LOVE IS A DANGEROUS GAME TO PLAY
HEARTS ARE MADE FOR BREAKING AND FOR PAIN
I'M SELFISH AND I'M COLD
I PROMISED YOU, I SAID "NEVER AGAIN, NEVER AGAIN, NO, NEVER!"
A chilling breeze...
A bare grey room...
The steel floor cold under bare feet...
Flashes...
Memories...
A departing touch...
A cry for help...
Tears streaming down cheeks...
A slamming door and then...
Silence.
An empty room.
Alone.
A sudden jolt brought Aerrow back to reality as the Rover procured from the Mount Weather bunker crashed through the uneven terrain.
"Welcome back, daydreamer." Bellamy remarked casually from the seat opposite to him, an amused grin on his face.
Aerrow paid no attention to his comment. In fact, he barely registered it. He was still stuck in whatever the... Daydream... was. He shook his head rapidly, trying to wipe his head clear of the images but their claws dug deep inside him, refusing to let go.
It was a strange sensation. They weren't hallucinations, and he didn't think they were daydreams either. They felt far too real. He had experienced a similar thing prior to the events of Oblivion, rapid and terrifying flashes of both his past and his future. His vision from just moments before brought the same, chilling sensation: The sensation of memories.
This wasn't the first such experience he'd had either. These new visions had started not long after he had left with Clarke. They were only small at first, but as the weeks drew on they had grown in both realism and intensity, plaguing him with moments he was sure he had experienced before. The lonely room... a soft face rimmed with dark hair... a frenzied attack... the cold stainless steel of a hypodermic syringe... the dull lines of a metal cell...
The thing was though, he knew for a fact that he had never experienced any of those events. So while they felt innately like memories, they weren't his memories, and thus they had continued to taunt him to the point where he was sure he was losing his mind whilst wandering alone in the wilderness.
He felt his stomach lurch as the Rover bounced over another log, and gripped the bench he was sitting on so tightly that his knuckles started to turn white. He wasn't used to this. He was used to being in control of his own actions, not strapped helpless in a moving metal coffin. He didn't like it one bit. It didn't help that his head was still throbbing from his rather intense introduction to alcohol the previous night. He felt a sharp pain in his lower lip, and realised he must have accidentally bitten it when the vehicle landed.
The others who were with him in the cabin seemed amused by his discomfort. This was the guy who had faced armies head on without so much as breaking a sweat, yet he seemed almost intimidated, scared even, of travelling in the Rover. Bellamy raised an eyebrow quizzically at him, while in the driver's seat, Raven – damn her – had seen his reaction in the rear vision mirror and responded appropriately – by driving even faster.
Only Octavia beside him seemed sympathetic. "Ugh, I knew I should have ridden my horse." She groaned, leaning her head against his shoulder slightly. He didn't know if he stiffened because of the contact, or the latest bump in the god-forsaken journey.
"Don't worry, I felt the same on my first trip." The girl sat next to Bellamy told him in something along the lines of reassurance. Aerrow raised his head and made eye-contact with her. Her name was Gina Martin. With wavy brunette hair and large almond eyes, she was fairly plain looking – in a dainty sort of way. She was also Bellamy's girlfriend.
It had taken him a while to get used to that fact. It seemed... weird almost, that Bellamy had been able to start a proper relationship with someone, after everything that had happened. It wasn't so long ago, when the hundred first landed, that he remembered Bellamy assuming the role of their anarchic leader, who cared for no one but his sister and merely used people for his own benefit. On several occasions, his views had opposed Aerrow's, and the two had gotten into more than one fist fight. That was in the past though, and Gina served to remind him just how much they had all changed since then.
Gina was also unique in that she was one of the few people that Aerrow remembered from his old life. Hers had been the dorm next to Arianna's on the Ark, and the two girls were quite good friends, and while Gina had never really approved of Aerrow's somewhat arrogant and aloof personality, she had never said anything about his relationship with Arianna or done anything to break them up, instead recognising their love for the purity that it was. When she had seen him again, two and a half years later, she couldn't hide the wariness in her eyes – well aware of the crimes he had been accused of. She soon accepted him for the person Bellamy said he'd become, but he'd never had much to do with her since.
