"I'm coming back." The words were said like an oath, low and firm, like she was daring the world to contradict her. "I'll see you soon, Hiroko."

Their eyes had met across the distance between them. Hiroko had taken in the hard expression and the fire in Mayuri's eyes, the way she held her head high as Kabuto waited impatiently for her to follow him like the good little soldier they were both being trained to be. Hiroko nodded once, trying to ignore the lump in her throat and the tears that gathered at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over. There was a boy lying unconscious and bloody behind her and a sense of urgency lingering over the room, and the feeling that something had shifted filled her throat like bile.

"I'll see you soon," she echoed, her voice barely a whisper. Her trembling fingers curled into fists, knuckles white. She cleared her throat and repeated, louder, "I'll see you soon."

She made sure her words were just as much a promise as her sister's, and despite the way her voice shook and cracked, she saw Mayuri smile. It was small, and so full of self loathing and sorrow, that Hiroko could feel herself getting choked up all over again. She blinked up at her sister, eyes wide and wet. She felt like her heart was breaking.

She was reminded suddenly, inexplicably, of a time years and a lifetime ago; Of too many pills and sitting in her sister's lap in an emergency room, face hidden in Avery's shoulder, tears staining both their shirts, apologizing over and over again while her big sister soothed her. Avery's voice had been rough with emotion, but she had never let a single tear fall where anyone else could see.

No matter her name, no matter the world, her big sister tried so hard to never let anyone see her pain. She never wanted anyone to see her tears, no matter how many times she softly assured everyone else that it was okay to cry. The way she closed herself off and refused to let anyone else see, anyone else help, was far sadder than any tears could ever be.

As she watched Mayuri turn away and allow herself to be led towards the door, something in her chest seized. This felt too much like goodbye. She stumbled forwards, managing a few shaky steps after them. She didn't have the slightest idea what was going to happen: it could be simple private training, the way it had been for months, or it could be something far, far worse. How could she let Mayuri walk away? What if something happened to her again?

She thought of hospitals, of bandages and life support and a funeral with only a handful of close family and friends. She thought of the way her sister never let anyone in and always hid her feelings, both good and bad, from everyone. Even those closest to her – even Hiroko herself – rarely got to see who she really was beneath all those layers of false smiles and careful self-censorship. Yet now, Mayuri was so obviously terrified, even if she hid it behind that ugly smile and fists clenched tightly to hide how they were shaking.

Orochimaru's smile had been so cruel and his eyes had been so horribly hungry, when he had told Mayuri to kill the boy that still lay prone on the ground somewhere behind Hiroko. She didn't remember much about Orochimaru from the show, other than the fact that he had killed the third Hokage and lured Sasuke away, and for the last few years, she had found herself wondering if he was really that bad. She had allowed herself to believe the propaganda and the reverent whispers she heard from around the base, his devoted followers telling tales of his glory with an almost frightening light in their eyes, like worshippers speaking of their god.

It was so easy to forget that he was the mind behind the weeks of torment she had endured after they had first woken up here. After all, he had very rarely been the one to carry out the atrocities. His face had never been the one that came to mind when she thought of her week of isolation, or of empty cots and ice burning through her veins. He was associated with cruel genjutsu tricks, yes, but more than that, when she thought of Orochimaru, she thought of glinting eyes and soft words of hard-earned praise. She thought of punishments that she was somehow tricked into believing she deserved and the comfort of gentle words and fond hair ruffling afterwards. He was the comfort of familiarity, the yearning to please someone important, the gentle or disciplinary hand of a father-figure that she had never known in this world. He was rarely in the village anymore, so perhaps that was why she had never seen his truly ugly side.

But hadn't Mayuri said he was the one who had killed their mother? Hadn't she said that she had seen it all? And even now, she still wouldn't speak of what had happened to her when she had first opened her eyes to this new world. For the first time, as she watched her sister walk away to yet another unknown fate, it occurred to her just how horrific it must have been, if Mayuri refused to so much as make self deprecating jokes about it.

Terror twisted in her stomach as guilt gnawed at her soul. She stumbled a few more steps forward, would have ran to where Mayuri was, if Yuki-sensei hadn't grabbed her arm in an iron grip and refused to be shaken off.

"Wait!" she begged. Kabuto turned back to glance at her, his expression closed off, almost eerily empty. Orochimaru was already gone, back to whatever tasks were keeping him out of the village so much, and somehow, that just made it worse. Bitterness rose in her throat, fury at him for condemning Mayuri to what was almost certainly an awful fate, and then leaving before they could even try to change his mind. Or maybe the sensation of flames crawling up her throat was just the bile.

"What is it?" Kabuto asked. It shouldn't have come as any surprise, but it still stung, how cold he was, how much he disregarded the lives of all those around him.

Hiroko could feel her chakra roiling within her, reacting to her tumultuous emotions like a pit of angry vipers being prodded with a stick. The temperature all around her dropped, and her breaths were easily visible in the frigid air. Frost spread from where she stood, painting the ground in delicate, swirling designs. Apparently, this was what a messy mix of fury, guilt, and determination looked like when given physical form. It was surprisingly beautiful. She met Kabuto's eyes.

"Take me instead."

"NO!" Mayuri whirled to face her, eyes burning and her shriek echoing throughout the cavern.

Yuki-sensei's firm grip on her arm turned bruising. Hiroko thought that she had never seen her sister look so desperate or so furious. She looked like some horrible goddess, the ghost of some divine deity, come to rain wrath down upon all those in her presence. Her eyes were wild green flames, standing in screaming technicolor contrast to the black-and-white background of her skin and hair, and the sepia of the rock walls and flickering flames all around them. As Hiroko watched, bones burst from her shoulders, curling around her neck and arms like fingers set to strangle the life from her tiny body. Blood dripped from the pointed ends of them, adding more color to her visage.

Seemingly unconcerned with the dangers Mayuri's abilities presented, Kabuto reached easily between the bones to rest a hand on her shoulder. It was a reminder of who was in charge disguised as a friendly gesture. She jerked at the contact, teeth bared behind chapped lips in an expression that was bordering on feral.

"Kabuto, you can't—"

"Quiet." His voice was soft and cold, and Mayuri shut her mouth so quickly that Hiroko could hear her teeth click together from halfway across the room. He turned his gaze upon Hiroko, who stared up at him with an odd mixture of hope and blind terror. Then, he smiled, and she felt her heart sink. "I'm sorry, Hiroko-chan, but I'm afraid orders are orders."

And with that, he turned and strode away. Mayuri lingered behind for a second, her eyes trained solely on Hiroko, like they were the only two beings who really existed in this entire world. Maybe they were. Even with her arm held painfully tight, even with her muscles sore, and with the cold from the air around her prickling at her skin and frost-covered rock biting at the soles of her bare feet, Hiroko still wondered if perhaps nothing here was real. It had all been a show, hadn't it?

"Mayuri-chan," Kabuto called, his voice echoing ominously throughout the empty space left in his wake.

Hiroko watched the emotions that flashed across Mayuri's face, too twisted and quick for her to make sense of, before her features smoothed out. She offered Hiroko a small smile, a smile that seemed to say, I'm glad it's me and not you. It made Hiroko want to vomit.

"We'll be alright!" she yelled as Mayuri walked away. Her voice was tiny and lisping, yet it seemed to fill the cavern with its intensity. "I love you! I love you, and I'll find a way to get you back! I promise!" She didn't know what, exactly, she was promising to save her from. She only knew that, in that moment, that promise was the most important thing.

Mayuri glanced back over her shoulder, and Hiroko could swear that, between the arching bones that helped to shadow her features, she saw tears shining in her sister's eyes and leaving trails down her cheeks.

"I'll be back, Hiro. I promise."

And then she was gone.

Hiroko went totally limp, Yuki-sensei's bruising grip the only thing keeping her from hitting the ground. There were tears trickling down her cheeks and freezing on her skin, crystals that shattered against the stone floor as they dripped from her chin. It took her a moment to realize that the horrible, warbling cries were coming from her throat.

Yuki-sensei scooped her up, cradling her easily in her arms despite how frail and delicate the old woman looked. Despite her refined appearance, she did not seem to mind the way that Hiroko was getting tears and snot all over the front of her elegant robes. In another situation, Hiroko might have felt bad about it. However in that moment, with realizations and anxieties and more emotions than her tiny body could process, Hiroko couldn't find enough room in her heart to give a shit about whether or not the expensive fabric would be stained by her leaking face.

They swept past the boy that Mayuri had knocked out, and Yuki-sensei didn't spare him a single glance. Hiroko tried to croak out a question, to ask what would happen to the boy who her sister had spared, possibly at the cost of her own life. She couldn't seem to be able to fit the words past the lump in her throat, though. Whenever she tried, the old woman would just shush her, pulling her a little closer.

