Chapter 8

Rose knew that she should probably stop pacing. She was wearing a circular groove into the floor of her room, and while she was sure the Crystal Gems' Bismuth could easily repair it, she didn't want to impose on them just because she couldn't keep her own nerves in check. She had been pacing back and forth for the last few hours. Though she had tried to keep herself preoccupied with other things, like spending the day with Steven, she had found herself completely unable to stop thinking about Sapphire. Now, Steven had been called away to deal with some sort of business, and she'd been left entirely alone with her thoughts. She knew her former comrade needed some space to think about what had happened at the arcade, but knowing that didn't make her worry any less. She knew from experience that sulking in solitude wasn't all that helpful, no matter how attractive a prospect it seemed.

She was about to resume her pacing, despite her every intention to the contrary, when she heard a knock on the door. In her brief confusion, she simply stared at the door for a moment. No-one had ever knocked on her door before; even Steven had been respectful enough not to seek her out when she was in her private space. Had someone come looking for her? Or were they looking for any one of the hundreds of other Gems whose rooms were all accessible via the same magic door? How did that work anyway? Was this person knocking on every door at once, or could the temple tell who they were looking for? Before she could explore this line of questioning further, the knocking became more intense. Deciding that if no one else was answering she might as well do it herself, she swung open her door, and found herself staring down once again into Sapphire's face.

"Hello Rose" said Sapphire with a tangible hint of nervousness behind her level tone. "Are you… doing anything tonight?"

"I, uh….." Rose trailed off in an undignified manner. Internally she admonished herself for acting in such a way. She had been thinking about what she would say to Sapphire the next time they saw each other for hours; how was she speechless now?!

"It's just…" Sapphire interjected into the dead air, "I've done some thinking, and talked things out with a friend, and I believe I am less troubled than I was this morning. I would be eager to pick up where we left off… if that's alright with you."

Rose's dumbfounded face masked the explosion of joy that was occurring inside her. "Uh…. Yes. Yes! I'd love that!" she finally managed to blurt out. "Where would you like to go?"

"Come" said Sapphire, her tone slightly more at ease now that her offer had been accepted. "I'll show you."

The pair left the beach house and walked along the coast towards the city, until they were able to turn inland and begin climbing the hill which led to the lighthouse. It was already late evening, and the last bands of light from the setting sun were beginning to fall below the horizon. All the way, Rose regarded Sapphire curiously as they walked. Just what 'friend' had Sapphire spoken to? Rose couldn't think of anyone, human or Gem, to whom Sapphire would have ascribed that term; much less anyone she would share her secret with. Garnet perhaps? Sapphire and the fusion had been talking a lot lately. Even then though, it seemed an uncharacteristically familiar term coming from Sapphire. Regardless, if whoever it was had helped Sapphire come to terms with her condition, then Rose was happy.

After a short walk up the hill, during which Rose had to walk unnaturally slowly to stay in pace with Sapphire's tiny strides, the pair made it to the edge of the cliff above the temple. Sapphire set herself down as close to the edge as felt safe, and lay on her back in the grass. "Is this the place?" Rose asked with as little incredulity as she could manage. She hadn't been sure where Sapphire had been leading her, but she had been expecting something a little more involved than a field. Still, she wasn't about to complain; the fact that Sapphire was spending time with her at all still felt like more than she deserved.

"Yes" replied Sapphire as she lay looking up at the sky. "This is my favourite place in Beach City. I come here when I need to think, or when I just want my future vision to be a bit clearer. Feel free to have a seat."

"Oh, ok" replied Rose sheepishly, gently sitting herself down next to Sapphire. After a few moments of awkward silence, Rose spoke up again. "So… what do you normally think about when you're up here?"

Unseen by Rose in the low light, Sapphire tensed slightly. Truthfully, most of her nights looking up at the sky had been spent mainly thinking about Rose; about both the good and bad parts of their time together. Not wanting to broach that particular topic though, she chose to simply reply "I usually just watch the stars. Their movements are very predictable. It's… comforting for me."

"Oh" replied Rose empathetically. "I suppose it would be." Another awkward pause followed, and after a few moments Sapphire became exasperated enough to overcome a portion of her own nervousness. "Oh for goodness' sake Rose, lie down" she said in a tone which, had she been able, would have been accompanied by an eye roll. "I wouldn't have asked you to come with me if I didn't want you here." Rose felt her face heat up, and was grateful that the cover of darkness was masking her obvious blush. Wordlessly, she lay back, shuffling down a little so that her head was level with Sapphire's. She was easily three times Sapphire's height, so her legs extended almost to the edge of the cliff. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to keep her gaze on the stars as much as possible. Every once in a while though, her eyes would flit back to Sapphire and a new wave of uncertainty and embarrassment would wash over her. If she had had a heart, she was certain it would have been pounding. Fortunately she had no need of such a thing, so she was spared at least that particular discomfort.

