Chapter 15: What is Going On?

"Hi Meredith."

"Hi Lexie," she answers as she closes her patient's chart. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. Are you ready to take care of Laura and Ethan this weekend?"

"Yes. I'm a little nervous, though."

"Me too," Lexie laughs. "Great Aunts we are, huh? We're pathetic. Two grown women afraid of a four and a one year old."

"Don't tell Molly" Meredith laughs.

"No way. If she knew we were nervous, they'd never go away for the weekend. And God knows they need it."

"Yeah, they do," Meredith agrees. "I'm sure pizza, movies and play-time at the park are good ideas, but that's only going to get us so far."

"That's good stuff Mer. It's more than I thought of to entertain them."

"I'll ask Derek for some ideas. If he doesn't know maybe, we can talk to Kathleen."

"Good idea, Mer. Just remember - do not let on to Molly that we're nervous."

"I won't." she sighs.

Lexie looks closely at her sister. Then asks, "Is something else bothering you?"

Meredith chews her bottom lip and replies softly, "I still haven't heard about my Fellowship. From here, I mean. I've been accepted in Los Angeles and Chicago."

"Oh," Lexie sighs. "There's still time though, right? You could still be accepted here, right?"

"Yes, but it's getting late in the game. I don't want to miss out on a position in L.A. or Chicago because I'm waiting for an answer from Seattle Grace. Especially, if the answer is no here."

"Meredith," Lexie whines a little, "They have to accept you here."

"No Lex," Meredith shakes her head, 'They don't have to accept me."

"I know that, but they will. Right? I mean, the Chief wanted you and Derek to work together. That implies that he was going to vote for you to have your Fellowship here."

Meredith is quiet for an uncomfortable moment. Then she takes a deep breath and says, "I'm worried about this, but I need to let it go for now. I have surgery in an hour and we're taking care of the kids this weekend."

"Okay," Lexie sighs, "but Mer?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you discussed this with Derek?"

"No. The possibility that I may have to leave him in a few months depresses me."

"What?" Lexie asks with surprise in her voice. "You don't think he'd go with you?"

"I couldn't ask Derek to go with me Lexie. His life - and the structure he needs in his life - is here in Seattle."

"He's in love with you Meredith. You are a huge part of his life and that structure now. Do you really believe he'd just let you walk away?"

Meredith feels her heart start beating faster and her breath grow a little shallow. The idea of losing Derek now - after having just found him - scares the hell out of her. "I can't have this conversation, Lex. Let's just wait and see if I get accepted here. Okay?"

"Okay," Lexie sighs.

"Do you want to scrub-in with me?"

"Let me clear it with Dr. Yang."

"If she says no, tell me so I can get someone else."

"All right," Lexie says with a frown and walks away. She really doesn't want her sister to move away. Why hasn't she gotten an acceptance letter from Seattle Grace yet?


Meredith and Lexie had lots of luck - and fun - watching Laura and Ethan Friday night and all of Saturday. They'd had pizza - and lots of other fun kid foods - read lots of books, colored, gone to the park. They'd played hide-and-seek with Laura and built block towers for Ethan to knock down. They'd even allowed the kids to have so many bubbles in their bath that it spilled all over the bathroom and everyone erupted into giggles. Yes, Friday night and all of Saturday had been fabulous. They should've known it wouldn't last.

Sunday morning was sheer hell.

Laura and Ethan had woken up cranky and whiny. They didn't want waffles for breakfast. They didn't want to color or go to the park again. In fact, they didn't agree to anything Aunt Meredith and Aunt Lexie suggested. At 10 a.m. Meredith called Derek in desperation - nearly in tears. He suggested having Kathleen bring Kayla to play with Laura. If she was happy it might be easier to calm Ethan. Meredith agreed but made Derek promise to come over, too.

An hour later the two little girls were playing happily. Lexie, Kathleen, Derek and Meredith were having coffee and talking. Ethan was sitting in Meredith's lap - sucking his thumb and snuggling into her.

"Is Ethan always so calm and snuggly?" Kathleen asks.

"No," Meredith and Lexie answer in unison and they all laugh.

"He's usually running all over the place," Meredith answers.

"And into everything," Lexie adds.

Ethan starts squirming and fussing. Meredith gets up and starts rocking him on her hip, but this makes him cry. "Hey Ethan," she whispers, "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Mama," Ethan wails. "Da!"

"Do you think he misses mommy and daddy?" Meredith asks.

"Mama! Da!" Ethan cries again.

"I'd say that's a yes!" Derek replies and Ethan stops crying. Ethan looks at Derek and reaches his little arms out toward him.

"Derek," Meredith says quietly, "Ethan's reaching for you."

"Really?' Derek grins and opens his arms. "Let me have him. Maybe he'll calm down for me."

Meredith puts Ethan in Derek's lap. Ethan cuddles right into Derek and starts sucking his thumb again. Meredith sits back down and watches as Derek gently rubs her nephew's back. She is oblivious to anything else happening around her as she watches Derek completely comfort Ethan. The little boy has a little smile on his face as he starts to fall asleep and his thumb falls out of his mouth. Meredith's heart does wild flip flops in her chest as she feels herself loving Derek even more. For the first time ever, she wonders what it might be like to have a child of her own - with Derek. She feels tears in the corners of her eyes and excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Lexie and Kathleen share a smile - knowing exactly what Meredith is running from as they too look at Derek comforting the little boy.


