SWITCHING GAME
By: tweety-src-clt9
"You – how dare you! Calling me a boring nag! After all that I've done for you – you jerk!" Hermione slapped Harry on the face.
Harry Potter touched his cheek. For a petite adorable witch, Hermione really knew how to hit wizards in the face. Now he knew how Malfoy felt in their third year. Ouch, he winced.
I'm an idiot! Why did I follow Seamus and Ron's advice on catching Hermione's eye through cockiness and teasing? Now she's just plain upset and angry and – oh, Merlin! She's crying! I made Hermione cry. I'm a stupid – stupid prat!
"Hermione, I'm so – "
"Save it, Harry! I don't want to hear it," Hermione angrily wiped her tears before she ran away.
"Argh!" Harry stomped his foot in self-loathing as he walked towards the other direction.
oOOOOOo
Lady Hogwarts, the quasi-sentient entity that was the heart of the magical school, could only groan at the sheer stupidity of Godric Gryffindor's descendant. While Gryffindors and Peverells always won the heart of their one true love, the Potter gene pool of acting without thinking had always made the courting process even more difficult for them.
Lady Hogwarts could name so many silly Potter men.
In just the recent generations alone, there was Charlus Potter who chased Dorea Black all around Hogwarts. The clueless young Potter received so many hexes but he won the feisty Dorea's heart in the end.
And then came the prankster, James Potter. Boy was an arrogant prat who vowed to marry the smart yet shy Lily Evans. Now that was painfully hilarious to watch. In the end, James and Lily became the martyr parents to the one who rid the world of that Slytherin heir, the megalomaniac psycho, Tom Marvolo Riddle.
Lady Hogwarts, the all-seeing entity of the school watched Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. With the way the curly-haired witch was crying her heart out and with the distraught demeanor on the young Potter's face, she shook her head in exasperation. Harry Potter was even punching a conjured dummy at the Room of Requirement to lessen his self-loathing, talk about dramatic. She knew that these two lovesick teenagers would never get together without some form of intervention.
Lady Hogwarts smirked. She now had a solid plan.
Potter men always had poor game and this one – Harry Potter – may be the most clueless Potter ever when it came to wooing his witch. Since Harry Potter defeated Voldemort, it was time that Lady Hogwarts returned the favor by helping him woo the Brightest Witch of the Age.
As Lady Hogwarts imagined how brilliant, brave, and beautiful the offspring of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger would be, she grinned.
My plan is a foolproof way for these two idiots to acknowledge their feelings for each other…
oOOOOOo
Hermione Granger woke up feeling weird. As she opened her eyes she gasped when she saw the Quidditch Posters and the scattered clothes on the floor. What the hell am I doing in a boy's room?
She felt something painful and throbbing down below so she looked down. The first thing she noticed was the prominent bulge beneath the duvet. It looked like an erection. With eyes wide, she groped all over her body and her breasts were gone. She touched lower until she gripped a long and hard penis.
"Ahhhhh!" she screamed in panic as she got out of bed. She found a large mirror and screamed even more. Instead of her own reflection, she was looking at Harry Potter's lean and muscular body. She was in Harry Potter's body!
"Ahhh!" she screamed again as she left the Head Boy's private dormitory to go to the Head Girl's. Despite her panic, she still remembered to knock on what was supposed to be her own quarters.
She knocked for around five minutes but there was no answer. Huffing, she flicked her wrist and Harry's wand flew to her hand. Here goes nothing, she thought as she used the wand to cast Alohamora on her bedroom door.
The first thing she noticed as she opened the door was her real body, wearing the silk red negligee she picked last night. Whatever or whoever was inside her body, they must work together to make things right. She couldn't live as Harry Potter! She wanted her body back for Merlin's sake!
The Hermione sleeping on her bed was snoring like a bloke with her limbs spread all over the mattress. Good lord! She pointed Harry's wand to her sleeping body and muttered the words to the tickling charm.
She watched in fascination as her chocolate brown eyes fluttered open and then whoever was controlling her body immediately adapted a threatening look.
"Who are you – What the hell!" whoever was occupying her body exclaimed upon realizing that they were speaking in her tone of voice.
"Ha – Harry?" she asked.
"Hermione? Why do you look like me?" Harry replied.
"I think you should check the mirror, Harry," this was so bizarre.
Harry got out of her bed and immediately walked toward a mirror. "Bloody hell! You look hot! I mean – I look hot? Bollocks! What happened?" Harry's eyes roamed all over her body through the reflection on the mirror.
She flicked his wand and hit him with a stinging hex. "Stop staring at me!"
"Sorry," he muttered but she knew he wasn't sorry at all.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you," she huffed.
Harry finally looked away from the mirror and faced her. "So… You're me and I'm you. Bloody hell!" he summarized.
"We have to get to Madam Pomfrey or Professor McGonagall! We can't be stuck like this!" she insisted.
"You really wanna go right now?" his voice was laced with amusement.
"Of course! Merlin! I never wanted to be a boy!"
"You have to take care of that first," he smirked as he looked down.
"What do you – oh, Merlin! Why are you like this," she gestured to his crotch.
"It's morning, Hermione. It's a normal bloke thing," he chuckled.
"Make it stop!"
"Er, you want me to give you a handjob?" Harry said cheekily.
"Oh god! This can't be happening! Argh! Whatever! Maybe it will go away on its own. See you in the common room in ten minutes," she stomped her foot in exasperation. She was about to walk away when she realized something. If he took a shower in her body, then he would see her naked just like she would be seeing his body.
"Wait a minute!" she exclaimed.
To her utter annoyance, Harry was looking at the mirror again. "Really, Harry?" It was so weird and horrifying to watch her eyes blaze with sexual awareness while she was in Harry's body. It's so awkward. It's like watching herself checking herself out if that made sense.
"Oh, sorry," he blushed.
"God! At least it's you! Good heavens if I switched bodies with Malfoy! Can you… Shower with your eyes closed?"
"Really?" He gave her an incredulous look.
"Fine! But – but – we won't mention this – " she gestured to the both of them, "to other people."
"Of course, 'Mione." He said seriously and she nodded.
"Well then, we best take a shower," she said as she walked towards the door.
"Hermione?"
"Hmmm?"
"How do you wear bras?"
"Oh god! Just don't wear one and cast a glamor charm!" she squeaked before she ran to his bedroom. This was such a crazy nightmare.
A/N:
This is a silly idea in my head.
While I'm typing words for WIPs, I had this crazy idea.
So, what do you think?
I just find it hilarious so I typed a few paragraphs. I'm not even sure if it's going somewhere HAHAHA.
Let me know though.
I haven't posted a drabble in a while.
