A/N: OOF, this chapter is super angsty! Also, the mother fuckload of backstory! Enjoy!
Chapter 7: Echoes of the Past
Where am I?
The darkness all around him was enough to obscure his hands in front of his face for a few moments.
Then suddenly, his surroundings burst into light, and he was able to see where he was.
Wait...?
He blinked, seeing the familiar walls of the castle. This room in particular he recognized faintly, though it'd been a long time since he'd seen his grandmother's antique curtains adorning the floor-length windows on three sides of the room.
"What...?" He asked himself. "I don't remember this area looking like this for years."
Grandmother's curtains... they were lost when Itachi left.
He heard a faint giggling coming from the hallway, and he turned to face the door.
To his horror, the door was bigger than he'd remembered.
"Oh no," he muttered upon looking down. "What is this?"
He was in the body of his seven-year-old self, someone whispered into his mind.
Before Itachi left...
He heard the laughter again, and this time he exited the drawing room he was in.
When he looked around, he saw something faintly blond running through the hall, following something white.
"Wait!" He called, racing after the mysterious person.
He followed them through the castle, frustrated that his legs just weren't going as fast as he wanted.
They always seemed to pull ahead, and meanwhile, it felt like he was trying to run through waist-high water.
"Wait!" He yelled again, thrusting his arms towards them as if it would help him go faster.
After a horrifically long time of chasing them, they finally came to a stop outside, where the back gardens were located.
As he slammed the doors shut behind himself, he caught a better look at who he'd been chasing.
His breath was caught in his throat when he saw a younger version of Naruto, grinning like the sun, sitting in the grass with a girl with awfully-familiar strawberry-blonde hair.
"You're so funny, Naruto-kun!" She giggled, playfully nudging him away with her knee.
"Ahaha, really?" He blushed pink, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm glad you think so!"
That girl.
Sasuke's eyes widened, and he walked forward, resting a hand on her shoulder.
She turned around and smiled at him, her eyes glittering like precious, deep-green gemstones.
"Sasuke-kun!" She cheered, throwing her arms around his legs. "C'mon, sit, sit! You have to hear Naruto-kun's joke!"
"I got it from 'kaa-san!" He declared proudly, slapping the grass beside him.
He blinked, tears filling his eyes against his will. Dammit, stop crying...! Not in front of her!
Her face kept its smile, almost as if she were frozen in time. Both of them were frozen, like some benevolent force had hit the pause button.
He clenched his teeth and sank to the ground in front of her, his head bowed so that she couldn't see his eyes.
"Sasuke-kun?" She asked, setting a gentle hand on his cheek. "Are you okay?"
"What's wrong? Did 'tachi blow you off again?" Naruto cracked his knuckles, glaring. "If he did, lemme know so I can beat 'im up for you!"
"Sa- Sakura," he wept, feeling like the scared eight-year-old he once was. He gripped the front of her dress, though he hardly felt the material clenched in his tiny fingers.
"Sasuke-kun, it's okay!" Her voice sounded distorted, almost as if he was floating in the water... just like... "Don't cry anymore! We'll be together again soon. I promised Naruto!"
"That's right!" His best friend laughed in that boisterous way of his again, his face shifting from his innocent seven-year-old's to his handsome eighteen-year-old's rapidly, as if the sun itself was flickering in and out above them. "You don't want 'tachi seeing you cry, do you? C'mon, get over it! Sakura-chan wouldn't leave us like that!"
"I won't!" She firmly decided, lifting his chin with her petite, pale hands.
Instead of seeing her face clearly, it was distorted, waving in and out. Her hair, long enough to drag the ground, wavered as if blown about by a breeze... but it was dripping with water, discolored a sickening red in several places.
"Sakura, why did you leave me?" He cried, glaring at her with all that he had. "Why did you leave me?"
Naruto's face grew serious, and he put his hand firmly on Sasuke's shoulder. He didn't look seven anymore...
