Hi guys and Happy Thanksgiving! Ok, before we start, I just want to say I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE! It's been what, just over or under a month? I've been insanely busy with school work, projecs, tests, essays, clubs, and so many other things! Also, this chapter...it was hard for me to write. I'll explain at the end. Enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Moratal Instruments or the characters. That belongs to Cassandra Clare.


Chapter 9: True Fears, True Emotions, True Pain

While they ate, for quite some time they sat in awkward silence, none of them knowing what to do. Aside from them, Alyssa and Lady Hannah sat at the table, leaving Kiara's chair empty. For the longest time, none of them knew what to do to break the ice, as Alyssa kept glancing around and blushing while Lady Hannah remained impassive. Luckily, Simon was easily able to ease the tension. He began to ask questions about the werecats, their culture, how they came to be, what sort of abilities they had, etc. With each question, Alyssa looked less and less nervous while answering and lady Hannah gained some emotion other than anger or annoyance.

By the time they had finished lunch, Alyssa and Lady Hannah had given Simon so much information that it made their heads spin, and yet Simon kept asking more questions. Izzy paid attention as well, but was more focused on the weapons that Lady Hannah was telling her about. Jace and Clary were also chiming into the conversation as it went on. The only two that really didn't say anything were Magnus and Alec. They still had to discuss Max and Rafael with Kiara. Suddenly, Lady Hannah stood and excused herself, saying that she should go check on Kiara. After a few more minutes of talking, Magnus and Alec excused themselves as well to go and find her.

They tried to search for their room, but ended up hopelessly lost in a grand, empty room with huge chandeliers and beautifully crafted stain-glass windows. It was there that they were able to find a maid to assist them.

"Excuse me," Magnus said to the man in a butler's uniform. The man turned, his blue eyes striking against his tan skin. "Do you know where we could find Queen Kiara?"

"The last time I saw her majesty she was on her way to the training room from the conference hall," the man replied with what seemed to be an Indian accent. "I can show you the way, if you need assistance."

"Thank you," Alec replied. The man nodded wordlessly and left the room, the couple following close behind. They wordlessly followed the butler until he opened a set of double doors, and, without bothering to check if they needed anything else, he walked away.

The two of them stood frozen in the entryway to the training room. It was very large and modern, with weightlifting and treadmills and medicine balls. But there were also practice fighting dummies, hanging targets for projectile weapons, and bare mats with weapons lined on the walls beside them. Also, on the far end of the room, was a metal floor with large holes in the circle pattern. Very odd looking. Many targets were impaled with throwing stars and knives, the bench weights were loaded up to a hundred pounds on each side, and there was one dummy that was split in half, the top haphazardly strewn the floor a few feet behind its lower half. But the decor wasn't the reason their jaws dropped.

In front of them, suspended about ten feet in the air, doing upside down sit-ups, was Kiara. She was dressed in a black sports bra and workout jeggings that hugged her legs tightly. Her feet were bare, and her hair was pulled into a ponytail, which flopped towards the ground. As she curled up, her naval-less stomach muscles clenched, revealing a six pack that was less noticeable when she was relaxed. The rest of her was revealed to be incredibly toned as well, not overly so, but enough to make you nervous if she punched you. For a few moments, the two of them just stared at her.

"Staring is considered rude in many cultures," Kiara said, not opening her eyes as she straightened out, letting her arms drop and dangle bellow her head. "Are you coming in or not?"

"May we come in?" Alec asked. Kiara nodded her head as she relaxed, allowing her body to go lifeless. A voice from the corner commanded "twenty more". The two of them turned and saw Lady Hannah on the other side of the room, incessantly scribbling away on a little desk. Kiara sighed dramatically, but began again, her stomach muscles curling and beads of sweat rolling off her skin.

"What can I do for you guys?" she grunted between reps. Magnus silently took his boyfriend's hand, whether to reassure himself or his boyfriend, he wasn't sure. Alec squeezed it back, and Magnus noted the slight, almost nonexistent tremble in his grip.

