After skimming through several books each, neither of us had found anything. I couldn't help but think how domestic we looked. Sitting and reading in armchairs across from each other. A vampire and a girl with unknown supernatural abilities walk into a library… I smiled at the set up to the joke, about to tell Damon when he tossed his book onto the small pile that was forming.

"We're not getting anywhere." He muttered and grabbed another book.

"We'll find it somewhere I know we will." I said optimistically.

"If we don't, we'll have to search somewhere else." He sighed as he turned a page. I smiled softly.

"Thank you." I said quietly.

"For what?" Damon glanced at me.

"For helping me, I guess. Is it weird for me to say that you're my closest friend here?" I laughed.

"A bit." He said, without looking up.

"Damn, I should get out more." I winced.

"Probably." Damon said.

"But still, you a real one. You always got my back." I sighed when something hit me. I felt guilt, but it wasn't mine. "Damon, why are you feeling guilty?" I asked suddenly, the lingering alcohol in my system taking charge and asking before I could stop myself.

"I'm not." He lied.

"Yes, you are. What are you hiding?" I laughed. Damon didn't have any secrets hidden from me, I knew everything about him.

"Fine, I may have had a few more sips from Vicki before she left." He said.

"No, you wouldn't be guilty about that. What is it actually?" I snapped my book shut and stood, my hands going to my hips.

"I think you're overestimating what this relationship is." Damon said, a dangerous tone entering his voice.

"Damon, we're friends and don't say we aren't because you've slipped up and shown that you care about me." I shook my head.

He slammed his book shut, sneering, and stood. "I don't care about you." He said harshly.

"Lie." I stated confidently.

"No, that's actually true. You're so... human to believe that you helping me is anything more than business." He laughed condescendingly.

"But you-" I started.

"Yeah, I care that you don't die on me because you have the information that I need. Did you really think that you would be able to dig under my mean vampire exterior and bring out a friendship full of sunshine and rainbows? I didn't think that you were so naive." The words dripped from his mouth like poison.

"Damon, I know that being without Katherine has made you bitter, but you do have some humanity left. If you didn't then you wouldn't have done the things that I've asked you to." I sighed wearily.

"If I had any humanity left, I wouldn't have tried to drain Grace Fell of every drop of blood in her body." He said lowly. The room was deadly silent as the sensation of being doused with freezing water overcame me.

"No. You didn't-" I shook my head, and he chuckled coldly.

"But I did. Stefan slipped vervain into the champagne that you gave her, knowing that I just couldn't resist. How did you think he got me locked up?" Damon smiled wickedly.

Suddenly it all made sense. Why Grace hadn't told me that she had left the party and disappeared overnight. Why she left town. Stefan must have compelled her to leave. That's why Damon was in the cellar. And I freed him. My vision became blurry and I stumbled away from him.

"Oh, no. Did that upset you?" Damon asked without an ounce of sincerity.

"How- why would you do that?" My voice betrayed me by cracking.

"Like I said. I don't have any humanity. I'm a monster." He growled, stalking toward me. Every instinct in my body told me to run, but the stupid part told me to hold my ground. I managed to regain my composure for a second.

"I'm sorry for assuming that we were friends. You're right, I'm a stupid human for thinking you had humanity in you. Goodbye, Damon." I said flatly before turning to leave.

Surprisingly, he let me go. I ran to my car, once outside, and drove away, pulling over several miles from the boarding house to break down, shaking from the sobs that had threatened to bubble out before I was out of his earshot. I couldn't go home like this. Somehow I ended up at Caroline's.

"Oh my god! Alexa, what happened?" She asked once she had opened the door to find me crying on her doorstep.

"D-D-Damon h-he-" I attempted through my hysterical tears but I couldn't talk.

"Come here, tell me what happened." She ushered me inside and onto the couch in her living room.

"I th-thought we were f-friends. H-he was just u-using m-me!" I wailed into her shoulder.

"I'm going to call Elena, maybe she-" Caroline reached for her phone.

"N-no! Don't call h-her, please d-don't call her." I begged.

"Okay, I won't." Caroline said softly and rubbed my back in a comforting way.

We stayed like that for a while until a knock at the door startled me and I looked at Caroline fearfully. She walked to the door and opened it.

"Hi, Stefan. What are you doing here?" I heard her ask. How did he find me?

"Is Alexa here? She hasn't been answering Elena's texts so Elena got worried." Stefan's voice was calm with a hint of panic.

"Nope, haven't heard from her either," Yes, I love you, Caroline! "But I know she likes to go on walks by the woods near their house, maybe you should try looking there?" She suggested. It was silent for a moment and I knew Stefan was listening for my heartbeat.

"Her car is parked out front." He said finally. Shit.

