So. Here we go again. It's time for chapter seven of Mary Sue- I mean Mercenary. Totally meant that. Not really. I'm such an idiot aren't I? But I guess I'll go ahead and shut up so you can read the chapter. Enjoy. Or not. It's your choice after all.
Chapter Seven: Twins
Figs. The Shepherds love them. I don't know why but they just do. Which is a bit troubling considering I'm allergic to figs. They give me a rash. How did I find this out? Not me being allergic but the Shepherds liking figs. Well; it was during the march back to Ylisstol and some Shepherds were sparring to pass the time when Jill attacked Lon'qu by throwing figs at him because he wouldn't spar with her. Every single fig Jill threw, a Shepherd made sure to rush over and eat it. I wish I was kidding. Every fig thrown, even if it touched the ground for more than five seconds, was eaten by a Shepherd! The fig market in Ylisse must be amazing.
Anyway, the Shepherds are returning to Ylisse in high spirits because we secured an alliance between Regna Ferox and Ylisse against Plegia, got some new faces in the Shepherds, and we had a giant feast yesterday. My stomach is still full from that party. But yeah, the Shepherds are marching towards the Longfort to get back on Ylisse soil. It would've been done in a day, except a few things happened on the way. The first thing was a horde of Risen attacking this settlement and some refuges. I couldn't participate in the battle because I was too sore from yesterday. But from what I heard, we kicked ass. I was there for the other two things though. So let me tell you about them.
We were marching down a side road to get to the Longfort faster when we saw a ruined caravan by the side of the road. Of course Chrom made everyone stop and see what was the problem. I didn't hear the entire conversation but apparently some bandits are blocking the road and we need to secure the route so trade between kingdoms will be secured. Looks like it's time to fight. Yay. Lissa tried to stop me from going out and fighting but I made it clear I wasn't no sloth when it comes to fighting. Plus bandits are mostly axe fighters so we are going to need all the sword fighters we can muster.
The Shepherds double time it up the road and spot a village surrounded by a forest under attack by some bandits. Looks like those are our guys. They are lead by a Beserker, the upgraded axe fighter Class. This is going to be pretty difficult when it comes time to kill their boss. Berserkers are known for their power and ability to take many wounds before dying. He is leading a bunch of Barbarians and Fighters with a few Archers as back up. They at least outnumber us two to one. But it looks like we aren't alone in this fight. A Merchant over by the village is fighting off the bandits and from the way she is fighting, she is pretty fucking badass.
The Shepherds move out; I am tasked to head towards the village to assist the Merchant. On the way, I get ambushed by two Barbarians and a Fighter. I take on all three of them; I am a badass and I know I can handle them. I manage the Barbarians well; blocking and dodging their strikes with relative ease. One Barbarian leaps and tries to strike me but I easily dodge him and stab him in the throat. The other Barbarian suddenly swings at me and I manage to block his strike. His axe sends vibrations through my sword and into body when out weapons meet. I gasp at the sudden pain as the vibrations ruck my bandaged wounds. I fall to the ground from the pain and I am about to lose my head when I kick the Barbarian in the groin before cutting his head off. The Fighter hits me after I finish the last Barbarian; his blow gives me a proper wounds across my back. I whirl around and cut his stomach open in one good slice. He falls to the ground, numbly grabbing to his intestines.
I look at my iron sword and frown. My iron sword is pretty worn now. It's really only worth a couple of more attacks before it's too dull to hurt anyone or just breaks. I look back up and see a Fighter rushing towards me. When will my enemies ever learn the weapon triangle? Wait, scratch that. I want to keep them stupid so I can win. I block the Fighter's strike, the blow sending another but weaker wave of vibration throughout my wounds, and easily cut his throat. After I cut the Fighter's throat, my iron sword suddenly shatters. Fuck fantastic. Back to the bronze sword. I go back to heading towards the village, not wanting to stay so another bandit get's a bright idea to attack.
I make it to the front of the village. I see the Merchant crouching over a corpse, like she is in pain or something. I rush over to the merchant and ask, "Hey! Are you hurt? Should I get a-" The merchant stands up and looks at me. She is completely unharmed. I guess she was just looting the corpses. Fantastic. "-Wait. You're fine. Oh… I'm such a fucking idiot for worrying aren't I?"
She smiles at me, raising a finger up to her face, before saying, "Yes, but it's sweet all the same, handsome." 'Handsome?' I was never really called handsome before. Normally I would be called cute or adorable, not handsome.
I look around and say to her, "You seem to be doing just fine around here but I hope you don't mind company. I gotta stay and fight. Until all the bandits are dead of course."
The Merchant giggles and says, "Aw, you ARE worried! That's adorable! I welcome the assistance." After she said that, a female Barbarian and the Berserker ran out of the woods and rush toward us. Me and the Merchant whirl around and get ready to meet the enemies. I draw my bronze sword and block the Barbarian's attack while the Merchant faces off with the Berserker.
The Berserker spins his axe around and says, "Give up now! I was born a Victor, and victory will be mine!" The way he said victor must mean something. Maybe his name? Probably not but I am going to use it. Victor lunges at the merchant, his axe barely missing the Merchant. The Merchant just giggles before attacking Victor with a flurry of blows from a steel sword.
