A/N: Just a little warning; the end of this gets a little naughty.
Heero's POV
It had been over an hour since Duo had gone to bed. I sat a while longer, watching as the last of the storm passed, and then, decided it was time to get some sleep.
It eluded me.
Instead, I stood in the doorway to his bedroom, watching him sleep within a veil of shadows. Duo used to have nightmares. We all do to an extent, each of us suffering with the PTSD that came from the nightmarish hell of being child soldiers. There's counseling, which helps, but it's not quite… enough. No. I stand watch over him at night to keep his sleep peaceful when the nightmares come.
I know what signs to look for that denote he'll have a restless night. The way his brow furrows and pinches a gentle line above the bridge of his nose when he's deep in thought, or the hard way his eyes seem to stare through us, instead of at us and the hard set of his mouth that's forgotten how to smile. Oh, he can smile and be as jovial as he wishes, but he can't lie to me in that subtle manner that everyone else is so accustomed to believing.
I saw to it myself to take care of Duo, even during the wars. Two years ago, I decided to talk him into moving in with me, and much to my relief, it didn't take much convincing other than the fact that no, he wouldn't be a burden to me. I couldn't help it, because before he chose to be my roommate he lived in a tiny little apartment on the west side of town; a claustrophobic little cube that didn't give him enough freedom to truly call it a home. I'd been there often enough, only turning down an invitation if I was too swamped with a case to bother with coming over. The place was just too small for him, and if the confined space reminded me of the cockpit of my Gundam, I could imagine what it made him recollect.
I remember the first night he had a nightmare. I wasn't even awake as I rolled out of bed, I just remembered crouching by my bed in my underwear, gun in hand. Then I heard him groan. It didn't take long to go across the hall and open his door. The light washed over his form that was struggling within his sheets, his eyes shut tight and a look of terror on his face. My heart clenched and I set my gun down on his dresser. I remember staring at him from the foot of his bed, that's all I could do, stare. I've never seen him so vulnerable and I have to admit; he was a veritable punching bag when we were Gundam Pilots.
I didn't want to wake him, I can't explain why, but I did want to comfort him. Maybe he had no business knowing that I have a more tender side. That's nobody's business, to be honest. I sat down beside of him and placed my hand on his chest. He reacted violently, his fist coming out and clipping me on the chin, but in the sleep state he was in, it didn't pack much of a punch.
One thing I'll never tell him; he can swing a mean right hook. If I were an ordinary man, I'd be foolish to pick a fight with Duo. He's lightning fast and sneaky and he takes things far too seriously in battle.
Right now, he was sleeping peacefully, curled on his left side with his face towards me. His breathing was even and I was satisfied. Without a sound, I took a step back, pulling the door mostly closed so the light of the hallway wouldn't shine in his eyes, and then I went to bed.
"Hey, Heero?"
"Hm?" I was at my desk going over two case files for ballistics.
"I'm making the grocery list, can you think of anything?"
"Not off-hand," I said as I swiveled my chair around and walked it to the filing cabinet behind me. I pulled the heavy door open and began to check rapidly through thick tan folders as Duo scribbled a few things on the list. The week after our vacation, after we had returned to work, had gone by rather fast. Well, for me at least. I love keeping busy. At least tomorrow was Friday and we'd have the weekend to do nothing and slack. Duo's only mentioned the house he wants to buy once, so, maybe we could look more into that. Now that I really think of it, I think it's a great idea. Besides, the kitchen we have now really is too tiny and I like to have some room while I cook.
"Alright," Duo mumbled. "I'm going to hit the store after I get done at the gym, so I'll be late."
"Why don't you just let me handle it?" I asked as I continued to search for the file I needed. My fingers continued to skip rapidly through the names.
"Yeah, right," Duo scoffed. "I know you; Mr. Generic is just as good as name brand."
"It is," I said as I located what I needed and slammed the door shut before pushing my chair back and rolling back to my desk.
"No it isn't," Duo said with a frown.