"Huh, that's odd. Are you sure it isn't someone else's?" Caroline, the sweet, kind girl that she was tried so hard.

"Okay Stefan, I'm here. Run along back to Elena and tell her I'm fine." I called from the couch.

"Alexa, can I take you home?" He asked.

"No, you can't. I'll come home when I'm ready to." I said firmly. He sighed heavily.

"Okay. Bye Caroline." Stefan said before leaving. Caroline shut the door and came to join me on the couch, wrapping her arms around me protectively as tears streamed down my face. Fifteen minutes later, someone was pounding on the door. Caroline ran to get it. I heard the door open and Caroline say "Elena!" before my sister stormed into the living room.

"Do you have any idea how scared I have been? Why didn't you answer-" Her tirade ceased upon seeing my face and she ran over, kneeling in front of me. "What happened?" Elena's voice changed from anger to one of concern. I shook my head and began sobbing again. "Let me take you home." She said softly and I sobbed harder. After some persuasion, I relented and got in her car.

"Damon fed Vicki his blood, Stefan needs to make sure that she isn't at the cemetery." I said hoarsely. Elena nodded and texted him before driving home. She helped me get to my room and I collapsed on my bed.

"Alexa, please tell me what happened." She pleaded.

"I went over to talk to him because I thought we were friends. He was just using me to get to you and Stefan. He attacked Grace at the Founder's party and Stefan compelled her to leave town." I said blankly.

"Oh my god." Elena frowned and sat next to me.

"Yeah." I muttered bitterly.

"Well... at least he didn't physically hurt you." She said, trying to be positive. I shook my head confused.

"You aren't going to yell at me? Tell me how stupid and reckless I was going over there knowing what we know now?" I asked.

"It seems like you've suffered enough for one day." Elena rubbed my arm soothingly.

"More like a lifetime." I muttered. A small huff of laughter escaped her.

"You've got that right." She shook her head and stared into the distance. After a couple of minutes, her phone buzzed and she checked it.

"I'll be back in a minute." She said and I nodded as she left.

I have got to be the stupidest bitch around. Come on, Alexa! Really?

I sat there, torturing myself for a few minutes until Elena came back. She walked in with puffy eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked and stood.

"Vicki's okay." Elena said. I sighed in relief.

"Are you?" I walked over to her.

"I had to end things with Stefan." She said quietly.

"'Lena, I'm so sorry." I went to hug her but she stopped me.

"No, you're not. You hate him." Elena frowned at me as if this was my fault.

"That's not true, I had a feeling something was weird about him and didn't trust him. And would you look at that! He's a vampire." I hissed angrily. Her shoulders slumped in defeat and I immediately softened my demeanor.

"But hey, at least he isn't a zombie or something." I shrugged.

"Ew." Elena's nose wrinkled at the thought.

"Imagine kissing him and finding a maggot in your mouth after." I giggled.

"Gross! 'Lex!" She whacked my arm.

"Or holding hands with him and his whole arm popping off if you pulled too hard." I snickered. She laughed at that one.

"It's not your fault. Or mine." Elena sighed after a moment.

"Yeah, it's not like we could have known that vampires exist or that two vampire brothers would somehow get involved in our lives." I said sarcastically.

"True. I guess we've just got some bad luck, huh?" Elena frowned in annoyance.

Oh, Elena, you have no idea.

"Seems like it." I said.

Elena bid me goodnight and gave me a hug. I felt her annoyance, her anger, and her heartache go into it.

Why did everything have to be so shitty?

I knew that Damon had the potential to be good, but what he did to me was so unbelievably fucked up that I wouldn't be able to talk to him or trust him for a long time. I cried a bit more that night, feeling more alone than ever. When I had come here, I'd had hoped that I would be able to leave and when that hope was crushed, I had Damon. Without Damon I had nothing. Nobody to help me figure out why I was here and what I was, nobody to talk to about my past life, and nobody I could be completely myself around. I was completely and utterly alone in the sense that nobody could help me adapt to my new life.

More than anything else, I was furious with Damon. I had never thought that he would do something so horrible to me and couldn't fathom what could bring him to do this to me.

That night, I slept restlessly, fearing that he would come to our house and hurt me or my family. He didn't thankfully, and I was able to live my normal, boring, human life without any plotting for a while. Up until Lexi came to town, that is.


Hello hello hello! Sorry for the delay, I've been dealing with midterms and papers. I have three due next week and one the week after so I probably won't update until mid-November. Because Vicki wasn't turned into a vampire, I'm going to be skipping the episode Haunted and go straight to 162 Candles. I know this chapter was short, but bear with me. I've got some great ideas for the chapters coming up and I'm really excited for you to read them.

Please review/follow/favorite. Also, does anyone think they know what Alexa is yet?