Their bodies began to shift, and Sasuke hardly noticed when his voice grew deeper, his hands grew bigger, or when Sakura's body began to almost melt, and he hardly recognized her when he looked up again.
Her body was distorted, her face blotted out of his sight. It was like a malevolent force had decided to hide her for its own sick amusement.
"Sakura! SAKURA!" He screamed at her, shaking her back and forth. "Come back! Don't leave!"
"-as-e-" her voice, even, didn't seem to register. Instead, she had what sounded like a thousand different voices, male and female. Her skin grew damp and clammy to the touch. "-Sa-"
"Sasuke." Naruto spoke, gripping his shoulder.
Sasuke didn't notice, too busy sobbing into what felt like 'Sakura'.
"Sasuke." Naruto spoke again, shaking him firmly.
"Sakura!" Sasuke grew angrier as he choked out her name. "Why did you let them kill you?! WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME?!"
"SASUKE!" Naruto suddenly roared, standing up and shoving him to the ground.
The breath was knocked out of him as his eyes snapped open.
Naruto was standing above him, looking both worried and angry.
"Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" He asked the prince, kneeling beside him. "You okay? Geez, didn't think I'd pushed you that hard."
"What happened?" Sasuke gasped out, clutching his ribs. "Damn you, idiot, why'd you shove me off the bed?"
"You fell asleep after meeting with the girls," Naruto explained as he helped him sit up on the floor. "I left the room for five minutes, and I suddenly come back to you screaming in your sleep."
I... I was?
Then fingers brushed against his cheeks. Naruto was holding out a handkerchief emblazoned with the Uchiha crest.
Sasuke felt his own cheek and frowned. "Was I crying?"
"You were hysterical, man." Naruto nodded solemnly. "What in the hell were you dreaming about? Hinata?"
Dazedly, he grabbed the handkerchief and shook his head. He dabbed at his eyes before blowing his nose.
"No, it was- something different." He almost wanted to break down and tell him everything, but he held his tongue.
She died years ago. There's no way that she's still alive... especially after what I saw. He thought determinedly to himself. No matter how much I dream about her, she's not coming back.
Sakura sneezed, wrapping her cloak closer around her body.
"Bless you," Tsunade said with a chuckle. "You sure you're not catching a cold?"
"I-I'm fine," she insisted. "It is a little cold, though."
Hinata shifted in her spot, staring at the flames in front of her. The cloak felt heavy on her shoulders. She glanced over to Karin, who was getting more ointment massaged into her back. Her shirt was off, leaving her naked from the waist up. Luckily, the male soldiers with them were elsewhere, having been shooed away so that Karin could get treated, but it was still uncomfortable knowing that they could pop back in at any moment.
She sighed quietly. The sun had set already, and the sky was growing darker by the minute. Soon, they'd have to extinguish the fire and head off to bed.
She fingered her long midnight-black tresses, thinking back to Konoha. How was her family doing?
How has Hanabi held up? She wondered. Her beloved younger sister, so full of energy and devotion... Upon hearing the news of her untimely 'demise', she must've been so heartbroken.
It was customary for women in mourning, though mostly widows in mourning, to cut off their long hair and wear it short for as long as the mourning period was. For women whose husbands had died, they usually left their hair short for months, or until a new match was made.
For women in disgrace, however, their hair would usually be cut for months to years. It depended upon how long it took for their family to accept them again, though unfortunately, for most disgraced women, that never happened. Many of them committed 'honor suicide' before ever growing their hair back.
Hinata shivered. As much as she knew that, if her family ever found out the real reason she'd fled, that it would take them much longer to forgive her, if ever, she hardly saw suicide as a viable option. If she was to ever rebuild her life, she needed to keep it intact.
"What'cha thinking about, Hinata?" Sakura asked her, scooting over to where she was.
"E-eh? Oh, um," she looked down with a small frown. "Just... thinking about my family, I suppose."
Sakura nodded solemnly. "Yeah... gets real depressing real quick, doesn't it?"
