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Prompt from tigergirl-moonstar: Love story based on Remus and Sirius how they got together and their relationship how it was meant to be without Voldemort and sent to Azkaban

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT I'M IN UNIVERSITY!

Chapter 7

Remus

Saturday, August 14th. Day one, of three, of the full moon cycle.

The first night was always the worst.

The wolf would stretch its legs, do whatever it could as soon as it was set free. Sometimes it would try to escape, other times it had the strongest urge to kill that I had ever felt. Every time, it would be Sirius and James to stop it, calming it until morning came and I was back. The wolf liked the other two animals. It responded to them in a way I still couldn't understand. I didn't know if it was because they weren't human; I didn't know if it was because, deep down, I was still in control and recognised them... All I knew was that I never hurt them when the wolf had take over.

All day, I was in pain.

Every joint ached, every movement burned.

Throughout the day, Sirius would rarely let me get up. He would do everything for me, get anything I needed. He adamantly refused to let me cause any unnecessary pain to myself. He had been like that for years. He had gotten worse since we had started living together. It was sweet and I appreciated it, don't get me wrong. But I was used to the pain. I was used to the ach I felt every day. He didn't have to take care of me like he did.

Before going to Hogwarts, before my friends managed to become Animagi, Dad was always the one to make a fuss. He was the one that wanted to help me with everything, hardly ever leaving my side during the moon cycle or the days following it. He was worse than my Mum was, by far! In a way, it was nice. I got to spend more time with my Dad, something I didn't have much chance to do when I was younger, what with his work.

Before I could think too much about it, a mug of tea and a bar of chocolate was lowered, slowly, in front of my face. Leaning back, carefully, I looked up at Sirius. He was smiling slightly.

"I know your 'I need chocolate' face." he told me. "I don't understand why you're so obsessed with it. I mean, yeah, it's good, but it's not that good."

The moment I took the mug and sweet from his hands, placing the mug on the table, Sirius jumped over the back of the sofa, landing on the floor before softly sitting down. He was always doing that - in the Common Room at Hogwarts, at Lily and James' home, in our home... I didn't know what started it, I didn't know why he found it so amusing, but I didn't have the heart to tell him to stop.

"I've always loved chocolate. Don't know why, I just always have." I explained. "When I was younger, about three, I tried to give some to a dog owned by my Mum's friend... That was when I found out chocolate was poisonous to dogs."

Sighing, I slowly leant against Sirius, resting my head on his shoulder. He always seemed so comfortable.

"After Greyback changed me, when I was five, I ate as much chocolate as I could. I hated being a wolf, I didn't want to be one. So I tried to poison it. But, no matter how much I ate, it never went away." I told him, fiddling with the wrapping of the chocolate. "When I was nine, I admitted defeat. I realised that the only way it would die was if I died... I was in a dark place until I met you on the train."

Sirius didn't say anything. He just wrapped an arm around my shoulders, resting the side of his head on mine. He just sat there with me, silently. It meant more than any words could.


As soon as the sun started to set, when James had come to the house, we made our way into the woods. We just kept walking and walking, hiking in deeper, weaving through the trees. We had to get as far away from people as we could. The further away we got, the safer everyone, including the three of us, were.

That was all that mattered.

What I hated was the repetitiveness of the situation. I hated having to make the same trip three times a month. I hated becoming a beast that would, quite happily, rip someone apart, no matter who they were.

I hated that I was, literally, a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Walking through the woods always reminded me of my first transformation. The anxiety, the fear, the confusion...

FLASHBACK - Tuesday, March 16th 1965 - Hope Lupin's POV

It was the first full moon since Remus had been attacked. It had only been a week... Lyall couldn't be around Remus at all, spending the majority of his time in his shed in the garden. Remus didn't understand. How could he? He was still a baby...

Remus had the week off of school. We had said he was ill with the flu, but I didn't know how many times we could use that excuse. I didn't know what I was doing, I wasn't part of the wizarding world like Lyall... How was I supposed to keep Remus calm if I couldn't be calm myself?

Remus hadn't said anything since the attack. He had rarely slept, barely eaten anything but chocolate. He would cry. All the time, my baby would cry. When he passed out from exhaustion, he would wake up screaming from nightmares, screaming I knew Lyall could hear.

Lyall felt guilty. He knew why Greyback did what he did, so he blamed himself. He couldn't bring himself to face Remus, couldn't face what his actions had done to our baby boy. I could understand that. But Remus needed his father, at that time more than ever. But Remus didn't understand. He was only five years old, he didn't understand fully what was going on.

I just wanted Remus to be safe.

