Chapter 18

(with grateful thanks to SRAM for the idea for this chapter)

Bernadette's Lecture

A little over a week after Leonard had bought Penny the MPV, they had invited Howard and Bernadette with their son Samuel round for dinner, and the four couples chatted and watched the Hofstadter girls and Samuel Wolowitz playing together, when Leonard stood up and went to make coffee for them all, when to Leonard's surprise Bernadette said she would give Leonard a hand. What surprised Leonard was the fact that Bernadette had been rather distant towards Leonard all evening.

And as soon as they entered the kitchen, Bernadette revealed the reason for her coldness towards Leonard.

"I want a word with you Mr Hofstadter", she began, the tone of her voice telling Leonard that Bernadette meant some serious business.

Leonard feeling stunned at the sudden iron in her voice, Absently corrected her, "Doctor Hofstadter".

"Yeah well as I don't see any brains in you at all at the moment it's Mister", she informed him, then continued, "are you really aware how upset Penny is over you fighting with her the other week?, are you?", she demanded glaring at him.

"But I thought she was OK?, she didn't mention it to me?", Leonard puzzled.

"Of course she wouldn't, she loves you, but you hurt her bad. For God's sake Leonard, I don't need to tell you how crazy she is over you?. I don't need to tell you that she loves your Daughters more than her life?. Look at this place?, does it look like her apartment used to?. My God Leonard if I saw Penny's apartment and then this place, I could have sworn they were inhabited by two different people.

She is so proud of her family, so proud she works damn hard holding a career, keeping this house spotless, taking care of you and your girls in the most dedicated loving way possible. And she does it all for you, so you can be so proud of her, so you Leonard can have no doubts whatsoever in loving, valuing and cherishing that stunningly beautiful, talented and capable wife that you have been so incredibly lucky to find, Leonard that woman CRAVES your love. I tell you truly Leonard, If there was a worldwide lottery, then you are the sole winner of the jackpot", Bernadette informed him her jaw jutting aggressively in her righteous indignation of Leonard's treatment of Penny.

"But I thought things were smoothed over last week", Leonard said.

Bernadette's scorn was something to behold. "Smoothed over?, you think it's enough that you can just wave your credit card and everything will be OK?", then at the sight of Leonard's distress as her words hit their mark, Bernadette softened her tone, "I love both you guys, you have become my dearest friends, and you shouldn't need me to fix things between you?. I beg you now Leonard think very carefully, what you, not your credit card!, can do to show your love and appreciation for her".

And at their return Penny noticed straight away the anxious tension shown by her Husband.

Later after Leonard and Penny had retired for the night, Penny asked him outright, "What did Bernadette say to you?".

Leonard knew in his heart it would be no good hiding things from Penny and he revealed all.

"I'm sorry Honey, I begged her not to say anything. It's OK, really,", and Penny kissed him to emphasize her point.

But Leonard knew all too well, It wasn't OK, Bernadette was absolutely right, for she had given him the huge kick up his butt that he really needed, and wasn't it he himself that was the one subconsciously leaving his clothes in a line and all over his own great fear of losing Penny. And why was that?, it was because Leonard knew damn well that if he searched all over the world he could never find another like her, nope not in a million years.

Leonard realized he had let himself get too distracted by his work so he was guilty of not paying attention to his wife that she deserved and that so much more than normal, he had let his tiredness influence his mood towards her, and Leonard realized that neither of those reasons were absolutely any excuse whatsoever.

And for the next few days not only did Leonard become more loving and appreciative of his wife, but he thought long and hard over what He, Leonard, could do for his lovely wife.

Four weeks later

Bernadette had finally managed to get her fretful Son to sleep and had just settled down with Howard to watch their favourite comedy together when the doorbell rang. "It's OK Honey I'll get it", Howard told her getting up.

Opening the door he found Amy standing there and looking quite flustered. "I'm so sorry to be calling at this time of night, can I speak to Bernadette please?", Amy asked him in earnest.

"Yeah, sure, please come in", Howard told her.

"Are you OK Amy", Bernadette asked as they sat in the dining room.

"I'm sorry but I just didn't know what I should do?, You see yesterday I saw Leonard going into a massage parlour, and I just don't understand it", Amy disclosed nervously.

"I Know", Bernadette admitted.

"You know?, what should we do?, I mean do we tell Penny or talk to Leonard first. I really thought he loved Penny?", Amy told her.

"Yes he does, and all the more so. That's why he's going there. You see Leonard and Howard are having lessons on giving massage so Leonard can please Penny more. A grad student teaches them the art of massage and Leonard and Howard helps the grad student with his course in order to obtain his doctorate. His relatives run the parlour and it is a very respectable and legitimate business too, and as Howard and Leonard learn together it will not lead them into any possible temptation", Bernadette revealed, then added, "It was my idea when Leonard told me about his plan, to have Howard learn the art together with him.