"It's exactly the same thing," I answered as I lifted my eyes up to him. This was a topic I could never convince him of.
"Then explain to me why my Cocopuffs don't taste as good as the generic crap that comes in a bag."
"Your imagination," I said as I began to get back to work.
"It is not! The generic crap tastes like cardboard and it gets soggier faster!"
"That's because it's the product that's fallen behind the machines. They sweep it out once a month and bag it up as generic."
"AH HA!" he crowed in triumph as he pointed at me. "I knew it!"
"And I knew you'd agree with me. It's the same thing." With a smirk I picked up my folder and walked past him while he stood like a statue, processing that information.
"You suck, Heero!" he called to my retreating back.
"And you swallow," I deadpanned back.
I couldn't help it. I absolutely could not help it. I do have a mean streak. It's in my nature. While Duo was working out at the gym, I had taken on the task of shopping. Usually we go together on a Friday, but this week, we had run out of more non-perishable things mid-week, so a Thursday evening trip was necessary. I was home long before he was, so I had time to strike. I put up all the name brand items I had purchased, hiding them conveniently in the linen closet by the bathroom before digging out the rest of the items. His generic Cocopuffs, generic pop tarts, generic soda… oh how that gets him howling. Especially if I'm not paying attention and grab the diet by mistake. I put the new package of name brand frozen waffles in the old non-name brand box where he couldn't miss them; right in front in the freezer and then I cleaned up the evidence and put away the empty plastic bags.
When he got home that evening, the rambling started. Soft at first, and of course he howled when he saw the soda. I got a twenty minute lecture on how much that "crap tasted like salty ass", and then I got to hear the sarcastic saga of the great "Pop tart shortage", where thousands upon thousands starved to death because they knew better than to eat the non-name brand crap. I just sat on the sofa, relaxing and watching an old episode of Married… with Children as he stomped about the kitchen. After a little bit he had fallen into a dull ramble, though sometimes some of the words were barked loudly enough at me to hear, but otherwise, I just sat and watched TV with a smirk on my face.
"You son of a bitch!" Duo spat as he came in with his real box of pop tarts. "I'm going to get you back for that!" The amusement in his eyes softened the sting to his words.
"That is payback," I said.
"For what?"
"You don't remember?"
His face went blank before a large grin broke out over his angelic face. "Oh yeah," he said softly, and then began to chuckle meanly. "For that time I put out the personal ad in the paper for you."
"I'm still getting calls."
The chuckles only turned darker as he went back into the kitchen. "I know."
"Fair is fair."
"Good!"
"I didn't say we were even, however. I'm just warning you that fair is fair."
"Hey! You were the one that locked me out of the house naked that time!"
"Well, I'm still surprised the crazy bird lady across the road still has the hots for me," I said as I leaned back on the couch and propped my feet up onto the table. "And here she's seen you naked."
Duo groaned. "That's it, I'm hittin' the gym every night for the next two months."
He made me dig out the rest of the "Name brand goodies" from their cache in the linen closet before he'd give me any peace. At least I had been nice enough to put the pop tarts where he could easily find them, you know, to alleviate the stress of his tirade. He was enjoying it. Duo likes attention. I think it's because he got so little growing up. He likes positive attention, that is. He's wise in what he chooses to accept. I don't know why he chose me, however. I never intended on having friends. Hell, I never assumed I'd survive Operation Meteor. But, here we are; best friends. Perhaps more. I just don't know how to tell him.
He was so adamant on breaking through my shell, he never gave up on me. In the beginning, I was so dark, so mission focused and then here came this bright beam of light, piercing the darkness, piercing my soul until the cold was slowly melted by that warmth. He gave me room when I needed it, but drew me close when I didn't want it. He's a natural, I don't know why he didn't go into psychology. He can read people like books and he has such wisdom, hundreds of years beyond his own.