They left the boy lying on the blood splattered floor, and all she seemed to be able to think about was that awful little smile that Mayuri had given her, and the way Kabuto's facade had turned cold, like it wasn't worth it to keep hiding behind a smile any more. Some distant part of Hiroko wondered what kind of a monster she was becoming, that she couldn't even bring herself to worry about a little boy that needed help; The rest of her didn't care.


"I don't really understand what you're so upset about," Dosu admitted as they sat side by side on the bed that used to be Mayuri's. Hiroko stared at him incredulously, and he rushed to continue. "I mean, she's been in the medical wing for a while now, right? It's not like they're taking her away or anything. She's probably just going to continue staying there."

"You don't know that! Anything could be happening right now!" she snapped. She was agitated, tugging at her hair so hard that strands had begun to detach themselves from her head and clung to her sweaty fingers like spiderwebs.

"And you don't know that anything bad is happening," he pointed out, ever the logical know-it-all. It was strange, how similar and yet different he and Mayuri were.

"Dosu. They wanted us to kill someone."

He shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. "They probably didn't really mean it."

Hiroko shook her head, eyes a little wild and she said, "I just know, okay? I can feel it." She curled a hand over her heart, fingers bunching the fabric of her tunic. She wanted to reach into her own chest and pull it out. She could feel it aching behind her ribs, pounding with terror and frustration and uncertainty. "I can feel it right here. Something is really wrong."

"Hiro, you don't have any proof that something bad is happening. Why are you getting so worked up about this? Mayuri is probably being taught more medical ninjutsu as we speak and she's going to laugh when you tell her that you thought she was being tortured or whatever."

Hiroko felt hurt rising in her chest, bitterness resting on her tongue. There were tears welling in her eyes again and Dosu was looking worried. Even if he should be used to her fits of passion after being friends for almost a year, he always became a bit panicked as soon as the waterworks started. She swallowed hard around the lump in her throat, trying to blink back the tears that threatened to spill over; She had already cried too much today.

"Why don't you believe me?"

His face crumpled, guilt easy to read despite the scar tissue that twisted his features. He sighed and shook his head slowly.

"Hiro, it's not that I don't believe you. I just don't know—"

"You don't believe me, Dosu," she interrupted, scowling down at her knees. "Don't lie to me, on top of that."

He didn't say anything. They sat in silence for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts, their own feelings, unsure of how to continue the conversation from there. Slowly, Hiroko allowed herself to relax. She focused on each of her breaths, reminding herself that Dosu was only a child with far too much faith in his home.

"It's fine," she said at last, and he jerked in surprise, turning to look at her. She didn't tear her gaze away from where her hands were folder in her lap, knuckles white and frost creeping across her fingers. "You weren't there. You didn't see her, or see that boy and all that blood. You didn't hear Orochimaru-sama's voice when he…."

She trailed off, her eyes glazed and distant. Dosu watched her as she tried to regulate her breathing, to focus on the promise that she and Mayuri had made each other. Then he reached out, slow and careful, like he was afraid she might bite him, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She went stiff, but didn't resist as he pulled her against him. He waited until she had relaxed into his side, trembling slightly, before he spoke.

"You're still taking those lessons with Risa-san and Kaito-san, right?"

Hiroko frowned, confused by the sudden change in topic. After a second of hesitation, she nodded. Dosu hummed, the sound deep and scratchy, sounding not quite human as it vibrated through his damaged vocal cords. Hiroko wriggled under his arm, twisting so that she could look up at him without leaving the comfort of his hug.

He was wearing what Mayuri had dubbed his "serious thinking face," which looked more like he was struggling to clench his buttcheeks after drinking spoiled milk, in Hiroko's opinion. However, that face usually meant he was about to spew some knowledge or idea that would keep the three of them out of trouble and at the top of their class. It was usually worth it to be quiet and wait until he sorted his thoughts out, so that was exactly what she did. Eventually, he spoke.

"They're both jounin of Otogakure, so it would be safe to say that they probably have a better idea than most about what happens within our village, right?" Hiroko turned again to look at him, jerking out of the hug as she did so. He met her wide eyed gaze steadily, and his lips turned up to reveal his gap-toothed smile. "It's obvious, right? Just talk to them about it. They're sure to know something."

"You're right," she said, latching onto the idea, already trying to come up with the best way to get them to tell her what they knew. She would have to be sneaky, would have to be pitiable, would have to be—

"Be careful."

Yeah, that, too. The last thing she needed was to draw suspicion to herself. Especially not from the people that she might be able to learn valuable skills from. If she could convince Kaito to teach her how to make explosive seals, then she might be able to use that to get through whatever obstacles or locks stood between her and her sister. Risa was also one of the shinobi that was sent out on frequent stealth and assassination missions. If Hiroko could get her to reveal where some of the more easily accessed back exits of the village were, then it would be that much easier to run away from the village. That wasn't even accounting for Yuki-sensei, who had been hinting at wanting to take Hiroko back to the clan's ancestral lands for weeks now. With the right amount of tears and a delicate balance between truth and lie, Hiroko knew she could get the old woman to smuggle Mayuri out, too, even if it would put her own life at risk. If she really played it up, she could probably arrange for Yuki-sensei to get Dosu out as well.

A harsh shake was enough to startle her out of her thoughts. Hiroko blinked wide, mismatched eyes up at Dosu, whose hands were still resting heavy upon her shoulders. He looked so solemn as he gazed at her, his dark eyes soft. Her brow furrowed with her uncertainty as she stared back, falling into the endless darkness of his stare.

"What is it?" she asked, voice soft.

"Be careful," he repeated, a little more firmly than before. She felt herself flush, though why, she didn't know. "I can see you scheming. Just...don't do anything stupid, Hiro."

"I can't promise anything," she told him with a grin, trying to lighten the mood a little bit and make him smile. "We both know that I'm the reckless twin, right? You and Mayuri are both the boring ones."

Her attempts at humor fell decidedly flat. Dosu grimaced in response to her words, the skin of his face wrinkling and twisting in an ugly way. Luckily, such things had stopped churning her stomach after their first month of real friendship.

"This is no laughing matter," he told her, firm and strict. He would make an impressive team leader with a tone like that, some day. "If what you told me is true, then this could very well prove to be a dangerous path you have set yourself on. Don't waste Mayuri's sacrifice by doing something stupid."

Something in her heart twisted like a knife to the back, slicing through muscles and veins and chambers without an ounce of mercy. Sorrow and indignation mixed, blooming across her chest like blood. She wanted to yell at him, to remind him once more that he knew nothing of what had happened, that he couldn't understand what it was like to watch the last family member you had walk away to some awful, unknown future, and to be unable to do anything to help or stop them. The lump in her throat was the only thing that stopped her from spitting her anger, grief, and fears like acid at her only actual friend in this world. It was the only reason she heard his next words, soft and shaking as they were.

"If you do something stupid...please don't leave me behind, Hiroko. I...I don't think I could stand to lose you, too. So please…."

He was shaking, though the flickering light of the torches made it difficult to see. Hiroko felt her anger abate, being replaced by shame at her own angry thoughts and mingling pity for this scared little boy. It was so easy to forget what it was like to be so young, both in body and mind.

He wasn't yet seven, and already he had lost everything. No father, no mother, no brothers or sisters. His old appearance was gone, and with its disappearance he had nothing left but the constant ache of damaged nerves and scar tissue, and the loneliness and humiliation of being the freak of every room he walked into. His only two friends would always be half a world away from him, wrapped up in their own schemes and memories, never truly able to open up to him like he could to them. On top of that, of those two friends, only Hiroko had been around recently. She knew that she hadn't been a good friend since Mayuri had been moved to the medical ward, always worried and on edge, ready to snap at the smallest of stressors.

He was so young, had only lived this one single life, and yet it was still so easy to look at him and forget that. It was so easy to let this body's childish gaze fall upon him and think, older, wiser, stronger. Hiroko sighed, and then let herself fall forwards into him, wrapping her arms around his middle and clinging like a limpet.

"We don't deserve you," she whispered into his side, words soft and muffled enough that she knew he couldn't hear her. "You're going to grow up to do such great things, Dosu. With or without us."

She already knew that any promises she made to him would be a lie. He knew it, too, so neither of them dared to say what was on their minds. Instead, they just stayed like that, curled together in the dim light of their room until they fell asleep.


It was three days before Hiroko saw Risa for her lessons, and in that time, she hadn't heard a word from or about Mayuri. It was like all of the medics she spoke to thought that if they pretended like Mayuri had never existed in the first place, Hiroko would eventually just forget about her. Instead, it just cemented the notion that something was seriously wrong and made her even more desperate to find her.

