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Prompt from tigergirl-moonstar: Love story based on Remus and Sirius how they got together and their relationship how it was meant to be without Voldemort and sent to Azkaban

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT I'VE JUST STARTED UNIVERSITY!

Chapter 4

Remus

The morning after Harry's birthday, an owl was sitting patiently on the window ledge, outside the spare room I used at James and Lily's. It was a barn owl - a mix of white, with light and burnt brown, slight hints of what looked to be orange. It was a beautiful bird, rather elegant.

My own owl - a tawny owl I named Cyrus - was a little rough around the edges. Don't get me wrong, I loved him! He had become a good friend of mine over the years... But that didn't mean I couldn't appreciate the beauty of other owls.

Rubbing, tiredly, at my eyes, I walked over to the window, pushing it open just enough for the barn owl to slip inside. It wasn't until then that I spotted the letter firmly grasped in its beak. I couldn't fathom just who it could be from - my parents usually called me, always knowing that I would be with James and Lily if I never answered. My parents very rarely sent me an Owl. Well, dad very rarely sent me an Owl, mum never did. Even after being with my father for twenty two years, my mother still hadn't grasped the wizarding ways of communication.

So, the question was - who had sent me this letter?

The owl flew back out the window, the moment it had dropped the letter into my hand. For a moment, I wondered how many Muggles would notice the bird, questioning why it was out so early in the day. I mean, it wasn't normal to see an owl in broad daylight...

The envelop had a soft yellow tint to it, the paper rough as I held it. There was this strange oaky scent to it, something I could never get over anytime I received an Owl. It was just something about letters by owls that seemed to have that certain smell... My name and the Potter's address was neatly written, the font reminding me of calligraphy, almost.

That was fast...

The handwriting was one I had become extremely familiar with over the years. Of course I would. Through school to the order, I had seen this handwriting many times before.

"It's too early for this." I sighed, running a hand over my face.

When Dumbledore said he'd be in touch with me, I never thought he meant the very next day! No one would think the very next day.


By the time I left the room, heading downstairs, everyone was already awake and moving around. Well, they would be, considering it was close to lunch. The moment I reached the bottom of the stairs, I noticed how the other three seemed to relax. I knew I stayed upstairs longer than I probably needed to. I mean, how long did it take to read and respond to a letter?

Well, given the subject matter, I think I spent a decent amount of time on it.

Dumbledore had reviewed a lot of what McGonagall had said - they were looking for a competent Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, they thought that was me, he said the job was always open to me. He told me I didn't have to start this year but, if it was something I would be interested in, then the job was mine. Dumbledore had asked when I was free, just so we could set up a meeting - I could ask any questions regarding the position; he could explain things in a bit more detail...

The truth was, of course I wanted the job! I loved the idea of being a teacher - tutoring other students, during my time at Hogwarts, had proved that to me. Defence Against the Dark Arts was the subject I had excelled in, always at the top of my class with no exceptions. Of course I wanted the job. But, still, that didn't change what I was. It didn't change how people viewed those like me. Yes, times were changing. Yes, others that had been discriminated against had helped during the war. Yes, people knew that and opinions were changing.

That didn't mean there would not be an uproar if parents found out about me. They would probably pull their kids out of Hogwarts. They would push for me to lose my job. I would be subjected to more hate and discrimination. Something I could live without.

Lying to say I was visiting my ill mother, for a week every month, only got me so far.

In the end, I had agreed to a meeting. After everything the man had done for me, I owed him at least that. He had done so much to help me - he had let me into Hogwarts, he gave me somewhere to stay during the full moons... Dumbledore was the reason I had met Lily, James and Sirius. He made it possible for me to have friends, to have a life. He gave me back what little I had left of my childhood.

"There you are!" Lily sighed. "Thought you were going to sleep the day away."

"You should know me better than that." I smiled. "I just had some things to take care of."

They didn't question it.

I suppose, with the full moon in only two weeks, they assumed it was for that - James and Lily, anyway. I think Sirius was the only one who thought and knew otherwise. I think he could tell. He had always been like that, being able to read me. It was like he was in my head.

As James and Lily shrugged it off, the two went over to Harry, the boy playing on the floor not too far away. Sirius veered off, headed straight for me, as I walked towards the kitchen.

Sirius didn't speak until I had a sip of my tea, leaning in the doorway as he waited.

"What did you say?" he asked, barely containing the hopeful note his voice contained.

"I agreed to meet him." I admitted. "But it's just to talk, Sirius. He's going to tell me more, I'm going to ask questions - nothing else."

Pushing off the doorframe, Sirius moved until he was in front of me, blocking me from escaping. No matter what I did, he would catch me - he was far faster than I was. He looked a little...sad. He was biting the inside of his lip, his shoulders drooping slightly. It was still an odd thing to see, even after all these years.

"I know you think it's a bad idea. I know you think people will find out and the worst will happen." he sighed. "But it'll make you happy, Remus. You deserve to be happy. I saw - no one thought I did, but I saw. I saw how happy it made you, sitting in those lessons or trying to find a different way to teach it to James... This job was made for you."

I had never, in all my years of knowing him, heard Sirius speak so, well, seriously - excuse the pun. Through everything, even the most grave moments, there always seemed to be this mischievous little glint in his eyes. It was who he was! For the first time, it wasn't there. It was unnerving, that was for sure...

"If you want it, take it. Like you said, it doesn't even have to be this year!" Sirius continued. "You could leave it a year or two, get yourself sorted and in the mindset. Get yourself ready. I already know you'd be a bloody fantastic Professor. Hell, you taught me more than any of those crackpots could! Those kids would be lucky to have you, Remus."

He didn't even let me reply. He just hugged me.