I think Duo is someone who makes me feel safe. I can hear his voice down the hall when I'm having a dark thought, and then, the clouds just pass and I feel good. I feel right. This is what love feels like and to be honest; I really like it.
I wish I had the courage to tell him, but I don't. That's just fine with me, it's not hurting anyone, keeping this secret to myself. I'm happy to feel this way towards him, even if it is unrequited. Oh, sometimes I'd like to think he feels the same way. He'll give me a look, or he'll touch me and it sends electricity through my system to levels of near overload, but, that's all it is. A look, a touch. I can live life with his simple looks or touches as long as they're mine.
"He~ey! Earth to Heero!" He was waving his hand in front of my eyes.
I force myself to blink and then lift my head. I'd been staring into space with my thoughts. "What is it, Duo?"
"Shower's yours, but I'd wait. Had to wash my hair."
"Want me to brush it out?"
Duo scoffed. "Why?"
"Well, it's over three and a half feet long, you were complaining that your shoulders were sore from your work out and it would give me enough time to do something while I wait for the hot water to come back because of you."
"You're so clinical!" he said with his nose in the air, though his tone was playful. "Yeah, sure sure, just don't yank on it."
"I won't," I said. "Just run a towel over it first, I don't want a small lake in the living room."
"Ha ha…"
It didn't take him long to get into his lounge pants and return to the living room. A fresh towel was in his hands and he used it to blot the excess water out of that chestnut mane. I've seen it down only a handful of times, and regretfully, it was wet. I've never seen the full glory of all that hair sweeping down his back to his knees, but I've had dreams. And day dreams. Spreading my knees, I gestured for him to sit down in front of the coffee table and he obliged. I could only close my eyes as a frown line pinched my brow as he purposely dumped the mass of damp hair over my lap, and then I picked up the comb. He didn't have to tell me to start from the bottom up, and I took my time, combing it out lock by heavy lock while he watched a movie. When I got to his scalp, his body began to grow heavy against my knee and I knew I had a sweet spot, especially when I would trail my fingers through it and down his neck. I swear I even heard him purr once.
"Want me to braid it?" I whispered.
"Yeah," he whispered back. "But just keep brushing?"
The hopeful tone of his voice made something in my heart shiver and I eased him over to the other leg. I brushed his bangs back, so I could get a good look at his face. I don't know why he hides those eyes, masks and all, I suppose. Quatre's guilty of the same thing, and here I am. Pot, kettle, black?
He relaxed more, this time, openly leaning his cheek against the inside of my right knee as I slowly trailed the wide-toothed comb just along his scalp. I watched his lashes flutter as his lids grew heavy. I knew exactly how he felt. This was the magic that he used when he would cure me of my bad headaches. Gently, feeling a bit of daring, I reached out with my hand and brushed his bangs back from his forehead in a timid caress. The touch startled him and he let out a soft gasp, his eyes snapping open wide.
"I didn't mean to scare you."
"Sorry, I was in the middle of asleep and awake, you know when you're still aware of what's going on, but dreaming at the same time?" he whispered.
"Yeah," I agreed.
"I dreamed you threw a cat at me."
I couldn't help the bark of laughter that escaped. Only Duo.
"You ready to go to bed?" I asked as I eased him forward and began to separate the thick hair into three separate ropes.
"Yeah," he said, but he sounded a bit off.
"What's wrong?"
"You'll laugh," Duo answered me sullenly. I was quiet for a while while I braided, and when he leaned forward further, he let out a pitiful moan.
"No I won't, are you okay?"
"Yeah, hang on, let me stand up so you can finish, but don't laugh."
"I won't," I promised and he gripped my knees to use for leverage to stand with a grunt. I still didn't see what the problem was, so I went back to braiding, letting my knuckles purposely dance along his spine. Now and then he would shiver, and then slowly shift from foot to foot.
"Are you okay?" I asked again.
"You'll laugh."
"I won't."
Duo turned around and I could see the large tent in his pants, but not the exasperated expression on his face. I couldn't help but to stare. I wasn't angry, I was flattered.