Though her anxiety mounted with every passing moment, the time did allow Hiroko to form more of a plan for when she approached Risa, instead of simply "look cute and be sweet, ask about Mayuri. If answer isn't satisfactory, cry and then ask again." She had tried that with the medics, and hadn't had any real results, though the guilt on the majority of their faces had been enough to tell her that they knew something and that it wasn't good.

So she bided her time, and when she saw Risa again, she set to her assigned tasks silently. Each delicate stroke of a paintbrush or each careful line that was carved into the glinting metal or shimmering glass had her full attention. Not even Risa's usual cheerful chattering could break her focus. It wasn't long until the teenager took note of Hiroko's unusual demeanor, and she eventually stopped talking as well.

They worked in silence for more than an hour, Risa eyeing Hiroko worriedly whenever she thought the younger girl wouldn't notice. Hiroko kept her eyes down, her shoulders slumped, her work careful and flawless. Looking despondent wasn't hard at all. It wasn't long before Risa caved.

"Alright, kiddo. Time to spill it."

Hiroko looked up from her work, adopting a deer-in-the-crossfire sort of expression. "Wh-what? I don't know what you mean." She set the meteor hammer she had been in the process of decorating down, the chain clinking softly as it was moved.

"You've been moping all day," Risa declared, setting aside her own half finished project. The curved blade of the oversized ax glinted like an executioner's blade, dyed a strange but beautiful whirl of reds and blues, a half finished clan marking etched onto its head. A custom order, then.

Hiroko bit her lip and twirled her hair. She had practiced this exact action and careful expression in the mirror until she had it down. She knew that she looked delicate and sweet, knew that Risa looked at her and saw a child that needed to be protected, harmless even while she held deadly weapons in her tiny, calloused hands. Hiroko knew that she could use that, and had been counting on it.

"It's just…." She paused and looked away, long eyelashes fluttering and eyes shining with crocodile tears that maybe weren't as faked as she wanted to pretend. "I miss my sister, Risa-sensei. I don't know where she's gone and nobody will tell me anything. I'm really worried!"

She looked back in time to watch Risa's face as she processed Hiroko's words. She was very expressive, for a shinobi that had a track record in infiltration. Most of them had been taught early on how to hide their feelings and keep their faces carefully blank (as was obvious nearly every time she spoke with an adult in the cafeteria) but Risa showed her emotions clearly.

Hiroko had wondered in the past whether it was by design or not. Maybe, after reaching a certain power level or social standing, shinobi just didn't care as much about that careful control. After all, if you were powerful enough, what did it matter if someone knew that they had pissed you off? They'd be dead before they got the chance to tell anyone.

Risa seemed to have settled on pity by the time she said, "I'm so sorry, Hiro-chan. It must be hard for you, but you have to have faith that whatever is happening, it's for the good of the village. Mayuri-chan is strong. I'm sure she'll be alright."

Hiroko had to fight against the urge to grind her teeth. It wasn't quite what she wanted to hear, but it was still better than Risa pretending like Mayuri had never existed in the first place or ignoring Hiroko's concerns altogether.

"Do you know what's happening to Mayuri? Is she okay?" Hiroko asked, wide eyed and hopeful. Risa was easy enough to get information out of, was always so willing to help. She was mischievous and could be rather brutal in her training methods, but at her core, she was almost too kind to be healthy. She would only find her soft heart taken advantage of if she wasn't more careful, just like Hiroko was doing now. "Please, Risa-sensei. Do you know where my sister is?"

Risa's eyes were sad as she shook her head, and Hiroko felt her heart clench, because she was pretty sure that Risa wouldn't lie to her about this. She might not be willing to tell the full truth or to give her any details, but she wouldn't lie.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about where your sister might have been taken. I'm sure she's alright, though! Mayuri-chan has a bright future here, right? She's getting trained to become one of Otogakure's kunoichi! Whatever is going on, it'll be for the best. Just be patient and have faith in Orochimaru-sama."

Hiroko felt like throwing up. She had been so certain that Risa would know something. Instead, she forced herself to give Risa a shaky smile.

"If you hear anything, please tell me, Risa-sensei. Please. I just want to know that Mayuri is safe."

"Of course!"

The weapons that Risa created were not only beautiful, but functional and of a quality that was rare and sought-after. It was only to be expected, as someone who had been trained by the village of artisans and sought out by Orochimaru himself. Her creations served dual purposes – able to be used by shinobi of Otogakure, as well as being sold as merchants' wares to bring additional revenue to the village.

That, as well as her skills as an infiltration and assassination specialist, made her very valuable. Hiroko hadn't realized at first how lucky she was, to have caught this girl's attention. Despite all that, though, if her words were true, it was looking like Risa did not actually have any special knowledge about the inner workings of Otogakure. It was disappointing, to say the least.

Hiroko looked away, nodded silently, and tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks. She noted that Risa had begun shivering, and tried to focus on reigning in her chakra, on releasing the hold she had over the ice that ran through her chakra networks. She regulated her breathing and tried to let go of the control she had over the very air around them.

When she was younger, in another world entirely, she would have killed to have abilities like this. Lucky her, she hadn't actually had to kill anyone to wind up with magical powers. She just had to die, and watch dozens of children die, too.

Scowling, she got back to her work, carving tiny budding vines along each of the links of the meteor hammer's chain. She would ask Risa again in a few days, see if she had learned anything new, but for now it was useless. She just had to trust that Risa's kindness would ensure that she actually did let Hiroko know if she got any news about Mayuri.

In the meantime, she would just have to keep searching.


The nightmares had gotten worse. She couldn't pass the night without waking in a cold sweat, a scream trapped in her throat and just waiting to be released. More than once, she had woken to find Dosu in bed with her, holding her close as she sobbed herself awake.

She kept dreaming of that awful smile that had carved open her sister's face as Kabuto lead her away, of a woman smiling at her from the middle of the road, headlights coming closer and setting her long hair aflame in the darkness. There was always so much blood, painting her face and covering her hands. The sound of a heart monitor and the screeching of tires and the screaming of a family left behind filled her head until those horrific sounds and awful images were the only things left in her whole world.

She stopped trying to sleep, after a while. It wasn't worth it. She would go and go, training until she bled, working with Risa until her eyes ached and her muscles burned, until she couldn't move any longer, until sleep dragged her into its depths and she was far too tired to dream of anything but the darkness and woke up to sore muscles and aching bones instead of screams.

She sometimes liked to think that the ache in her bones was some sign that Mayuri was alive, working just as hard to get back to her. She had never really believed in twin telepathy, even after she found herself with one, but it made her feel better to think that there was something special that connected them through the space between them.

At night she would wait until Dosu fell asleep and then she would slip out of their bedroom, still in her nightdress, and wander the halls of Otogakure. She tried to be sneaky about it, sticking to the shadows and ducking into the nearest empty room if she heard anyone approaching. That was how she found one of the labs.

She had slipped inside the nearest closed door of a section of the village that she had never been in before. She eased the door shut, glad that the hinges in ninja villages tended to be well oiled, and waited with baited breath for the sound of footsteps to disappear down the hall. Her sigh of relief was quiet, and as she relaxed, she became aware of the sound of bubbling water and beeping machinery coming from behind her.

Slowly, she turned, and felt the blood drain from her face. The room was filled with tanks, like the one she had spent so much time in soon after waking in this new world. Each had the wavering figure of a child inside.

It was like she had walked into another nightmare. For a moment, she was rooted to the spot. Her stomach was twisting painfully inside her belly, expanding in her horror and forcing its way up her throat, choking her. Her hands curled into fists, fingernails biting into her palms and carving out little moon-shaped crescents of blood.

She could remember all too clearly her time spent in a tank like the ones spread out before her, lit up and glowing in the otherwise darkened room in a hazy sea of multicolored lights. The awful feeling of liquid inside her lungs, filling her nose and mouth and ears, pressing against her skin and keeping her still and helpless. Even if it wasn't real, her mind still conjured images of Mayuri's blood swirling and mixing within the toxic green sludge of her own tank, a pillar of ice shoved through her abdomen.

Could this be where they were keeping Mayuri?

She surged forwards, all trepidation vanishing with the thought. If her sister was trapped somewhere in this room, she had to find her! She had to get her out. If she could do that, then they could run away from this awful place. Even if they couldn't get far, even if Orochimaru or the shinobi of this village came after them, at least they would die together, at least they would die trying to be free.

She moved throughout the forest of glowing tanks, trying to find her sister amongst the tiny bodies. Each face was so young, so peaceful, as if they were all simply asleep. She knew exactly how it felt to be aware and yet not quite awake. To be in those tanks was to be trapped in some kind of awful dreamlike state, like purgatory on earth.

