Third Night (3)
"Allow me a moment to ensure I have understood you properly, Milady. You snuck out of the castle without telling us-"
"I said I was sorry!"
"-then spent an entire day wandering the city without supervision, only to lay in wait for your estranged step sibling to make sure that he fears you, courtesy of an ominous warning. Except he surprised you by knowing full well who you were and professed a desire to ensure that you live beyond the scope of the Grail War."
Sella cast a suspicious glance at said sibling, currently seated in a lotus position with his eyes closed and breathing steady, Sakura and Jack standing nearby while Caren calmly sat on a sofa and watched the proceedings with an amused smile on her face.
...As for Illya? Well she got the distinct pleasure of sulking in an oversized armchair while her more vocal caretaker lectured her like she was some naughty child.
It wasn't fair!
"You then decided to go to a strage Magus' home and spend the night, deceiving and making us worry while you are made aware of several methods that can be used to prolong your existence after the war. Then you assassinate the moderator of the Grail War-"
"That wasn't me, that was Onii-chan! And the new moderator is right there with a stupid grin on her face, it's fine!"
"-and realize that a Dead Apostle Ancestor is actually a Master and fighting in the war. An Ancestor that subsequently took control of the other three Servants and Masters before engaging you in battle, subsequently leading us to the current state of affairs. Have I missed anything?!"
Sullenly staring at an irate Sella Illya opened her mouth to reply-
"You neglected to mention the part where she attempted to sleep with Shirou-kun, only to be set aside like a small child."
-and instead pointed a finger at an angelic looking Caren, hissing, "You shut up, you're my guest here and you should show some manners!"
Nodding in agreement the Exorcist clasped her hands, praying, "Lord, this humble and errant lamb gives thanks for the shelter of a heathen's roof and begs your forgiveness, necessity has forced this devout woman of your flock to endure the tantrums and wiles of a midget sinner-"
"Caren? Stop."
Shirou's two words caused the white-haired girl to beatifically smile before placing her hands in her lap, Illya's eye madly twitching in poorly restrained fury.
Awkwardly clearing her throat Sella attempted to regain control of the situation by stating, "We'll discuss this later, Milady...but for now what are your orders?"
Heaving a monumental sigh and rubbing her head in a failed attempt at staving off the headache that now pounded throughout her skull Illya turned to her three...companions? Allies? Friends?
Now that she stopped to think about what was a good blanket description for the trio of weirdos she had ended up with? Quartet if she counted Jack the Ripper as well.
"Does the Church have any ideas or plans on how to deal with this Apostle?"
Sakura turned her attention to Caren, who gave a professional response devoid of joviality as she explained, "There were plans to deliver unto us a Conceptual Weapon that could kill or at least severely hinder an Apostle Ancestor. Unfortunately I do not know which one and given our need to abandon the church's location it will take some time for it to reach us. Two days, at the swiftest."
Wincing Illya mused, "Two days might be too long. In less than one the Ancestor took over half of the Masters and Servants and then assaulted us directly. Onii-chan managed to kill Archer but we're still facing Rider, Saber and Lancer. We don't know where they're based or what his goals for the Grail are and they don't care about attacking us in broad daylight. All we do know for certain is that he wants my eyes."
Pinching the bridge of her nose the Homunculus continued with a disgruntled, "And it might not be a good idea to wait here and hope they attack us directly. Saber's Noble Phantasm would destroy the castle easily and if what you were told by Lancer is true, Matou...then the Apostle Ancestor can bypass many of our protections and affect us directly if he shows up. And the three other Masters might make an appearance as well, if he decides to go all out. Grrr...this isn't fair!"
Speaking up for the first time Shirou remarked, "It's slightly worse than that, Illya. I got a good look at the Lancer's weapon and his identity is Cú Chulainn. That means he almost certainly has an ability to force one of us or our Servants into single combat."
Caren nodded sagely, explaining, "His defense of Ulster for months of single combat. True, it seems unlikely he would not have means of enacting that particular legend."
The albino let her head smack against the headboard of the chair, groan escaping her lips.
"...Maybe I should just let Berserker go wild against them and hope for the best. He's the strongest Servant, after all."
Even to herself that statement lacked any real conviction. As powerful as Herakles was the enemy simply possessed too many unknown powers for him to safely beat them into dust with no worries whatsoever.
"...Perhaps we should take this night to rest. We are all tired to varying extents and Shirou-sama needs some more time to recover. Jack can watch the borders of the castle and ensure that we have ample warning if anyone tries to sneak past."
Sakura's suggestion coincided with the tiny Servant offering a brilliant grin, cheerily announcing, "You can count on us~!"
Shirou nodded along with the suggestion while Caren, now that Illya looked closely, had the slightest trace of bags under her eyes.
