Everything I thought that I needed, turns out I had
Everything I thought that I wanted, I'm giving back
Starting a mend, that's beating again
Hey heartbreak, give me your key
It's you, it's not me
Oh, you only bring me down, down, down, down
Hey heartbreak, don't come back
I swept up your shattered glass
What goes around is coming back around, round, round, round
heartbreak, I'm breakin', I'm breakin' up with you
Heartbreak, I'm breakin', I'm breakin' up with you
Jennifer Nettles
Breaking up with Heartbreak
"All right then, I guess I'll see you at work on Monday." Andy said there was no hiding the hurt in his eyes.
"Andy, I need you to understand…' She started and he held his hand up to silence her.
"I understand Sharon, you don't want more that what we've been. I guess I read the signals wrong and earlier was just the excitement of the moment. " He said as he as he put some money down on the table that would be more than enough to cover the two cups of coffee and stood to leave.
"I'm sorry Andy." She whispered looking down at the table afraid that if she looked him in the eyes that he would see the truth. She watched him as he turned to the door and stop as if he sensed her thoughts, he turned back to her.
"We've always been honest with each other, so just tell me Sharon, was I wrong? Did I misunderstand what was starting between us?'
She took a breath and stood from the table slowly allowing her eyes to meet his. It would be so easy to let him believe that, it would be the easy way out but it was a lie and he was right they had always been honest with each other. "No, no Andy you weren't." She pushed past him all but running to her car.
Part of Andy wanted to run after her and ask her why she wouldn't give them a chance but he didn't. He didn't have to, he already knew what or better who the answer was, Jack Raydor. Jack was the only man Sharon had ever trusted her heart to and he had broken it over and over again.
Sharon did her best to hold it together until she was back home in her bedroom thankful that Rusty had already gone to bed. She sat down at her makeup table removing her earrings and other jewelry, she took her glasses off and stared into the mirror all she could see though was the memory of Andy's eyes starting at her right before he kissed her.
Rudy's was as loud and as crowded as you would expect when the Dodgers were playing in game seven of the World Series. They had managed to find a table in the corner where they could still see plenty of televisions. Rudy saw them as they entered and gave them a nod, less than five minutes later a waitress arrived with a club soda for Andy and a Shandy for Sharon. "Two grilled veggie sandwiches?" She asked quickly. Andy looked at Sharon who nodded, "Yes, thank you," he told the hurried waitress.
"Are we in here that often and are we that predictable?" Sharon asked taking a sip of her beer.
"Well, I would guess we've watched at least one game a week here all season." Andy pointed out with a shrug.
The Dodgers had trailed the entire game and entered the ninth inning down by a run, the bar had only gotten more crowded as the night had gone on at some point Sharon had moved around the table next to Andy to allow others more space. They were down to their last out with a runner on first and you could have heard a pin drop in the bar as the batter stepped to the plate. Sharon heard Andy let out a string of curse words when he swung and missed at the first pitch, she smiled and took his hand as the next pitch was released. They stood together their hands still joined when they saw the ball and bat connect sending the ball over the heads of the infielders their fingers tightening as the centerfielder traveled back further and further his glove extended until he hit the wall the ball still flying behind him. The bar erupted in cheers and celebration, there was the sound of champagne corks popping. Sharon threw her arms around Andy in celebration and without thinking placed a celebratory kiss on his lips. At once the sounds and people around them faded to the background Sharon watched as Andy's dark eyes went from shock to desire there was no time to stop him nor did she want to. She felt his hand go around her waist and the other press against her face as he drew her to himself. In the midst of the celebration their lips joined and they lost all sense of where they were thinking of only the way it felt to finally give into what they had been fighting for months. It wasn't until a couple of guys celebrating too hard knocked into them that they stepped back from each other.
"We should get out of here." Andy said taking her hand leading her to the door overwhelmed by everything Sharon followed him. When they reached the parking lot Andy smiled at her and went to kiss her again.
"Andy, wait." Sharon stopped him placing a hand on his chest, "let's go get some coffee and talk."
Sharon flipped off the bedroom light and slipped into bed but when she closed her eyes all that she could see was Andy. It had been over a year since she had accompanied him to Nicole's wedding, then to the Nutcracker and then she needed a plus one to a charity event and he had been happy to return the favor, then they had slowly begun to spend more time together, dinner, ballgames, running errands together on the weekends. Overtime she had told him everything about Jack and he had told her about his time before and in recovery. He had held her more than once when she cried worried about Rusty. They teased each other and yes they flirted and touched each other but they had never crossed a line until tonight.
Unable to sleep Sharon put on her robe and walked to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine, she picked up her phone to text him but decided against it, and instead she flipped through the pictures on her phone. The first one was of a selfie they had taken in the bar that night in their Dodger's gear before the game had started. Andy had his arm around her shoulder and she had she was leaning into him her eyes shining. There were pictures of them with Andy's grandkids, and there was the one Emily had taken of Andy when they had been in town for Mother's Day and Andy had cooked brunch for them. He was wearing an apron and carrying a platter of waffles.
At some point she must have fallen asleep on the couch because she woke to the sound of her phone buzzing on the table. She sat up at once hoping that it was him and sighing when she saw it was Emily.
"Hi Sweetheart." She answered
"Go Dodgers!" Emily answered enthusiastically, "Did you and Andy watch the game at Rudy's? I bet that place went crazy."