"We needed to discuss something else with you," Alec said. Kiara has finished her set and was now dangling loosely from the suspended bar, eyes trained on the couple.

"If it's about what the scouts have recovered, then you'll have to wait a bit. They need a little time to finalize what they found was what they thought."

"It's not that," Magnus replies. Kiara glances curiously at him, asking what he means. For a minute, the two of them remain silent, unsure of how to ask what they needed. On her bar, Kiara patiently waited, though she did gesture with her hands to "get on with it". Alec finally took a deep breath and decided to just be blunt, like usual.

"Magnus and I have sons who are staying with a friend," Alec explained, somewhat slowly. "If it's not too much trouble, could we bring them here while we stay? We told them if we didn't contact them after a certain time, then our friend who's watching her should look for us. I assume you don't want anyone else trying to find your people right now…So…" Alec trailed off as Kiara slowly held up her hand to stop him from talking. The room was tense, Alec's question hanging in the air. Magnus squeezed Alec's hand tightly, unsure if he was trying to calm himself or Alec. Slowly, Kiara curled up, slipped her legs off the bar, and flipped with cat-like grace (no pun intended) onto the floor, facing away from them. The couple stood like statues as they waited for her. After a moment, she took a deep breath.

"Let me get this straight…" Kiara trailed off, her voice ominously calm. It felt like forever until she spoke again, the tension building up so much even Lady Hannah's impassive façade slipped and she began to look a bit nervous. After an eternity, her voice filled the room.

"You're telling me…" another pause. Then, quick as a tornado, she turned around, her eyes dancing with light and supporting a smile so wide it looked like her face was about to split in half. All around her, blue sparks and flames popped and fizzled to life.

"I'M AN AUNT?!" the queen exclaimed excitedly, literally jumping up and down in euphoria. Alec slowly nodded his head, her excited attitude somehow making him more uneasy than her silence. At his confirmation, she literally sprinted over to them and scooped the two men into a bone crushing, sweaty hug, cutting off their air supply for about a minute as she refused to let go. When she finally did release them, she began jumping on the table like a kid at Christmas, eyes dancing excitedly.

"Oh my god, Magnus, I think this is one of the first times having you as a brother is a good thing! I'm an aunt because of you! Oh my god, this is amazing!" Kiara was jumping up and down, rattling the ground with enough force as an earthquake. The couple just stared as this two hundred-year-old queen of a legendary race, who known for killing demons, as she was acting like a kid who just ate a mountain of sugar. The couple slowly turned their gazes away from the queen who was now going over types of games to play with her nephews, to Lady Hannah, who smiled amusedly from her desk and shrugged good naturedly.

"She loves kids," Lady Hannah explained quietly. "As queen, she decided she would never have any of her own, as she didn't want risk becoming one of those parents that was too busy to spend time with kids. Having nephews is probably just as good as having kids of her own."

"So…that's a yes?" Alec asked lamely. Kiara beamed, the sparks around her looking like tiny fireworks.

"Yes, yes, infinity trillion times yes!" Kiara exclaimed happily. "When do you want to pick them up? I need to have the old game room updated, oh, and ask Felicity to have kid friendly recipies on hand. Trust me, you have no idea how many dishes she makes that contain alcohol. And have the kids guest room cleaned up. Do they sleep in their own rooms or bunk together? Do they have anything in their rooms that I can put here to make them comfortable? What are their names? How old are they? How long have you two had them? What race are they? How did you even get them? I mean, warlocks can't reproduce, I know that, and gay men can't get pregnant, because, hello, biology! Did you use a surrogate, or was it a planned adoption? Oh, what about—"

"Kiara, I think you've asked too many questions," Lady Hannah interrupted with a chuckle. Both Magnus and Alec were staring at her, both trying to comprehend how she was able to talk so much without taking a breath. Kiara's mouth shut with an audible snap, and blushed. Magnus nearly winced when he heard what sounded like teeth cracking due to the force.

"Sorry," she said quietly and much more controlled. "So when do you want them here by?"

"As soon as possible would be nice," Magnus replied gently, slowly, like he was talking down Max. "Our friend Katrina is watching them and is probably panicking that we haven't come back to get them yet."

