'….Captain Levi?'
He was holding a cup of tea in his left hand and his right arm was casually draped on the back of his chair, holding a pendant. Lyla stared at the sight blank mindedly. She heard him say,
"Tsk, don't just stare. Come in."
"Ah, yes sir!" Lyla tensed as she took the seat opposite to Levi. He placed a cup of tea in front of her and tutted,
"Relax." Levi presumed his previous seat. Lyla silently sipped her tea as she watched the Captain fiddle with the pendant again.
"That pendant…" Lyla started. Somehow it looked familiar. Levi lifted his face. "Oh this?" He twirled it once in his fingers. "It's a present I got from a friend." Something close to longing was drawn on the Captain's face for a brief moment. Lyla didn't ask more as she drank her tea. If it made him make such a face, it would be someone special to him.
'Maybe…. A girlfriend?' Lyla shook her head as she dismissed the thought. Levi stored the pendant away and nodded at Lyla, "Pierced your ears?"
"Yes sir."
"It suits you." Levi mentally slapped himself for saying that. What did he just say? Why did he say it?
Lyla stared at him with wide eyes, "Thank…you sir." She then blushed. She never knew that her Captain had this kind of side.
He noticed her hands and said, "I thought I told you to get them treated brat."
Lyla jolted, "Oh! My apologies sir, it must've slipped my mind." Now that she was reminded, she noticed how her hands stung.
"Tsk," Levi got up and walked to Lyla. "Come." He went out of the kitchen. Lyla just sat there.
"Hurry up brat," Levi said. Lyla quickly followed but couldn't stop herself from asking,
"Um… Where are we going sir?"
"To my room," Levi said as if he was mentioning some everyday thing. Lyla almost halted,
"If I may sir, why?"
The Captain just pulled Lyla in and took something out of his drawers. He briefly returned and commanded.
"Now spread your hands."
Lyla did as told, still confused. The Captain silently started applying some sort of cold cream to her hands which immediately soothed her skin. Lyla couldn't help but blush and she didn't even know why. She stole a glance at her Captain who looked as stoic as ever.
"There,"
"Thank you sir,"
"Now go rest brat. I'll take care of the dishes in the kitchen."
Lyla tried to protest as she came out of the room but the Captain said with a glance.
"That's an order."
...
...
The next few days were used to shove in the formation for the expedition. It was a fastidious thing to do and on top of that Lyla wasn't sleeping well these past few days due to nervousness.
When the expedition was only a week away Lyla could see that everybody was at their nerves. Mealtimes were silent and the members flew into attack position at the slightest sounds. Sleep didn't come to Lyla that night as well as nightmares marred her head.
Lyla woke up in a forest. The trees were tall, even taller than titans. The height blocked out the sunlight. She noticed that there was blood staining the brown dirt, caking it into mud. Lyla looked around and froze. The bodies of her squad members lay around lifeless. Eld's body was torn in half. Gunther hung from his gear like a marionette. Oluo was sprawled on the ground with empty, open eyes. Lyla turned her eyes and covering her mouth, cried out in pain, tears streaming down her eyes.
Petra was smashed into a tree, her spine snapped into a painful angle and her face stained in blood. Something fell with a thud beside her and Lyla's eyes widened with shock when she saw what it was.
It was Eren.
He lay with open eyes that saw nothing, his body covered in some kind of fluid Lyla didn't know. His gear and uniform were gone. Lyla scrambled away from it with terror. Suddenly the ground gave out and there was Lyla standing, on top of a mountain of corpses. She looked down. Some she recognized. Mikasa, Armin, Eren, Squad Leader Mike… and her Captain. Those silver eyes looked up at her lifeless. A chill went down her spine.
Lyla woke up screaming. Her whole body trembled like a leaf. She slowly stumbled out of bed as her body continued to shiver uncontrollably.
"It's only a dream. Just a dream. A nice cup of tea would fix everything."
Lyla proceeded to stumble to the kitchen. She staggered to the counter and fumbled with a cup to get her tea, only almost dropping it.
"Tsk," a figure tutted behind her. The next moment somebody pushed Lyla gently to the side and started to get a cup of tea.
"Captain…?" She was so messed up that she didn't even notice him sitting at the table.
"So, you were so troubled that you couldn't even notice me?"
"I-I…"
"Tsk, sit down."
Lyla did as told and Levi placed the cup of tea in front of her.
"Thank you, sir," she quietly sipped it, trying not to spill since her hands were still trembling.