Finally, mercifully, the torrid journey came to an end as the Rover rolled to a stop. Cleo was the first one out, crawling uncaringly over Octavia and jumping down to the ground as soon as the rear door was opened. Evidently the big reptile disliked the cramped conditions as much as Aerrow.
Everyone else followed soon after. Their mission was simple: they were to make sure that the farm station survivors were settled in, and simply keep an observatory eye on them while Kane went the grounder capital of Polis to negotiate a treaty with the Commander, Lexa.
At first glance, there didn't seem to be anything at all where they had stopped, but then on closer inspection, there was a large metal door, concealed by a large shrub with the words 'Mount Weather Supply Depot – Property of the US Government' written on the arch above it. It was the only thing even signalling there was a base. The rest of it must have been hidden underground, nothing like the gigantic imposing granite peak that had been the Mount itself. Having been here before for supply runs, Raven and Gina headed straight inside, idly talking, with Bellamy close behind them. Aerrow though stopped as soon as he saw the writing, as bad memories threatened to come to the surface once more.
He was rooted to the ground, unable to move for a long time, simply fixing the writing with a hard gaze. Octavia came up and stood alongside him, his ambivalent look not going un-noticed. "You still think about what happened there, don't you?" She spoke quietly.
Aerrow shifted slightly. "Everyday." He replied, voice raspy.
Octavia paused. "Me too." Her voice was soft as she turned to look at him. "But you survived that. You can survive this too."
Aerrow merely nodded as Cleo crawled up onto his shoulder as he followed Octavia inside. As she walked through the door, she looked back over her shoulder. "You know you're bleeding, right?" She commented, before disappearing into the darkness.
Aerrow stopped just short of the door, only just noticing the coppery taste of blood in his mouth. He must have cut his lip open when he bit it before. He wiped his hand across his mouth, and sure enough, there was a trail of blood on it. Something wasn't right though. It was much darker than he remembered it being, only the faintest shade of crimson visible. He frowned, but didn't pay much attention to it, chalking it up to his eyes being used to the darkness inside the Rover, or maybe the residue of alcohol was still screwing with him. Unconcerned, he wiped his hand on his pants as he followed Octavia inside.
…
Walking through the corridor, he was overcome with a nauseating sense of déjà vu. Everything looked pretty much identical to the complex at Mount Weather, and he wondered if this was really just a supply depot, or was actually a back-up facility in case the Mount was compromised. As he walked past a series of open doors – revealing empty bedrooms – he suspected it was the latter.
He caught up with the others just as they made it to the dining hall. Again, it was identical to the one in the Mount, except this one was filled with people, talking, laughing and dining on fine food that had evidently been appropriated from the emergency stores.
The five of them just stopped in their tracks, not quite believing what they were seeing. It was one thing to be told the survivors were being moved in, it was another to actually be there to witness how they'd made it their own home. Aerrow could tell virtually no difference between the scenes in front of him at that moment, and those he had witnessed as a captive in the Mount.
"Someone's made themselves at home..." Octavia commented, a look of disgust on her face.
"There must be thirty of them here..." Aerrow observed as they slowly made their way down a series of steps into the hall.
"Thirty six, but the more the merrier." A dark skinned man said cheerfully as he stood up and made their way over to them. "Welcome, join us." He said as he shook Bellamy's hand. He wasn't overly tall, but he was thickly built, and had unnervingly dark eyes. Aerrow thought he recognised him from somewhere.
"Wow, the grounders are going to think you moved in." Aerrow remarked sarcastically as he cautiously made his way down onto the floor, doing his best to shut out the looks he was getting from the farm station citizens, directed either at him, his grounder-esque clothing or even the black and white reptile perched on his shoulder.
The man paused and turned his way, and his eyes hardened instantly. "Well... there was no room at Arkadia..." He said flatly, "And you are?"
The younger man returned his cold glare. "Aerrow." He said after a moments hesitation.
"Aerrow Eroxin?" The man said in surprise, "I haven't seen you since..." He trailed off and his eyes darkened as he remembered.