"I'll have a Portal made back to Brooklyn and have a group of scouts escort you home," Kiara answered, excitement and authority somehow harmonized in her tone. "And please don't protest about the excess protection. Alexander was already attacked, and the reports are suggesting a menace that could be willing to harm your children. And yes, you are High Warlock of Brooklyn Magnus, but even your magic and wards can't stop these forces if our evidence is correct." Magnus pondered this for a moment, to humor hi sister, before raising his empty had in surrender.

"Well, alright," Magnus conceded with a small, relieved smile. "How long until we can head out?"

"Give me an hour and the Portal will be ready," Kiara said. "In the meantime, I'll be preparing their rooms and talking to Felicity. You two can go rest up if you want. When I'm ready I'll send someone to come get you."

"Thank you," Alec said kindly. Then, taking Magnus' hand, the couple left the room. The two of them walked in silence as they exited the room, with the sound of Kiara training fading behind them. Together, they turned a corner to head back in the direction the butler had lead the, trying to get back to their room. However, when they were a few feet down the hall, Alec pulled Magnus to a stop, much to his confinement.

"What is it, love?" Magnus asked, concerned. Alec looked Magnus dead in the eye, with shockingly serious expression in his eyes.

"You and she need to talk," Alec stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Magnus' eyes widened a bit at his statement, and a feeling of dread began to rise in his chest. Quickly, he tried to redirect the conversation.

"Alexander, honey, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Doesn't matter," Alec replied firmly. "When I see you and her it hurts. I know what it's like to have a sibling, so I know what it's like to fight with them. And yes, I understand that this one is way more complicated than any sort of sibling spat Izzy and I had or ever will have, but you two are still related. You said yourself that the way you treated her was wrong. Now the next step for you two is to talk it out, so you can start forgiving each other."

"And why do you think I'm upset about this?" Magnus asked, putting on an air of anger. Alec wasn't fazed by it, and just gave him a look that said "cut the crap".

"Because I know you, and I know when your upset but don't want to admit it. But trust me, the longer you two let this stew, the worse it's going to get. And it's already really bad." Magnus opened his mouth to retaliate, but no sound came out. Alec just continued to stare at him, his piercing blue eyes showing no sign of relenting. After a few moments, Magnus let out a melodramatic sigh, placing a hand on his forehead.

"You're lucky I love you so much, Alexander," Magnus sighed with a small smile. "Fine, I'll talk to her. But how about after we get the kids—"

"Now," Alec commanded, literally turning Magnus around and giving him a push back the way they came. Magnus stumbled a bit, but after regaining his balance, turned back to his boyfriend, who was planted firm in front of him, unmoving.

"Fine," Magnus relented. Slowly, he began to walk back down the hall, glancing back every few steps, every time Alec was still there, arms crossed, gaze unrelenting. After the first three times, Magnus knew better than to believe Alec would let this go, so he sped his steps to a natural pace and stopped looking behind him. However, as he turned the corner, he found his steps were a bit more wobbly than normal. As he approached the open door, he stopped and leaned against the wall, trying to gain his composure and figure out what he was going to say. Behind him, he heard grunts and growls coming from inside the room.

"Watch your form," Lady Hannah's voice ordered. In curiosity, Magnus slipped closer, and making sure no one was around, case a spell that allowed him to see through the walls.

Kiara was inside, mercilessly beating a wooden dummy that was swinging knives at her in every direction. He watched in awe as his half-sister moved with such precision and power, graceful as a dancer and fierce as a lioness. As he watched, her speed increased, the snarl in her teeth curling up, the force of her blows and slashes elevating, until, with one final blow, the dummy snapped in half, the top flying clear across the room. Magnus turned his eyes away from the mutilated target to his sister, who was still in her stance form landing the final blow, energy humming around her and sparks flying, breathing in heavy pants. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lady Hannah nod in approval.

"Good," she commended. "Your form is improving as well as your reaction time."