She paused when she saw a flash of white hair, a head and torso without the rest of the body. She felt horror rise in her chest and panic claw its way up her throat for the split second that she thought, "Mayuri?"

She felt like a horrible, awful person for the relief that flooded her as she looked closer and realized that the mutilated child inside the tank was not her sister. Was it so wrong, to be glad that the person suffering such a horrific fate was anyone besides Mayuri?

As she turned to move on to the next row of tanks, she thought she saw the child's eyes flutter open. When she turned back, though, he was still limp and appeared to be resting peacefully. She lingered a moment longer, pressing a hand gently to the glass like that would somehow be enough to comfort the child. There was no reaction, and eventually, she moved on to the next row of tanks.

She never found Mayuri within that room, but after that, something drove her to come back nearly every night. She wasn't sure if she was hoping that Mayuri would show up someday, or if it was because she wanted to do what she could to offer the children inside the tanks some measure of comfort. Maybe, these children stuck as she was just made her feel less lonely, less cursed with bad luck. After all, she had been freed from that limbo, hadn't she?

In the end, she decided not to think too hard on it.


Kaito seemed startled when she brought it up to him a few weeks later, when she saw him for her lessons. Usually, she would have seen him just days after Risa, but he had been busy with another project and hadn't had time for their twice-weekly sessions. He had been leaning over her, patiently explaining how even something as small as the width of a line could affect a seal, when she had asked if he knew anything about what had happened to her sister.

"Something has happened to Mayuri-chan?" he asked, his thick white eyebrows furrowed with concern. Hiroko frowned and her hand clenched tightly around the brush she used to practice her seals, ruining the rudimentary storage seal that she had been working on with a huge blotch of black ink.

"Kabuto took her away somewhere. Orochimaru ordered him to. Now, all of the medics I talk to act like they've never even heard of her. I know for a fact that she was getting lessons from most of them at one point or another. No one knows anything about where she might be or what might be happening, or if they do, they act like they don't! I don't know what the hell is going on anymore. I just know that something bad has to be happening to her!"

Her hands were shaking. Maybe at another time, she would have been more careful with her words, but she was so tired she could barely see straight. The anxiety ate away at her more and more every passing second, leaving her high strung and ready to snap. It had been more than a month since Mayuri had been taken, and she had yet to find anything. Her patience was wearing thin and her nerves were fraying, and her mind kept conjuring images of what could be happening to her sister, each more horrific than the last.

As a shinobi village, the base was anything but inactive, even in the wee hours of the morning. Eventually she got caught out of her room at night, but no one who saw her had spared her a second glance. Even at odd hours, Hiroko was still a known face around Otogakure. No one thought twice about seeing her wandering the passages, except maybe to ask about where her sister was or how Dosu was doing since she was so rarely without one or both of them.

The fact that everyone she spoke to seemed to be totally innocent in Mayuri's disappearance left her more frustrated than relieved, because that meant that she had nowhere she could turn her anger to. Kabuto hadn't shown his face since he had taken Mayuri away, and Orochimaru was reportedly out of the village again, doing whatever it was he did when he was away.

"I'm sure she's okay," Kaito was saying, his voice low and soothing. "You and your sister are both very valuable to Orochimaru-sama. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. You know that, right? Wherever she is, Mayuri-chan is going to be fine."

The world had gone grey around the edges, and in her ears were a hundred other voices, each echoing those same empty promises. Each voice assuring her that she was wrong, she was being silly, Mayuri was fine, fine, fine. There was nothing to worry about! Orochimaru knows best! She had thought that Kaito, at the very least, would be worried. She had thought she could trust him to offer a helping hand, after all his gentle smiles and kind words, the way he sometimes looked at them so warmly, like they were precious to him.

She should have known better than to trust him.

Something inside of her felt like it was breaking.

"SHUT UP!" she howled, pushing herself to her feet and whirling to face him. The chair clattered to the floor, hitting the stone with a too-loud sound that seemed to echo all around her. She could feel the ice as it gathered at her fingertips, spreading slowly up her arms and disappearing beneath the sleeves of her tunic.

Kaito had straightened up. He towered over her, but he had still moved back to put distance between them, like he was worried she was a true threat. Hiroko couldn't wrap her mind around that thought, couldn't bring her mind to form coherent thoughts at all, but something inside her seemed to purr in satisfaction at the wary look on the old man's face.

Her chakra was roiling inside her. They had stopped sealing it back when Mayuri's bones had swelled up and broken her from the inside. In the months since then, she had felt it growing inside her every day, flowing through her veins like fire and ice. Now, as she let the sleepless nights and the fury and frustrations fill and overwhelm her, she could feel it concentrate into the center of her chest.

She found that, despite the way it burned, she liked the feeling of a small sun going supernova inside her chest cavity. She had only felt like this a few times before, almost three years ago, when she had still been adjusting to this new body and these new powers. She hadn't even realized she had missed the feeling, until it was filling her up.

The world seemed like it had slowed down all around her. The ice was shimmering, hanging in the air around her, chakra giving form to her fury. She advanced on Kaito, and she could see the uncertainty in his eyes and in the way his fingertips brushed across the sun-faded seals tattooed across his forearms. Though it made that cruel little thing inside her happy to see him like that, mostly, she was hurt that he would look at her with such an expression. Did he really think that she would hurt him?

(Did he think she could hurt him? Even with how old he was, she had always been under the impression that he must be very strong. Did people fear kekkei genkai so much that they would look at a child they had known for years and think, monster, as soon as they dared to wield it?)

"Where is Mayuri?" she snarled. Her mismatched eyes were alight with her fury, glinting in the torchlight like an animal's.

"I don't know, Hiroko-chan," Kaito said, low and soothing even as his fingers rested upon the weapons inked into his arms. "Think about what you're doing right now. Would your sister want you to act like this?"

Hiroko had no more patience left. Fuck all of her planning; It hadn't done her any good so far, anyways. She met Kaito's eyes as she spat, "I don't care what Mayuri would think of me. All I care about is finding her. You can help me or you can get out of my fucking way."

"Hiroko, please. This won't end well for you or Mayuri, so just—"

She ignored him as she turned away, pushing down the prickling of hurt that threatened to pollute the anger that was fueling her powers. He called out to her as she shoved open the door, allowing a blast of cold air into the halls beyond that tiny room. She heard his footsteps behind her, moving closer as Kaito followed her out into the hall. With barely a glance, she willed the ice to form around his feet, tripping him up and then crawling over his legs to keep him in place.

"Stay out of my way. I'm going to find my sister."

And with that, she marched forwards. As she rounded a corner, entering into an adjoining passageway, she could feel the eyes of the handful of shinobi in the hall, curious and wary. She scanned over them, searching for inspiration on how to begin her forceful search. A part of her knew that the consequences for this were not going to be pretty, but she found she couldn't bring herself to care about that as her eyes fell upon a medic and an idea formed.

She moved forwards, shoving past the people who were watching. No one moved to stop her, apparently not sure how to handle the situation, as she marched up to the medic-nin and stretched up on her tiptoes to grab the front of his shirt and tug him down so he was forced to look her in the eyes. Tendrils of frost spread across the fabric of his uniform where it was bunched in her tiny fist.

"Where is Kabuto?" she demanded, watching the confusion flash across his features, grey eyes going wide and a little scared at the mention of the boy.

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me! That asshole took my sister and I want her back. Where is he?"

The medic shook his head, his brow furrowed and face pale. His eyes darted between her face and the jagged mirrors that hung in the air all around her. Even that movement seemed so slow, though, like she could track each thought that flitted through his mind and every twitch of his jaw. She knew for a fact that the world had not always moved around her in slow motion; Was this another manifestation of her kekkei genkai?

She took another chance to take in the shape of his eyes, the light brown color of his skin, and the points of his teeth. All traits of a shinobi who had originated from Kirigakure. No wonder he was so scared, since it seemed that everyone from Water Country had pretty extreme reservations about anyone with inborn abilities like hers. It made her want to roll her eyes, kinda made her want to cry, mostly made her want to stick a shard of ice straight through his neck.

Hiroko shook off the thought as soon as it entered her head, not quite sure where it had come from. She didn't want to actually hurt him. All she really wanted was answers, and to have her sister back safe and sound. Since her attempts at manipulation weren't working, all she had left was to use what little power she had to her advantage. She would have to get what she wanted either through force or through drawing enough attention to herself that someone would finally listen.

"Hiroko-chan, what do you think you're doing?"

She glanced back at the person who had spoken, a large woman with a head of messy blue hair. It took her a second to figure out where she knew this person from, but after a second, she remembered. It was one of the many people she had spoken with in the cafeteria, both before and after Mayuri had been taken. She glared at her, not sure how it was this woman knew her name.

