The room was dark, but not the same pitch black of the one Mayuri had been held in. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the sparse lighting, and she was left blinking rapidly, squinting as she tried to make out the sight before her. When her eyes fell upon a small figure curled up on a cot, her breath whooshed out of her.
Stumbling forward, she bumped into the edge of the cot and immediately hoisted herself up, tiny legs flailing in the air for a second as she struggled to get onto the cot. She settled by her sister, reaching out with trembling fingers to push a lock of black hair back from her face. It was strange to see this girl, to see a stranger, and yet to know who she was, right down to the very fiber of her soul. This was her sister. That was all that mattered.
"Hiroko," she whispered, voice trembling. "Hiroko, are you okay?" She shook her shoulder gently. When Hiroko curled into a tighter ball, seeming to collapse in on herself, and didn't so much as open her eyes, Mayuri turned to Kabuto, her eyes enormous and worried.
"Try being a bit louder," he said, sounding amused but not cruel. Though she couldn't tell if it was genuine or not, the tone helped to set her at ease.
She shook her a little harder, calling her name again. She had done this a hundred times before, waking her sister up for school, for work, to help their mother, to go outside to play. This time felt different, though. Special in a way that was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
When Hiroko groaned and rolled over, batting her hand away, Mayuri couldn't hold back the relieved laughter that bubbled in her throat, because that counted as a reaction, didn't it? Surely, surely she would be okay. She had to be. Gathering Hiroko up in her arm, she pulled her in for a tight hug. The girl let out a quiet noise of shock, going rigid in her arms.
"Hiro, it's me. It's Mayuri!" She paused, and then in a language that felt heavy and awkward on her tongue, she breathed, "It's me. Can you understand me? I remember everything."
Hiroko pulled back abruptly, staring at her sister with a single enormous eye that was glassy with more than just sleep. Mayuri stared in shock right back at her, taking in the childish face of the girl she had known for as long as she could remember. A white bandage obscured half of her face, keeping a pad pressed firmly against her left eye.
There was blood staining the wrappings.
The sudden image of Hiroko with her face mutilated, a gaping hole where one eye should be and blood pooling around her head flashed through Mayuri's mind. She shuddered, fighting back nausea at the memory. She reached slowly forwards, resting one hand on her sister's shoulder and squeezing gently. Hiroko looked at the hand, then back at Mayuri's face. A look of understanding dawned on her face, her visible eye going bright and clear. Mayuri blinked quickly, trying to stop the tears that prickled at her eyes, threatening to spill over. She took a deep, shuddering breath, and did her best to smile.
"Hiro, it's going to be okay. We'll figure out how to—"
Hiroko slapped her, hard. Mayuri was left open-mouthed, staring in shock at the wall beside her sister's head as she tried to process what had happened as the taste of blood danced across her tongue. Funny, how she had had that taste in her mouth more times in the past week than she had ever had before.
Slowly, she shifted her gaze back to her sister. Hiroko was breathing hard, tears pouring from her visible eye and lip trembling as she glared. Her hands were resting in her lap, fists clenched and knuckles white. Mayuri reached up to touch her stinging cheek, unable to wrap her mind around the fact that her sister had just hit her.
"Hiroko...what—?"
"Don't," she snapped, her voice hoarse and tight. Mayuri flinched back from the harsh tone. "Don't try to lie to me. I've been dealing with the same shit as you for the past fucking week. So don't even try to act like things are fine. Don't pretend. Things aren't...I'm not—" Her voice seemed to fail her and she shook her head angrily, dropping her head and hiding her face in her hands as her shoulders shook with sobs.
They sat together, Hiroko refusing to look at her sister and Mayuri in turn unable to tear her gaze away from her. She listened as her sister cried, wanting to comfort her but not knowing how. She found she couldn't even bring herself to cry with her.
Eventually, the only sound she could pick up was that of both of their breathing as it slowly evened out. They let the silence fill the room for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Mayuri licked her lips and swallowed hard before breaking the quiet of the room.
