Chapter 11

Anxiety

The Journey to the Psychiatrist in North Platte was a very unpleasant one for both of them. As soon as Leonard had told Penny about the line of clothes and the chairs, Penny immediately flew into panic mode, and at once wondered whether her mental state was deteriorating and again questioned her own value to Leonard and possibly, also her child if she was as her intuition informed her, pregnant.

Leonard too was feeling miserable as he had badly upset his Penny, a thing that Leonard hated doing, therefore the journey was carried out in a very heavy silence.

The Psychiatrist reminded Penny very much of Amy, I.E. the long hair, the glasses, and the keen analytical mind. "Now then. let's see, Dr and Mrs Hofstadter. Is that a medical Doctor or political or something else?", she asked Leonard. "PHD", Leonard replied.

As Leonard began to fill in Dr Goldman of the history of their recent ordeals, Penny as she was listening to Leonard felt very uncomfortable in being reminded and requested if she could go to the powder room. Once Penny had left Leonard continued with their case histories and Dr Goldman frowned as she heard about Leonard's recollection of past events.

"How was your childhood?, she asked Leonard. Leonard at once felt on edge as he strongly felt Penny needed help and could not understand why Dr Goldman was wasting valuable time on him.

But Leonard felt it prudent to cooperate and told her about his cold upbringing by his Mother, "And I could never show my feelings in front of her, really, if I was down she'd tell me to buck up, and if I was happy she would tell me to act like an adult, really I just could not seem to do anything right as far as she was concerned". And at that Point Penny returned and Dr Goldman asked if she could speak to Penny alone, so Leonard, now feeling pleased that at last he was getting somewhere and Penny would be getting the help she needs, left for the rest room.

"tell me Penny, who recovered first?". "well Leonard awoke from his coma, I can't remember how many weeks it was but it was some time before I, I", Penny began but found herself at a loss for words.

"so when was Leonard informed of your condition?", Dr Goldman asked her.

"It was a little while after he came out of his coma", Penny replied, now puzzled as to why this Doctor was asking about Leonard, and not about herself?.

"Do you have any knowledge of how he reacted to the news of your condition?".

"My friend Bernadette told me that they had to hold him down to stop him from leaving there and going to see me. Oh yes I remember, and they also had to heavily sedate him to calm him down at all", Penny replied now at a loss as to why she was asking all these questions on Leonard.

"So then, tell me how does Leonard regard you?", Dr Goldman asked Penny, her demeanour had become almost excited as if she had grasped some insight as to this strange behaviour.

"He has always treated me with the utmost respect and extraordinary kindness. Why, even when we were broke up, Leonard would always help me and check that I was keeping well. here", she said retrieving the snowflake from her purse, "Leonard brought me this all the way from the North Pole".

Dr Goldman inspected the snowflake, "Wow that is so romantic", she said, handing back the snowflake.

"Isn't it though. Leonard would do absolutely anything for me, I guess it's no wonder I married him", Penny told her, smiling from ear to ear.

"Right, now then Penny I am certain that these strange actions are not yours, but Leonard's. If I am right he will succumb to anger when I confront him with my evidence, please whatever you do don't be angry with him over his actions, he has been suffering for quite a long time and his upbringing, added to the break up between you , and his recent reaction over you has affected him badly. Really, I have read several of his mother's books and my God is that woman a cold fish, or what!", Dr Goldman told her seriously.

"Yep it's not the first time my Mother in law has been described as a walking icicle", Penny told her.

Dr Goldman sent for Leonard and after he was sat on the couch alongside Penny. Dr Goldman Began.

"OK Leonard, could you describe the line of clothes for me?",

Leonard could not understand where on earth the clothes had to do with anything, really this Doctor is just wasting time, Penny needs help now. And with growing tension in his voice, Leonard reeled off the order they were placed from the bedroom door onwards. "Boxers, socks, trousers, shirt, a hoodie, then my shoes, and my cell and my wallet were placed in front of them".

"I see, and the chairs they were placed where?", Dr Goldman asked.

Leonard's anger began to rise, "I told you that earlier, the chairs were against the external doors", then standing up Leonard's rage burst forth, Why are you asking silly questions and wasting time?, Penny needs help, please".

Penny stood and wrapped Leonard in her arms, to try to calm him down.

"you see Leonard, as a Physicist you place great importance on logic. So I want you to please consider the logic of the clothes, they were placed in a manner to expedite the donning of them in the order one dresses as though one was dressing in a hurry. The chairs too were placed to prevent egress, to keep someone in the cabin, not as a prisoner, but to protect them and keep them safe", Dr Goldman calmly explained, despite Leonard's outburst.

And finally as he thought her theory through, Leonard broke down into great racking sobs, "I couldn't bear to lose her again, she's my whole world to me, and at that Penny too began crying with him, why couldn't she see that Leonard was suffering so much?, she cursed herself for breaking up with Leonard, and adding to his distress, for crying out loud, she knew even then that Leonard was a great guy?, what a stupid fool she was".

Once the newlyweds had recovered Dr Goldman told Penny that it was only once Penny had left that Dr Goldman noticed the extreme anxiety that Leonard was enduring, I.E. the constant wringing of his hands, his frequent glances towards the door, that alerted Dr Goldman to his condition at all, and as long as he was with Penny he didn't display the symptoms, also Penny could do nothing whatsoever to change the past, both of them needed to recover and look to the future together and the unbreakable bond of love that exists between them would be sure to see them through these difficult times, truly I must say I have never believed in the saying they were made for each other but for me you two have proved to me that it is absolutely true.

Leonard was prescribed something to help with his anxiety and he apologized to Dr Goldman for his anger.

Dr Goldman told him his apology was not needed as the anger was all part of his anxiety, then feeling so much calmer, He left hand in hand with Penny.

After leaving the Psychiatrist, they decided to visit a diner in order to help them to take stock of this new situation with Leonard. They both decided They'd have Pancakes and bacon where Penny had hers literally swimming in maple syrup, and while Leonard had coffee, Penny though opted for orange juice.

As she was eating Penny was suddenly struck with an amazing thought that pleased her immensely, and a little giggle from her, motivated Leonard to ask her what was up.

"Well Honey do you remember the words I wrote in that card I had Wolowitz give to you?", "yep, they are indelibly etched in my memory", Leonard replied.

"Well it seems that BOTH of us would go crazy without the other, and I just thought it was so wonderful, we are both in this for a very long time, and it makes me feel so very secure. And perhaps now I can stop worrying that you'll wake up and leave me for someone else", Penny observed, breaking out into a huge smile at the thought of it.

"Leonard thought it through for a little while before telling Penny, "The way we both feel about each other, I think that it's quite probably going to be us forever". He told her. And at that Penny just wanted to jump in his lap and bestow the longest kiss ever on the husband she adored and so wished that everyone else would just disappear so she could do just that.