"Unless you know where my sister is, this doesn't concern you. Stay out of it."

The woman smiled, her hands raised in a peace-keeping manner, like she was dealing with some sort of wild animal. "Hey, we're all members of this village, right? We're here to help each other out. There's no reason to be acting like this."

"I've been trying to ask for help for a month now!" Hiroko shot back, and the mirrors grew and sharpened with the angry spike of her chakra. "That hasn't worked, so...so now I—"

"Now you what? Have to scare some poor medic half to death? C'mon, Hiroko-chan. What has the poor man ever done to you?"

"I'm five," she pointed out. "If he's scared of me, that's his own damn fault." Even as she said it, though, she found her hands loosening their death grip on the front of the medic's uniform. The anger that had been fueling her was fading fast and the hopeless, directionless sorrow was rushing back in to replace it. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. "I just...I want my sister back. And...and Kabuto knows where she is! And this guy's a medic, so he'll know where Kabuto is."

"I'll help you find Kabuto-san," the woman said, her smile strained and her eyes moving in that slow-motion way between Hiroko and somewhere outside Hiroko's line of sight. It was quick enough that any other person wouldn't have noticed the way her gaze was darting about. It took her a second to figure out why she was doing it, but by then, the realization that this kunoichi was stalling for time came too late. Hiroko whirled around to face whatever threat was approaching just as Kaito's hand slammed into her side.

A searing pain spread throughout her insides, killing the sun that had gathered within her chest. She screamed as it spread through her, choking off her chakra networks and polluting every part of her body. The ice crumbled, falling noisily to the stone beneath her feet and shattering into a thousand shards and beginning to melt almost immediately.

A pair of large, sturdy arms scooped her up before she could hit the ground, legs no longer capable of supporting her weight. She felt weak and drained without her chakra, and her whole body was aching from the hastily applied seal that felt like it had been seared into her side. There were half a dozen shinobi gathered in the passageway, all of them watching as Kaito lifted her up and held her tightly. It was as though he was afraid that if she could squirm away she might try this stunt all over again, whether her chakra was sealed or not.

He wasn't wrong; She might not be able to use her ice, but she did still have the multitudes of weapons Risa had gifted her with.

"Let me go! I have to get Mayuri back!" She struggled weakly against his hold, and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as it began to really sink in how well and truly she was fucked. She was helpless, useless. The only thing she had managed to get out of this was to get her chakra sealed again, and with that, any real advantage she might have had taken away. There was only so much she could do with her senbon against an entire village of trained killers. "Kaito...please…. Please just let me go. I have to find her!"

Kaito sighed as he shifted her in his arms, pressing her close so she couldn't get away and so her face was hidden in his shoulder, muffling her cries. His hand was pressed tightly against the back of her head, keeping her firmly in place. She felt like she was suffocating, which just made her anxiety spike and her struggling become more desperate. The blue haired kunoichi's voice seemed to come from somewhere far away when she spoke.

"You gonna be alright, Kaito-san?"

Another sigh, and she could feel his chest rumble as he said, "Yeah, I'll be fine. This one's a handful, but temper tantrums are to be expected at her age."

Her furious scream was muffled, and the teeth she tried to dig into his shoulder did no good against the stiff material of his kimono top. These little reminders that he had had a family and had raised children before only served to make her feel sick to her stomach. If he had such a soft spot for kids, why wasn't he trying harder to help Mayuri?

The woman was still talking, sounding far more relaxed now that Hiroko's kekkei genkai had been neutralized.

"I know how that is. My son is always getting so upset over the littlest things. It's so much harder when they can't control themselves yet. If I had known that Yuuya's family had a kekkei genkai, I probably wouldn't have married him." She laughed, a tittering little thing that belied her size.

"Ah, yes. Well—"

"You know the only way to stop this sort of behavior is by making sure the proper punishments are handed out afterwards, right?"

Hiroko went still, her mouth going dry. She remembered all too well those times she had made Orochimaru angry enough for him to create a personal punishment, just for her. She remembered the hours stuck inside that tiny space, nothing but blackness and stone walls pressing in on all sides, unable to escape or move or breathe. She remembered the way Mayuri would ask her about it afterwards, how she refused to answer because just thinking about it made the panic attacks come back like she had never been released from that hell.

"Thank you, Rio-san. I think I can take it from here," Kaito said. He sounded stiff, like he was trying not to sound angry but wasn't quite succeeding. "Thank you for the help." And with that, he turned and marched the two of them away.

He took her back to her room and left her there with only a murmured, "I'm very disappointed in you," like that would actually make her feel guilty. He locked the door from the outside, making her wonder what the plan was for when Dosu inevitably had to come back to their room to sleep. It didn't matter. At least she wasn't locked in that tiny, dark hole. She could deal with this, and when she was free, she would just continue her search again.

In the meantime, though, she was feeling tired enough to actually close her eyes. Having all the chakra in your body displaced would do that to you. She sat on her bed and hoped that this time, she could rest without nightmares. She fell asleep to that oddly comforting ache in her bones.


A month later, she jolted awake to find Kabuto staring down at her. Though she didn't shriek, she did end up lobbing her pillow at him. It connected with a satisfying whump, though it didn't seem to faze him. His creepy smile never wavered.

"I heard you were looking for me."

"What are you doing in my room?" She sat up, glancing towards Dosu to see if he had slept through Kabuto's intrusion, too, only to find the bed empty. Her stomach dropped as she whipped her eyes back to Kabuto. "Where is Dosu?"

"He's fine," Kabuto said, infuriatingly calm, like he hadn't already snatched her sister away. "He's been called out by your sensei for some one-on-one training. I'm sure he was thrilled."

He seemed so condescending, like he found it funny or perhaps pathetic that a little boy would be excited to have that kind of attention on him. Kabuto smirked and teased and acted like he was so much better than the rest of them. It made her want to clobber him!

She didn't do anything, though. She knew she wouldn't stand a chance against Kabuto in a real fight, no matter that he was only a few years older than she appeared to be. There was a reason he was Orochimaru's right hand man, after all, and a reason that people tended to go pale and stiff whenever he was around. Despite how small he was, there was no denying that he was disproportionately powerful and that he would probably laugh while he cut you up and made you scream.

"Did you need something?" she asked, moving to stand up. She felt way too vulnerable with him looming over her like he was. The floor was cold against her bare feet, a problem she never had when her chakra wasn't sealed up. They only unsealed it during training, now. Kabuto shifted obligingly back to give her some space.

"Yes, actually. Get dressed. I have something to show you."

"You could at least take me out to dinner first," Hiroko said with a mocking smile, ignoring the mistrust she felt for this boy and the way he made her skin crawl just by watching her with those cold grey eyes. "What should I wear for our midnight escapades?"

He echoed her mocking tone and said with a smile, "Dress for the occasion."

She rolled her eyes and replied, just as sweet, "What occasion might that be?"

"A family reunion, of course."

Hiroko froze. She took in the curve of his lips and the glint of his eyes, trying to puzzle out if this was just a cruel joke or if he was serious. He was always so cruel in all the worst ways. It did seem like the kind of thing he would say, only to yank the rug out from beneath her and smile as he told her that she shouldn't be so gullible.

She wet her lips, trying to swallow around the lump that had lodged itself in her throat.

"Mayuri?" Her voice was barely a whisper. Kabuto's smile turned sharp before fading away. He gestured wordlessly towards her tiny pile of clothes, and she rushed to get dressed. It was probably a good thing that pretty much all of her clothes were practically carbon copies of each other, because otherwise, it might have taken a little longer; If she was going to see her sister again for the first time in two months, she wanted to look nice!

If she looked good on the outside, it was much easier to pretend that she was doing a good job of holding herself together. The last thing she wanted was for Mayuri to be worrying about her all over again. It would be easier to ignore the disaster area her psyche was, if she could only look the part of someone with their mind intact and their life together.

Within seconds, she was dressed and running her fingers through her long hair, tangled from sleep. She looked expectantly to Kabuto, who seemed to understand that that was his cue to lead her to her sister. He nodded, the smile still conspicuously absent from his face, and glided gracefully out the bedroom door.

The walk was silent. Questions were pressing against the insides of her skull and balancing precariously on the tip of her tongue, just begging to be asked. She bit them all back, though, because as soon as she dared to let them free, she knew she wouldn't be able to take them back if she didn't like the answers.

She had been hoping for the best for the last two months, but stubbornly unwilling to prepare for the worst. If she was going to finally be able to see Mayuri, she would allow herself a few more minutes of hope before allowing herself to believe that that hope could have been in vain. She would keep believing that her sister was alright, right up until the time she saw for herself that that was not true.

