The Chuunin Exams. What a waste of time.

Naruto yawned, her pencil down. As it had been for the entire time. From the beginning.

She picked up her pencil again, thinking on what to draw. She kind of needed to tell Neji that they were half-siblings, but since it wasn't a pressing matter right then - like life-or-death pressing. Plus, she was only 2 percent Hyuuga. Out of the mixed blood she had, she had 4% other and over 50% Uzumaki (and according to Nurse Kimimaka, it was growing) which meant she had more Uzumaki blood than just half. More than likely she'd become 90% Uzumaki with a tad Senju and 'other' thrown in there (which basically meant 6% Senju, 2% Uchiha [if she was really related to Kazama; how many Uzumaki children were named Kushina, anyway?] and 2% Hyuuga).

She decided to draw a lizard. One of those frilled ones. It took up page, and she was not a good artist.

She paused as she looked at the finished attempt, then put an Uzumaki swirl on it. She managed to get Sasuke's attention, and he shot her a glare for interrupting his work. But when he saw the drawing, his mouth twitched in amusement.

Number 9 was the only one that had no lines drawn over the answer box.

So she drew a fishcake. A naruto.

She had a perfectly straight face, too, when Ibiki loomed over her.

"Are you sure you don't want to leave, too, gaki?"

Looking around, Naruto saw more than half of the people were gone.

"Positive," she answered with a cheeky smirk.

She would show the Sandaime that she did not belong to Konoha.

"You're lucky that you're you, gaki, and I don't hate you. Unlike most of these other gakis." He went to leave, but Naruto sighed in disappointment.

"Man, it's not as bad as I thought it would be, but really? Why do you go through all this trouble if there isn't a tenth question?"

There was a frozen silence. Ibiki turned to her.

"What makes you think there is no tenth question, gaki?"

"There's no period after the last number on the paper," she said, blinking 'innocently'. "There is a '1' and a '0', but no period. There's supposed to be a period. If there was a number 'ten', there would be a period or a half parenthesis."

Karin snorted. "Man, I didn't even notice that! Nice job, Naru-nee-chan!"

"Karin-nee-san! I didn't notice you here!" Naruto stood up and pointed at her like she was accusing her of something. "I have to beat you up!"

"For what?" Karin asked, confused.

"You... Stole..." Naruto's eyes were shaded by her bangs. "MY PACKET OF INSTANT RAMEN! WHO SAID YOU COULD EAT THE RAMEN I BOUGHT?!"

"Nina said so!"

"I'm clan head!"

"Nina's nearly a senior citizen!"

"I'M CLAN HEAD!"

"Nina's older and much wiser than you!"

"I'M FUCKING CLAN HEAD! THAT WAS MY RAMEN!"

"ENOUGH! THERE WILL BE TIME TO KILL EACH OTHER LATER!" Ibiki boomed, shutting the two Uzumakis up.

"This isn't over," Karin hissed.

"Yes, it is," Naruto said. A small poof later and the warm aroma of Ramen filled the room.

Karin's jaw dropped. "You brought the Holy Food with you?!"

"Of course," Naruto said, as though it were obvious. "I actually like eating ramen every day. But look! This is the vegetable ramen Ichiraku-jiji whipped up for me because apparently I have some vitamin deficiencies!"

"You're deficient, all right, but not because of vegetable deficiency," a Kiri nin on Naruto's left muttered.

Naruto froze. Killer Intent blasted out of her as she slowly turned to the Kiri nin.

"Hey, Kiri nin. Don't think I don't know what you did to my clan members," Naruto hissed, causing the other two Uzumakis in the room to blast their KI, making everyone else in the room (apart from about five, maybe six unphased people. Sasuke wasn't listening to the Uzumaki bickering, therefore he didn't know. He was busy listening to Hinata talk about her medicine skills, which meant she didn't know. Neji didn't care and he was too busy listening to Hinata, too. Ibiki was used to KI, as was Anko. And Shino didn't feel it because he was Shino. And Lee... Well, he terrified people from his green suit alone but was like his sensei and couldn't read the mood of the room well. Sadly, there were also two people who were scared senseless because they thought this KI was coming from somewhere else. And that smile on their kid brother's face was also quite terrifying, too. Gaara could feel it, and he was happy. He also liked the smell of that soup. What was it called?) choke just by feeling it in the air.

"Oi, gakis!" Anko said, unintentionally saving the Kiri nin from slow death by emotional suffocation. "There'll be time for killing each other later."

