So. Here is another chapter of a cancerous piece of shit fanfiction. Or Mercenary if you want to call it that. A lot of you guys really like this for some reason so I'm going to keep going. And don't worry if this peace time period is getting a bit overstretched. I am probably going to end it around chapter 27 or something. Just know that I don't plan on this going beyond chapter 30 that is for sure. So I'll shut up now and let you get on with the reading. Again. Here you go!
Chapter Twenty Four: Winter
I really hate fancy noble clothes. They are just too tight for me. Especially around my inner thigh area. But I gotta wear something fancy for the ball happening inside Ylisstol palace right now. Yeah, me and Anna, after going round and selling a bit more of our treasure, got enough gold to buy us some pretty nice looking clothes for the ball that Chrom invited us too. I heard all the Shepherds are going to be there so I would hate to disappoint and not show. Plus the ball is around the beginning of the next year so that is a plus seeing me and Anna can spend some time in comfort in Shepherd HQ while winter goes wild.
But the bad thing is that it is pretty fucking cold outside right now. Like I can see my breath freeze in midair kind of cold. And I have to wear fancy ball clothing that definitely cannot protect me from the cold. Despite what some people say, the cold really bothers me. I prefer sitting near a fire, writing or taking a nap than going outside and building a snowman or something. Gods I am making so many references to that book that came out a few years ago. I think it was called "Chilled" or something; I don't fucking know.
Sadly; I am outside in the cold, wearing a fancy green ball costume that just rubs me in all the wrong places. And it is not the good kind of rubbing! It's like the rubbing that makes you itch right afterwards. Gods I hate that kind of rub. Next to me is Anna, wearing a red ball costume like me except tailored for girls, a tiny bit scandalous with her arms and shoulders exposed. We are in a line full of nobles and super rich merchants as they wait to get inside the castle for the ball. Thankfully we are about to be up next. Just one more noble left before we can get inside and get warm.
"Hey handsome, you still got feeling in your legs?" Anna says to me, rubbing her exposed arms so they stay warm enough to not contract frostbite.
"Barely, what about your arms Anna?" I say back, patting my legs so they don't go completely numb from the cold. Oh gods that noble started to throw a hissy fit because he doesn't have a proper invitation to come inside. More waiting for us!
"I think this little ball will provide many unique business opportunities for us. Especially once all the nobles drink a cup or two of some warm wine."
"Good point. But I don't think Chrom will like it if we swindle some of his nobilities' entire fortunes during his party. But you go for it if you think you can get away with it."
"'Get away with it'? I am the master of bargains and secrets. Just you watch me!" Anna says, making a few nobles behind us look at the two of us questioningly.
"Keep it down! Don't need to annouce we are here to swindle their gold away from them." I say to Anna, gesturing to take it down a notch. Anna simply sighs and nods at me. The noble in front of us is beginning escorted out of here by a few Soldiers. Nobles act a lot like children at times. Especially when things don't go their way is when they act the most like children. But they have a lot of responsibility so they have to act mature most of the time. Which is why I like being a common born person. At least I have the freedom to be whatever I want to be.
"Next!" Anna and me step forward and face the little gatekeeper of Chrom's winter ball. It's a Great Knight covered head to toe in armor, and wearing a rather view constricting helmet. Great idea of a bouncer I have to admit. Anna hands over our letter that Chrom sent us to the Great Knight. The knight begins to look over our letter but has to raise his helmet's visor to see the rest of it. He raises his visor and- For fucks sake it's motherfucking Frederick.
"Frederick. Why are you wearing armor? It looks pretty stupid to be honest." I ask the man as he continues to read our letter. Even he has to have standards about winter ball clothing!
Frederick finishes looking over our letter and hands it back to us, saying "Because it will keep Lord Chrom safe from any intruders and it is proper attire for a knight of Ylisse. Unlike what you are wearing, Plegian mercenary."
"So he told you what I really was? Fuck me."
