So. Sorry if this gets out later than usual. I'm just making sure everything is good enough for you all. Surprising, I know. Anyway, I hope you guys are ready for this chapter. I'm not and I'm writing this piece of crap. But who really cares what I think? Not you guys that is for sure. At least, that is what I think. I mean who am I kidding, at least one of you probably cares a little bit seeing how far we are in the fanfic by now. But I guess we will have to see whether or not I am allowed to keep going. You guys do have the power to make me stop this fanfic after all. What? You guys didn't know that? I bet you all did but you enjoy watching me suffer. But I better shut up now and let you read. So, enjoy.

Chapter Twenty Seven: Journal

Well, I guess I am actually going to do it. I mean most people would go through a courting period before doing what I plan on doing, but I'm not most people. I try to be though but I guess it won't work this time around. At least it is better than Plan B where I join the Risen, raided a town, steal all of the women and children, and… I better not finish that or I'll get on Frederick's watchlist. Not that list but the other one. Yeah, I hope Plan A is a success as well.

The ring I got was pretty cheap. Just a copper band with a little fancy design around the rim. That means if a thief steals our stuff; they will leave this ring behind. But if they do steal the ring, they will probably sell it to the first buyer so we don't have to go on a wild goose chase for it. I would have bought a matching ring but I'm not one for jewellery. I mean I bought a ring made out of the cheapest metal at the moment! If that doesn't say "He doesn't care what kind of ring you have as long as it is special," then I don't know what will. I honestly think it says "Cheapskate," more than what I want it to say. Gods I'm going to get laughed at aren't I? Like right now seeing your fucking smiling face.

But I'm a man. I think. Let me check real quick… Ok done. I really am a man and I'm going to do this! Trying not to blush like a fucking idiot. Or smile if she accepts. Maybe one quick smile but that's the limit! I… I don't fucking know what to do now. My mind just went blank again. I want to propose to Anna but I can't remember the words. And I don't want to fucking write it down on a piece of paper and look like a fucking idiot in front of her. I already do that with my amatur skills in buisness. Did you know that I just got swindled for purchasing an apple yesterday. I lost twenty gold because of one apple! And the apple had a worm in it as well!

What I'm trying to say is that I'm an idiot. At least when it comes to things like book stuff. I can easily kill a man and I know how to survive in the wild, but I'm not book smart. Anna is smart in both senses. She can easily kill a man, she knows how to survive in the wild, she is a charmer, she can dish out business deals like candy, and so many others things. I just feel second rate while she shines like those jewels we still have. We sorta ran out of customers for them due to how expensive they are. But still, she is better than I am and there is no doubt about it. Some people may beg to differ, like good old Donny, but that is just how I feel. I didn't even want to start looking for love again but it just happened. Gods, I am making no sense aren't I?

Well fuck it and fuck you! I need to get this off of my chest before I grow another pair and ask Anna the question. Because I really like her alot and I don't want to lose her like I lost the others! Well, I mean lose Anna to someone else. I'm selfish like that, what can I say? I just… I feel like I changed a lot since a year ago. Back then, I was pretty much a dick. Hell, I was willing to go and raid some helpless village just to repair a broken sword! If that doesn't sound like a really dickish thing to do, I need to alter my perspective a bit to see what really is dickish.

I changed for being like that. When I joined the Shepherds, I was more worried about myself and how I was going to survive than how I was going to keep my friends alive at first. I still do but not to the extent that I used to think. I also stayed in my room alot during the first couple of weeks, sorta afraid that the other Shepherds looked down on me. I mean, who would want to be friends with a dick? Donny did. He helped me go out and socialize like a normal person. Because of that, I met some amazing people during my time in the Shepherds. People like Anna. I just… I just changed without really knowing it at first.

Sitting here now, writing in this book as I just get everything off of my chest; it gives me a lot of perspective on my life right now. All the people I just killed simply because we were enemies, all of the fun things I did with my friends, all of the people I lost to something or someone, and so many more things that I wished it happened differently. Like not taking that mission to wipe out the Gunan Riders' mercenary group, the group that June was a part of. You know, I killed her. I thought she betrayed me when I saw her in the arms of another. Turns out that 'another' was her brother. Plus June may have lost an arm before I saw her. Gods I'm so fucking stupid. I mean I could sit and rant about all of the mistakes I've made but it would never be enough! I think I need to finally say it. You know, why I am even here to begin with.

A few years ago, in a fit of rage, I killed my twin brother after he killed my lover by using a axe. Thing is, my lover the Dark Mage witch and she planned on killing me. But I didn't know about this until after I killed my brother. My brother was trying to protect me but I didn't know it until too late. It's also the reason why my father's sword was broken. Swords beats axes after all. Gods… Why did I do that? I was just so angry it… I… Why am I such a bad person? I try not to be but everything just goes wrong. Hell, I bet you all don't even know my brother's name! Well, I guess I can tell you seeing how the cat is out of the bag.

My brother's name was Aiden Jaeger. Surprised, aren't you? My real name is Cain Jaeger. I just took his name to respect him. It is the least I can do for what I've done to him. Plus copy his mannerisms, how he liked to dress, his dreams, and… This sounds really creepy and horrible when I now think about it. But it's true. I've acted like my brother for so long, I have forgotten what I used to really be like. I remember I liked to read books, that's all I can really remember if I put my mind to it. Like right now.

I need to move on from this. I need to stop thinking about the sad things in life. It will only drag me down if I keep lingering on it. I need to go back to figuring out what to say to Anna when I give her this ring. Maybe something about her looks? Nah, not good enough. What about how she makes me feel? A bit too cliche. I just don't really know what I should do.

Well, just write it then handsome.

Anna! Naga bloody hell, stop fucking scaring me! Have you been reading behind my back this entire time?

Yep. I read everything. I'm surprised you didn't realize that I was standing behind you until I wrote something.

Well. You have really nice handwriting.

Thanks handsome!

Yeah, yeah. Just, don't tell anyone else. Can you please do that?

What? You think I will tell your secrets? That's ridiculous!

Good. Anyway, I'm pretty sure you know what I am thinking about our relationship. What do you think?

Well… I if I had to pick something I absolutly love without a doubt… It would be money.

Oh… Well that is… comforting…

But… The second most loved thing would have to be you. You smiling yet, handsome?

Yes, I'm smiling. In fact, I'm blushing like a fucking idiot. What about you? You blushing like I am?

Nope. But I am blushing a little bit.

I wonder what it will take you to blush like a little school girl? Would it be a literal ton of gold?

No but it would be pretty close.

Good to know. Now I guess I should give you your ring. Unless you aren't into that.

Nah. I want to see it.

Ok. Let me get it… Here it is. Do you like it?

Looks really pretty. I like the design. Too bad it is copper. That means I'm unable to show it off.

Maybe I don't want you to show it off. Maybe I want you to all by myself. What do you think of that?

That is a little bit creepy to be honest.

Yeah… I realized that once I said it. But still… Do you accept?

Why not?

Gods, I hope I don't mess this up.

Me too. Now I think we should 'cuddle' for a bit.

Ok!

Cain and Anna attained support level S


So. There you go. Sorry it came out later than usual. I wanted to make sure I didn't misspell anything. My spell check was glitched so I couldn't spell check anything. And I hate for you guys to read some super cancer. Well this entire fanfic is cancer but you get what I am saying. I think. Anyway, I'll work on the next one. See you later.