fandom, stay safe you guys. Take this time to read some Usa/Mamo stories to keep your mind off for a bit from all the craziness…
So please enjoy the next chapter to Finding Usagi, with being a non essential worker I'll be at home writing taking advantage of doing some more writing. I have been reading your comments, thank you so much for the encouragement. Love you guys...and now...Enjoy!
…
Hate was a strong word, but not strong enough to what she was feeling at the moment.
Detest was a more accurate word. Usagi detested getting up so early in the morning with a fiery passion.
Today was not an exception. She let out a loud groan when she heard her alarm go off. How was it Tuesday already?
Tuesday. She whined some more. Of all the days, why did it have to be Tuesday?
For starters she woke up a bit past midnight when she realized she started her period, staining one of her favorite pair of underwear. Today her classes started earlier than usual, and despite having grown accustomed to waking up early, it didn't mean she grew to be a morning person. Far from it. To top it all off, her body conditioning classes on Tuesdays were always intense. In her opinion it was far more brutal than any senshi training she'd endured throughout the years. Not to mention the mandatory two hour dance rehearsal she had every other afternoon. Senshi or no senshi her body always ached at the end of the day.
Letting out a growl of frustration and annoyance, Usagi slammed her alarm off. Rubbing her sleep away from her eyes she looked at the time, 5:45 a.m. it read. Letting out a curse, she hopped out of bed, rushing to get ready.
'I knew I shouldn't have hit the snooze button' she mumbled bitterly to herself.
She had less than half an hour to get ready.
Finishing the last touches to get ready, she pulled her hair into a messy bun still damp from her 10 minute shower. Now that her hair was much shorter, she was out in record time. Quickly changing into black leggings and an oversized hoodie, she opted for a makeup free day. She wasn't even trying to 'dress up' she felt like crap. No way going around it. Once done she grabbed her belongings and shot out the door.
"Sweetie—"
"Sorry Mama, can't talk now running late!" Hollering breathlessly as she tried passing her mom at the bottom of the stairs.
She was about to reach the front door when she felt her mom grab a hold of her arm and pull her back almost falling on her back.
"Mama—"
"No one is ever too late to give their mother a goodbye kiss, sweetie." Sending her daughter a playful glare.
Heaving an over dramatic exasperated sigh, Usagi rolled her eyes playfully at her mother, giving her a peck on the cheek.
Pushing a strand of Usagi's hair back, Ikuko squeezed her daughter's cheek affectionately. "I still can't believe you decided to cut your hair. What brought the sudden change?"
Looking downward to avoid her mom's eyes, she gave a slight shrug. "Just wanted to try something different. You know, new year of school and all."
Ikuko sent her daughter a questioning gaze, but before she could ask anymore questions, Usagi interrupted her. "Mama please, I really have to go. I'm running late." She did her best to wear a reassuring smile.
"Okay sweetie, I'll see you when you get home."
She shouted 'Be safe!' as she watched her daughter's retreating figure. She knew something was off about her daughter and she had yet to figure it out. She had the itching suspicion that she was hiding something. Ever since she started her courses at her university, Ikuko noticed she kept her distance, that she wasn't as open or talkative as she used to be. Even when they returned from their weekend trip Usagi had acted more distant. Hearing her husband knocking on their son's bedroom door, she made her way to the kitchen to finish preparing their breakfast, promising herself to figure out what Usagi was keeping from them.
Standing outside their first class, Usagi took a long slurp from her double chocolate peanut butter cup protein shake. She normally went for the healthier fruity protein options but today she was craving something on the sweeter side. She didn't mind indulging in any chocolatey sweetness during that time of the month, convincing herself it was for the greater good for mankind. A chocolate deprived Usagi mixed with a roller coaster of wild uncontrolled mood swings did not paint a pretty picture. Enjoying the healthier version of a milkshake she almost choked when she felt Asanuma nudge her with his elbow. "What's with the pensive look?"
Usagi scowled but then softened her facial features when she registered what he had asked. She shrugged her shoulders as she watched a group of girls talk animatedly about a new k-drama show that just aired the night before.
"Okay that's it." He stood in front of the petite blonde and narrowed his eyes. "You've been like this since yesterday, and today you look like a hobo." That earned him a hard smack on his chest. "Hey! I just want to know what's up with you?" He asked seriously.
"First of all I do NOT look like a hobo!" She huffed indignantly. "Second of all…" Usagi took a second to respond. Letting out a small sigh, "It's nothing…"
After seeing Asauma cross his arms and send her a narrowing glare, she let out a groan. He wasn't gonna let her get away with it.