She probably didn't look all that great herself, if she stopped to think about it. The race from the remains of their home after being involved in the battle against Rider, Archer and Saber probably left her in a significant state of disarray and general unkemptness.
"We'll do that, then. Rest for now and come up with a solid plan tomorrow. Sella, can you draw up the bath for us? I think we could all use one. Have Leysritt give everyone directions to it and their rooms and then meet me at the Workshop, I want to go over what resources we have available for use."
"Understood, Milady."
Regretfully rising to her feet Illya turned to Shirou-
-and he must have sensed her question before it even left, eyes still closed but head dipping slightly as he replied, "I'll be fine, Illya. Make sure you get some rest of your own."
Touched and annoyed in equal measure at his response the Homunculus retorted, "I could say the same about you, Onii-chan."
Shaking her head in exasperation she quickly followed after Sella, wishing that she could do nothing more than simply curl up next to Shirou and sleep out the rest of the war.
…
And while she was wishing she wished she were taller and had bigger boobs. Could she maybe make the jump to one of those other bodies during the war instead of after?
"Is the bath free, Sella?"
"Yes, Milday. Leysritt showed our...guests to it and their rooms sometime ago, it will be free for your use."
"Good. Now if you'll excuse me I wish to bathe. Return to your duties, Sella."
"As you wish, Milady...and do be wary around those three. Just because they are allied with us now does not mean that will be the case forever."
With Sakura and Caren? Maybe. But with her brother?
Illya highly doubted any force on the planet could make him do otherwise.
Instead of trying to convince the handmaiden of something she was simply conditioned to believe as a part of her duties Illya shrugged, tiredly replying, "I'll do that."
Bowing her head the other Homunculus departed, leaving Illya to discard her clothing into one of the almost full laundry baskets and yawn sleepily as she opened the door to the main washroom, enjoying the way the warm steam wafted over her skin as she lifted a foot to step into the enticingly hot water-
-wait. Almost full laundry basket?
"Oh my, I was not aware the Einzberns had so fully embraced the Japanese concept of mixed bathing. A bit of cultural exchange from the Axis era? How interesting."
Illya's eyes snapped wide, no longer half-lidded and drowsy as she scanned the washroom, mind racing to comprehend the predicament she had suddenly found herself in.
Sakura, Caren and Shirou were all seated-completely naked-in her bath, innocent expressions locked onto her own scandalized one. Except for Shirou-thank the Root for that-as his back was turned and he still seemed locked into the meditation he had been performing for the last few hours.
"What...how...why are you all in here now?! It's been two hours!"
Cocking her head in confusion the Matou explained, "We only entered ten minutes ago. Your maid seemed very confused on where things are in this house."
Illya's palm met her face.
Of course Leysritt would take them on the roundabout tour and not think twice about letting them into the bath at the same time. And of course they wouldn't care, they were all weird and mentally deranged!
"If this is a problem we can leave now, Illya."
Crimson orbs locked onto Hazel ones...and the albino belatedly realized Shirou was staring directly at her. While she was nude.
A high-pitched yelp left her as she turned on her heel and made to flee the room-
-and failed to account for the slippery tile, legs shooting out from under her as the Homunculus flailed in a vain attempt to regain balance.
And then a pair of strong, muscled arms smoothly caught her out of the air, Illya blinking as she realized Shirou had seamlessly moved from his meditative pose to a standing one, staring at her with a...charged intensity.
…
Her brain threw up its hands and left her skull entirely, the situation too much for the overwhelmed Homunculus to process, mouth hanging agape like a clubbed fish.
"Oh my, I think you broke her, Shirou-kun."
Illya sat with her knees tucked up to her chest, hands grasping her hair and eyes squeezed shut in embarrassment.
"One would think that, despite your claims to the contrary, you are still very much an innocent young girl, fainting just because you saw a few exposed bodies."
Glaring daggers at the white-haired hussy Illya snapped, "I'm older than all of you!"
"Ah, my sincerest apologies. It's just that you do not act or look the part."
Growling like an irate kitten Illya cut off her threat display as Sakura abruptly stood, walking towards her at a sedate pace as the Homunculus stared at the other girl's approach.
...She really wished she had a figure like that. A womanly body with clear signs of definition-no doubt from that Executor training-and a smooth gait with exotic hair.
"Would you like me to wash your hair, Illya-sama?"
Blinking at both the request and new way of addressing her the albino clumsily replied, "Er, why?"
"Because I often do so for Caren-sama. Pale hair looks best when it is clean, not dirty."
Completely at a loss of what to say as she was stared at by the shamelessly nude young woman before her Illya could only shyly reply, "I-if you insist, of course!"
She wasn't sure why she was so nervous! Sella-and sometimes Leysritt-would help her bathe and she wasn't exactly a stranger to naked women...so what was so different about this?!