Aerrow suddenly realised who he was talking to: Charles Pike. Earth Skills professor on the Ark. Pike had never been a fan of his bludging in class, and likely even less so after an ill fated crash course on survival a mere week before the deliquents had been sent to the ground. Aerrow remembered it vividly. It had been the first time he had ever unleashed his skills.
"You look... different." Pike continued dryly.
Aerrow winced sharply, his face scrunching as he physically recoiled.
"Don't say that." He hissed in a crackly whisper.
The others around him frowned at the severity of his reaction, the only exception being Octavia who - having witnessed his extreme disdain for his appearance at the trading post - placed a calming hand on his shoulder.
He took no notice of it though, and merely hung his head in shame at the unvoiced questions written openly on everyone's faces. Bereft of charcoal to stain his hair at Arkadia, the blonde colour had returned to remind him every day of who and what he had lost. It continued to rip his mentality in half, taunting him. Robbing him of any sense of identity.
"I'm... sorry?" Pike tried.
"Can we just change the subject please." Aerrow shook himself free of his anguish. "Things happened, that's al you need to know." he said distantly, looking up again.
"So I heard." Pike replied, a notable edge in his voice. He reluctantly extended his hand towards him, only for Cleo to hiss sharply.
"Nice pet" he commented, retracting the limb.
Aerrow's face hardened instantly. "She's not a pet." He growled, glancing at the loyal reptile on his shoulder. "She's a friend."
The relaxed mood from moments ago had vanished as Pike and Aerrow sized each other up. Bellamy began to wonder if bringing the younger man along was such a good idea.
"So of all places, you choose to come here?" Octavia questioned, breaking the stalemate.
"Yes we did." Pike looked to the other warrior. "Is that a problem?"
"As a matter of fact it is." Octavia said sharply.
"O..." Bellamy started.
"Save it Bellamy." She interrupted. "I've seen enough. I'm out of here."
With one last glare at Pike, she turned and hurriedly walked off.
Pike flicked his eyes back to Aerrow, who had much the same look on his face.
"Me too." Was all the long haired teenager said before he followed after Octavia.
After watching them go, Bellamy turned back to face Pike, a sheepish look on his face.
"They're... spirited..."
Bellamy sighed. "You don't know the half of it."
…
Not five minutes after he first entered it, Aerrow found himself walking back out of the entrance to the bunker. Straight away, he saw Octavia sitting on top of it, staring glumly out at the landscape. Slowly, he climbed up to join her.
"You ok?" He asked as he sat down next to her.
She made no movement. "This is such as mistake." She answered, deadpan. "The grounders will never accept it."
Aerrow held his gaze. "You didn't answer my question." He said quietly.
Octavia turned to look at him, and even he was unable to decipher the cauldron of emotions in her emerald eyes. Eventually, she shook her head slightly. "This peace summit... Farm Station at this bunker... what if some things never change?"
Aerrow was silent, not really sure what to say, or even what she meant.
"Lincoln still has a kill order on him. Bellamy is off in another world and you're-" she cut herself off. "I'm still trapped, Aerrow." She finished, her voice now barely louder than a whisper. It cracked when she said his name.
Cleo crawled into her lap, and she absently started stroking the Lace Monitor's soft scales. Aerrow meanwhile just stared at her softly. He could see the tension in her shoulders, the frustration radiating off her expression. He remembered her telling him back at Oceana's trading post that she just wanted to leave. He figured after being kept hidden under a floor for sixteen years, all she wanted was to be free.
In a way, he could relate, though it was something else entirely that he wanted to be freed from, and his burden wasn't something he was sure he physically could be freed from. All he could do was focus on the moment. He made to wrap his arm around her shoulders – just as she had done to him on countless times – but stopped himself. No. He couldn't do that. He didn't deserve to do that. Instead, he simply let his hand rest on the shoulder closest to him. She tensed at first, but soon relaxed against him.
Unseen by Octavia, Aerrow bit his lip, deep in thought, while trying to ignore the warmth of her body that was seeping into him. He clenched his other fist. Even this was way too close, and no way in hell was he going to let himself get any closer.
Never again.
