Zabuza opened his eyes, shocked he was still alive. The Sharingan eyes haunted him.

"Naruto, tell us what's wrong." He tried to do a jutsu. It was impossible. Shit. Haku was -

Sitting next to him, looking pale.

He looked and saw the Uzumakis sitting around the child that had almost killed him.

"I couldn't," she said, hysteria in her voice. "I can't kill anyone. I see all their faces."

She buried her head in her arms and started to cry.

~:~

"This is a common factor when people do this," Kiana admitted to Kakashi. "I have only seen this jutsu done a few times. My uncle, Kamido, did this, and permanently paralyzed two of his fingers on his dominant hand because of it. Those with loving hearts and sound minds cannot kill, because they experience more death than anyone else." Kiana sighed. "I have no idea what we're going to do to Momochi or the child."

"How about we take them to Konoha?" suggested Naruto, stopping them. "After the mission."

"How are you feeling?" Kiana immediately asked her.

"I'm going to make a name for myself," the Uzumaki girl said. "'No-Kill' Naruto."

She laid back down.

"I take it that's a good thing?" ventured Zabuza.

"For her, yeah. You?" Kiana smiled sweetly, yet poisonously. "Not so sure about that."

Zabuza gulped. "Look, I was hired to do it! I'm raising funds to overthrow the Mizukage, Yagura!"

"No need, he's been deposed," the oldest Uzumaki said flatly. "Actually, from what I heard, he fled when his bijuu took over. He could be on Fish Island. I hate Kiri nin."

"I'm former Kiri," Zabuza corrected. "As in, 'no longer Kiri'. 'Left Kiri'. Synonymous to -"

"Oh, shut up," Kiana snapped. "How about you, cutie? What's your name?"

The kid looked highly alarmed at Kiana's sudden niceness.

"Uh... Well, I'm Yuki Haku," he said. "And I'm a guy."

Kiana nodded. "So does that mean you left Kiri because of the bloodline purges?"

Haku nodded hesitantly. "Zabuza-sama saved me."

Kiana eyed Zabuza with some respect.

"Nice going," Kiana said, genuinely happy that he did that.

"Are Uzumaki psychotic?" Zabuza asked, looking at Asuma, probably assuming from the blatant porn that Kakashi was holding that he was not going to be any help (assuming correctly).

Asuma sighed. "Yep."

Zabuza slammed his head against a tree.

~:~

Inari stared at the redheads. They were real! Uzumakis were real!

Well, unless the hair was dyed. And if they weren't as pyscho as he'd heard.

"Moderation in front of the children, Naruto-sama," the silver-haired guy said, patting a blonde.

"You're an Uzumaki?" Inari asked.

The blonde nodded. "Yeah!" she grinned.

"But you're not a redhead!"

"Nope! My father was a Senju, obviously, or a Yamanaka," the blonde said.

"You actually look kind of like the Fourth Hokage," Tsunami blurted.

Naruto snorted as Kiana and pretty much everyone who knew the Fourth Hokage's looks tilted their heads.

"I am so not related to him," she snorted. "If I was related to him, I would've been made aware by Hokage-jiji."

Kiana had an 'ah-hah' look upon her face.

"So, when do you plan to marry that Hyuuga girl?" she asked Naruto conversationally.

Naruto choked on her food.

"Hinata?"

"No, that other girl. Neji."

Naruto stared at her. "Who's Neji?"

"The girl you're always talking to!" Kiana smiled brightly.

"Auntie Kiana, I only talk to Hinata," Naruto replied. "And despite the fact that I have been influenced by way of females thanks to a specific seal, I am not exactly old enough to be sexually attracted to anyone."

She said this in a reasonable tone.

"Yeah, you're definitely Uzumakis," Inari said with a big grin. "You're all psychotic."

All the Uzumakis at the table stood, bowed, and said in unison, "Why thank you!"

Inari had good faith in them.

After all, Uzumakis were psychotic and fierce. They could beat Gato.