"It's healthy," I managed to respond with Duo's self-proclaimed "Ten inches of Maxwell fury" staring me in the face.
"I'm going to go dig a hole and crawl in, night, Heero."
I simply nodded in response and lifted my arm to hand him the comb. I didn't mean for the inside of my elbow to brush it. His face turned bright red and he staggered away, trotting as best as he could to his bedroom. He's lucky I was able to control myself and not throw him on the couch and have my way with him.
It was well after Midnight when I heard him groan. My feet hit the floor silently and I padded across the hall to his door. It was open a crack so I pushed it open further, peeking in with the excuse that he was having a nightmare on my lips in case the light woke him. It didn't. He was in the throes of another dream, but the expression didn't denote that it was a bad one. His hands were gripping the covers and twisting them, and in the beam that small bit of light cast over him, I could see small droplets of sweat on his skin. I let myself into his room and ever so gently eased myself upon his side of the bed. He groaned again, turning his head slowly from right to left, his lower lip pulled between his teeth as his body writhed once. Reaching out, I placed my hand gently upon his chest, but instead of soothing him, as it always did during a nightmare, it seemed to… excite him.
Duo pulled in a sharp breath of air, and then let it out in a shuddering pant. His brows furrowed and I soon realized that he was having an erotic dream. I felt a stirring in my boxers. I've never seen him so aroused before. Well, not counting earlier tonight when his erection was in my face, but this… this was so exotic. He really is quite the creature when he's in the throes of passion. I relaxed my fingers against his chest and slowly drew my hand down, caressing his bare flesh. It puckered into goosebumps beneath the pads of my fingers and I felt a heat bristle within my core, spreading out to my extremities. Much like hypothermia victims must feel before they succumb to the condition.
This isn't right, I can't sit here by his side, while he's vulnerable in sleep, and take advantage of him like this. I can't move, however, I can't force the muscles in my legs to cooperate and rise so they can take me away from this. I can't stop the slow trek of my hand along his chest. My fingers brush against a nipple, bringing it to fierce life.
He moans at the touch.
Inside my own head, I answer it with a groan of desire, a need so great it's causing the blood to rush against my eardrums, making roaring sounds against them. I inhale deeply through my nose, an involuntary reaction that I know is purely primal. My hand angles down to caress along his ribcage before angling back towards his navel.
I can't take advantage of Duo like this, I wouldn't hurt him for the world, and if he were to wake up as my hand slowly trailed down along his stomach… what would he think as he felt my fingertips bump along the muscles of his lower abs?
He's naked. He must have taken off his lounge pants before going to bed, I feel soft hair now and know that I'm touching his pubic area. My erection throbs against my belly, and the thrill of this new secret thing pushes all shame aside. Now I'm touching something soft and hard at the same time, just along the edge, and it has a heartbeat that pulses with mine. Velvety steel. My eyes are locked onto Duo's face, Duo's pleasure-filled face as my fingers now trace the length of that mighty rod. He wasn't lying, there had to be at least ten hard inches lying against his hip, throbbing in time with his heartbeat.
It took every fiber of my being to rein in my desires and slowly, before I could indulge in caressing the inside of his thigh, I pulled my hand away as if his creamy skin burned. In a way; it did. I closed my eyes tight and leaned forward as a cramp took over my lower belly, and when I opened my eyes, I gazed into his face. He was still caught in that dream, and I could only hope he was getting what he so badly needed. His lips were parted now and his breath was coming in short puffs between them. I was able to fight myself from touching him any further, but I was not able to stop myself as I leaned over and took his lips in a slow, gentle kiss. They fit mine so perfectly and for a brief second, the tip of his tongue flicked out, touching my lower lip before disappearing. I pulled away and when I was satisfied that he was still sleeping, I rose on shaking legs and slipped out of his room like a thief.
Never had I succumbed to such a thrill, such an erotic adventure, and it had left me shaken at the very core.
