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Chapter 3 Staring Over

21 days can be a long time

I thought the worst of it was over

Thought I was doing fine

So when my friends called, I didn't stop to think

I grabbed my coat, I grabbed my keys

I said it's just a drink, but I was wrong

Here I am and there you are

I'm a second seemed to stretch

And in this breath that I can't catch

I lose my heart as you lean in

Just like that, you set me back where I begin

Starting over, getting over you, again

I haven't called you, I haven't even wanted to

And when I heard that you went out, I never asked with whom

It's like you always know, you see right through me

And when I'm done with you, you find me and undo me every time

Here I am and there you are

I'm a second seemed to stretch

And in this breath that I can't catch

I lose my heart as you lean in

Just like that, you set me back where I begin

Starting over, getting over you

Oh, let me love you or let me go

How I can do this I don't know

Just when I think I'm really through

And when I think I'm over you

Here I am and there you are

I'm a second seemed to stretch

And in this breath that I can't catch

I lose my heart as you lean in

Just like that, you set me back where I begin

Starting over, getting over you, again

I never be over, getting over you, again, again

Jennifer Nettles

Set after the "Jack episode" of season 2

The note had been sitting on the coffee table just like every other time. Rusty was out with Provenza and Buzz she slowly drank her wine and hugged her pillow. Is this how that had started? Had it started when he left her alone with two babies and barely enough money to put food in their mouths? Or had it started before that, all the nights she spent up wondering if he would make it home? Whenever it had started she had promised herself never again and yet her she was, alone on a couch with another note full of lies and excuses. This time with another child to explain things to, one who had experienced far too much disappointment from adults already in his life.

Over the next few weeks life began to return to normal. She and Rusty found their way back to the routine and comfort they had established before Jack had interrupted their lives. At work things were better than before Jack came. Somehow learning just how big of an ass Jack was seemed to cause her team to rally around her even more.

On Friday night three weeks after Jack had left Sharon was finishing up her paperwork when Rusty texted he was going to Kris's house for dinner, as Andy knocked on her office door.

"Here Captain, everyone's reports are done." He said as he put the reports on her desk.

"Thank you Andy." She said with a faint smile.

Andy couldn't help but notice she still seemed off, "So you and the Kid have big plans for tonight?"

Sharon shook her head, "No he's having dinner with Kris."

"Well we are all going to grab a bite, maybe watch the Dodgers game, you should come with us." He suggested nervously.

"Come where with whom?" Andrea said as she walked into Sharon's office.

"Oh, I was just telling the Captain we were all going to grab a bite to eat and watch a little bit of the game. You're welcome to come to Hobbs." Andy offered.

"We'd love to." Andrea answered before Sharon could speak.

"Great, Rudy's in an hour then." He said offering Sharon a smile before leaving.

ShandyShandyShandyShandy

An hour later Sharon had slipped off her jacket and was sitting with the rest of her team at Rudy's. She was about to order herself a glass of wine when Andrea stopped her.

"Sharon wine and baseball don't go together. She'll take a Shandy." She'll told the waitress.

"What did you just order me?" Sharon asked with a laugh.

"A Shandy, Captain." Julio spoke up showing her his bottle, "It's a kind of beer, a good one."

Sharon nodded and settled back into her chair and listened to the exchanges among her team. She had to admit it was nice to be out with them. Since Rusty had come to live with her she had gone out very little. She didn't say much just enjoyed their company. At one point Andy must have noticed she was quite because he casually placed his hand on the back of her chair and leaned closer to her.

"Are you having a good time?" He asked her quietly

Sharon turned and her eyes meeting the dark brown ones she had watched for all of these years. She smiled when she saw the sincerity in them,

"I am, thank you for asking me to come." She said keeping their eye contact a little longer than maybe she should have because suddenly the bar felt much warmer.

Then suddenly it wasn't warm at all anymore and Sharon felt the air being sucked out of the moment she had just found herself in. Andy noticed the change in her and quickly looked around trying to determine what had happened. It did not take him long to find the answer, Jack. He had just walked into the bar with a woman on his arm, a woman who was half his age at best.

"I thought he had left town." Sharon said in a voice the carried vulnerability Andy hadn't heard before.

"Do you want to leave? I know you rode with Andrea, I can take your car." Andy asked not moving his hand from the back of her chair.

Sharon shook her head and Andy recognized the look that took over her previously vulnerable face. The woman who was relaxed and enjoying herself a few minutes ago was gone and the guarded captain in her suit of armor was back.

"No, I'm fine. Let's just watch the game." She said shifting in her chair away from Andy and the moment they had been sharing.

Sharon didn't hear another word her group said, she had no idea what was happening with the game. The only thing she could hear in the crowded bar was Jack's voice. It carried directly to her ears over every other sound. He was flirting with the girl he was with, telling stories and jokes the same style he had used thirty years ago. When she could no longer take it she quietly grabbed her purse and jacket hoping to quietly slip out and catch a cab back to her car. It was then that Jack spotted her and followed her to the door.

"So are you not even going to say hello?" He asked with his signature smile.

"Hello and good bye Jack." She said turning to leave when she felt him grab her elbow.

"Don't touch me Jack, go back to your date." She said firmly.

"You know I will always come back to you Sharon and I always know that you are waiting for me." He whispered in a low voice before letting go of her arm and walking away.

"Not this time Jack, not anymore." She said quietly as she watched him walk away.

She glanced back at her team laughing and joking. Andy looked back at her from where he had been talking with Tao and Provenza and smiled at her she smiled back at him before turning to leave.

She decided she would walk the few blocks back to the PAB and try to clear her head. She got about half a block down when she heard Andy come up behind her, "Captain, Captain.." he called out a few times and she pretended not to hear him, until finally she heard him call out, "Sharon wait."

He had never called her by her first name and it literally stopped her in her tracks. "Andy, I'm fine, please go enjoy the rest of your evening."

He walked up to her and smiled at her, "I'm sure you are. I just thought maybe you could use a friend."

"Friend?" She questioned him.

"Yes, I think we could be friends, if you want to be." Andy said with a shrug, his eyes showing that same sincerity they had earlier.

Sharon smiled at him, "Maybe we could Andy, tonight though I need to be by myself and figure out how to start over again."

Andy reached out a placed a hand on her shoulder, "Ok, just know I'm here if you need me."

ShandyShandyShandyShandyShandy

The next case that came to them was one of the most difficult they had seen. The young swimmer who had hidden such a horrible secret all those years. The pain that the he locked away that had destroyed his life. While they worked the case Sharon kept an eye on Andy as he was working through his issues with his daughter's wedding. She could see he was hurting and kept thinking about his offer of friendship.

She had asked him to stop by her office before he left for the day. She smiled at when he told her he was going to the wedding then she took a breath before she said the next words.

"Could you use a buffer?"

"How would I introduce you?"

"How about as your friend Sharon." She said deliberately letting him know she was accepting his offer of friendship. She couldn't help but smile at how he suddenly seemed so nervous.

A few hours later as she checked her reflection in the mirror one last time as she heard the doorbell ring. As she went to open the door she wondered if this was what really starting over felt like.

TBC