Kabuto lead her to an enormous room, shaped suspiciously like a coliseum. The stone was dark and smooth and covered in suspicious looking stains. She didn't like where this was going.

"Kabuto-san...what's going on?"

He ignored her, continuing his march onwards. Much to her surprise (and immense relief), though, he did not lead her to the center of the coliseum. Instead, she found herself going up a staircase and through a doorway that lead her into a small room near the top of the arena. There was a set of windows looking out into it, and across from the room was a balcony. From where she was standing, face pressed against the glass, she could see Orochimaru lounging on his throne. Mayuri was nowhere to be seen. She felt her mouth go dry.

"What's going on?" she repeated, her voice hoarse and rasping as the realization that something was very wrong settled inside her.

"Have a seat, Hiroko-chan," Kabuto said. His smile was back, though if she looked hard enough, Hiroko could make out the strain around the edges of it. Maybe something about this situation bothered him, too?

She sat, and the chair she had settled in seemed to be trying to swallow her whole. It was surprisingly comfortable, the cushion so plush that she felt like she was sinking into it. From its raised position, she had a perfect view of both the arena and Orochimaru's balcony. This was a spectator's seat, and that fact made her feel sick with worry. She wished that she could access her chakra again, just to feel the comforting curl of frost gathering on her fingertips. It had made her feel safer, to have a weapon available to her anytime she wanted to call upon it.

"Where is Mayuri?" she asked, her fingers curling and uncurling in her lap. Her hair was still messy, brushing her cheeks and tumbling down her back until she was almost sitting on the ends of it. She wished that she had grabbed something to tie it up with. Kabuto watched the way she fidgeted, head tilted and eyes glittering almost silver behind his glasses.

"If you cause any trouble or say anything, your sister will die," he warned, voice low. Hiroko went very still, wide eyes still trained on her lap. "If you so much as shout a warning or do anything to let Mayuri-chan know that you're here, your sister will die screaming and in pain. Do you understand?"

She could barely find the air to whisper a pained little, "yes."

Kabuto stared for another few seconds, gaze pinning her where she was. She felt like an insect beneath his scrutiny, just waiting to be crushed beneath the sole of his stupid ninja sandal. (Seriously, did they just not realize how ugly and ridiculous those things were?)

She waited for Kabuto to say something else. Surely, there was more to his cryptic warnings! Where was Mayuri? What was he expecting Hiroko to try to do? There was no more talk, though. Instead, he just turned back to the window and raised a hand, signalling something to Orochimaru. She wondered when the Otokage had gotten back, if he had ever actually been gone at all.

A door to the arena that she had not noticed before opened wide, a yawning black pit. Her mouth went dry as her sister emerged, squinting at the sudden flood of light that was far too bright to belong to the torches they were used to. It was only Kabuto's threat hanging over her head that kept her from shouting in joy, leaping to her feet and rushing down into the arena to tackle Mayuri into a hug.

It was also the only reason she looked a little closer, and took the time to notice the changes in her sister.

Mayuri's long dual-colored hair was gone, cropped short and uneven. It was grey with grime, instead of the white and black Hiroko had become used to. Her clothes looked like they were the same ones she had been wearing when she had been taken away, though they were so stained and torn that it was hard to tell. Even with the distance between them, Hiroko could see how much weight Mayuri had lost in the time she had been gone. Her cheeks were hollow, and through a tear in her top it was easy to see the jutting outline of each of her ribs, as well as the strange press of bones where they did not belong, pressing taut against waxy skin like they wanted nothing more than to break through it.

Even with all that, though, the most horrific change she could find was in her eyes. They were dull, like all the joy and all the curiosity and love that Mayuri held for life had been stolen from her. They were empty, like the hopes, sorrows, fears, and personality had all been sucked from her tiny body until not even the withered husk of a soul remained. Even her constant fidgeting seemed to be gone.

Mayuri stood in the middle of the arena, still as any corpse and seemingly waiting for something. Hiroko could feel Kabuto's eyes on her, waiting for her to try something to let her sister know she was here, but Hiroko felt like she had been frozen. She couldn't seem to find the breath needed to shout or the will to move.

She gasped as another door opened and a child emerged from the darkness. Mayuri didn't so much as tense. She just stood, face empty and back straight, tracking the other child's movements like a predator.

They met in the middle of the arena, eyeing each other. The newcomer looked wary as she faced off against Mayuri, despite being a good head taller. The fabric of Mayuri's top rustled and bulged as the bones shifted beneath her skin, and the girl looked like she was trying and failing not to cringe away.

A moment passed, and the two children in the arena became eerily still. Hiroko found herself holding her breath, eyes riveted on the scene before her, trying to wrap her head around what was happening. Hadn't she seen something like this play out before? Hadn't Mayuri refused to really hurt her opponent then? What was Orochimaru planning?

Then, he smiled and hissed, "begin," and it became clear.

Both girls lunged forwards, one with a bone chilling battle cry, the other silent as the grave. Mayuri's opponent reared back, a kunai that Hiroko was certain hadn't been there before appearing in her hand like it had been summoned from thin air. Mayuri hesitated at its appearance, just for a split second, but that was enough.

Hiroko muffled her cry behind her hands, eyes enormous as the girl shoved her kunai into Mayuri's gut. It found purchase just below her bellybutton, and in one smooth motion, she jerked upwards, all the way to Mayuri's sternum. Blood bloomed across the front of her dirty tunic. The girl grimaced, shoving forward, trying to drive the kunai further into Mayuri's body like gutting her just hadn't been good enough.

Hiroko jumped to her feet, ready to race down and rescue her sister herself. Kabuto was here, and he was talented enough that he could heal Mayuri if Hiroko could just get that girl away from her. Her hands were shaking, adrenaline taking over so fast that she couldn't even find the will to scream.

Her blind rush to get to the door was stopped as Kabuto caught hold of her, one hand wrapped tightly around her torso, pulling her flush against him. The other hand went to cover her mouth so she couldn't scream, pressed tight enough that she couldn't even open her mouth to sink her teeth into his palm. She struggled against him as he turned to face the window overlooking the arena, forcing her to watch her sister be eviscerated.

"Just wait," he whispered, his breath cool against the side of her neck. "Watch."

She didn't want to. But she couldn't seem to look away as Mayuri went still, staring wide eyed down at the kunai like she was trying to process what had happened. Hiroko sobbed, the sound muffled by Kabuto's hold.

Then, Mayuri's gaze jerked up to look her opponent in the eye. She cocked her head to the side, the move as animalistic as it was childlike. Hiroko watched, frozen with wonder as Mayuri darted forwards, her lips moving against the girl's cheek as she whispered something no one else was privy to. The girl before her stumbled back, the confusion and the fear evident on her face.

It was over in the blink of an eye. The girl was thrown back, her scream cut short as her head hit the stone floor. There were bones embedded shallowly in her chest from where Mayuri had been pressed so close and bones shoved through her arms like pikes, making it impossible for her to close her hands around her weapons. Blood was pooling around her, staining her blonde hair red and soaking into her clothes.

Mayuri stood over her, fingers wandering across the split edges of her skin. Hiroko could see plated bone in the gap between the two pieces of her stomach, moving slightly with each breath she took. Mayuri's fingers brushed over the bones that had formed beneath her skin, now exposed to the open air, and her brow furrowed like this was just a minor inconvenience.

"Watch," Kabuto repeated in her ear, pulling her tighter against him, pressing his hand so hard over her mouth she was going to bruise. She whimpered.

"Do you want to kill your opponent?" Orochimaru's voice echoed throughout the empty space hanging above their heads, loud despite how low and soft he spoke.

Hiroko kept her eyes trained on Mayuri. Her sister fingered the ragged edges of her skin, cleaved in two in what would have certainly been a killing blow. Hiroko saw the exposed bones flex as Mayuri drew a deep breath. When she shook her head no, Hiroko felt pride rise to fill her chest at her sister's strength, even when faced with something as awful as this.

But Orochimaru wasn't done. His smile widened, sharp and dangerous, as he said, "Will you follow my orders, my dear?"

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama." Mayuri's voice was a soft, rasping thing. She was barely audible despite the way that the arena had been designed to amplify every little sound.

Orochimaru's eyes flickered up, staring straight into the room adjacent his balcony. He locked eyes with Hiroko, and she watched the way his lips curled and his eyes glinted, satisfied and amused in a way that made her stomach lurch. He didn't break eye contact as he commanded, "Kill her."

Hiroko couldn't even scream as the bone was driven through the girl's eye. First one, then the other. Then it was shoved into her mouth and the sound of the skull cracking, of the stone beneath the girl's head being broken, echoed throughout the cavern. All Hiroko could do was stare, shocked into numbness, unable to believe what she was seeing.