She didn't know have time to ponder such thoughts as Sakura retrieved a nearby bottle of wash, lathered her hands-
-and the albino practically melted into the other girl's ministrations, fingers pleasurably running across her scalp and gently working out what few knots there were in the snowy tresses with a deft hand.
...That...wasn't so bad.
"Sakura-chan is indeed good with her fingers is she not? Shirou-kun can attest to that in particular."
And of course Caren then had to make a joke about it.
Turning up her nose at the comment-despite the blush on her face that had nothing to do with the temperature of the water-Illya retorted, "Hmph. For a woman of the Church you seem rather loose. Are you sure you're an Exorcist and simply not excommunicated?"
Instead of seeming put off by the comment Caren merely smirked, lightly pulling herself along the bottom of the large bath towards the Homunculus, Illya holding her ground despite the alarm bells now ringing in her head.
"Oh? If I am excommunicated then that means certain acts are...allowed~."
Suddenly switching targets the other woman latched onto Shirou's arm, dragging it between her modest bust and causing Illya to almost burst a blood vessel.
"W-what are you doing?!"
Innocently staring at the Homunculus Hortensia replied, "Obviously I am indulging in acts of affection, what else? Since I am no longer a woman of the faith."
Her ire getting the better of her Illya stood up, marched next to her sibling and wrapped his arm between her own far more lithe chest, cursing the lack of swelling that made the action less enticing than it normally would have been.
She barely noticed how Sakura easily matched her pace, as if used to such occurrences.
"Hmph! If you couldn't understand a simple bit of wordplay and teasing then you really are showing how young and immature you are!"
A wicked grin crossed the other woman's face as her hand abruptly dipped beneath the water to a certain...part of her sibling's anatomy that caused him to, ahem...stiffen.
"Immature, am I?"
Picking up on the challenge loud and clear Illya shoved aside her shyness, her worry and inhibitions, matched the woman's gesture as she shoved her hand below the water's surface-
-and almost fainted right then and there as she felt the soft skin of Caren brush against her own...and something hard and hot flex beneath her palm, a sensation she had no idea how to describe-
THWACK!
Both her and Caren yelped as Sakura's hand found the back of their skulls, the young woman staring at them with something resembling reproach.
"You are making Shirou-sama uncomfortable."
Glancing up at the young man Illya belatedly realized he had his eyes pointedly fixed on the ceiling, jaw clenched and calm meditation clearly disrupted.
…
There was also the fact that, if she remembered correctly, males weren't naturally hard like that unless they were, erm...excited.
Blushing furiously and quickly retracting her hand the Homunculus buried her face into Shirou's arm, apologetically mumbling, "Sorry, Onii-chan..."
"It's fine, Illya. It was just...unexpected."
…
She couldn't really bring herself to ask which of them made him more aroused, her or Caren. Or Sakura. Or all of them. That question lead to a collection of responses she wasn't sure she was prepared to handle.
Instead she settled for glaring at the Exorcist-
-and blinked in shock as she finally stopped to look at the other girl, realizing a rather alarming fact.
"I...I thought Onii-chan healed you?"
She was, from the neck down, absolutely covered in scars of every size and shape imaginable. Puncture wounds, burns, lacerations...a veritable roadmap of pain and suffering as Illya stared wide-eyed.
"Oh, these? Yes, Shirou-kun was kind enough to erase all traces of my most recent maladies but these have been gained over many years of serving as a faithful member of the Lord's house."
Unable to tear her gaze away from the bevy of injuries it was Sakura who supplied the answer with a quiet, "Masochistic Pneumatic Automatism Diathesis. Caren-sama's body naturally displays the end result a Daemonic possession will have on its host, meaning she is useful in finding those seized by such beings."
Wincing at the realization of what that meant-as well as the clear signs such a life brought-Illya carefully asked, "Don't you have a healer or something along those lines to ensure you don't have to live with...those?"
The woman simply shrugged.
"Mere physical maladies are a sign of my faith and service in the Lord."
Illya noticed, for just the briefest of moments, a slight softening in her expression before it was back to its usual passivity.
"And those that walk by my side have never cared overmuch about my appearance."
Conversation ceased afterwards into a sort of comfortable awkwardness, Illya's mind racing as she allowed her eyes to drift closed, Sakura still calmly washing her hair.
She...could actually sort of respect that Caren bitch now. And that really bothered her.
Heaving a quiet sigh she could only wonder if she was ever going to meet anyone normal in her life.
Probably not.
So I know official artwork and stuff has Caren pretty much spotless aside from magical anime bandages (the #1 most powerful and blanket cure in the world) but you would think the kind of life she leads, heavenly healthcare plan or not, would leave a mark or two somewhere.
Besides, girl's with scars are awesome (Tsukuyo, Nice Holystone, Balalaika...need I say more?)
