Kuvira looked up and began to pour her tale out to the girl waiting expectantly before her. As she spoke she got lost in her memories. Reliving every horrible experience.
Her parents had never wanted her. She was a mistake and they made sure she never forgot. It was when she turned five that they finally started using her. She was asked to steal from anyone she could and she did. But then there was that night…the night she turned eight years old.
"Now Kuvira. We need you to do a little job for us" the man growled, stroking tattered, leather whip as though it was some sort of sick pet. Kuvira gulped nervously. She said nothing but looked up at that man that she was supposed to call father, telling him to continue. "We need you to kill someone" he cackled, licking his lips as though savouring his request. "N-no!" Kuvira stammered.
"What!?" the man growled angrily.
"No, I won't kill anyone!" Kuvira yelled. "You insolent little brat!" he roared, flecks of saliva flying from his mouth. He took a deep breath and walked out of the room. "Come here dear" her mother murmured in a sickly sweet voice, she patted the couch and Kuvira sat down warily. "Sweetie, will you please just do what we say?" she asked.
Her father entered the room and sat down on the other side of the small eight year old, waiting for an answer. "Kuvira" he murmured, his voice gentle. He held out a hand and she put her small hand on top of his.
"Please" he asked, a pleading expression on his broad features. Kuvira shook her head "I can't" she all but whispered. The man's features twisted. His hand tightened around Kuviras pale wrist. He stood up with her dangling by the arm, struggling against his steel-like grip. "Daddy" she screamed. He threw her against the wall, hard. Her back slammed against the brick and she slithered to the ground, winded.
Her father advanced holding his whip threateningly above his head. It was that whip. The one with the cruel spikes at the end of its seven tails. Fear clutched Kuviras chest in an icy grip. Each night she saw him sharpening the tacks, each day they were sharper and more painful than the last.
She screamed as the pointed metal met her flesh. She felt it rip long gashes on her back and shred her light shirt. He struck harder. Rejoicing in her agonised screams and the spray of blood against the wooden floorboards.
Kuvira lay in the corner, a pool of blood around her, chest heaving as sobs wracked her slender frame. Her father threw the whip to the floor. "You are nothing" he roared "nothing!" that was when she made the promise 'no one would ever touch her again. No one could be trusted'
He grabbed her by the collar and threw her into a metal box. "Come find us when you can get out of that metal box. But knowing you, you'll probably have to wait for the police to rescue you" he cackled. His voice raising and growing more manic.
She lay in that box for two days before she could find the strength to even move. That moment was just a blur, her senses shrouded by the agony that shot through her ribcage and the sound of her laboured breathing. Somehow she managed to escape. She knew better than to go looking for her parents. She knew they had left her for good and the proof was in the small, stone tablet at the entrance to the box. Her father had carved the word 'die' into the stone in crude lettering.
She staggered to the nearest town. Rain poured from the sky soaking her shirt. She made it to the edge of the city before she collapsed in a doorway. She lifted her shirt to see the large bruise forming across her ribs. A gang of teenagers staggered around the corner and Kuvira tried hurriedly to wipe away her tears. The eldest of the gang saw her. "What have we got here" he snarled softly. The other five boys laughed drunkenly.
One of them grabbed a stone from the dilapidated road and hurled it at her, hitting her arm. She squeaked in pain as it impacted with fragile bone. That caused the gang to snigger and soon she was trying to avoid a torrent of stones. The leader of the gang laughed at her pain and kicked her hard in the ribs. She screamed and her sobs grew heavier. They swaggered away still chuckling, leaving her in the rain. It was on that day, curled up in the darkness of the doorstep with pain pounding through her that she made her second promise. 'She would never allow herself to show emotions. They were a burden. A burden that would only cause more pain'. Her vision swam as her pain intensified and she fell forward into sweet darkness.
Kuvira groaned as she opened her eyes. She felt a pair of sturdy arms supporting her. Her breathing quickened and she struggled from the strangers grasp, landing with a dull thud on the ground.
"Oh hello sweetie, I didn't mean to startle you" the stranger said apologetically. Kuvira looked up to see a grey-haired women dressed in flowing, green clothes standing in front of her. Fear flashed through Kuviras green eyes for a moment before she slipped on her emotionless mask. She tried to stand but her legs wouldn't support her and she fell to the ground with a muffled squeak of pain. "Oh no dear, here let me help you" the woman reached out to pull the child to her feet but Kuvira scrambled backwards. Her back met a wall and fear sparked through her but she hid it from the woman in front of her.