"But not fast enough," the queen grunted, anger and frustration tinging her voice. Snapping her fingers, another dummy appeared, wielding twice as many knives at triple the speed. Lady Hannah watched passively as Kiara began to weave and dodge the blades, landing blow after blow to the target. As he watched, he saw her speed increase that it was nearly impossible for him to see her movements. With every strike, it looked like there was some sort of hole burned through the dummy. Suddenly, with a cry, Kiara landed one final punch, and the dummy literally exploded into a mountain of splinters. Magnus stared in shock at his sister now.

Covering her epidermis were black, ink-like stripes that wrapped around her body. Her dark hair was shaggier, and her teeth had elongated to fangs. From her fingers long, slim claws protruded from the ends, and her eyes glowed yellow-green. Around her, the air was sparking with tiny flames, and the temperature is increasingly rising.

Then, as soon as it came, it was gone. Kiara dropped her stance, panting hard and her arms holding her up by her knees. The flames fizzled out, the temperature returned to normal, the stripes, claws, and fangs vanished from his sister's body. As she stood there panting, Lady Hannah made her way over, sitting on one of the weight benches, patting the spot beside her. Kiara made her wobbly way over, flopping onto the bench as she tried to even out her breathing. Lady Hannah rubbed her back tenderly.

"What's the matter child? You were fighting with ferocity derived from anger."

"Nothing's wrong," Kiara responded, waving her hand to dismiss the matter.

"Cut the crap, Kiara." Magnus was shocked at Lady Hannah's change in demeanor. Gone was the respectful woman who addressed Kiara as a superior, and in her stead was a mother or sister-like figure who was tired of dealing with excuses from a child.

"It's nothing," Kiara said more firmly.

"It is not," Lady Hannah replied firmly. "Tell me what's wrong." Kiara turned to glare at the women before her, her golden-green eyes laced with defiance. Lady Hannah just stared back, unrelenting and unmoving. The two just stared at each other for about five minutes, neither moving an inch. For many tense moments, the two just stood there, until finally Kiara let out a deep, frustrated sigh in defeat.

"There are days when I hate you for raising me," she said as she gave in and leaned her head on the older woman's shoulder.

"I'm just worried," Kiara continued, closing her eyes. "With these frequent attacks…the patterns, the descriptions, the warnings…all the evidence…I'm sure it's Helena. There's no other possibility."

"Are you worried you'll have to fight her again?" Hannah inquired softly as she gently rubbed circles into the girl's back. "The last time you two fought, you kicked her ass."

"That was due to a magic enhancer you gave me before battle," Kiara sighed. "If not for that my soul would've been in the clutches of my father right now. Helena has been quiet for centuries, and now she's making her move just as the Shadowhunters and Downworlders are finally gaining some ground? That isn't a coincidence. There's no telling what she is capable of. No one has found anything about her for centuries, so we have no ideas what weapons she has, attacks planned, how many allies or fighters, and no telling what kind of insane strategy. If she attacked this moment, we would probably be slaughtered. That's a terrifying fact." Kiara paused, breathing deeply to calm her elevating voice. Lady Hannah raised an eyebrow before speaking again.

"That is not all that is troubling you, child, I can see it," the knight said. "What is at the source of this worry?" Kiara remained silent, staring ahead blankly, eyes clouded. Magnus felt his heart go out to his sister as he saw the centuries old weariness her eyes carried.

"Did I make the right choice?" Kiara asked quietly, almost desperately. "When Helena and I fought, all those decades ago, I didn't kill her, I showed her mercy. I did it because I owed her my life; I couldn't just kill the I was in debt to. But now as she lives, thousands follow her, and civil conflict reigns in out race. Why didn't I kill her when I had the chance?"

"Because you are not her," Lady Hannah replied gently. "It's true Helena would've killed you without qualm. And she raised you to be a fighter, a warrior with one goal: to protect your people. But your vision of prosperity and protection did not match hers, and her morals were vastly diverging. Helena viewed the strong survive, that those who were not strong enough to live were not worth living at all. You saw the balance that was necessary between the weak and strong, relying on your emotions and morals to make decisions, which has led out kingdom to more prosperity than any queen in history."