And Mayuri just stood there. Staring. Waiting. Still and calm as blood formed a puddle beneath her feet.

There was silence for a long moment, the world holding its breath. Hiroko felt hollow with shock. Her heart was pounding away inside the emptiness of her chest, blood beating in her ears like war drums. She was lost, not sure what to do or how to handle what she had seen.

"You've done well," Orochimaru said. "So well, in fact, that I've decided to allow you a gift, just as promised." He rose from his throne, robes flowing out behind him as he made his way towards the exit. He looked over his shoulder at them, eyes narrowed and his smile a slimy little thing. "Play nicely, girls."

Then he was gone once again. Kabuto released his hold on Hiroko, and did not catch her as she stumbled and fell. She could feel her stomach churning, bile rising in her throat and coating her tongue. Under Kabuto's scrutinizing gaze, she turned onto her side and wretched, half-digested food splattering all over the floor, over and over again, until she was left dry heaving.

Kabuto waited patiently for her to be finished, dragging the back of her hand across her mouth and ignoring the snot and tears covering her face, before he said, "The door into the arena is right there. I'll leave it up to you whether you go down or not." He paused at the exit, turning back to watch her with a strange expression. The light reflected off the lens of his glasses, obscuring his eyes. "Happy birthday, Hiroko-chan."

He left her there, curled over her own vomit and sobbing like a child. Like a six year old child, specifically. She hadn't even realized that the day was coming up. Some broken, hysterical part of her wanted to laugh, because this was one hell of a birthday gift.

She stayed like that a moment longer, trying to catch her breath and stop her tears. He had told her it was up to her, but there really was no choice. Pushing herself to her feet and trying to ignore the way her knees wobbled like a newborn fawn's, Hiroko forced herself to go through the door and down the stairs.

When she emerged into the open light, Mayuri turned to look at her. Hiroko froze, and bile rose in her throat all over again, because the emptiness on Mayuri's face was still the most ominous thing she had ever seen. She swallowed it down and ignored the shaking in her limbs and the way her heart was trying to claw its way out of her chest. She pretended not to see the dead girl, choosing instead to keep her focus on Mayuri alone.

(She hadn't known that death had a smell.)

"Yuri?" she whispered. "Yuri, it's me. I'm here."

Mayuri took a step back. Her feet squished in the blood. She shook her head, her eyes going wide with dawning horror.

"No," she gasped. "He promised. He promised you wouldn't have to do this!"

"Hey, hey." Hiroko raised her hands, fingers splayed wide. "It's okay. I'm here now. I'm fine." Her eyes flickered to the mutilated body at her sister's feet. "Come here, Yuri. Come over here. I'm here."

"You're here," Mayuri repeated, slow, like she was tasting the words. "You're safe." She took a step forwards, then another. Her foot brushed the girl's hand, blood already congealing beneath her fingernails and in the creases of her palm. Mayuri didn't even pause to spare a glance towards the child she had killed and Hiroko tried to pretend she didn't notice. She tried to pretend like she wasn't shaking so hard she felt like she might collapse at any second. "You're here," Mayuri said, and she froze just a step away.

It was the look on her face that had Hiroko rushing forward, dismay momentarily forgotten. The look on Mayuri's face was that of a wounded animal, of someone so lost and hurt that they would just keep running away forever because they didn't know what home was anymore. It was easy to forget her own fears, her horror and disgust, in the face of Mayuri disappearing from her once again.

She threw her arms around Mayuri, pulling her tight. She ignored the way Mayuri went rigid, the way that bones shifted and sharpened beneath her skin, in the same way she was ignoring the dead child just a few meters away. If she thought about it too hard right now, she was going to lose her mind. She was going to start screaming and never, ever stop.

"No," Mayuri moaned, low and hurt. "You weren't supposed to see. You weren't supposed to ever know…." She trailed off, her breath catching in her throat. She was shaking her head slowly, face rubbing roughly against Hiroko's shoulder. What remained of her hair was greasy and matted, tickling against Hiroko's neck as her body trembled and shook. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

She had slipped into english, the words heavy on her tongue. There was something so horribly intimate about it, this language that only they two in this entire world could share. It made something inside Hiroko feel broken, and made this situation feel far too real.

She closed her eyes and held her breath, and still she could taste the blood on her tongue every time she opened her mouth to speak.

"This isn't you," she managed, pulling her sister's shaking form closer and ignoring the tacky warmth of blood that soaked into the front of her tunic. Already the thought of looking nice for when she got to see Mayuri again seemed faded and distant, like it had happened a thousand years ago. It was nothing but a cruel irony, like everything in this world. She wet her lips before whispering, "You didn't choose this, Mayuri. This isn't on you."

Her sister made a low keening noise. Then, suddenly, she was shoving against Hiroko's chest, freeing herself from her grip. Mayuri stumbled backwards, tripping over her own feet and crashing to the ground. Her torn top had slipped further open, revealing skin that was covered in half healed scars, the product of someone who was still learning being forced to heal themselves over and over again. The skin of her stomach tore further with the sudden movement, and Hiroko had to fight back the bile that rose in her aching throat all over again as blood oozed across the exposed, unnatural bone.

"It was me," she whispered. "It was all me, Hiro. All of it."

"What?"

Mayuri stared up at her with wide, haunted eyes. Her hands were held out before her, palms up. Blood glistened on her skin, sickeningly vivid in the too-bright lights of the arena. She seemed to be waiting for something: some accusation or absolution.

Hiroko didn't know what to do. She knew that for Mayuri, she would be willing to do far worse than look the other way. If it took hiding away every body her sister would leave in her wake past, present, and future, she knew she would do it. Then, she would be sure to tell Mayuri every single day that whatever she did, it was alright. Even if Mayuri would never be the same after, as long as she had her sister back, it didn't matter if a whole river of blood was left in their wake.

But Hiroko didn't know how she could fix it right now. She didn't know how to make the body of that little girl disappear, or how to make the pain in Mayuri's eyes go away. As she stood there, covered in the blood of both her sister and the child her sister had killed, she had never felt so helpless.

She took a slow step forward, watching the emotions that flickered across Mayuri's face as she did. It was like parts of her sister were beginning to return, now that the battle was over and Orochimaru and her opponent were both gone. Mayuri was gazing back, her eyes huge in her sallow face, until Hiroko felt a little bit like she could fall into the endless wells of green. As she drew closer and knelt down, Mayuri at last flinched away, releasing Hiroko from her hold.

"Don't!" she shrieked, shrinking in on herself. Hiroko paused, waiting for more. Mayuri licked her lips, not seeming to notice the blood on her face. "Don't touch me. I'm not...I'm not clean."

She could feel her heart shattering like ice within her chest. For the first time, Hiroko thought that it might have been better for both of them if she had just killed that boy when Orochimaru told her to. Now, she had her sister's blood on her hands. Neither of them were clean anymore.

She moved closer and captured Mayuri's hands between her own. She waited until Mayuri's feeble attempts to pull away had calmed, waited until they could both breathe properly. She made sure she could talk without sobbing, that she could get through this without a single tear. Then she looked her sister in the eyes and said, low and stern, "I found you. I'm not going to let you go. I love you, no matter what you've done. Do you hear me? I love you."

Mayuri's eyes were like galaxies, sucking in the light around them like black holes and reflecting it back a thousandfold, brighter than any sun.

The first few tears were accompanied by silence as they welled in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. She nodded. Forced a smile.

"I didn't want to die," Mayuri confided, voice hushed like her words were a secret. Like wanting to live was something to be ashamed of.

The sound started low in her throat, rising in pitch and volume into a cry, then a scream, then an awful wailing like nothing Hiroko had ever heard before. It seemed to shake the stone around them and send ripples through the puddles of blood on the floor. She was shocked that the base wasn't crumbling to pieces around them.

She gathered her sister into her arms, holding her close as Mayuri at last allowed herself to release the years of grief that had been hidden away within her soul. She made soft, mindless sounds of comfort. Words of love and acceptance.

All the while, her mind was spinning. Her eyes stayed dry.


Hours later found Hiroko leaning against Dosu, her knees unable to hold her up anymore. Mayuri had been taken away again, and no matter how hard she fought or how much she screamed, Hiroko hadn't been able to do anything at all to stop it. Mayuri had just allowed it to happen, resignation apparent in the way she bowed her head and let her eyes go empty and distant.

Dosu ran clumsy fingers through Hiroko's hair, and the small sounds he made were easily distinguishable as ones of comfort despite the roughness of his voice. It did nothing to make her feel any better.