"I'm sorry, okay? I just don't know what else to do, or how to help you, or—" she looked away at last, chewing at her lip as words failed her. She had been trying to ignore the panic of the unknown that had been filling and consuming her since she had woken up here for her sister's sake. She had been doing her best to act like everything was fine, that she could do something for them and that she wasn't just helpless and clueless and scared. She wasn't sure what to do now that her last line of defense had been so plainly laid out by the person she wanted more than anything to protect.
"I know," Hiroko mumbled. Mayuri forced her gaze back to her sister and had to swallow around the lump in her throat that threatened to choke her. She had seen her sister making the same face too many times to count, too sad for words, unwilling to outright ask for comfort.
Mayuri spread her arms wide and when Hiroko shifted forward, she closed the gap between them and pulled her in for a tight hug, trying to keep the both of them from shattering. When her sister squeezed her back, shoulders shaking with sobs again, Mayuri finally allowed herself to cry, tears slipping silently down her cheeks and soaking the thin material of Hiroko's gown. For the first time since she had woken up here, she didn't feel ashamed of her tears.
"I'm sorry to have to break up this heartwarming moment, but there was a reason I brought you here," Kabuto intoned, and Mayuri knew without looking that he was smiling that empty, infuriating smile of his. She ignored him, pulling Hiroko closer. There was a pause, and then he spoke softly, a warning in his tone. "Hiroko, Mayuri. You know what will happen if you don't obey."
With one more squeeze, Mayuri took a deep, shuddering breath and pulled away. Wiping her face with the hem of her sleeve, she gave a quick shake of her head in response to Hiroko's questioning look as she turned towards Kabuto. She scooted to the edge of the bed and let her legs dangle over the side, swinging idly as she waited. She pretended that Kabuto's smile didn't make her stomach twist and smiled back at him. She knew that it was strained and watery, but she hoped that he would attribute that to the crying she had been doing and not her continued disgust with him.
"What next, Kabuto-san?" She questioned, trying to keep her tone light. She felt Hiroko's fingers on the hem of her tunic and reached back immediately to grab her sister's hand. She squeezed it, trying to offer some form of comfort, to keep up the act that she was handling everything, even if it was just for herself now. Hiroko squeezed it back, filling Mayuri with both a warm rush of affection and the chill of terror. She loved her sister more than anything else in this world, and she had the sickening feeling that that would probably end up being the death of them both.
When she shot a quick glance back towards Hiroko, she felt an odd pang of pride at the cold, level stare her sister was giving Kabuto. She looked thoroughly unimpressed with the boy, and it made Mayuri want to laugh. It also made her want to smack her a little, because didn't she realize it wasn't smart to antagonize the guy who could kill you as easy as he could squish a bug?
"There will be two experiments run. Hiroko-chan, you will be a part of Group A and Mayuri-chan will be part of Group B. You both have high chances of survival, given your bloodlines, physical strength, and overall health."
Mayuri whirled to look at Kabuto so quickly her neck cracked. Her gaze was open, full of horror and disbelief and fury and far too many emotions to ever name, not a single one of them good.
"Wait! Kabuto-san, you said that Hiroko was too weak for anything like that right now! You...you said that—"
He shook his head and she fell silent. Mayuri could feel Hiroko's gaze boring into her back, questioning and accusing. When Kabuto spoke, his voice was methodical and professional as he said, "Hiroko-chan has made remarkable progress in the last few days. She's been deemed strong enough to participate in a lower-risk experiment, so try not to worry. There's a very good chance that—"
Mayuri stopped truly listening, and instead marveled at the way his smile never faltered, at how his voice never changed from the calm, detached drone as he told them in so many fancy words that they might die after being subjected to what would probably be horrible, painful experimentation. He continued talking, telling them more about their roles and survival rates without ever actually revealing anything meaningful. It was unreal, like some kind of a horrible nightmare.