"Heavily." She agreed. "I can't bear the thought of what my sister must be going through."
Sakura kept silent as the flames crackled.
"I've been thinking..." The lady suddenly continued, catching the pinkette's attention again, "... it is customary for disgraced young women to cut their hair, right?"
"Sure, of course." Sakura nodded. Then she paused. "Wait, are you saying...?"
"I wish to cut my hair short," Hinata spoke up so that Tsunade could hear. "Both to atone for my disgrace, and to better disguise myself."
Tsunade frowned, holding her chin with one hand. "Hmm... that would definitely work, but... are you sure?"
"I'm quite sure," Hinata replied, firm in her decision. "I would be more recognizable with my hair the way it is. Besides, in my family, we are taught to honor tradition and family ties above all else."
Sakura nodded, gently taking a lock of navy-black hair and studying it. "I think I could help you," she finally chimed in. "I went through that phase myself some years ago."
"You as well?" She looked stunned. "But- but you-?"
"I ran away too, y'know." Sakura laughed, letting go of Hinata's hair to stroke her own tresses. "What, do I look that much like Tsunade?"
The girl didn't answer right away, but her embarrassed blush gave her thoughts away.
Sakura chuckled once more, patting her on the shoulder. "Don't worry, I get that a lot with newer recruits. I guess you take after who you aspire to be, right?"
"I was only thirteen," she continued, hands falling into her lap as she stared at the ground. "My family was rather well-off when I was really young, but we became poorer as I grew up because of what the Uchihas have done. Somehow, though, I always thought it would get better."
She snorted. "I actually had dreams once of marrying the prince, as if that would solve all my problems. I heard that he loved long hair, so I grew mine out. I heard that he loved petite girls, so I tried my best to diet when we actually had food... but what I didn't think about was that I was slowly killing myself. I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed from food, and all I did was worry my parents with my habits.
"Finally, when I was nine, I was with my cousins in town. One of them... she said something- I don't remember what, exactly- but I know it was severely critical of the royal family. What I didn't know at the time was that the king has spies stationed around just about every village in the kingdom, waiting for people to start criticizing him openly."
Hinata got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she covered her mouth with her hands when Sakura grit her teeth. "No... you mean..."
Sakura turned to stare her right in the eye, a burning sadness flickering like flames in her eyes. "They killed my dearest cousin. Right in front of me. She was going to get married the last of April... and they just- they just struck her down. My father used to work for the king once upon a time ago, and her side of the family was well-off, too. Her father was one of the king's advisors." She paused here to let out a sarcastic chuckle. "Guess that didn't matter in the long run."
Tears began to bubble up into her eyes, but she forced her emotions down. "They threatened to murder my entire family if anyone dared speak like that again. They were going to kill my other cousins, but at the last second, they denied ever knowing her. I was forced to deny my closest friend in the world. She just... she just looked so desolate."
She glared at the ground, her hands clenched tight. "To watch helplessly as the family member you loved most just... just die like a mutt in the street... To be pushed away from her by your own family so that you won't be associated with her and die too..."
Tsunade frowned, wrapping an arm around her.
"My dreams were crushed. I no longer daydreamed about being a princess, nor about marrying the prince." She wiped at her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. "The knowledge that, no matter who you were, the king would not hesitate to kill you... it killed me. I had to get out of Konoha or die trying."
She looked up at Tsunade, giving her a tiny smile. "It was on one of my father's trips to the neighboring village of Morino a few years later that I met Tsunade. I was desperate... so I made a plan with her. Riot had gotten intel that the king was going to visit the town in the next week with his sons. In order to escape, I would allow Riot to take me away and 'kill' me. My family couldn't know what I was doing, in case word ever got out that I was alive and a rebel."
Hinata's eyes widened. "So... so that attack in which the king nearly died..."
Sakura nodded. "That was partly because of me. I helped her plan."
Tsunade sighed. "I lost too many soldiers in that fight, but... what we lost in numbers, we gained in hope. We nearly kidnapped the prince, but someone begged me not to."