While Sapphire was the most prominent thing on her mind, Rose had to admit that the view was indeed quite pleasant from up on the cliff. She had spent most of her nights on Earth sequestered in her room since her return, and all her time on Earth before that had been spent with her attention solely on her duties. She had never really looked at the stars before. Oh, she'd looked at them from space of course; she remembered well the hours she spent staring out of the viewing port of the Human Zoo, but she had been so preoccupied by the hatred she felt towards Earth that she had never paid the beauty of the cosmos much mind. Besides, the stars looked less impressive from space; there was something about the way they twinkled when their light was filtered through a planet's atmosphere that was particularly pleasing to the eye.

Rose was snapped out of her stargazing by the sensation of a tiny, cold hand gripping onto one of her fingers. Her head snapped round to face Sapphire, who despite her grip was still looking up at the sky. Rose was considering what to say when something about the situation struck her. Sapphire's hand wasn't just cold; it was really cold. Gems didn't feel temperature anywhere near as much as humans, so it was causing her no discomfort, but Rose could tell that this was more than Sapphire's usual cool touch. Glancing down at her hand, she could see the moonlight glinting off the tiny ice crystals which were beginning to crawl up her finger, and feel the gentle trembling of the small blue Gem's hand as it clung to hers. "Sapphire…" Rose asked with gentle hint of concern "are you… scared?"

Sapphire considered what to say for a moment. She had wanted to spare Rose's feelings; to make the night less awkward for both of them, but it was clear now that if they were ever going to get anywhere, everything needed to be out in the open. Taking a deep breath to steel herself, she turned to look Rose in the eyes. "Yes… yes I suppose I am scared." Seeing the hurt look on Rose's face, she quickly added "Don't take this the wrong way; I'm glad we're doing this, and I want you to be here. It's just… those 'flashes' I talked about; they haven't gone away. Being around you brings those memories back to the surface, especially when we… when we actually touch." As Rose's expression turned from one of pain to one of solemn understanding, Sapphire took on a more confident tone and turned her gaze back to the sky. "But I don't want it to be that way forever; I want to be comfortable holding your hand again" she continued. "That's part of the reason I wanted us to come up here. I need to get used to being close to you again; to actually touching you. If I can't do that…." She chose to let that sentence go without a conclusion. "Look, it's going to take me a while until I'm completely comfortable again, but I want to make it work. I hope you don't think that how I'm acting means that I don't think you've changed."

Rose fought to keep her composure as tears streamed down her face, glinting in the moonlight. The fact that Sapphire was putting herself through so much stress to spend time with her, after all she had done, was almost too much to bear. She felt wholly unworthy of the effort, but she couldn't deny how happy it made her, no matter how much guilt that happiness was tinged with. After taking a moment to compose herself, she gently squeezed Sapphire's hand in a manner that she hoped would be comforting rather than intimidating, and replied "I know, and I'm really grateful that you're doing all this. You'd be well within your rights to never speak to me again after what I did, but here you are. So as far as I'm concerned, you can take as long as you need; the fact that you're here at all is enough for me."

Sapphire smiled in response, her tense form relaxing ever so slightly. While her body was still trembling, it was now as much out of exhilaration as it was fear. The pair lay hand-in-hand on the grass for the rest of the night, watching the stars make their transit across the sky. Their predictable movements helped to calm Sapphire's nerves, and keep her future vision working where the unpredictability of recent events would otherwise have blinded her. Whenever one of her memory flashes threatened to surface, she distracted herself by cataloguing the constellations. Every once in a while, contact with Rose became too much for her, and she released the Quartz's hand, but always, after taking some time to compose herself, she would reach out and grab it again. By the time dawn broke and the stars started to fade from view, Sapphire wasn't trembling at all. As she glanced around, she noted that her vision was still unimpaired. She was starting to be able to envision a future which she and Rose could build together; one that had been wholly invisible just a few short days ago.

"I'm so glad we did this" said Rose, staring up at the brightening sky. Her eyes were heavily lidded, though not from tiredness; Gems had no need of sleep after all; but rather from the relaxation of having a massive emotional weight finally lifted from her. "So am I" Sapphire concurred, basking in the feeling of seeing Rose so at ease. Even before their falling out, she had never seen Rose like this. Their time in Facet 31, while fulfilling, had consisted of one battle after another, and even in the downtime between altercations, Rose had always been contemplating the next. Seeing her truly at peace, even for a moment, was a sight that had previously been relegated to the wildest flights of fancy of Sapphire's future vision. For a final few moments, the two lay side-by-side in comfortable silence, before Rose finally sat up. "Well" said the Quartz, stretching to wake her limbs up "I should probably be getting back to the house; Steven's probably wondering where I am."

"Yes, you're probably right" replied Sapphire, regretful that the night was over, but also eager for some time alone to de-stress. "We should do this again soon though."

"Agreed" said Rose with a smile that sent a warm blush across Sapphire's face. There was no darkness to hide it now, but neither of them cared. As they prepared to go their separate ways for the day, they took one last look at their intertwined hands. There was no ice on them at all.