Her mind latched onto the thought, and already she could feel herself starting to disassociate, the world around her taking a strange hyper-focus, half convinced that she must be dreaming. She shuddered, chewing the skin of her lips and the insides of her cheeks until they bled. If the wounds hurt, she didn't notice.
She wondered what Kabuto would do if she started slapping herself, then considered asking Hiroko to hit her again, instead. She quickly disregarded the idea, since that would probably result in him separating them again. So instead she nodded along as he spoke, the sound of his voice rushing over her but not really hearing any of the words.
She must have done something right, nodded and hummed when it was required, because she found herself thanking him and saying goodnight. Then, she was left alone with her sister, the door shutting and a lock clicking into place as Kabuto left. She stared at the door for a long moment, half expecting him to come bursting back in to take one of them away again.
After a bit, she hummed and turned to Hiroko, grinning sheepishly as she said, "I didn't get a single word of whatever it was he was just telling us. Did you?" Hiroko gaped at her, her face pale and sweat beading on her forehead despite the chill of the room. Slowly, she shook her head. Mayuri barked a humorless laugh, throwing her head back to stare at the stone ceiling with wild eyes. "We're a mess, aren't we?"
"Yeah, I guess we are." Hiroko paused and made a face. "Shit, we really, really are."
The two girls shared a look, then burst out laughing. It was too loud, too forced, just this side of hysterical, but it was a relief all the same. Mayuri was grateful for the chance to laugh with her sister again. It helped to relieve some of the tension that had been steadily building. She just hoped that it wouldn't be the last time they would laugh together like this.
"You really do remember, right?" Hiroko whispered.
The sisters were curled up together on the cot, lying practically on top of one another, their legs tangled. Mayuri hummed from where she lay with her head resting on Hiroko's chest, listening to the steady beating of her heart. She had her fingers pressed against her own neck, feeling the steady thrum of her pulse as it fluttered beneath her fingers. Hiroko could remember her doing the same thing, Before. She seemed to take comfort in the reminders that they were both alive.
Hiroko huffed in annoyance and said, "That doesn't answer my question."
"Sorry, what was the question?"
"I asked you if you remembered. You do, don't you?" Hiroko's voice was soft, shaking with fear. There were too many memories swimming in her mind to keep track of, too many thoughts and feelings from one too many lives that seemed to refuse to sort themselves out. She hadn't really been able to sleep for days, and it was weighing heavily on her mind. As she watched Mayuri struggle to stay awake, she felt something cold and heavy coil in her stomach.
"Yeah, I do. I was the first one to ask you that, remember?" Mayuri mumbled back, squishing her face further against her sister's flat chest. Hiroko grimaced, but felt a sudden rush of heady relief.
Smiling, she playfully shoved Mayuri, laughing as she said, "Did you just drool on me? That's so gross! If you're going to fall asleep can you do it somewhere else?"
Mayuri huffed out a quiet laugh in response and sat up, only to quickly plop down on top of her sister. Pinned by the weight, Hiroko screeched and wriggled as Mayuri made a show of preparing to spit on her.
"Oh my god, stop! That's disgusting! Get off!" Suddenly, she stopped laughing, throat constricting around a sudden surge of panic. It felt like the walls were beginning to close in around her, and there was just too much happening all at once. Mayuri's weight on her chest seemed to increase, cutting off her air and suffocating her. She couldn't seem to breath. Her voice turned serious, dangerous, as she snapped, "Get off, Mayuri. Stop! GET OFF!"
Mayuri froze, her eyes going wide as she watched her sister gasp for breath, eyes glassy. She moved to the side, letting Hiroko sit up to try to catch her breath. She snarled at her when Mayuri tried to touch her, eyes wild and unfocused. Mayuri froze, hands fluttering uselessly around Hiroko before she pulled them back. They ended up sitting in silence until it was over and her breathing evened out and the walls stopped threatening to crush her.