"Yet while I and my subjects remain here, Helena trains her people for war," Kiara said bitterly. "And I wonder, what drove Helena to that madness? Was it the pressure of the throne and the knowledge an entire race rested on her shoulders? If that is the case, how long until I become corrupt?" Lady Hannah looked at the girl tenderly, and gingerly wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to her chest and stroking her hair lovingly.

"That is up to you," the woman replied softly. "Perhaps it was the centuries of watching over her people that drove her to her insanity. Remember, for some of us, immortality doesn't cause us to fossilize, but become completely detached from reality, for we no longer have a place in it. I have seen it countless times over my centuries, and I know you have seen it as well." Magnus saw his sister's hands clench the fabric of her leggings.

"But remember this," Hannah continued softly. "Helena chose to do what she did, just as you decided what you had to do was necessary. Recall, you two are not the same person. Both of you experienced different lives, therefore it makes sense neither of you have the same ideals. That doesn't mean that you are invulnerable to those possibilities and thoughts, and perhaps will even be tempted to try them yourself. But I know you won't fall into that path."

"How can you be so certain? I'm the spawn of one of the Nine Demon Princes. I could easily turn over to my demonic pedigree."

"If you could, you would have centuries ago when you were locked in that cell," Lady replied. "But you won't. You know what it is like to suffer, to feel true pain and incarceration with no escape. And that is why you won't turn to Helena. She never knew what that pain wrought on, you do. And because you do, you have always done everything in your power to make sure your subjects don't feel that sense of hopelessness. That is how you and she are different."

Kiara remained silent, turning to bury her face in Lady Hannah's chest. As Kiara stuttered her breathing, Lady Hannah whispered comforting words in her ear, stroking her hair lovingly like Magnus would when Max was upset. Magnus could only watch in silence as his sister and her mother figure embraced. After a few moments, Kiara pulled away, wiping her eyes and giving a small, watery smile.

"Thank you," she said. "I needed that."

"I know you did," Lady Hannah replied softly. "Now you should go get freshened up. You'll be meeting your nephews soon, and I'm sure you don't want to smell like you've been sleeping in a gym bag." Kiara laughed loudly and pushed Lady Hannah playfully. Rolling her eyes amusedly, Kiara stood and stretched her arms over her head. Turning her head, she smiled one last time.

"You're the best advice giver ever," the queen said honestly. Lady Hannah didn't reply, but gave her a small push towards the door. As Kiara strode in his direction, Magnus frantically deactivated the spell and tried to look like he hadn't been spying creepily on his sister. When Kiara emerged, Magnus was trying to casually lean against the wall, but failed miserably when he slipped and fell on his ass. When her eyes landed on her brother, all the laughter and excitement in her eyes was replaced by cold, intense anger.

"What are you doing here?" Kiara asked harshly as she walked past him. Magnus quickly stood up and made to follow his sister, nearly having to run to keep up with her pace.

"Oh, you know, I was just strolling through the castle admiring the décor," Magnus stated casually as he could. "This is fabulous design work. You know, it reminds me of when I lived back in Madrid—"

"Cut the act, Magnus," Kiara interrupted coldly. "What do you want?"

Magnus stopped his rambling and remained silent for a moment, nervous about what to say.

"Well…Alec suggested that we talk about…what happened."

"You mean how you treated me like shit when I tried to bond with you?" Kiara reasoned accusingly. "Because I believe we have nothing to talk about."

"Kiara," Magnus tried again, trying not to be too harsh. "I think it's a good idea to talk about this. I mean…what can I do to make it up to you?"

"You can get the hell out of my kingdom as fast as possible, but that's not really an option right now," Kiara quipped, her pace not slowing. Magnus jogged to keep up with her, despite the increasing magic energy she was radiating due to her anger.

"Kiara, what can I do? I am really sorry about what I did…I admit I wasn't a good person to you, not by a long shot."

"That's an understatement," she muttered, then gave a deep sigh. "But I will admit, you're not all at fault. Now that I look back on it I was rather…pushy. Invading and overbearing. I understand that."

