(Creek's Point Of View)
Today's been a good day; I kicked some hobos out of my box for not paying their rent, got a cookie from Mr. Allister, and got my daily pranks set up. I'm a bit salty at the fact Crenny and Bunny got me, but I'll let them slide since Crenny is basically my sibling, and I already got Bunny back, I put her mom's baby powder in her and Mr. Leo's hair dryers. Like mother like daughter.
I decided to leave a small note on Crenny's desk since it's been a few years since that vamp kid I scared to North Park stabbed her, I wish I stopped him before he got her. I put a neon orange poof ball that I stole on the desk with the note, hope she likes it.
I walked down the halls, planning my prank for the big alumni meeting tomorrow night. That's right, South Park Elementary is holding their annual alumni meeting, and 90% of the town will be there. That means it will be the biggest prank since Crenny's parents, Dr. McCormick, and Stan tricked my mom into going to Peru.
Yes, you heard me right, my mom, is Craig "No Fucks" Tucker, well, Craig "No Fucks" Tweak now. I won't go into details, I hate talking about them, but I guess background info is necessary. Crenny doesn't know any of this yet, only me and my godfather, Mr. Allister, do.
I was born from a mishap featuring private parts with my parents, and after my mom, Craig, was pregnant, my dad, Tweek, refused to let him have an abortion, so 9 months later I come into this fucked up excuse of a town.
Now then the question you might be asking is, why don't you live with them, and why can't they remember you? That's coming up next, it happened when I was 4.
Eric Cartman decided to kidnap me on my way home from preschool. He picked me up and threw me into Starks Pond. I was saved by Mr. Allister. We then went back to my house, to see Cartman telling my parents I had been murdered by some passing terrorists on their way to Denver.
I saw my parents drink so much they blacked out in the kitchen, and that sucks to watch as a 4-year-old kid. Mr. Allister then took me to his house, where I got punched by Stan to protect Mr. Allister since he saved my life after all. I have a slight dent in my cheek from it, but it's not noticeable.
I just wish I wore more than my dad's sweater and my mom's chullo hat to school, because the next morning, I went home, and they didn't even recognize me. It crushed me, so I ran away without saying anything. I stole a large box from the UStoreIt and moved it next to the train tracks. I've lived there ever since.
Crenny knows that I have parents (thanks to my big fucking mouth saying that Mr. Allister's my godfather.) but she doesn't know that I wasn't born homeless, I'd like to keep it that way for a while.
It's not that bad honestly! It's protected by a sign, and I can rent it to drug dealing hobos, and then sell the drugs to others, like my grandparents, before they were arrested. The coffee was ok at best, the drugs didn't even help! What a couple of assholes right? Ugh...
Anyways, upon setting up Crenny's 'sorry I let you get stabbed' letter, I sat in my seat, and awaited class to start. I watched Crenny open the letter and gave me a 'really?' look. I just give her my stare of no fucks, my girlfriend also looks at me, but she has a grin on her face.
Yes I said girlfriend, I'm dating Bunny McCormick, and it could be worse, at least I'm part of South Parks gay couple, unlike 99% of parents here, like yikes.
Moving on, about 10 minutes into the old ass Mr. Garrison's lecture, I got bored. So I raised my hand and decided to get detention.
"What, Elly?" Too easy. I flipped him off, turning his old face redder than my cousin Revin's hair. He shouted at me, "Elly Tweak! Detention! Get out of my classroom!". I give him a shrug and my Lisa Frank murdering monotone, "Ok." and left to start my pranks.
[AFTER SCHOOL]
I finally finished my prank for the alumni meeting, it will be the best thing ever! I put a mix of the hospital's waste, the dumpster juice from by my box, Kyman's and Cartman's sweat, and moldy eggs in a blender and filled the fire sprinkler system full of it after making sure it was a liquid with Bunny and Tyde A. We were going to watch everyone get soaked, and I told Crenny to bring an umbrella.
I watched as everyone in detention left, we were doing community service, good thing I got cleaning the gym, fuck no am I cleaning the cafeteria tables, there's gum down there.
I got down my hat wiggling, cueing time to feed my guinea pig. That's right, guinea pig. She's an ancient Peruvian guinea pig, her name is Spot. She doesn't have a spot, but I think it fits her. My mom has one named Stripe #7, the others died over periods of time.
I got sent to Peru like my mom as revenge for ruining my enemy Wendi Testaburger's hair. Yes, Wendi Testaburger, unlike her mom Wendy. That's for another day, but afterward, I went home to my box, and it was crushed by another box, and when I opened it, there was Spot!
She's so cute! I spend most of the money I make on her, she's amazing! I also tell her all my problems, I trust Crenny and Bunny, but I trust Spot more somehow. I will only show emotion to Spot.
I pull her out of my hat, her cute brows and black fur soft against my hands. She's so large and I'm so small I can barely fit her in my hands, but I trained her to sit still in my hands, I did it to Stripe #7 too. I sneak back to my old house just to visit him sometimes.
She squealed the cutest squeak! Aahhh! No one hears of this. To avoid showing emotion to someone on accident, I hide behind the bleachers and give her my last carrot, watching her eat it. When she finishes it I put her back into my hat and head home.
On my way home, I pass by the Tweak's house, and as I usually do, I take a look inside their living room window. They seemed super confused.
"Craig? If we didn't have a kid what does this picture mean?!" He's holding up our last family photo. I was 4, and it was a week before Cartman kidnapped me and threw me into the pond.
"They could have just given us someone else's kid, babe." Why? He's always using that reason.
"No, Craig! I don't believe that this time! She looks just like us! My spiky hair, my eye bags, and my blue eyes! Your black hair, that chilly look in your eyes and your paper white skin! Craig, she's our kid! How else do you explain your stretch marks when you've never been fat in your life! You've always stayed skinny and boney with occasional muscle!" Finally some logic.
"Ok, Tweek, ok. Then let's find her and ask. We didn't get much out of Kyle's daughter considering she knows as much as we do, so let's go find her if she really is our kid." Wait, they're actually going to look for me?! No no no no no!
"Let's go now! All the kids are out of school! They're probably playing outside!" We were going to play superheroes on the 14th. It was going to be me, Tyde A and B, Bunny, Revin, I got Fike to play, Jim-Tim will be joining, Crenny if she wants to, Kyman, and Staley (who I didn't even need to ask).
I watched them get up, then saw my mom who caught me peeking in the window. He looked at me, then headed to the front door. Shit! I booked it out of there, and by the time he got to the door and got it open, I was already out of the neighborhood.
A.N: A friend of mine actully wrote this chapter! So go check her out on Wattpad and Quotev!
Links:
user/hopefulbunnieZ
hopefulbunnieZ