"Ugh fine, okay it's not nothing…. it's just been four days since my birthday passed and no one has said anything. I know you probably think I'm acting childish, but I don't care I mean…" she took in a deep breath before releasing everything she had in her mind, "How could my own family forget it was my 18th birthday? My friends who are more like my sisters? Mamo-chan? Like okay, I get it, everyone just so happened to be busy this weekend but... gee I don't know isn't there a thing called modern technology where they can I don't know...send a text message!?"
Her whole body was shaking at this point, she didn't know if it was from the protein shake she was drinking or that she was trying really hard to control her outburst in the middle of campus. All she knew was that she was upset, she was pms-ing, and most importantly she felt hurt. Despite all those feelings, she also felt like she was being selfish.
Reaching the nearest bench, Usagi let her body fall into a slump. She felt disgusted with herself, she more than anyone understood this was finally a turning point in all their lives. A time where they weren't putting their lives on hold to protect the earth. She had no right to blame them. This was exactly what they fought for, a chance at being normal.
She couldn't take that away from them. Not her. Not when it was because of her they all had a duty to fulfill.
Asanuma sat next to her, he sent her a warm smile. "Usa, it's okay to be upset..."
Usagi shook her head.
Asanuma looked straight ahead, staring at nothing in particular. "Listen, I know I haven't known you as long as your friends or your boyfriend or whatever, but from the stories you've told me about them you're always more concerned about their needs—"
Usagi shook her head, a wistful smile on her lips. "That's what being friends—
"No. Friends help each other, they rely on each other. It takes both sides to make any friendship or relationship to work." He gave her a stern look.
"But—"
"Three weeks ago you put your GPA at risk when you didn't give your presentation for World Literature—"
"What does that have to do—"
Asanuma scoffed and shook his head, "Usa, you busted your butt on that paper, you probably would have gotten an easy 100 but you were out helping one of your 'friends' get ready for their presentation."
Seeing that his blonde companion stood quiet he continued on. He took a breath. "I get it Usa, you have this big and amazing heart and that's what makes you...you." Turning around to face her, he wanted her to understand there was nothing wrong with how she was feeling. "And I guess what I'm trying to say is don't feel bad about feeling upset. It's okay. It's also okay to put yourself first once in a while. You don't owe them or anyone anything. You are NOT a doormat, you have feelings too you know."
Thing was she did owe them everything. It was because of who she was that she owed them this chance to live their life and do the things that made them happy. She'd do anything and sacrifice everything to allow them to be where they are right now, a chance of being normal young adults doing young adult things. They had given up so much just to protect her, it was her time to give back. To give them back their lives before she took it all away again.
It was time for their happiness to be put first. Not hers.
Mamoru was pacing back and forth, 'why wasn't she answering her phone!?' He was getting more aggravated and frustrated the more time passed and still no answer.
He smacked his forehead wearing an exasperated look on his usual emotionless face. How could he be such an idiot? How in the world did he manage to screw this up and forget Usagi's birthday!?
He was trying his best to be calm. But, what if she didn't forgive him? He knew he wasn't the best of boyfriends. He knew he wasn't the best at communicating or conveying his feelings for Usagi. He knew that. But he also knew he loved Usagi more than anything in this world.
He knew he had to step up his game and prove himself. Now if only she'd pick up the damn phone.
He was going to pace again when the librarian gave him a pointed look. Her wrinkly narrowing menacing eyes made him shiver in fear. He smiled sheepishly at her and decided to take a seat instead.
It was the sixth time it sent him to voicemail.
Since pacing was out of the question he settled for bouncing his leg and tried calling her again.
Pressing his cell phone against his ear he ran a hand through his hair and released a frustrated sigh when Usagi finally picked up.
"Mamo-Chan is everything—"
"First I'd like to say what a complete idiot I am. Usako I'm so so SO sorry! I can't believe I forgot your birthday! Let me make it up to you!" He rushed out and a little too loudly apparently because the librarian sent him a pointed look while pointing at the 'QUIET ZONE' sign. He was usually one to follow said rules and admonished anyone who didn't follow them but this was much more important. So he turned around so he wouldn't see the menacing death glare the librarian was sending him. Again.
"Mamo—"
"No!" He cringed as he heard the old lady clear her throat a little too loudly. He mouthed a 'sorry' her way and tried his best to keep his voice down. "Usako, I just— Please let me make it up to you." He almost pleaded.
He looked at the time, he knew it was a cheap shot but he took it anyway. "How about I take you out for some ice cream?" He instantly cringed inwardly at how lame it sounded.
