She had had a happy life once. Uzumaki Kiana looked around, missing the sound of laughter.

She was one of the scattered Uzumakis, one of the ones who had seen the downfall of Uzushio.

And like any full-blooded Uzumaki, her longevity and her red hair was noteworthy.

Only Uzumakis who had the royal line didn't have all red hair. One of them had had mint hair (and a few children here and there), one even had silver hair that had branched off into the wolflike Hatake clan.

Ah, she missed her own children. Nagato would have been so happy. But he was supposed to be safe with Kiana's sister, Nemi, who had lived in Ame. A safe place.

She walked through Konoha's market, her crimson hair making people look at her twice.

Uneasy, she started to quicken her pace. Then she stopped dead.

"-not all Uzumakis have to have red hair!" A girl with dark pink, almost Uzumaki hair, stamped her feet in anger outside a - no, they were arguing in front of the place of holy food!

"Prime example, here!" a blonde laughed nervously. "And really, Karin, you may be a sensor, but the only hate you feel is Kyuubi's remnants of hate. He and I have been getting along a lot better!"

Kiana loomed over the group.

"Uzumaki or not," she growled through gritted teeth, slamming a hand on each head of each of the children, "you shall not argue in front of the place of the Holy Food. I am Uzumaki Kiana, and I recognize you as my people." She looked into the blonde's eyes. "Only an Uzumaki from the Royal Bloodline may hold the Kyuubi. Uzumaki Mito and Uzumaki Kushina must bless you from the Pure World." Kiana bowed, her hair falling to the side.

"Are you a prostitute?" One of the redheads asked.

"Idiot, you don't ask that kinda thing!" the pinkette growled, hitting the other with a flute.

Kiana drew herself up.

"I am," she said boldly. "You youngsters have it so easy," she sighed. "I needed the money."

The blonde girl opened her mouth.

"Will you help me?" she asked Kiana. "I promised the Uchiha clan that I'd save them."

Kiana instantly knew that this was a problem best discussed behind closed doors.

"I shall meet you at your home," Kiana said to the blonde, who nodded eagerly. "And I expect to see it reasonably cluttered."

Uzumaki were a tad scatterbrained.

The blonde frowned. "Uh, Miss, do you know where I live?"

"Uzumakis are naturally attracted to one another."

The pinkette looked a tad disgusted.

"Get your head out of the gutter," Kiana snapped at the pinkette.

The blonde looked innocently curious. Kiana could sense that while her mind was older, she herself didn't actually get it. And the only other redhead frowned and fixed her glasses.

"See you, then!"

Kiana watched them leave and went into the place of the Uzumaki Holy Food.

"One miso ramen, but keep them coming, youngster," she informed the old-looking man.

He blinked. "I'm not young. You're younger -"

She was blushing. "Oh, thank you, kind sir," she laughed. "But I'm actually one-hundred and forty-five." Uzumaki longevity was something, okay? She even remembered Lord Uzumaki Kazama.

He still had about a hundred or so years. Uzumakis lived about five hundred years if they kept their health up. Kazama for the longest time in her memory always looked young... But he still said he wouldn't date her when she was in her forties.

Ah, well.

The man stared at her.

"You look great for your age," he finally said.

"Thanks," she smiled. "I moisturize." She snapped her chopsticks, placed her hands together, and with the most solemn face she could muster, bowed her head at the Uzumaki Holy Food. "Itadakimasu!" She dug in, and people around her could only watch with extremely disgusted impressions when she pulled a Naruto and had about one-hundred bowls.

At least she paid for them.

And when she was done, she left, only to have completely forgotten what direction the trio of Uzumakis had gone.

With a curse, she headed towards the Hokage Tower, managing only to get lost once.

~:~

Sarutobi Hiruzen was doing his paperwork when a woman with Uzumaki-red hair appeared, her face severe and her hair in a braid.

"Hokage-sama," she said. "I demand the address of my Royal Highness, Uzumaki Naruto."

The Hokage internally sighed.

"Are you a stalker?"

"Hell no!" the vehement denial left the woman's lips with a scowl. "Now, young whippersnapper, do I have to kick your ass like my uncle Kamido handed Hashirama-sama his?"

There was a pause.

"You're an Uzumaki."

"No-freaking-duh."

"Ah. Will you stay aligned with Konoha?"

The Uzumaki gave a shrug. "Depends on what Naruto-sama wants."

He wrote out a slip of paper. "Hatake Kakashi will escort you to Naruto-kun's."

Said man appeared, book in his hand.

"Great!" she beamed. "I didn't know if you knew, but Uzumakis are usually directionally challenged."

She hopped out the window. Kakashi followed her.

"'Young whippersnapper'?" Bird finally asked out of curiosity. "Uh... What?"

"Uzumakis were feared for their sealing and longevity. It's said that their island, while diverse, actually had an estimated overpopulation rate of 400,000," Hiruzen muttered. "It was never confirmed. But I was there when Kamido whipped Shodai-sama's ass." Hiruzen shuddered, and it wasn't even theatrical. Kamido was known as the worst of the Uzumaki fighters, probably because he couldn't move two fingers on each hand, therefore almost unable to form handsigns and unable to write the powerful seals that made the Uzumaki legendary. It just went to show that in a fair fight, the Kami no Shinobi was no match to the worst of the Uzumaki fighters.

He prayed that Naruto would be okay with that Uzumaki woman.