The image was burned into her memory. Man comforting child. Derek comforting her nephew. Every time Meredith thought of it - which was a lot - her heart hitched in her chest and went wild again. It wasn't a big stretch for her to imagine Derek holding their child - a little girl with curly blonde hair and turquoise eyes. Then she'd get angry because she was mentally torturing herself. She shouldn't be thinking about having children with Derek when she didn't even know if she'd be staying in Seattle. Meredith sighs and rubs her tired eyes. She really needs to make a decision about her Fellowship. How could she though, when she still hadn't heard from Seattle Grace?

Meredith smiles as she slides her key into the lock of Derek's house. She hasn't seen him all week because she had to work a ton of hours to make up for being off all of last weekend. She feels better just being here - knowing they're going to spend the night together. Maybe it's time to talk to Derek about some of what's been on her mind.

"Derek?"

Meredith gets no response and moves toward the back of the house, calling out again, "Derek?"

She still gets no answer but hears music and smiles - knowing where he is now. Derek has a small home gym that has a treadmill, stair master, stationary bike and lots of free weights. He insists on working out regularly and staying fit. Meredith stops in the doorway to the gym to appreciate the sight before her. He's wearing shorts, a t-shirt and sneakers with sweat all over him and doing arm curls with the weights. Meredith watches for a couple of minutes - appreciating how his muscles flex and the beautiful masculine condition of his body.

Derek puts the weights away, walks over to turn off the music and grins, "Mer, if you're going to stand there watching me workout the least you could do is towel me down."

She giggles, not even surprised that he knew she was there, and replies, "I am so not your towel girl."

"Do you want to join me in the shower then?"

"Later," she replies, trying to keep her voice light.

"Something's on your mind," Derek states.

"I can't keep anything from you," she sighs.

"Do you want to keep things from me, Meredith?"

He's standing in front of her now - dripping sweat but looking serious. "No," she answers honestly, quietly.

"Should I be worried?"

"I hope not."

"That's a vague answer," he states, looking slightly annoyed.

She leans in to give him a quick kiss and says, "Go take a shower. Then I'll tell you what's on my mind."

"Okay," Derek answers, walking around her and heading to his bathroom.


Twenty minutes later Derek walks into his room with wet hair and wearing his bathrobe. He hears Meredith breathing heavily, evenly, and knows she's asleep. He sighs, wanting to talk to her but not wanting to wake her up after the week she just had. He gets dressed and grabs his phone when it starts announcing a call from Bailey. He goes outside to talk to her.

"Hi Miranda."

"Hi Derek, how are you?"

"Okay," he answers. "How are you?"

"I am fine," she replies, "But I don't believe that you are."

Derek can't help but grin as he replies, "Mer says I pick up on everything."

"Who does she think you learned it from?"

Derek laughs, "What's up?"

"I just called to see if you and Grey want to come over for dinner tomorrow night."

Derek is surprised and asks, "Have you and Meredith ever done anything socially?"

"No," Miranda sighs, "But there's no reason why that can't change."

"Let me talk to Meredith when she wakes up and I'll let you know," he answers carefully.

"Is there a reason she wouldn't want to come here?" Miranda asks, sounding slightly offended.

"Not that I know of," Derek sighs, "But something is bothering her. So, let me talk to her and then I'll let you know if we're both coming over or if I'm coming on my own."

"Oh," Miranda laughs, "You think she's going to end things with you."

Derek winces as she hit's a nerve and replies, "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to but I'm sure she's not thinking of ending things with you."

"You sound rather certain of yourself," Derek says. "Do you know something?"

"Talk to Meredith. Then let me know about tomorrow night."

"Miranda."

"It's not my place, Derek."

"I'm not asking you to betray her confidence. I'm just asking you for some kind of advanced warning because now I am kind of freaked out."

Bailey is silent for several moments and Derek thinks she isn't going to tell him anything. "Okay fine," he sighs.

"I overheard Meredith talking to her sister."

"And?" he asks as his heart beats faster, suddenly nervous that something is wrong with his Mer.

"Meredith has to be the one to tell you, "Bailey insists, "But she doesn't want to leave you, Derek."

"Leave me?"

"I have to go. The kids are fighting. Talk to Meredith and call me about tomorrow night," Bailey says and hangs up.

Leave me? Derek thinks again as he turns off his phone. He's worried and wants to wake Meredith up to find out what the hell is going on but can't bring himself to do it. She needs her sleep. He decides that if she isn't awake in a couple of hours, he'll wake her up and demand some answers.


What are you guys thinking so far? How do you feel about Meredith and Derek's relationship? How do you feel about the fellowship situation? To answer a question...Yes, the backstory will be revealed about how Derek became blind in future chapters. However, I can't say much without giving the plot away. Please be patient, I will not let you down. I love you all!

- Cheyenne