"You okay?" Mayuri whispered, monotone, her legs pulled up to her chest. The sound of her voice seemed to echo off the stone walls of the room. The flickering torchlight sent dancing shadows across the etchings on the walls and across their faces, making everything seem off.
Hiroko shook her head. "That's such a stupid question. Of course I'm not okay. Have you looked around you!? Do you not see where we are? What the fuck is even going on?"
Mayuri shrugged, and when Hiroko focused on her face, she realized that her sister wasn't looking at her at all. Her eyes were unfocused and far away, her face strangely blank as she thought. After a second, she shrugged again, her eyes unclouding and a strange grin taking over her features. Hiroko almost prefered the blank look.
"Honestly, I'm not even sure any of this is real," she announced, too cheerful, too calm. Hiroko stared at her, mouth twisted and stomach dropping at her sister's words.
She forced herself to calm down, then offered a shaky smile, voice strained as she muttered, "If I'm disassociating and you're disassociating, then who's going to fly the plane?"
As she watched, Mayuri's face seemed to crumple. She shook her head, eyes squeezed shut. She didn't bother to acknowledge Hiroko's attempt at a joke, and her voice broke as she said, "Hey, can you just, like...lay on me for a moment?"
Hiroko frowned, but nodded. They repositioned themselves so that she could flop down on top of Mayuri's back. She stayed quiet, head resting between Mayuri's shoulder blades, so much smaller than the last time they had done this. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the swirl of memories that rose like a sea, threatening to swallow her whole. She focused instead on the sound of her sister's shuddering breaths, the sound of her heart as it pounded frantically beneath her cheek. It was oddly peaceful.
Hiroko was nearly asleep when Mayuri spoke again.
"Hey Hiro, what happened to your eye?"
Hiroko pushed down the annoyance that flared up at being jolted out of her first moment of peace since she'd woken up here. Instead, she tried to focus on the conversation. She was surprised it had taken this long for the topic to be broached, honestly. She sighed, ruffling the long black hair that was curled around her face. She wasn't sure whose hair it was. She would have to get used to them having the same hair color, now.
"I guess that they were having some trouble with healing it or something. One of the medics said something about a transplant and next thing I know, I'm waking up with bandages on my face." She shrugged, knowing that the movement would be felt. It had really freaked her out at first, but it wasn't like she could do anything about it. This body didn't even feel like hers, really. What was a missing eye in the face of a misplaced soul, after all?
Mayuri hummed thoughtfully, then mumbled, voice muffled by the thin mattress, "I hope they at least got you a cool eye."
Hiroko snorted. "It's hard to say. I don't know if they'd want to waste some crazy superpowered eye on me."
"It wouldn't be a waste!" Mayuri immediately protested, twisting her head so her voice could be heard more clearly. "You're super cool and therefore deserve a super cool eye, right? If they're gonna do a transplant anyways, why not use some...magic one, or whatever?"
"Probably because they didn't want to stick something that useful into a kid who might die."
"Oh, yeah." Mayuri paused, then cleared her throat and reluctantly mumbled, "Hey, you do know where we are, don't you?"
"I figured it out a few days in. When Kabuto started talking about Orochimaru, well…."
They sighed in synchronicity and spat together, "The fucking Naruto world," and then marveled over the sound of such harsh words said in such childish voices.
They fell silent again, both lost in their own dark thoughts. Hiroko could practically hear the gears turning inside her sister's head, could feel the waves of melancholy rolling off of her.
"What are you thinking about?" She asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. For a long moment, there was no response, not even a single movement or sound to indicate that Mayuri had heard her. She frowned and opened her mouth to ask again, just as Mayuri heaved a huge sigh and twisted to wriggle out from beneath her. Hiroko let her go, the bed creaking as the sisters moved to sit side by side.