All she could see were Mayuri's trembling hands and the blood beneath her fingernails. She couldn't hear anything but the echoes of her sister's sobs, broken, like nothing she'd ever heard before. The haunted, hunted expression in Mayuri's eyes was going to follow her into her nightmares.

Hiroko pulled Dosu closer, burying her face in his chest. Her fingers curled in the fabric of his too-big shirt, like she was terrified that if she loosened her grip, he would be torn away, too.

"Why—" she cut herself off as a sob ripped through her, hard enough that her whole body shook with its force.

She shook her head violently as Dosu shushed her, pulling her in tighter. She was trembling, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as her breaths escaped her lungs in too-quick gasps. She wanted to shove him away, but couldn't bear that thought of not having him close, either.

"It's always her," she managed through her sobs. She felt Dosu go still. "Why is it always her?"

"Hiro, it's not—"

"She doesn't deserve any of this shit! Why is it always her that has to suffer?"

She felt more than heard as Dosu sighed, his chest rising and falling beneath her cheek. His fingers began moving again, careful and slow as they combed through the knots in her hair. She could feel the exhaustion from the past two months rising to meet her, crashing over her all at once as her sobs slowly started to abate.

"I'm sorry," Dosu said just as her eyes began to flutter shut. She stiffened immediately, because there was something strange about his voice. "Mayuri doesn't deserve any of this, but there's...there's nothing we can do, you know? Maybe it's for the best. Adults know better than us about training, don't they? And killing...death…. It's all a part of becoming a shinobi, right?"

Hiroko pushed him away so fast that they both went sprawling. Dosu was watching her with wide eyes, confusion and his own kind of grief apparent in every minute movement and expression. Hiroko couldn't bring herself to care that he was handling his hurt in his own way.

"You don't get to say that," she snarled, pushing herself to her feet, her hands balled into tight fists. Dosu eyed her warily as he shifted into a crouch. "You didn't see her, Dosu. Whatever they're doing to her, it's not fucking training."

"Hiroko, I don't know what—"

"If you don't know, then don't try to justify it!"

She ignored his clumsy attempts at an apology as she spun on her heel and stormed from the room. An idea had been forming, remnants of a conversation between sisters in the dark that felt so long ago swirling within her mind. It was stupid. It was impossible.

But it was all she could think to do, without betraying Mayuri's sacrifice by asking to trade places with her.


Requesting an audience with Orochimaru felt much like being a mouse willingly striding into the snake's jaws. He watched her, curious and amused, smiling in a way that made her heart feel tight within her chest. It was like his venom was already running through her veins.

She saw that amusement change to something sharper, curiosity to something more refined, as she made her request. He leaned forward, fingers steepling in his lap and his tongue darting out to moisten his lips. It reminded her of a slug, thick and wet and ugly. She very resolutely did not shudder.

"An interesting proposition. You could be quite useful," he hummed, his rasping voice almost musical with his piqued interest. "And your timing is impeccable."

She had no idea what that could possibly mean. She stayed silent, but her confusion must have shown on her face. Orochimaru smiled, his eyes catching the torchlight and turning to molten gold.

With his perfect hair, elegant features, and intense eyes, it was easy to see why the people of this village were so enraptured by him. He looked beautiful beyond the measure of any human standard, something otherworldly and entrancing. He was as alluring as he was deadly, and most of the adults probably weren't sure whether the deciding factor of them coming to Otogakure was because of the promise of a better life, or because they fell in love with the Otokage as first sight.

Hiroko wondered how it was that so many of them stayed loyal even after they saw the monster beneath Orochimaru's ethereal guise. He was charming as any snake, but she doubted that that alone would be enough to allow anyone to fully overlook what happened in the darker parts of this village. She wasn't looking forward to having her teenage hormones back; They made people do stupid shit for the sake of a pretty face.

"Come, my child." He stood, gliding close and offering her a hand. His smile was as oily as ever, yet she still couldn't help but feel warmed by it being directed solely at her. She hated herself for it. "We will have much walking to do."

"Wait!"

He arched one shapely eyebrow in a silent question and she wondered briefly if he got them done, and if so, whether she could get hers done as well. (Fuck, she needed to sleep.) Hiroko took a breath and met his eye, trying to channel the authoritative tone Mayuri always used when she was subtly ordering others around during their D-Ranks.

"Mayuri has to be freed. She has to come, too."

His eyes burned as he turned away, withdrawing his offered hand. There was a sharp little smile, the barest hint of teeth, as he said, "If the rumors I've heard are correct, she will be freed. Her abilities may have just become far rarer than ever before."

Hiroko watched him walk away, and while he never looked harried or stressed, she did note that he was moving a fair bit faster than normal. She frowned, wondering what that could possibly mean. There was no time to think too much on it, though, because Orochimaru was already out the door and Hiroko had to run to catch up to him.

They walked together through the halls, Hiroko almost jogging to keep up. Whatever was happening was unusual enough to have garnered Orochimaru's attention, and valuable or interesting enough to have him hurrying. Whatever it was, it had to be big.

Her brow creased in confusion as they entered into a passageway that she had never been in before. It had been hidden, tucked away into a crevice in the wall where shadows played over it just so, making the eye slide over it. She wanted desperately to ask him what the hell they were doing, but something stilled her tongue.

She followed silently along behind him, her uncertainty and anxiety mounting with each step as she was left wondering where, exactly, he was taking her. It was probably stupid of her to have allowed herself to follow without a word of protest. She knew she could do nothing to take it back now, though.

The passageway stretched on and on, seemingly into forever. For the first few moment of walking, Hiroko found herself craning around to see every bit of it, but after a while she stopped, realizing that it never seemed to change appearances. The smell of the tunnel, though, was an entirely different story.

It was subtle at first. Barely noticeable at all. But the air was becoming warmer and fresher. It didn't have the slightly stale taste of air that had been recycled over and over again, forced through vents into an underground ninja hideout.

Then came the moisture, condensation dripping down walls and onto the sparsely placed torches, making them sizzle and smoke. The smell of rain hit her, hanging heavy in the back of her throat. The nostalgia that came with it was almost enough to blow her over.

It wasn't until she saw the light from up ahead, pure and steady and bright enough to hurt her eyes, that it hit her what was going on.

For the first time since she had woken up in Otogakure, she was going outside.

But she was going without Mayuri.


HOLY WORDCOUNT, BATMAN! This is almost 15,000 words, more than three times longer than my usual updates. I might cry. But here you are! Hope it didn't disappoint. This is an extra special thanks to everyone who took the time to comment after my little bitchfit last author's note. Lol. Thank you so much everyone for helping to inspire me by leaving such wonderful and often thought-provoking reviews.

Thank you to everyone who reads this. Thank you to everyone who follows and favorites. You all mean the world to me. 3

Here's a friendly reminder that I'm looking for a beta or two! Basically, I need someone who doesn't mind spoilers so much that I could toss ideas around with, who can read over what I've got as I'm writing and might be willing to offer feedback. Also, someone who's good with grammar, because eehhhh. I'm not. These positions don't necessarily have to be filled by the same person. Lol. Just let me know in a PM or comment if you're interested!

To answer some questions left by a guest!

1- Mayuri is the elder sister, Hiroko is the younger. In their previous lives, Mayuri is Avery, Hiroko is Elle.

2- Mayuri died first and is also the one who knew more about the Naruto verse, although she never finished the series. Hiroko knew it only in passing and from watching the show on tv when she was younger.

3- About Kabuto and why he is able to be in the village so often, it's because I sort of headcanon that his whole team was in on the double agent ruse. In the anime during the chunin exam arcs, we see that none of them are particularly nice people and don't seem bothered by some of the shadier things that go down. So I figure that in order to keep their cover while also maintaining their position/responsibilities in Oto, they probably take on fake C-Rank missions. While they're supposedly off escorting a merchant or playing guard for someone, they're actually in Oto doing their thing. There might be some suspicion back in Konoha, but there's no proof of anything. They bring back the proper pay, and all their reports and stories line up perfectly. Plus they're just a team of Genin so they tend to get overlooked anyways. And that's my excuse for why Kabuto is in the village so often! Ta-da!

And now, some personal life updates! I'm officially moved out of my grandma's place and back home. It's nice to be back, though sometimes it's a struggle being with so many people all of a sudden. I've found a job that I'm really loving so far! However, it is time consuming and extremely stressful, and kind of dangerous sometimes. I saw my supervisor get a chunk of her hair ripped out the other night by an angry client. Not fun. So basically what I'm saying is that I'm going to try to be writing more now that I'm home, but work might get in the way.

If you read this far, you deserve a reward to be honest. This author's note is practically as long as the chapter.

Next time, you'll get to see Mayuri's side of the story! I hope you're looking forward to the pain! :)