Chapter 14: Moving Forward

"Really?" she asks, giggling and literally feeling the weight of her awful day lift away.

"Yes," Derek laughs, "I really do love you."

"That's amazing," Meredith laughs again, hugging him tightly, "I love you too, but I was afraid to tell you because I thought maybe you didn't love me and if I told you I'd freak you out, but Lexie and Molly said…"

Derek stops her ramble by kissing her. He kisses her for a long time - until she goes soft and pliant in his arms. He kisses her until he can barely breathe and assuming she's almost out of air too, he breaks the kiss. She sighs happily, he chuckles and says, "Now, say that again - without all the adorable, nervous rambling."

Meredith smacks him in the arm but says, "I love you, Derek."

"I love you, Meredith." He hugs her again and says, "I can feel you smiling."

"I am. I just had the most awful day. A really, atrociously awful day that I have no real desire to talk about, but now…" she sighs and leans up to kiss him again. "Tonight, is a really great night. A freezing cold night. So, I want to crawl under a bunch of blankets with you and eat cheesecake. Okay?"

Derek laughs but agrees to her plan. Cheesecake and cuddling under blankets with Meredith. It sounds perfect to him


'How's Brandon?"

"I broke it off with him," Cristina answers and takes a drink of her beer.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know," Meredith states. "You seem all right."

"I'm great," Cristina laughs. "It was a couple of weeks ago. I felt sad about it for a few days but never devastated or heart broken. That's telling, huh?"

"Yeah, it tells me you did the right thing by ending it and not marrying him."

"The funny thing is - Brandon didn't seem too upset by it. In fact, he seemed kind of relieved."

"Really?"

"Really. So, how are things going with Derek?"

"Great," Meredith answers as a glowing smile spreads across her face.

"Does he know you love him yet?"

"Yes," Meredith answers. "Remember a few weeks ago when I lost two patients in one day."

"Yeah."

"When I went home that night Derek was there waiting for me with cheesecake. We told each other that night."

"Nice way to turn a crap day around," Cristina states.

"Yes, very nice."

"Not that it's really any of my business, but why doesn't Derek ever come here and have a drink with us?"

"Oh, umm…" Meredith hesitates and starts picking at the label on her beer bottle. "He can't really come here. Well, I suppose he can, but I don't think he'd feel comfortable here."

"Is he an alcoholic?" Cristina questions

"What?" Meredith gives a small laugh. "No, he's not an alcoholic, Cristina."

Cristina looks at Meredith curiously, waiting for her to continue. Meredith sighs and says, "Derek is blind."

Cristina laughs until she realizes Meredith isn't laughing with her. "Oh crap," she says, "You aren't kidding."

"No, I'm not kidding. Derek really is blind. To be honest, I've never asked him to meet me here because I can't imagine that he'd be comfortable in this environment."

"I guess he wouldn't," Cristina agrees. Then asks, "Why haven't you told me? Does he not want anyone to know?"

"It's not something you really blurt out. And Derek… he's private about it, but he's not trying to keep it a secret."

"Wow -I can't even imagine - "Cristina trails off, as if she doesn't want to finish her thought.

"Losing your sight and not being able to cut?"

"Yes," Cristina states. "Does he talk about it? I'm sorry, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

"It's okay Cristina. It's just - we don't dwell on Derek being blind. Yes, we've talked about it, but… well… "Meredith sighs and takes a deep breath before continuing, "Not to sound cliché, but it is what it is, and I love Derek. So, I've made some adjustments to fit into his life, but it's been a gift and not a sacrifice. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it makes sense, but I don't know if I could do it - make adjustments to my life like you have."

"You could if you were in love with someone."

"I don't know if I'd even give someone the chance, though."

"That's sad, Cristina."

"I'm just being honest."

"I understand that, but I still think it's sad."

They don't say anything more about it. They just finish their drinks, talk a bit about surgeries they each have scheduled and then leave Joe's to go home for the night.


Meredith doesn't go home. She drives out to Derek's. Normally she would call first but she doesn't tonight because she feels a really strong need to see him. She knocks on his front door and it opens almost immediately.

"Hi Baby."

"Hey Babe." he says with a smile. He grunts a little as she throws her arms around him and kisses him - slightly urgent.

"I love you," she says. "I'm sorry I didn't call first."

Derek laughs and pulls her inside before shutting the door. He answers, "First, I love you, too. And second, you don't need to call first. That's just silly at this point. In fact, I have something for you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Come on, it's in the bedroom."

"Oh," Meredith giggles. "Is that right?"

"Yes," Derek laughs. "Don't have a dirty mind. It's completely innocent."

"Damn," Meredith mutters, making Derek laugh again.

He sits down on the bed and Meredith sits beside him as he opens his nightstand drawer and pulls out two things. He hands them to her and at first, she is too surprised to say anything. She simply stares at the objects in her hand with a smile on her face.

When the silence stretches on a little longer, Derek says, "Please don't be freaked out, Meredith."

"What? Oh," She looks up at Derek's face and sees that he looks a little nervous. She takes his hand and places it upon her face for him to feel her smile. She says, "I'm not freaked out at all. I'm assuming the key is to your house."

"Yes," Derek nods, pulling her closer to him.

"What is the remote control for?"

"The garage," he chuckles.

"Of course, it is," she giggles. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"You were too busy having dirty thoughts."

"That must be it," she agrees. Meredith gives him a little kiss and says, "I'll be right back."

"Okay," he answers, a little baffled as he listens to her go to his living room.

Meredith comes back to sit beside him a moment later. She opens his hand and places a single key in his palm and says, "I had it made a week ago. You know, in case you ever want to surprise me again. You won't have to wait outside for me. I noticed you only have two keys on your ring," she rambles nervously. "A big one and a little one. So, I had a rubber thingy put on the top of the key for you so you can tell it apart."

"Meredith…"

"I mean, tell my apartment key from your house key."

"Meredith," Derek interrupts again, laughing. "Why are you nervous? I just keyed you, too."

"I don't know," she mumbles. "Maybe because I've never given anyone a key to my place before. I don't want you to think I'm assuming anything."

"Mer," he says softly, turning to embrace her. "We love one another. I think it's safe for us to assume certain things."

"Like what?" she asks, cuddling into him.

"You don't have to call before coming over, you should park in the garage and use the key to my house. You can assume that I'm happy you gave me a key and I will use it. You should assume I want you to bring your stuff here and actually leave it instead of always taking it away with you."

"I have a toothbrush here," she states.

"Yeah," he chuckles. "Now, leave some other stuff here. Like clothes, shoes and hair conditioner. It's silly for you to always lug it around."

"You just want me to leave my conditioner so you can smell it while I'm at work," she teases.

Derek laughs and leans in to kiss her. After a few moments he hears her stomach growl. He pulls away and teases, "I'll also assume it's time for me to feed you."

"That would be nice, thank you."

They share dinner and pleasant conversation. Meredith ends up staying the night but has to leave early the next morning.