At her silence Mamoru tried again, "Um Yeah, I'm at the library about to meet with one of my colleague's for an assignment we're supposed to work on together, but I should be done by 5. We can have dinner, a movie, and ice cream… whatever you want.."
Usagi was about to oblige, she had been waiting for this. Not exactly how she imagined it. But him calling her was a start right?
She was about to say yes when she remembered rehearsals started at 5 today. Crap. What was she supposed to tell him now?
The ebony haired man was tapping his fingers nervously on the table he was sitting at, waiting for his girlfriend's reply.
"Um actually, I'd love to, but I can't today...Uh, I have to...meet with my tutor!"
Disappointment and confusion marred his features. "Oh. I didn't realize you had found a tutor so soon?"
"Mhm...Today! So um ..you see I can't bail, you understand right Mamo-Chan?"
"Yeah, of course Usako—"
"I'm sorry Mamo-chan, but I'm available tomorrow aft—"
"I have clinicals after school tomorrow."
"Oh. Um, What about Thursday? Uh, I'm not scheduled... to meet with my tutor until 5 again so—"
"I can't. I have a full schedule, remember?" He replied apologetically.
"Okay, what about this weekend then?" Pushing back a forceful tone.
She looked over at her golden haired friend as he looked at her in confusion and mouthing 'you have a tutor?' and tried to shrug him off. Ignoring her friend, Usagi squeezed her eyes shut to refrain from snapping on Mamoru. For someone who was asking for forgiveness for forgetting her birthday, he sure wasn't making it easy.
Then she thought back to their conversation from earlier in the morning. What if Asanuma was right? Maybe it was time to put her foot down?
Maybe it was time to make her feelings known.
Taking his silence as a no, she didn't wait to hear his excuse this time. "You know what, how about you just give me a call when you DO have time." And with that she hung up the phone.
The next day Mamoru had a hard time concentrating throughout the day. In all honesty since Usagi had hung up on him he hadn't been able to focus on anything. Even his colleague noticed his demeanor was off that he recommended they meet another time when he was feeling better.
He fucked up.
He knew and accepted it.
Thing was he didn't know how he was going to fix it.
Mamoru tried calling her last night but she sent him straight to voicemail. He called her house phone late in the evening only for Kenji to tell him she wasn't home yet. He didn't call again after the Tsukino Patriarch had asked if everything was okay after he'd told him he couldn't reach Usagi, he was too embarrassed and in all honesty afraid to admit to his future father-in-law that he had forgotten his beloved daughter's birthday. He had just recently gotten on his good graces. He didn't need to know this little detail...yet.
He realized Usagi was genuinely upset with him when she hadn't called and fussed in that cute way of hers whenever he left her roses on her bed. This time when he climbed in from her balcony doors into her empty bedroom he left her a bouquet of roses and a box of her favorite chocolates next to her favorite Tuxedo Kamen plushie, and yet he didn't receive a call.
He knew it would take more than roses and chocolates for Usagi to forgive him, he knew that. But that was supposed to be the ice breaker. A way to get her to talk to him. Obviously that failed.
This was not how it was supposed to play out. Usagi's 18th birthday was supposed to be special. Memorable.
It was going to be the first year she had the opportunity of celebrating it as a normal teenager. A young adult. The first year they got to celebrate it as a normal couple. A year free of youmas, no breaking up over nightmares that put her life in jeopardy, a year where he wouldn't die or had his memory erased...and yet he still managed to mess it all up.
What was he—
He heard a throat clear, "Uh, do you have the file I asked for?" A strong baritone voice broke him from his thoughts.
Mamoru looked up from his clipboard in embarrassment when he realized he was way too deep in his thoughts he hadn't realized Dr. Saito was waiting on him. It was then he noticed nearby was a group of nurses and residents looking at him oddly, a few with smirks on their faces.
He turned to face Dr. Saito, a deep blush of uneasiness on his face. "Uh, Dr. Saito, I'm sorry could you repeat that again?"
Saito-san quirked his eyebrow. He took a good look at the young man before him. "The file I asked for, do you have it?"
"Oh. Uh, I'm sorry… I thought you said to put it on your desk."
Mamoru's blush deepened even more when he heard some snickering from the group.
The tall doctor turned to face the group of nurses watching them, "If I'm not mistaken, weren't you relocated to pediatrics Maeda-san? And shouldn't you all be working on your tasks? I'm sure being nosy isn't one of them." Saito-san quipped.
The group of nurses turned a tomato red before bowing respectfully and leaving.
"Mamoru-san may I have a word with you?"
They walked into one of the vacant rooms in the ICU.