"Indeed. I'll be watching you both very carefully. Now go on in, the other Shepherds are probably waiting for you two." Frederick puts his visor back on and motions us to hurry up and get inside. I would argue but I am starting to lose feeling to my legs so I am fucking off now. Me and Anna go inside and head into the main party area. We sigh in relief at how warm it is inside the room. I feel Anna's arm slip between mine and I look at her a bit confused.
"You're my escort handsome. Seeing how we are around nobles, might as well do the 'fancy manners' this time around. Now lets hurry up and get started before those Shepherds find us. I want some gold in my pocket before the night ends." Thank the gods that Maribelle made all of the Shepherds go through noble training during the Ylisse-Plegian war. I know what she means by "fancy manners." We begin to move around the room, I escorting Anna towards any targets she picked while she charms the nobles into giving away their life savings. After all, we worked like this for an entire year now so we got this.
We were able to ruin three nobles before the Shepherds spotted us. Vaike, actually dressed in a really cool looking Warrior armor, and Gregor, dressed in fancy Mercenary gear, grab us and drag us into another room. We then were swarmed with a bunch of hugs and claps on the back by the other Shepherds, all dressed in their classes' improved fancy armor. I think I am going to have to get dressed up in armor, aren't I?
"Ah Rider man, Gregor is happy to see you again! How is your job? Gregor hopes you get paid good." Gregor says to me over the mass talking that the Shepherds have dissolved into after our introduction.
"I'm good Gregor. My job has had a few close calls but other then that it has been pretty interesting. Yes I get paid pretty well and my class changed to a Hero recently." I reply back to him. At least Gregor is one of the more saner people in this army. Or not. I don't really know anymore to be honest. Which reminds me of an important thing to ask him again.
"That is good. It is good to fight while on job. Is part of the job description after all. Gregor has had some fighting in job too. Little rebellion sparked up near Plegian border. We put it down fast. No dead. Also many Risen attacks but we stop all of those before they get too serious. I bet you miss Shepherds yes?"
"I'll admit, the Shepherds do have a charm to them that I can't resist. But I have a question about you Gregor."
"What is it Rider man?"
"How old are you? And don't tell me something else to divert the question."
Gregor crossed his arms at me and frowned. He sighs in defeat and says, "Fine. But you will not tell Gregor's age to anyone else beside Gregor."
"I promise I won't tell anyone your age." I say, eager to finally hear how old he is.
Gregor leans in and whispers, "Gregor is…"
I lean as well and say, "Gregor is..?"
"Gregor is… older than you." That is not what I wanted.
"Um, like how old are you really?" I say, annoyed about what Gregor said.
"If you want Gregor's true age, pay Gregor a lot of gold. Gregor will tell you then." Oh goddamnit. He keeps me behind a paywall and I'm too cheap to buy my way through it! Curse you Gregor!
Aiden and Gregor attained support level B
Me and Gregor chat for a bit more until Maribelle walks up to us. In her hands is a set of rather impressive looking, modern Hero gear. I think I know who is going to have to wear that gear. Which is me in case you are wondering.
Mariebelle shoves the armor into my arms and says, "Here you go mercenary, your official ceremony Hero armor." I look over the armor and it is pretty badass looking. Sorta resembles a blue dragon with how the armor's plates are designed. I guess it is to scare foes or something.
"Thank you. This armor looks super bada- I mean very well done craftsmanship." I say, remembering those detentions that she gave me for cursing in her classes. Gods I do not want to go back to that. I still have no idea how an umbrella is able to leave giant bruises. Especially when the umbrella is a dainty looking thing like hers! But I better stop thinking about that and focus on the present.
She giggles a bit at my obvious attempt to not swear and says, "At least you are trying. Now go get dressed! The Shepherds will not tolerate tardiness!" I nod at her and walk away from the two towards what seems to be the dressing room. While walking, I look around to see any changes to the Shepherds and I see something I never really expected to see. Wedding rings. I don't even know who is married to who but I feel strangely… happy. Everyone here deserves a little bit of happiness after the clusterfuck of the Ylisse-Plegian War. I wonder if Chrom is going to hold a little service for his sister next year. I heard he did a little private thing with only the Shepherds. But I think everyone, Ylisse and Plegia, would love to pay their respects too.