"I was texting Isaac before I woke up here. Did you know he's going through his Naruto phase? He was trying to tell me about whatever crazy shit is going down in Shippuden in the latest episodes and I was trying to pretend to be interested. Ironic, isn't it?" Mayuri whispered, her fingers running idly through her hair, twisting a few strands into tiny, messy braids. Hiroko's stomach lurched at the mention of their little brother and she pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin atop them. She stared at the far wall, eyes glazed as Mayuri kept talking. "I was just trying to remember what the last things I said to him and everyone else were."
Hiroko had to swallow a few times before she was able to ask, "And? What were they?"
Mayuri shook her head, the motion violent and angry. "I can't really remember. I wasn't paying enough attention when I sent the texts or hung up the phone or whatever." She laughed harshly, and Hiroko turned to watch her tap the side of her head with sharp, quick jabs that looked like they had to hurt. "It's so stupid, right? I've never been good at remembering anything useful, and now that it's so important my brain is failing me again."
Hiroko had the sudden realization that she had seen her sister cry more in the last hour than she would see over the course of several years, Before. She looked away again, uncomfortable.
"You always made sure to say "I love you" at the end of all your conversations, though. So you at least said that. Don't worry," she assured, breathing deeply in an attempt to avoid another panic attack.
She knew exactly what Mayuri's last text had been to her. She had read it obsessively after her sister's death, going over their last conversations over and over again, that last 'ok. night! love you!' offering both comfort and pain beyond belief. She had cried for days when, a year after her sister's death, her phone had been lost and that final message had disappeared with it.
She still couldn't figure out how it was possible that they could both be here together. After all, her sister had been dead for over two years. That they were together, here, in this situation...she wasn't sure if it was fate playing a cruel trick or some kind of twisted karma, or something else entirely. Maybe she was just on one hell of a trip and this was all some sort of twisted delusion.
She shivered and quickly pushed the thoughts away, focusing again on the situation at hand, on Mayuri's frustration over her missing memories. It was easier not to think about her own tumultuous emotions and to focus on her sister's instead.
Even if Mayuri couldn't remember her own final words, Hiroko knew exactly what the last things she had said to her loved ones were. It was how they had always been; Mayuri could never seem to remember enough and Hiroko would always remember far too much, things they each wished desperately they could forget or recall, the ability to do so seemingly just out of reach.
She hated it. They both did.
Before she could think further on it, Mayuri interrupted her thoughts with a quiet, "Hiro, did they tell you what happened to our mama here?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, good. I was worried I would have to be the one to break the news to you."
Hiroko made a quiet noise and tossed her hair, her eyes drawn to the flickering shadows on the wall. She didn't want to look at her sister, afraid of what she might see on her face while she asked, "Any idea how it happened? Kabuto told me you were awake when she died." Even if half of her mind said that the woman who had died was a stranger, the other half still loved her desperately, and she wanted to know how she had died. It felt wrong to not know, like she was dishonoring her memory by remaining ignorant.
She felt Mayuri shift, moving closer until they were pressed together. She was cold, as always, but Hiroko didn't mind. She had always burned like a furnace and her sister had always taken advantage of the fact. She certainly had no problem sharing her warmth with her perpetually-cold sister.
When she spoke, Mayuri's voice was hard and emotionless. "Orochimaru killed her. She was trying to smuggle you and me out of here, and he caught us. It was fast." She leaned to rest her head on Hiroko's shoulder, her quiet voice right next to her ear as she said, "I don't think mama even saw it coming."
Hiroko shivered but did not pull away. She sighed and leaned her head to rest on top of her sister's, squeezing her eyes shut. She didn't want to be here and wished so desperately that she could pretend they were somewhere else, somewhere safe.
Her heart clenched at the thought, something like ghostly fingers brushing her arm and the memory of warmth and safely in someone's arms. Her mind couldn't seem to distinguish between memories of her mother Before and this mother's smiles and soft words, and that felt like a betrayal.