"Stay away" she growled, hands raised protectively. "I only want to help, my name is Suyin. I live in Zaofu. You broke your ribs and I wanted to heal them before we find your parents again".
The old Kuvira would have cried, or reacted in some way. The old Kuvira would let the woman help her. The old Kuvira would be naïve enough to trust a total stranger. But this wasn't the old Kuvira. This was the new Kuvira and the new Kuvira didn't trust anybody. The new Kuvira was strong. The new Kuvira could take care of herself. This was what Kuvira told herself.
"I'm fine" she said calmly. She let go of all the emotions that had plagued her mind, thoughts of betrayal, fear, sadness, helplessness were cast into the wind. "You're obviously not" Suyin insisted. She scooped up the small, wounded child in front of despite her protests. She held her firmly to her chest and walked towards the train station to return to Zaofu.
Kuvira tried to struggle when she was lifted into the air by Suyin but the night before had taken its toll and exhaustion soon took over.
Suyin looked down sorrowfully as she felt the girl go limp in her arms. Her soaked clothing was covered in blood and the back of her shirt had been whipped to pieces allowing her to see the mess of scars that lined the pale girl's body. She could feel the ribs of the starved child and that thought made her add a little more speed to her long strides.
Kuvira sat up with a jolt as she regained consciousness. She withered in pain as pain spiked through her ribs. She heard the soft metal tapping of footsteps echoing down the hall. She quickly put on her mask. She didn't show the pain that reverberated through her or the fear of lying in an unfamiliar bed. The metal door swung open and Suyin walked into the room.
"Hello dear" she greeted. "How are you feeling?" she asked softly. Kuvira shuddered inwardly. When her parents had spoken that way to her it always meant that she would end up being whipped. "What do you want?" she questioned, forcing her fear down 'she would show no emotions…'
"I'm so sorry!" Kuvira looked up to see Korra with her hand over her mouth and utter horror on her face "no wonder you're depressed" she added in a half-whisper. Kuvira just shrugged "I was depressed before I started college. I just masked my emotions but I guess the mask just became cracked" she admitted slowly. Korra had to refrain from reaching out and holding the older woman's hand. "It was the incident with Su that made me break down to be honest" Kuvira told her, still refusing to make eye-contact. "How?"
"I was sixteen, just a couple of years away from college. I had lived with Suyin and her family for over half my life but…I was never really part of their family. Su always claimed that I was like a daughter to her but she never treated me as such. I was never in family pictures, I often missed out on the family trips they took to the cinema or beach. But I didn't complain, I wasn't her daughter and she was good enough to take me in after my parents abandoned me. Then one day we…had an argument. She told me that I should be grateful that she ever took me in at all. She told me that she had wished I had died that night. So I just left. Baatar tried to stop me, he grabbed my hand and I just broke down. I can't really remember what happened…
I just know that Su rushed out, she told me to leave her son alone and Baatar was on the ground, I didn't even know what had happened to him but I think it was my fault. I stood up. My legs could barely support me, I just stumbled out of Zaofu, I didn't bring anything with me except a pair of gloves Suyin gave me when we first met. I didn't tell her about my past, all she knows is that I don't have any parents and that I hate human contact"
"Kuvira" Korra whispered. She looked heartbroken. "I-I didn't know. I'm so sorry". Kuvira bowed her head, refusing to look at the tanned woman in front of her. "I-I should go" she muttered, standing up. "Are you sure? Do you want to talk about anything?" Korra asked.
"No. I'm sorry you had to hear that. Just forget about it, okay?"
"Kuvira. I'm here for you whenever you want. You're my best friend"
"Are you really though. I'm just a depressed nobody that you ran over and you already apologised for that so don't feel any obligation to be my friend" with that statement Kuvira grabbed her crutches and hobbled out of Korras apartment and over to the elevator. "I don't care what you say. You are my friend" Korra called out to her but Kuvira showed no signs of having heard her.
Kuvira sighed as she sat on the edge of her bed. She pulled on the white gloves that Su had given her and sighed as its familiar comfort met her skin. She lay back on her bed, staring at the white ceiling. She was glad that Korra hadn't asked her why she had been arguing with Suyin, she would never speak of the horrors she had committed. It was just too painful.
Suddenly she grew angry. She hated herself. She had gotten herself into this mess. She had nearly killed herself. She had cast away the only true family she had ever had and now she had cast Korra aside as her parents had cast her aside. She was the monster Suyin had seen. She was evil…