Amy gave a sigh of relief, "Wow, I'm so glad to hear that, But now I feel so terrible, I suspected a very dear friend of doing something awful behind his wife's back. I should have thought better of Leonard", Amy admitted.

"Don't beat yourself up Amy, It surprised and unsettled you, and none of us are perfect, But don't tell Penny, as it's Leonard's big surprise for her", Bernadette asked her.

And as she thought of Penny receiving her 'surprise' from Leonard and then Bernadette receiving the same from Howard, Amy's eyes widened., "I wonder if I could get Sheldon to take some lessons on giving massage", She said unable to keep the lascivious look off of her face at the thought.

"Amy!, Please!. Too much information", Bernadette said guessing Amy's line of thought.

Then Amy stayed for 10 minutes longer and then she left.

Leonard arranged for Beverley to have the girls for the night on Saturday, ( much to Beverley's delight), and as Penny returned home after obtaining some wallpaper samples, Leonard was home ready and waiting for her.

"Leonard!, why are the girls not in their pajamas yet?", Penny puzzled as she entered.

"It's OK Honey, my Mother is having them for the night at her place, so we can have some special time together", Leonard told her, his face betraying his excitement, then added You see I have already packed everything in this bag, so all we have to do is drop the girls off on the way".

"Well OK Honey, but nothing too strenuous tonight, I am rather tired", Penny begged.

"Your wish is my command my lady", Leonard agreed.

Penny headed upstairs for a shower and to get changed, but all the while wishing she could just stay home and snuggle up with Leonard in front of the T.V.

They dropped the girls off, and this took some time as Penny issued a long list of instructions to Beverley and then Penny seemed to have difficulty in saying goodbye to her girls for her hugs and kisses for them were indeed quite numerous.

At last they were on their way, and Penny asked Leonard where they were going, and she was not amused when Leonard flashed her that huge annoying grin he wore whenever he kept a secret from her which always made the wheels in Penny's mind whirl.

They pulled up in a car lot and began walking to their destination, when Penny spotted the sign on the building they were heading for.

"A massage parlour?, You're taking me here", She asked him already feeling uneasy.

"Yep, a full body massage will help you relax", Leonard informed her.

"Leonard!, while I appreciate your concern for me, I really don't want a male masseuse, Please", she begged him.

"Hey it'll be OK trust me", He told her.

"OK", Penny answered though still feeling uncomfortable with the whole business.

They entered the reception area which was neat and very business like, when the Woman behind the counter greeted them both.

"My name is Hofstadter, I booked a full body massage for my wife", Leonard informed the receptionist.

"Ah yes Sir we are all ready for you", and she guided Penny to a cubicle, where Penny could undress and don a robe before she was led to the massage room and then she was directed to lay on her front and wait for the masseuse.

After a couple of minutes she heard someone enter the room and felt them put some oil on her feet before they began giving her a most delightful foot massage, but despite this Penny, still feeling unsure was still too tense to enjoy it fully.

The masseuse began working up her legs first the calves and then the backs of her thighs and as they reached near the top of her thighs Penny chanced to look back at who it was but could only see the bare hairy leg of a man. At this the alarm bells rang and clasping her arms to her bosom she turned to tell whoever it was to please stop as I want to leave.

Then Penny gasped with shock for not only was her masseuse also naked, but it was her own dear husband to boot. "Leonard!, what's going on!, why are you in here?" she asked him stunned to her core at this extraordinary event taking place.

Then Leonard explained about getting lessons form the undergrad on giving massage, Penny smiled at him as she warned him, "OK Mister but if you don't do a good job, you don't get a good tip.", and from that moment on Penny immediately relaxed and settled back down for the rest of her massage and admired the view whenever her Leonard was in her field of vision.

Although both would have liked to have taken things further, this was really not the appropriate place and so totally satisfied with being turned to jello by the expert ministrations of her husbands hands, Penny left the parlour hand in hand with Leonard.

Once back in the car, Leonard drove for the beach only stopping to pick up take out on the way. And as they ate in the car. Leonard apologized again to Penny for causing her pain. "You, Penny are extraordinary in the way you care for me and the girls, while also running your business and the house as well. I so should have appreciated all that you do, and I swear my darling I will always pay the utmost attention to you and all the wonderful things you do for me and the girls, I love you so much", Leonard told her from the heart.

Penny already feeling like a million dollars after her massage, felt her hurt feelings over Leonard's lack of appreciation for her slip away.

And afterwards they walked along the beach and talked together, reaffirming their love for each other. Then after just sitting together and gazing up at the stars they made their way for home to finish off what they had started in the massage parlour.

And two or three times a week Leonard during their special times together would give Penny her relaxing massage to ease the cares of her busy day with the result that it brought them even closer together if possible. And Leonard took great care never to forget the wonderful advice he received that evening from Bernadette.