I would've continued to watch but I am sent to my knees when a Barbarian whacks my leg with his axe handle. I manage to block her follow-up attack before rolling under her to get back up on my feet. I get back up and slash at the Barbarian, scoring a shallow wound across her leg. I block her next strike and deliver a few more hits before she falls to her knees. She looks up at me, silently pleading to give her mercy. I simply raise my sword over my head and slash downwards, killing the Barbarian. I wonder if she was a recruitable person? Aw well, she's dead.
Suddenly, I hear the whirl of something. I turn and see the Berserker is about to land a critical attack on the Merchant. I can't let that happen! She's the first person to call me handsome! I manage to make it to the Merchant and raise my blade to block the Berserker's attack. The Berserker finishes spinning and attacks. His axe shatters my bronze sword in that one hit and the force of the attack slams me into the earth. I think some of my wounds covered by my bandages just re-opened. Fucking fantastic. Not really. Ow…
I am pulled up and away by the Merchant when the Berserker was about to land another hit. I struggle to stand up from the pain I am in but manage. I draw my father's broken sword and get ready to fight. I hope it doesn't get even more broken then it is right now. The Merchant to the side of me takes out a steel spear like she prefered to use that weapon instead of a sword. If she prefers to sue a spear, why didn't use that instead of a steel sword then? You know what? Never mind. Back to the fight.
Me and Merchant meet the Berserker again with a loud clang of our respective weapons. The Merchant parries the Berserker's next attack before driving her steel sword into his stomach. The Berserker, somehow still alive, punches the Merchant in the face; knocking her back a few paces. I try to attack but I am grabbed by the throat and thrown towards the Merchant; slamming into her which sends us back some more. Why the fuck do enemies keep throwing me around for? I'm pretty sure I weigh a good one hundred and seventy pounds!
The Merchant and I stand back up and barely dodge the Berserker's next attack. In the corner of my eyes I see Jack and Chrom running towards us. If I manage to distract the Berserker, they could finish him in one blow. I rush towards the Berserker, rolling under a swipe of his blade, and grab the merchant's steel sword. I pull the sword out and jump back. Chrom and Jack arrive and finish off the Berserker with one blow, cutting him in half.
"I... I see an open field, Vincent... Such beautiful flowers…" was the last thing the Berserker said before he finally died. I look around and notice the remaining bandits either running away or falling to the Shepherds. Looks like we won. Finally. Gods I need a drink. And probably a healing session with Lissa.
The merchant from the ruined caravan comes running up and says to Chrom, "A thousand thanks, good sir. I'd feared our goods would spoil before reaching market. I'm certain the townsfolk will be happier for the fresh food as well." Where was he when all of this was going down? I bet he was hiding like a fucking coward. The merchant then walks toward the village to tell them the good news; leaving me with Chrom, Jack, and the other merchant.
The Merchant smiles at us and says, "It seems you've done a kindness to my fellow merchants. The name's Anna. Some folks like to call me the Secret Seller. Next time we meet, I'll be sure to cut you an extra-special deal." So her name is Anna. She is a Secret Seller. I wonder what kind of 'Secret' does she sell. Is it information or special weapons or weird stuff? I guess I will never know.
Chrom looks at Anna and says, "...Secret Seller? That sounds... familiar." Really? I never heard of it before. But Chrom has been a Shepherd longer than me so he must have seen a Secret Seller before. Maybe Secret Seller has a different name?
"I'd tell you more, but then it wouldn't be much of a secret, now would it? Until next time, happy shopping, and may the gods of the open road keep you!" And like that, Anna left. She didn't even take her steel sword back. I guess I got a new sword now. Seeing how late it was after that battle, the Shepherds camped out near the village just in case the Bandits decided to come back. Thankfully, the bandits didn't come back. During the night I went to Lissa's tent to finally be rid of my wounds. Inside Lissa's tent was a crate full of frogs. I didn't ask why and got my wounds patched up at last.
We left early in the morning and continued on our way until we accidently stumbled into those same bandit's hideout. What did you expect? That's Shepherd luck for you. Or is it Chrom's luck? I don't know. I'll have to figure that out later. Anyway, we stumble into the bandit's hideout and see Anna, surrounded by enemies. It looks like Anna has rotten luck. The leader of the bandits was… the same Berserker except he had a lighter hair color. Did Victor have a twin? I guess so. I mean I am a twin so it makes sense. But back to the action.
The Shepherds attacked the bandits like usual. Me and Jill teamed up and cut our way to Anna. We killed three Barbarians before we made it to Anna. When we arrived, Anna was getting beat by a… Hero wielding a bronze sword. These bandits have a Hero with them. Time to get really serious.