Although he didn't want to, he thought back to the time he spent with her at the trading post, and the intimacy of some of the moments he had shared with her there. He forced himself to steady his breathing and keep himself from shaking, so as not to reveal to the object of his thoughts anything of how torn he felt. It was the same story. In a lot of ways, there was nothing he wanted more than for that time together to have never ended. Nothing he wanted more than her. But there were equally as many tragic ways that reminded him of why he couldn't, and why he never could again. Besides, she was with Lincoln. No way did she feel anything for him-
He cut his thoughts as everything suddenly came together and something - a question - caught in his memory. As slowly as he could, he removed his hand and sat back upright. "If you want to leave with Lincoln," he said quietly, "Why did you bring me back to Arkadia?"
Octavia flicked her eyes to him, and they widened slightly, as if he had picked up on something she didn't want him to know about. She looked back down to the ground, almost guiltily, and at that moment he would have given anything to know just what she was thinking. "I-"
"There you are." A voice suddenly called below them. Aerrow whipped his head around to see Bellamy standing outside the door, staring up at them. Neither of them said anything as he himself clambered up and sat down on Octavia's other side.
"I know you don't like it, O, but we aren't the Mountain Men." He told her gently, "We can make the grounders see that."
"How? You're not psychic." Octavia grumbled.
Bellamy grinned slightly. "No." He smiled at her, wrapping his arm around her good-naturedly. "I'm just your brother."
Aerrow flicked his eyes up at that comment. Looking over Octavia, Bellamy met his gaze. Aerrow looked at him questioningly, but the look in Bellamy's eyes told him everything. He hadn't told her.
Aerrow was pulled from this realisation by the sound of someone crashing through the nearby undergrowth. "Someone's coming." He said quickly, pushing himself off the ledge.
Octavia and Bellamy were quick to follow him, landing lightly on their feet just as a pair of guards came out of the shrubs holding a grounder woman captive. She had long, brown tipped black hair, and the small yet distinctive scars on her temples revealed her to be from the Ice Nation.
"Echo?" Bellamy suddenly said in disbelief.
Aerrow turned to look at him. "You know her?"
"Yeah, she was in the cage next to mine in Mount Weather. She saved my life."
The guards were unwilling to let their prisoner go, but after Bellamy ordered them to release her, combined with some... persuasion... from Octavia, they cut her bonds. Bellamy helped her up and immediately asked her what she was doing here.
Echo stared up at him seriously. "The summit is a trap." She told them, "At sunset, your people will die."
…
Echo was quickly brought inside to explain the situation to Pike and the others. She revealed that the Ice Nation had sent an assassin into Polis, to infiltrate the meeting and kill Kane and the other members of Skaikru, in hopes of preventing the peace treaty and leaving Arkadia vulnerable to attack.
Pike was reluctant to believe her at first, but Bellamy vouched for her, telling him how she had saved his life in the Mountain, and that they could trust her.
After weighing up his options, Pike decided to take a small force of people to Polis to prevent the attack, while he ordered Sinclair, Raven and Gina to find the launch codes for a missile silo – located separately from both Mount Weather and the bunker – in case they needed to defend themselves.
Aerrow meanwhile, found himself caught in the middle of everything.
He had no idea what to do.
He knew it was the right thing to go to Polis, and prevent the attack, but what if that meant...
"Aerrow. Gear up, you're coming with us." Bellamy told him as he loaded a clip of ammunition into his rifle. Aerrow though said nothing in response. He simply squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.
Octavia came up to him and said quietly, out of earshot. "I know you don't want to fight, Aerrow, but this isn't just about you anymore. This is about stopping a war. We need you! I need you!"
Aerrows flicked his eyes up at her words. Octavia too faltered, and cut the sentence short, realising that she had revealed a little bit too much. She cursed herself, and forced the feeling of conflict and guilt down before the unwanted feelings presented themselves physically. She saw his eyes widen slightly, as a faint hint of realisation appeared in them. Dammit.
She decided in that instant that she was in too deep anyway, she might as well go with it and make use of those sudden feelings she had triggered within him.
She drew one of her swords and threw it to him. Unlike last time, he caught the hilt confidently, and held it dead still in front of him as something ignited in his eyes. Octavia smiled. He was back.