"No, no, not at all," Magnus lied. Truth was she had been pretty overbearing and that was one reason he had tried to shut her out.

"Don't lie, it's the truth," Kiara snapped harshly. "However, I don't believe that's an excuse for what you did to me."

"I didn't send that mercenary after you, I thought we went over this," Magnus said, exasperatedly. Kiara stopped abruptly, causing Magnus to slam right into her. He stumbled back, trying not to fall on his butt, as she stood like a statue. Slowly, she turned around, and Magnus filched at the pain and suffering in her eyes. It was the kind he had seen countless times when he looked in a mirror: the pain of endless life, and memories that forever torments you. Magnus knew that pain all too well.

"Do you know what it's like, Magnus?" Kiara asked quietly, her voice softer than a mouse's footfalls. "To be completely powerless? Utterly, completely, endlessly powerless? Do you know what that truly feels like, what it truly means?"

"I know what it's like to be powerless…" Magnus trailed off. His sister looked up at him, her identical eyes full of anger and repressed pain.

"Not to this extent, you haven't. Have you been bound for fifty years, wrapped in chains, unable to use magic that is just within your grasp, yet completely inaccessible? You know it's there, you can feel it is so close, just within your reach, and yet there is a thick glass wall separating you from it. It taunts you endlessly, mocking and taunting you endlessly wit how easily it blocks you from what you desire, yet shows you it is still there.

"Did you spend fifty years locked in a cell, wondering what was going on in the world outside, wondering if it was day or night, if the stars were out? Have you been so broken you wished for death every waking moment, nothing else on your mind? And when you are so close, finally thinking you're going to enter that sweet void and escape, you never get to, because your chain master yanks you back, dangling the doors of death in your face, but never letting you through."

Kiara stopped harshly, her breathing harsh and gasping. Magnus just stood like a statue, watching his sister, his mind and heart racing with so many emotions and thoughts that he didn't have the sense to express because of his shock. The girl took a deep breath, head bent towards the ground as she struggled to regain control of her raging emotions. Kiara took a deep breath, her voice tiny in the cavernous halls.

"Have you actually wished our father would come and claim your soul because you thought being his servant would be less painful than what you were suffering?" Magnus nearly gasped in shock, his eyes growing wide and his blood turning to ice. He'd felt that hopelessness before, and knew that no small amount of suffering could cause that wish. For any warlock to wish their demon parent would claim their soul…that was a sign of unbearable pain and suffering. At his expression, Kiara gave a humorless, dead laugh, one that was so quiet it was like a whisper, yet was so powerful it scared Magnus.

"I nearly called him you know," she continued softly, a small, rueful smile on her lips. "Countless times, actually. But I never did. Because I was too weak to do it." Kiara ceased once more, taking shaky, raged breaths, harsher than before. When she finally looked up at Magnus, her eyes were ice cold, full of pain and sorrow that made her look like a child that had a nightmare. Her eyes were watery and red, yet she did not let the tears fall. She was shaking so badly as she looked at her older brother, but she didn't waiver, from pride or stubbornness he didn't know. It reminded him of how Rafael had looked at him when Alec first found him.

"Have you ever had your entire existence controlled in the hands of another?" she continued, her voice still like ice picks, stabbing and biting with their pain and raw emotion. "Everything you do, everything you feel, everything you are is controlled by something else. You have no say in your own life or what you feel, because like a puppet, your strings are being pulled, controlling your lifeless body. It's a sick, twisted, sadistic game, one that you never know will end.

"I was one of the lucky ones. I was saved by the people of this race. They helped me, cared for me, nursed me and made me strong. But I saw countless others over the years, so many who were broken long before I, who were reduced to a hollow shell before finally allowed to die. They welcomed death like a friend, and it was somewhat relieving. But to see so many of them welcoming death, so many deaths due to torture, do you know what it's like to watch that? I saw cells emptied and refilled within the hour. It was the same pattern, one dies, someone else comes in, all scared and confused. Then they were slowly beaten and broken down physically, mentally, emotionally, until no light was seen anymore. From my cell, I've seen thousands go through that torture. From my cell, I've seen thousands die in ways they did not deserve and far earlier than they should have, and I could do nothing to prevent it."