Lily had just taken Harry up to bed when it happened.

James, Sirius and I were setting up for a 'movie night' - basically, a night where Lily and I introduced the boys to the wonders of Muggle entertainment. It was interesting, that was for sure.

Tonight, it was a horror movie. I had picked up one, only seeing the cover before I threw it onto the sofa as fast as I could, not even thinking about my reaction. I realised my mistake the moment James and Sirius turned to me, questions burning in their eyes.

"It gave me nightmares when I was younger." I blushed. "I know it's fake, it even looks fake now, but I was terrified back them."

The two of them just laughed.

"Hey, laughing isn't nice!" I scolded.

That was when it happened.

FLASHBACK - Sunday, February 29th 1976 - Middle of Fifth Year

It was late. We should have been asleep.

Peter was.

James and Sirius had decided, yet again, to leave their homework to the last minute, meaning I had to stay up and help them - I refused to do it for them! Of course they were grateful, they always were. It would just be nice if they had done it on time.

The three of us had only just got upstairs - Sirius flopped onto his bed, ready for sleep; James sat on the edge of his, just sitting for a moment; I took the care to put my things away, before heading to bed. We hadn't been up there long, only a couple of minutes that gave us all enough time to change, when Peter woke with a sharp cry.

The boy was shaking, a light sheen of sweat pulling his hair against his face. He was scared.

"Hey, Peter, what's wrong?" I asked, walking over to the side of his bed.

"...Nightmares." he whispered, eyes filling with tears.

Sirius and James, both of whom had jumped up and Peter's yell, dissolved into fits of giggles, Sirius even falling back onto his bed.

"That's not funny!" I hissed over my shoulder, my fists balling loosely.

Peter already had a hard time. People weren't always kind to him... Even after these few years. He needed at least one friend he could count on.

"It's ok, Remus." he sighed, smiling shakily. "I-I think I'll change into a rat. They don't have dreams."

It hurt me, really. I knew what it was like to be plagued by dreams, to be haunted and terrified by something. I knew what it was like to wake up, in the middle of the night, just wanting someone to reach out and hug me. Yet, here Peter was, trying to put on a brave face because two of his best friends were being arseholes.

I didn't have a chance to say anything before he switched, the rat wriggling out from under his pyjamas.

Now, I've never liked rats. There was just something about them that I hated... Peter's animagus form, however, didn't have that affect on me. I thought, maybe, it was because I knew it was Peter - I didn't know. But, Peter as a rat, I could handle. I like rat-Peter.

Smiling a little, I lifted the rat up, cradling him close so I didn't drop him. I carried him over to my own bed, placing him on one side, wrapping a thin blanket around him gently. Even if rats didn't dream, I wasn't going to leave my friend alone when he was frightened!

"Goodnight, Peter." I whispered, climbing into bed myself and switching off the light.

All I heard back was a small squeak.

END OF FLASHBACK - Back to: Saturday, August 1st 1981

It was the first time it had happened.

I had done well, not really thinking of Peter much. At that moment, everything was still a little too raw. I know, it had been close to three months, but it still hurt - thinking of him meant thinking of his betrayal.

Thinking of him meant thinking of the past.

He had been such a nice guy, a good friend... I just couldn't understand what had happened to him! What had happened to make him turn against us all? What had they done to sweet boy we had all known?

Peter had been one of my first friends, he had been there through everything. He had, illegally, become an Animagus for me, along with James and Sirius! He hadn't judged me. I thought, for sure, he was one of the good guys. I never once thought he was working for the other side.

It hurt.

It hurt, knowing that that trust I had placed in him had been thrown away. It hurt, knowing someone I had trusted could hurt us so badly. But it didn't make sense. I just couldn't understand how he could have changed so suddenly.

I couldn't understand.


Even after everyone had gone to bed, I could still be found by the fire place. I just sat there, staring into the flames, just dragging myself deeper into the angst filled hole I had created. I tried to pinpoint the moment, tried to figure out the place where it had all gone wrong. Tried to find when Peter had changed.

No matter how much I thought, I just couldn't find it.

It made me think - was he involved from the beginning? Did it have something to do with his family? Was that the reason he would have nightmares? There were too many questions and not enough answers.

I would never get my answers, I knew that, yet I still could help but question.

I couldn't say how long I sat there for. All I knew was that, after a long while, a blanket was draped around my shoulders. I looked up, only to find a cup being lowered in front of my face, carefully - hot chocolate.

Sirius was the only one that knew to give me that when I couldn't sleep.

"Everything will be alright, in the end." he told me, sliding down to sit next to me. "Everything will be just fine."

"How do you know?" I asked, leaning my head onto his shoulder.

"I just do. It has to."

His logic never failed to make my lips twitch, even just a little. Sirius was just one of those people, you know?

"Have I ever told you what happened in Forth Year? With James and his broomstick?" Sirius asked.

"No, James always stopped you before you could say anything." I shook my head, shuffling a little closer to the man next to me.

Sirius' arm wrapped around my shoulders, leaning the two of us back until we rested against the front of the sofa. His fingers brushed lightly against my arm, moving back and forth slowly, rhythmically.

"Well, you're in for a treat, my dear Moony." he chuckled.

Thinking about it, yes, it did hurt that Peter betrayed us.

Yes, it did hurt that I placed my trust in someone who would abuse it.

But, I realised, I had people, better people, in my life.

I had people who cared for me, who would never betray me. Just as I would never betray them.

I had people I could turn to, people who would never abuse the trust I placed in them.

As much as it hurt, I didn't need Peter as my friend. Not as much as he needed me. I had my friends, I had my family. They were all I needed. Not a backstabber.


SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT I'VE JUST STARTED UNIVERSITY!

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