She pushed those thoughts away, only to have them replaced with memories of a man, his fingers trailing down her back and gently through her hair as morning light trailed in through the windows of the apartment. Somehow, it felt almost worse to have such thoughts running through her mind, the pain like a razor slicing through her heart. In that moment, she wished for some way to forget. She knew she'd give anything for the chance to get blackout drunk.
"We'll need to find some way to tell which mom we're talking about, right?" she asked, too loud in the quiet room. She needed some way to push away those thoughts or else they would consume her again, just as they had been for the last week.
"I've actually been thinking about it!" Mayuri exclaimed, bouncing a little on the mattress and sending Hiroko bouncing as well. "What do you think of The Other Mother?"
When Hiroko looked at her, her sister was grinning broadly, like she had just told an especially clever joke. She wiggled her eyebrows and did jazz hands, smile never faltering as the seconds ticked by. Finally, it clicked, and while Hiroko groaned, Mayuri burst into loud laughter.
"I haven't watched Coraline in years! How did you even remember that?"
"I dunno. I just always thought it was catchy, I guess. Maybe the rhyming thing helped, but that's beside the point! What do you think of it for distinguishing between them? Mom would just be mom, and this mom would be Other Mother!" She wiggled her eyebrows again and Hiroko laughed, shoving her away. Mayuri fell back, giggling as she bounced against the mattress, sending it creaking again.
"Wasn't the Other Mother evil, though? This mother wasn't mean or anything. Just...different, I guess," Hiroko pointed out.
Mayuri hummed, mouth twisting as she considered that. "Well, it doesn't have to mean anything. I just figured it would be a snappy way to distinguish between them."
Hiroko shrugged. "Sounds good to me, I guess."
They lapsed into silence again, until the bed creaked. Hiroko looked over towards her sister, who had shifted to prop herself up on her elbow. She was staring at her with narrowed eyes, and when she had her attention, Mayuri patted the space beside her. Hiroko sighed but laid down in the small space, and Mayuri quickly drew the blanket up over both of them and shoved her icy feet against Hiroko's leg.
"You're rude as fuck!" she hissed, flinching away from the icecube-like appendage. Mayuri laughed quietly, but withdrew her foot. Hiroko knew that as soon as she relaxed, she'd be used as a heating pad again. She didn't really mind so much, though. This close to her sister, she could feel herself relaxing for the first time in days. It was nice.
"Hey, Hiro?" Mayuri whispered, rolling onto her side so that she was facing away. Hiroko hummed, sleep already weighing heavily on her mind, pulling her down into its comforting grip at last. "I love you."
Hiroko swallowed around the lump in her throat, trying to shove down the sense of foreboding that those simple words conjured. "Yeah, I love you too."
"Good. No matter what happens tomorrow, I'm just glad you know that. We'll be okay."
She didn't respond, unable to speak around the tightness of her throat. Instead, she just shifted closer, pressing herself against her sister and soaking up the comfort that another living body could bring. She fell asleep to the sound of soft crying.
An hour later, neither girl stirred as gas began to seep in through the vents, filling the small room with a purple haze that would ensure neither of them would wake up until it was time for the experiments to begin.
The next time she opened her eyes, Mayuri was alone and strapped down again. She stared in confusion at the blurry, distant ceiling, trying to figure out what was happening. When the door creaked open, she turned her head to stare at the medic who was fast approaching. She recognized the woman's long black braid and dark skin.
"Emi-san, what's going on? Where's my sister?"
The medic stood by her, staring down at her with a distant, sad expression. She brushed back a strand of midnight black hair from Mayuri's face, gently took a hold of her hand, and said, "I'm sorry about this, Mayuri-chan."
And then she began snapping the delicate bones.
Well, I'm posting this after being awake for almost 23 hours and running on four hours of sleep, so if you see any errors, please let me know so I can fix them! On that note, I'm looking for a beta or two. If you're interested, just let me know and we can talk.
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed meeting Hiroko at last! I'm still getting a handle on her character and personality, so I'd really appreciate any feedback you have!