Sakura grinned weakly. "I didn't want to subject him to the Council, that's all. That, and if he somehow found out about me, then my family would die. And... I suppose I still cared for him, in a way I can't possibly explain."
Hinata nodded slowly. "I see... And after this, you joined Riot?"
"Yes." Sakura agreed. "In order to save my identity, I cut my hair only above my shoulders. Luckily, my hair turned pink like my father's after I defected and actually started eating again, so as far as anyone else knew, I was a strawberry-blonde girl when I 'died'."
"It's a good thing, too, because had I not met Tsunade when I did, I probably would've died from malnourishment." Sakura wrapped an arm around her stomach and grimaced. "I quit my feeble attempts at 'dieting' a little after my cousin died. Then, either I wasn't eating much out of depression, or something was happening that made it harder for my father to get us food. I remember that my mom found out that she was pregnant when I was twelve, so I was giving her most of my rations so that she would be healthy. My mom was told that she was barren when she was first married to my father, so having two children was nothing short of a miracle, especially thirteen years apart."
She looked away, and Tsunade wrapped her arms tighter around her.
"My mom... she ended up losing the baby anyway." She closed her eyes tightly. "Even though it was from other issues, I blamed myself for the longest time. I kept thinking that, maybe, if I'd given her more of my food, then maybe my baby sibling would've survived."
"I guess that was one of the other big reasons that I left," she chuckled humorlessly. "I thought that maybe, if my family didn't have to look after a growing teenager while trying to manage both themselves and an unborn baby, then maybe next time, they wouldn't have to worry about more food."
Noh came over to the campfire, a bright smile on her face. "Ooh, are we telling stories of the past, now?"
Tsunade looked up with a small smile. "Sakura was telling us about her past."
"Oh. What part did you get to?" Instantly, Noh sobered and took a seat beside them.
"The part where I ran away," the girl replied.
"Ah, yes, yes." The woman nodded. "You were so scrawny, you were practically just bones! I remember that even when I was still healing from a previous ailment, I could lift you just fine."
Hinata looked up at her. "Really?"
"Yep." Noh continued, "When she told me about her family situation, I immediately felt like I had to do something."
She turned to Sakura, "Your mother's miscarriage broke my heart."
Sakura looked down again.
"I was actually... pregnant, myself, when I met Sakura." Noh bit her lip. "After my husband died, I realized that I was expecting. Of course, one can't care for a baby that well while on the run, so I decided to give him or her to a loving family.
"I actually ran into Sakura's parents accidentally when I was trying to find supplies to stem my bleeding," she recalled. "I'd just had the baby and my bleeding wasn't going to stop any time soon. Her mother graciously lent me a towel, and when I explained my situation, we came to a decision for them to take my baby."
"To this day, I'm not sure whether my father was delirious or just crazy," Sakura muttered.
Noh smiled. "They seemed happy enough when I gave him to them. I did request that when he became of age, that I could see him again."
"Your pasts are... incredibly action-filled." Hinata looked down. "It fills me with shame to say that my own is... dull."
"Nonsense! Are you crazy?" Sakura gasped, taking her hands in hers. "You grew up as a noblelady! How cool is that? Surely you have at least one story of being rebellious and/or just causing mischief!"
"How stuffy has ol' Hiashi gotten since I've last seen him? I was once considered for the wife of one in the main branch, you know. Well, for a little while, anyway, so let's say he and I have some history together." Noh giggled. "Does he still get super red if you mention certain things about being a woman around him? Oh, and does he lose composure and just start stuttering when you manage to match comebacks with him?"
Hinata blinked. Then, slowly, a smile spread across her face.
"Well," she admitted with a giggle, "I guess I do have a few stories of Hanabi and how troublesome she used to be with Father. The poor girl drove him absolutely nuts when we were children."
A/N: Please tell me what you thought, feel free to speculate, and I'll see you guys in the next chapter!