Levi heard Lyla scream from upstairs and almost bolted up to her room. He saw Lyla coming in the kitchen and noticed immediately that something was off. She didn't acknowledge his presence and looked like a walking corpse. He saw her unstable state and before he knew it he was getting her tea. Again like last time. He observed her as she drank her tea. When her trembling subsided he asked,
"What was it?"
"Sir?"
"The cause that rendered you into such a state," Levi's tone was indifferent but his eyes bore into Lyla's as if searching for an answer.
"It was nothing sir. It was just a nightmare."
"I see." Levi seemed to mull over her words.
Lyla shivered as the images of the nightmare returned. Levi noticed this.
"Lyla,"
She did not hear.
"Lyla," Levi called more firmly. Lyla lifted her head at her Captain's voice.
"It was only a dream. It won't happen."
Lyla looked at her Captain. She could barely make out a hint of softness from his eyes. She slowly nodded, "Yes sir,"
After a long moment of comfortable silence, Lyla spoke out.
"Many will die." It was a statement.
"….Yes," Levi couldn't quite hide the bitterness in his answer.
"Do you think one of us will die, sir?" He could catch a faint tremble of her voice.
"You were there Captain," Lyla almost whimpered out. "You were among the dead bodies."
Levi sighed, and to his surprise, he walked up to her. He then pulled her into his arms. He felt Lyla tense for a second in surprise but then relax. Levi hesitantly started stroking her head.
"It won't happen, I won't die." As long as he lived, he would try everything to protect his squad. Lyla nodded and leaned into his touch. It felt so soothing and calmed her nerves. After a moment Levi pulled away. Lyla stopped herself from sighing in disappointment.
"You should get some rest brat. You look like shit," Levi said gruffly but Lyla could make out the softness in it. She smiled and answered with a salute, "Yes sir, good night Captain."
...
...
"Do you ever get scared?" Lyla suddenly asked Petra as she swept the floor.
"It would be a lie if I said I didn't," Petra replied knowing exactly what Lyla meant. Going on expeditions, leaving the safety of the walls is a difficult and terrifying thing to do.
"But I know what I signed up for when I decided to join the Survey Corps." Petra finished.
"I'm not afraid of my own death. It's just…" Lyla trailed off.
"It's the other's death, your comrades' deaths that scare you," Petra ended the sentence for Lyla. Lyla nodded. It would hurt so much. Petra smiled softly and said, "At least I'll stay by your side."
Lyla looked up.
"I'll stay by your side no matter what. So you don't have to worry about losing me."
Lyla smiled. They both knew that Petra can't guarantee anything. But she knew that Petra would try her best to keep her word. That was the Petra Lyla knew. Soft and tender yet fierce and determined.
Levi watched his two squad members from afar. He heard their conversation as he wiped the windows. He too would do whatever it takes to save as many lives as possible.
Lyla found herself making frequent visits to the kitchen for tea as sleep seemed like it decided to desert Lyla for the time being. The Captain was always there. At first, Lyla felt a bit shy since she remembered the events from her last visit. But the Captain merely said,
"Come in."
And so Lyla did. They didn't talk but it was a comfortable silence as they just kept each other company. Despite not saying much, Lyla saw a soft spot of the Captain a few times and became to be less annoyed by him. Actually she grew quite fond of him.
That night was the night before the expedition and Lyla had a repetition of her nightmare where everyone died. They sat there quietly drinking their tea.
"Nervous?" Levi asked casually.
"Very, sir," Lyla replied.
"Just don't get over emotional out in the fields. Try to keep a level head. If you want to live, think." He couldn't bring himself to say that everything will be fine because it won't. Many will die. Lyla understood this and she nodded.
"Yes, sir."
On the morning of the expedition, Lyla felt nervous than ever as she put on her gear. A nasty feeling has settled in her stomach. With trembling hands, Lyla barely managed to finish putting on her gear and then she went downstairs for a silent breakfast. The food was never luxurious or good tasting but that morning's breakfast tasted bland than ever. After the meal, Lyla saddled her horse which she named Clover but her hands were shaking so bad that she couldn't buckle the straps.
"Tsk," she heard from behind her as Levi pushed her away to finish the job. After securing the strap once more he faced Lyla, "Calm down."
Anxiety has grown when Lyla stood in front of the doors on her horse. The trembling stopped but the feeling in her stomach was worse. Images of her nightmare kept replaying but she shoved them away.
"May the 57th expedition commence!" Erwin's voice rang in the air.