"Yeah, it did." Sharon replied trying to suppress her thoughts of the night before.
"Mom are you all right?" Her daughter asked.
"Emily, I kissed Andy." She confessed.
"Mom! That's great, it's about time!" Emily squealed.
"No, Em then I told him I didn't think we should spend as much time together and that I didn't want that kind of relationship." Sharon told her tears beginning to fall.
"Mom! Why would you do that? Andy is a great guy who obviously cares about you a lot. I would kill to find someone like that." Emily questioned. "Wait does this have to do with Dad?" Sharon sat silently on the other end of the line. "Mom, you served him with divorce papers and it should be final soon. Don't tell me you are thinking of giving him another try."
"No, it's not that your father and I are permanently over. It's just…"
"It's just what Mom?" Emily asked.
"Emily I've never known anything like what Andy and I have right now and I've never known a romantic love that didn't break my heart over and over again. I'm not sure I'm willing to trade one for another."
"Mom, don't you get it you and Andy already have a life together, you're just missing out on some of the really fun parts."
"Emily!" Sharon exclaimed.
"Mom, did you like kissing Andy last night? Did you want to keep kissing him?" Emily asked.
"Of course I liked it Emily, I'm not dead. There's just so much at stake." Sharon did her best to explain.
"You're right Mom, there is a lot at stake, like your chance to have a relationship with a man that loves and respects you enough to wait a year and a half until you kiss him first because he doesn't want to rush you. Mom, I've got to go I'm going to be late to rehearsal but listened you've lived with heartbreak long enough maybe it's time to break up with it. I love you."
"Love you too Em." Sharon said before hanging up the phone.
Sharon took a shower as Emily's words echoed in her head she thought back to the pictures she had looked back on last night, and finally to the feel of Andy's lips on hers and how good it had felt to be kissed that way by a man who she knew she could trust. By the time she had finished getting ready she had made her decision. She thought about driving straight to Andy's and begging for a second chance but she came up with another idea. She picked up her phone and texted him.
Can we please talk?
She waited for what seemed like an eternity for his response.
We've talked a lot Sharon
Sharon sighed, knowing she had hurt him.
Andy, I'm really sorry about last night, I want to see you, but I know I've hurt you. I'm sending you the address of where I'll be this morning if you want to meet me.
She waited awhile but no response came, eventually she placed her phone in her purse and walked out her front door driving to the address she had sent Andy. She parked her car next to a park and sat on bench facing a small slightly worn house across the street. It had been painted since the last time she saw it and a new set of bikes we laying in the grass in the small yard. She sat for what seemed like hours wondering if he was going to come and was about to leave when she heard his voice from behind her.
"Are we on a stake out?" He asked in an attempt to break the ice wondering what they were doing in this neighborhood.
Sharon smiled at him and motioned for him to sit next to her on the bench, "That use to my house." She told him softly. "That's where I raised Emily and Ricky. Emily broke her wrist on the monkey bars over there." She pointed to the playground next to them, "And Ricky broke the Carter's window playing baseball over there."
"Sharon, I don't understand…" Andy started and Sharon slipped her fingers around his and he stopped talking.
"That is where Jack left us and like a fool I took him back time after time, that's the house where he would get drunk and say terrible things to me that I believed for a long time, that's the house that I fought like hell to keep when Jack stole all my money, that's where my heart got broken over and over again." She explained trying to fight back tears. "I sold it the day Ricky left for college and haven't been back since."
"So why are you back now?" Andy asked her moving to face her taking his free hand and moving her hair back from her face.
"When I moved from this house I thought I was leaving all of that pain behind, but what I've realized is that I just boxed it up and put it in storage and now with you, with us it's all getting unpacked." Sharon confessed.
"Sharon, I'm not perfect I am sure I will mess up and do things that I shouldn't at times but I can promise I will never treat you the way Jack did. I think you should know that by now." He told her the hurt washing across his face.
Sharon squeezed his hand tighter, "I do know that Andy, most of the time, but sometimes all of that stuff in boxes gets in the way."
"So what do we do about it?" He asked hesitantly.
"I'm going to get someone to help me unpack it all. I saw a therapist for a long time and it's probably time for me to go back to her."
Andy nodded, "That's great Sharon I mean it, in the meantime where do we stand?"
"I'm hoping we stand together and start moving forward together, even if it's slowly." She offered hopefully.
"I can go slowly Sharon, as long as I know we are trying together, because I really think we could have something great." He told her placing both hands on her face.
"Me too." She agreed leaning her forehead against his.
"I don't want to rush this but I would really like to kiss you again." Andy said pulling back to study her face and was met with her lips pressing against his.
As they slowly separated Andy wrapped an arm around her should and she leaned into him, "I bet you and the kids had a lot of good memories in that house too."
Sharon smiled and looked up at him, "We did, we really did."
"Tell me one of them." He gently prodded as he ran his fingers through her hair. Sharon stood up and offered him her hand.
"Come on the place we would go for breakfast on Saturdays is still open. You can buy me breakfast and I'll show you where I taught them how to ride bikes and drive cars, and where Emily had her first ballet recital."
He took her hand and they slowly walked the streets of her old neighborhood Sharon pointing out the important places of her life with her two oldest children as they began to slowly make a future together.
TBC
A/N An update on a too long of a neglected story of you read it the first time around I apologize for letting it go unfinished and I thank you for coming back. If you just found it thank you for reading. A new update will be soon, I promise.