I walk inside the dressing room and put my armor on. It feels lighter than my other Hero armor and a shield is attached to the left arm as well. Maybe I could swap this out with the armor I got from that crest thing. I wonder if that crest was a Hero Crest or something, the early prototypes of the Master Seals. I finish dressing in my armor but look at the little helmet they gave me to go along with it. Well it looks more like a fancy headband to be honest. I strap the headband on and walk outside.
Once I make it outside of the dressing room, a few people compliment me on my looks in the armor. I thank them and join the rest of the Shepherds being debriefed by Frederick. I thought he was outside but looks like he finished up with the nobles and all that.
"Ok; Shepherds pay attention! I know how much you all want to celebrate but we have a little problem. There is a rumor of a band of assassins going to attack the party and kill Lord Chrom. Until the party is over, we are going to patrol the palace in groups of three. Lord Chrom promises to reward you all with a feast the next day. For Ylisse!" Well there goes my night of fun with Anna. Fuck me six ways till I die.
"I reckon that the castle's larder is goin' to be emptier than a corn field with five hundred hogs in it after tomorrow!"
"Gregor agrees with bucket head man. But at least it isn't Gregor's money that is being spent!"
"But milordship's treasury is where our paychecks come from. That means if his lordship's broker than an old farmin' hoe then we are goin' to be too!"
"Gregor did not think of that. Now Gregor is very worried." I really want to go party hard right now. Is that so wrong? I am stuck on a three man squad with Donny, now a Soldier, and Gregor. Normally I would be fine with that but I have one problem now. They won't stop talking. Gods, just kill me right now. It will be easier for everyone when that happens.
Me, Donny, and Gregor are patrolling a hallway in the eastern wing of the castle. I can hear the ball from all the way here. I bet those snotty nobles are having such a fun time. I wonder if Chrom is missing out of fighting these assassins with us… He probably does but he has to entertain all of those snobs and look after Jill. I am starting to think we are just searching for nothing-
Suddenly, out of the darkness of the hallway, an arrow flies out and slams into Gregor's shoulder plate. Donny lets out a little yelp when another arrow whistles past his head. I draw my sword and duck under the third arrow to come out of the darkness. I lift my my left arm an two arrows slam into the shield plating. I advance towards the darkness while Donny and Gregor continue to dodge arrows behind me. I make into the darkness and notice three Archers and one Sniper casually shooting arrows at us. Or they used to be casual seeing how I just found them. I rush them and manage to tackle an Archer. We fall to the ground and I swing my blade at the Archer, killing him via decapitation. I quickly raise my shield arm up as some arrows slam into my shield.
Donny and Gregor had finally gotten their shit together and rush to help me. Donny takes out an Archer close to me in one hit while Gregor finishes the last Archer and Sniper off. I snap the arrows off of my shield and we quickly exit the hallway to see if there are anymore assassins around. Or some more of those random Archers and a Sniper that decided to fuck with us. We turn to the sounds of fighting as it enters our ears and see all of the Shepherds fighting off a ton of assassins. A bit more then what a sane person would hire to kill someone. Before me, Donny, and Gregor even near them, all of the assassins still alive lay down their weapons and surrender. I see Sully holding the head of the what looks like the leader of the assassins so I guess that is why they surrendered. Battle objectives are weird at times.
But at least we are getting a little feast after all of this shit! Time for a party!
So. There is the chapter. I bet you guys missed the Shepherds. Or not. I don't really know at this point. At least the story is still going! Unless you guys want me to stop writing. Which is an option you guys have. I would probably listen to it. Probably. Anyway, go and read some My Immortal so you can get an idea of why this fanfiction is worse than that piece of art. Like, abstract art or some shit. I don't fucking know. I can't draw a dog so what do I know about art? The answer is nothing. Bye.