Mamoru kept his eyes downcast, he was too embarrassed to face the prestigious doctor. Here they had given him a new opportunity and he was messing up already.
"You want to tell me what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry sir—"
"I'll ask again, want to tell me what's wrong or would you have me put you on file duty." Dr. Saito was kidding of course, but if Mamoru was anything like him he'd choose the latter.
Mamoru whipped his eyes off the floor and stared at the older doctor before him. He didn't like people getting involved in his personal life. He hated mixing business with personal life, he didn't understand the need. Frankly, if he was honest he always wore a stoic look on his face to keep as many away from him.
If it wasn't necessary or mandatory, Mamoru did not socialize.
He didn't let people in. Simple as that.
Except for Usagi, of course, and even then he still had a hard time letting her past the walls he's built over the years.
"I uh—"
Saito-san crossed his arms and gave him a stern look. "Look Mamoru-san, I just want to help. There's obviously something troubling you."
Realizing that his stern face look wasn't working he sent Mamoru a warm smile, "I want you to think of me more than your mentor and superior, think of me as a friend, and as a friend I would like to know what's bothering you and know if I can help in any way."
Friends. At that Mamoru's eyes softened, he was never good at making friends. Maybe he could help him. Kami knew he needed it. He usually went to Motoki for these types of situations but last night he wasn't able to get a hold of him.
Just like he didn't like people butting into his business he didn't get into anyone else's business. But even then sometimes it was inevitable to not over hear the gossip that went around the hospital. When he'd first returned to the hospital he had overheard a group of female nurses talk about how beautiful Dr. Saito's wife was. And if that wasn't enough confirmation the golden ring on Saito-san's ring finger proved he was indeed married. So he must know a thing or two about relationships.
One thing Mamoru truly admired about this man was that despite being blunt and sarcastic at times, he was generally friendly and always smiling. Maybe he could learn a thing or two from him.
"I'm just—" He ran a shaky hand through his hair, "I'm going through a bad patch with my girlfriend right now."
Before Dr. Saito could breach more on the subject, a loud crash caught their attention. Both men whipped their attention toward the door.
"You have a girlfriend!?" Shock clearly written on the young man's face. Sputtering in bewilderment, his eyes widened when he saw the scowl that formed on Mamoru's face. "Sorry, we just thought you were… gay?"
Mamoru's eyes nearly bugged out. He nearly growled. He didn't know whether to strangle the nurse or to punch him square in the jaw. He'd forgotten his name, but recognized his face from the group from earlier. Settling on narrowing his eyes. He sputtered, "What!?...Well I'm not." He paused, realizing what what's his name had said. "What do you mean 'we'?"
"I...we just—" the nurse visibly gulped. " I'm sorry… it's just...you're always so quiet and oblivious to any of the female attention you get around here."
He did not have anything against the gay community, he really didn't , it's just he hated the fact people assumed he was interested in men just because he kept to himself and ignored any female attention that went more than a work related interest. He wasn't oblivious, he knew, but chose to ignore it. He had Usagi and didn't need nor want any of the unwanted female attention.
This time Mamoru did growl. " That's because I.HAVE.a.girlfriend." He was gritting his teeth so hard he swore he'd need to visit his dentist very soon.
The nurse could have sworn he saw Mamoru's eyes turn a dark shade of blue, almost black, opposed to his 'deep blue ocean eyes' as some of the female nurses stated. He gulped and scratched the back of his head nervously. Trying to think of a way to rectify his situation, he was saved by the bell when his phone beeped. "Well would you look at that, I think they're calling me up front." He scrambled off before Mamoru's murderous eyes could stop him.
The handsome doctor tried hard to cover his choked laughter with a lousy imitation of a cough. So he bought himself some time by removing his glasses and 'checking' for any smudges. Finally able to control himself he replaced his glasses back on and faced the young man who was still facing the now empty doorway, his posture tense. He made sure to add some humor to his next statement. "Well now that your sexuality is cleared, want to tell me what's going on with that girlfriend of yours?"
…
A/N
So our beloved Mamoru has finally realized his big mistake, lets see how he fixes this situation or will he be able to fix it? I don't know. What about Ikuko? Will she find out Usagi's secret..who knows. Jk, I do know haha but stay tuned to find out (wink, wink).
Anyway, thanks to those who are taking the time to read this, for following my story and for leaving reviews. I know its not a long chapter but I'm working on the next one as we speak.
Again, reviews are welcomed. Please be nice though. Like my mom always told me, "You have nothing nice to say, keep your comments to yourself."
Stay Safe. Wash your hands!