Naruto, Karin, and Tayuya all sat down, KI gone. Naruto slurped on her soup and rebuffed a tendril of sand from stealing her ramen as Anko spoke.

"Follow me if you wanna become chuunin. Or die." Anko paused and unrolled a paper. "Damn, the Sandaime's gonna kill me."

"You didn't read the script on what the Sandaime wanted you to say before you came in here?" Ibiki asked, sweatdropping.

"Nope!" Anko said with a grin. "Now, maggots! Let's go to Training Ground 44!"

Naruto cheered. Tayuya and Karin did, too. Seriously, the Forest of Death?

AWESOME!

~:~

Kakashi pretended to be oblivious of the glances some of the foreign ninja instructors were giving him. His kawaii genin and clan members made him so proud!

"Oi, Hatake-san. Is that loudmouth yours?" one of the Sand-nin asked him.

Kakashi glanced at him.

"Why, yes, Baka."

"Baki," Baki snapped.

"Uh-huh. Whatever you say, Biki. My kawaii genin are going to win~" the jounin said with a disturbing grin.

"Please keep your insanity to yourself, Kakashi," the Hokage said with a sigh.

"But I can't lie, that would be an offense nowhere near as bad as Underwear Thieving!" the silver-haired jounin protested. "It would land me in jail for five hours."

Okay... Wow, Kakashi was crazy.

"I think you need to go into therapy, Kakashi," Kurenai said. Something nobody had said to him for a while.

Kakashi looked at her wonderingly.

"Why?" he asked, sounding truly puzzled.

"Because the next crazy thing that comes out of your mouth will probably be some insane BS like that 'Underwear Thieving' you were talking about."

Kakashi shook his head and held his hand out.

A big, ornate book fell into his hand.

"Thanks, Kiana."

The looked and saw the Uzumaki woman on the ceiling.

"No problem. I landed in jail for five years for that." She kept her eyes closed, but then opened them. "Ooh, Naruto signed the waiver."

"Yep, she's supposed to. Okay, here we are. THE TEN GREAT DO-NOTS: DO NOT MURDER. That's obvious, and that's a forty-year sentence. DON'T DISCARD UNEATEN HOLY FOOD. I didn't know this could get you ten years. DON'T PET THE PURPLE UNICORNS. Oh, that's why! Eating the purple Uzushio-only plant will make you see enemy ninja as purple unicorns. This gets you probable death. DO NOT LIE. Uzumaki have a lot of sensors and you'll go to jail for five hours. DON'T BE CRAZY IN FRONT OF NON-UZUMAKI HUMANS. Again, obvious, but this one's more of a social suicide than an actual punishment," continued the Hatake. The ninja were all staring at him like he lost his marbles. In fairness, he had. "DON'T STEAL. This gets you in jail for five weeks. DON'T CHEAT NON-UZUMAKIS. If found out you cheated non-Uzumakis, you get ten months in jail. DON'T CHEAT OTHER UZUMAKIS. Well, it's more of a 'don't get caught doing it, otherwise you go to jail for a year' kind of thing. DON'T HAVE FIFTY NON-UZUMAKI CHILDREN - this one was more or less pointed towards the ones who had relations with non-Uzumakis. But it's difficult to tell if you had a non-Uzumaki child or not. Right, Kiana?"

"Well, kind of," the Uzumaki woman said in a bland tone. "If the child has red hair, it's an Uzumaki. If it didn't, it was probably an Uzumaki. Still, there were more redheaded Uzumakis than there were non-redheads, possibly because whenever the Uzumaki gave birth to a non-redhead it was probably agreed to keep the scandal quiet, so the child was sent to the homeland of the ninja parent who did NOT have red hair."

"And of course, the most infamous, the DON'T STEAL UNDERWEAR. It's gross, it's costly, and it's weird. Ha, Kurenai. It's real!" Kakashi taunted.

"Shouldn't you keep the Ten Great Do-Nots to your clan?" asked Asuma.

Kiana retrieved the book.

"It really doesn't matter if Iwa, Kiri, or Kumo has an idea of the Ten Great Do-Nots," Kiana said. "We're Uzumakis. We do what we want."

"And here I thought you were a nice clan, like mostly polite," mumbled Kurenai.

"You outsiders can never know what the Uzumakis are really like," Kiana explained in a polite voice. "Nor do you know what we're truly capable of."

No. It seemed that they did not.