"I was saved and cared for," the queen continued, her voice still icy but growing louder and more confident. "The people of this kingdom, from the queen to the lowest peasant cared for me and welcomed me. They cared about me, worried about me, looked out for me, loved me. Something that you never did. Love healed me, yet I never received any from you. Why should you receive the same from me? You have no idea what I've felt for the past two centuries, Magnus Bane, so you don't come in here telling me you know how I feel!"

Kiara stopped, her entire body shaking and sparks of blue explosions appearing all around them. Some of them burned small holes through Magnus' clothes, and even burned his skin a bit, but he didn't flinch. He was too mesmerized by his little sister.

"The rage for my imprisonment is not due to your betrayal, not entirely," she said coolly, suddenly calm and collected. It was unnerving. "Much of my rage and pain also comes from guilt."

"Guilt?" Magnus asked dumbly, surprised his voice worked. Kiara gave a small, solemn nod.

"So many deaths that I was witness to, so many girls like me, killed in their prime, never given the chance to live their lives to the fullest. I was born with such power, enough to save them, and yet I could do nothing. For years, I was not only angry with you, but with myself. Decades went by, and I continued to blame myself for their deaths, even though there was nothing I could do."

"But it wasn't your fault," Magnus said, unable to stop himself for some reason. He wanted to hug his sister and comfort her, but he knew better than to try. But that didn't stop the urge.

"I know that now," Kiara replied, a small, almost real smile on her face, but it was full of sadness and regret. For a moment, she looked up at him, and when their eyes met, Magnus felt like for the first time he could truly see his sister. Not the queen, not the warrior, not even the warlock. Just Kiara, the sweet, childlike girl that came to Magnus' doorstep, immediately hugging him and calling him big brother not even ten seconds after confirming he was who he was. But that moment vanished as quickly as it came. She stood tall, the walls coming back into place, the light and kindness in her eyes leaving, replaced by the earlier pain and anger.

"I don't blame you for being imprisoned, not anymore," his sister said quietly. "However, I do believe that you'll never be more than the inconsiderate, selfish prick you were back then. And still are. Honestly, when I heard you had kids my initial first thought was that it had to be a trick. Now, granted, I'm glad you have kids, that means you have some form of humanity. But I still don't believe that you want a relationship with me because I'm your sister. I think you're out for your own gain. After all, you always are."

With that, Kiara turned on her heal and stormed down the hall, disappearing a few moments later. Magnus was left standing there, not knowing how to feel. He wanted to race after her and slap her for accusing her of what she said, but he knew she was right. He had been all of those things in the past, the very recent past. And it just proved his past would never stop haunting him.

But it also showed him something else. That his sister was still there, and he was going to do what he could to make it up to her. And if she was, he knew she would give him a chance. She had been hurt so many times, and he could understand her reasoning behind her distrust and pessimism towards him. But if he knew his sister, he knew that she would forgive anyone. She just needed the time, and the convincing. And Magnus was going to do all he could to be the brother she deserved.


So, that's the end for now. I mean of this chapter, not the story itself. Again, sorry for taking so long.

So I said at the beginning this chapter was hard to right. That's because I didn't know how to make it sound right to me. Kiara's rant, I didn't want it to be like "oh, I've been through so much and it's all his fault and I deserve to hate you and you should feel sorry for me and love me and blah, blah, blah". But I still feel like that's how she sounds. What I wanted to do was convey her suffering in a way that wasn't all weepy, but still deeply moving and easy to see that she has suffered a lot. And I didn't want to keep blaming Magnus and wanted her to acknowledge that, yet still be angry, for seemingly understandable reasons. But then agian, not everyone will see it as the same way. It was hard for me to find the right words and pacing. I hope the result didn't disappoint.

Anyways, that's all for now. Please like, comment, tell me what you think. Love you all! And again, Happy Thanksgiving!

Love, KiaraBaneTMI