Me and Jill attack the Hero to get pressure off of Anna. Me and the Hero exchanged blows and attacks, or blades bouncing/blocking every attack, while Jill charged up her thunder magic. The Hero jumped up into the air and stood on top of a pillar. I pointed him out to Jill with a "There!" Jill blasted a ball of lightning at the Hero while she said, "Time to tip the scales!" Jill's magic hit the Hero and the force of the spell made the Hero fly off of the pillar and slam into the ground. I'm pretty sure I heard several bones break. I'm also pretty sure he is dead as well. Me and Jill walk over to Anna who is currently trying to open some chests. I didn't know Merchants could lockpick. Wait; she's a Trickster now. A Trickster is the second advanced class for a Thief besides Assassin.
Anna stops lockpicking and turns to face us. She looks at me and says, "Hello there, handsome! Am I being rescued?"
I nod and say, "That's the plan Anna. But you don't seem to need it."
She stands up, looking confused, and says, "How do you know my name?"
"You told me…"
"Oh? ...Mmm, I'm afraid I'm drawing a blank."
"We fought together yesterday? Against the brother of the Berserker we are fighting today? You don't remember any of that?"
Anna suddenly smiled and start to giggle like a madwoman. "You must have met one of my sisters." Sisters. She has sisters that look exactly like her. Wow. that is pretty scary. And a bit arousing for those people into that. I'm not into that! Stop looking at me like that!
"You must have met one of my sisters." I say, a cold sweat drop sliding down my forehead.
"Yes, there's a strong family resemblance. Oh, and we're all traveling merchants." Fan-fucking-tastic. Just what this world needed.
"With the same fucking name?"
"Yes, actually. That's part of our little secret!" I may need to lie down after this.
"Your family gatherings must be hell on earth for you."
"True, but aren't everyone's? Still, I can't just send you on your way after helping TWO of us. So let me come along and aid you in return. I can be quite useful. You'll never make a loss with me in tow! I guarantee it!"
"Sure… Just don't set anything on fire ok?"
"I promise that nothing of value will burn. Like the money!" She has her priorities in check. I like that. Money is everything. It will buy you almost everything in life. Anna went back to lockpicking the chests while me and Jill went back to fighting. The Berserker went down much quicker than his brother. Of course Sully's horse was the one who attacked the Berserker so there's that. The Shepherd's cleaned out the rest of the bandits and we left the hideout with Anna as our newest member. It was getting pretty late out so the Shepherds decided make camp near a stream and some natural hot springs.
An incident concerning Jack, Vaike, Sully's horse, and spying on bathing women later and I was ready to go to sleep. Except Anna walked into my tent and sat down on the tiny makeshift hammock I made. At first, no one said anything, only stared. It was pretty fucking awkward so I decided to break the ice.
"Um hi Anna. Do you need something?" I say to her. I am basically half dressed at this point and I am hoping Anna won't say any biting remarks about how thin I really am.
"Not really handsome," Anna says before looking at the shoulder guard I took off of a dead Ylissean Mercenary. "Hey; where did you get that? Looks pretty fancy and that usually means expensive." Time to lie again.
"I got that after I completed my training as a Ylissean soldier." I say. That was a pretty convincing lie if I do say so myself. It adds up with the backstory and everything.
"You're lying." Oh shit! She knows! I need to go to Plan B!
"W-What? Come now I did receive this from Ylisse."
"You probably took it off a corpse. Did you?" Fucking hell! Plan C! I need to do Plan C!
"NO! I NEVER KILLED A YLISSEAN MERCENARY AND TOOK HIS SHOULDER PLATE BECAUSE IT WAS BETTER THEN MINE AT THE TIME YOU BITCH!"
"So that's how you got it… I wonder if Chrom knows about this…" Well. Shit. I'm fucking dead. Thanks to fucking Anna the Trickster. Fuck me with a Plegian cactus!
"You wouldn't dare!"
"I would… Unless you give me that broken sword you keep carrying around and half of your nest egg. That sword is a pretty old style and that means it's pretty valuable now! If you don't give me those then it looks like Chrom is going to get some bad news." Shit. I hate ultimatums. They are so hard to decide on. I either give Anna my father's sword and half of the money I have been saving up or face Chrom's wrath. Facing Chrom's wrath would mean all of the Shepherds attacking me… I-I can work hard to buy my sword back. She is part Merchant after all so she has to sell stuff. I can buy it back. I can but it back… I'm sorry dad.
I draw my father's sword and toss it at Anna before going to my nest egg's secret place, grabbing half of it, and giving it to Anna. I say to Anna, "Please give it a good home…"
Anna giggles and says to me, "What? You thought I was going to sell it? No! I am getting it fixed then copied! I am going to make thousands if not millions! I just needed insurance in case you tried to take this money-maker away. Bye!" That sneaky slut. She cheated me out of my family's blade so she can make knock offs to sell to people. But I have to admit, she is pretty smart when it comes to money. A role model for sure. But this role model is going to have dirt on her so I better keep my eyes open.
I wonder how big her nest egg is?
Aiden and Anna attained support level C
So. There you go. A trash chapter for a trash fanfiction. I hope you enjoyed.. What am I saying I bet you hated it. I wouldn't blame you. This is cancer in written form. But I guess I'll keep writing this cancer until everyone tells me to stop. Or to go kill myself. Or both. It's up to you guys after all. Bye.