I walked with Remus through the wooded area about half a mile from our home, taking him to a small shack Lyall had built out of stone, with a door of wood. He was going to turn it into a little play den for Remus, for when we thought he was old enough to go out into the woods on his own. I doubted that was ever going to happen... Thankfully, however, Lyall had placed charms on the shack, concealing it from view. He had even, very recently at my insistence, made it soundproof and so only Lyall or I could open the door to the shack, meaning Remus couldn't escape when transformed. It was the safest thing for Remus.

The colours of the sky were a blended mix of reds, oranges and pinks. A beautiful, clear night. It was a shame Remus couldn't enjoy it. He was clutching my hand so tightly, physically shaking and almost in tears.

"M-Mummy... I'm scared." Remus whimpered, huddling closer to my side.

I tightened the grip on Remus' hand slightly, smiling at him as evenly as I could, trying to keep him as calm as possible.

"I know, Sweetheart." I told him. "But I promise that everything will be ok."

"H-How do you know?" he sniffled.

"Because Mummies know, baby."

(Small time skip)

Getting to the door of the shack, the sun was almost set, the moon to be rising soon. Remus was frozen, just staring up at the door of the shack, small tears already starting to roll down his face. I didn't want to send my baby inside the shack a lone, but there was nothing else I could do if I wanted him to stay safe.

"Mummy, are you gunna stay?" Remus whispered, his voice shaking.

Kneeling down, I brought Remus into a hug, cradling him as close as I possibly could. I just wished that would make it all better...

"Of course I am, baby boy." I hushed. "Mummy will be right here, ok? Mummy will stay here all night with you and won't go anywhere."

As I felt Remus nod against my neck, I felt his hands grasp tightly at the back of my jacket. I didn't want to let him go, I didn't want to leave his side. I just wanted to take all the bad from him, protect him from it. Remus didn't deserve any of it!

"Ok, baby, you need to go in now." I told him, trying to pull him off me.

"No!" Remus protested, holding on as tight as he could.

"Remus, baby, Mummy needs you to go inside."

"No, don't want to!"

"Remus-"

"Mummy, please don't make me!"

"I'm sorry-"

"Mummy!"

I had to pry Remus off of me and put him in the shack myself. I only just managed to place a kiss on his forehead, telling him I loved him, before closing the door... The last thing I saw was he face. Tears pouring down his cheeks, almost screaming for me. He pounded on the door, pleading for me to open it again, to let it out.

I could do nothing but breakdown.

(Small time skip)

As soon as the moon was up, a beam of silvery light seeping through a crack, I started to hear it. Sitting within the barrier, I could hear everything. I heard Remus go quiet, I could hear nothing but the slight Spring wind.

It was an eerie quiet.

Almost like a horror movie quiet.

I was terrified when hearing the howl-like screams coming from inside the shack.

Claws were upon the door in seconds, trying to rip at the wood, trying to escape from the prison the wolf was being kept in. I could almost hear bones breaking as they realigned, could hear the feral quality to the wolf being caged.

With every howl, with every bang, my heart broke a little more. My baby was scared and practically alone, hurting himself because of this new part of him that he couldn't control. As a mother, I wanted to protect my baby.

I wanted to wrap him in a blanket and keep all the monsters under the bed away from him.

I wanted to take away all the nightmares and the injuries.

I wanted to wrap him in love and never let him feel the sting of pain or hate.

I wanted my baby to be happy, not scared and sad.

With my hands in fists, I placed them on the back of my neck, bending my head down until it was almost touching my knees. I tried to convince myself everything would be alright.

I tried to tell myself that Remus would come out the other end stronger, that it would make him a stronger person.

I hoped that he would turn a bad situation around.

I hoped that he would become a better man than the one I already knew he could be.

(Small time skip)

The moment the sun had risen, I almost ripped the door off its hinges, trying to get to my baby. I found Remus curled up, half in the shadows, completely passed out on the floor, shivering from the contact of his naked skin against the stone floor. New scars were marking him, some still bleeding, others already sealed or starting to seal up.

Grabbing a large, thick blanket from the bag I had brought with me, I placed it over my son before, carefully, picking him up. Remus stirred in my arms, whimpering as his wounds rubbed against the fabric of the blanket.

"Shhh, it's ok, baby. Mummy's here." I whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Walking out of the shack, bending slightly to the bag, I took out a small bottle of water, undoing to lid as slowly as I could so I didn't jostle him. Putting the lip of the bottle to his mouth, I managed to coax him to drink a little, just so he was hydrated.

I should have expected him to guzzle the entire bottle, panting after it was drained.

"Let's get you home, baby." I murmured, softly. "We can get you all healed up. You can have a bath and something to eat. You can go to bed for a little bit. Sound good?"

Remus nodded weakly, barely able to move.

Picking up the bag, hoisting it onto my shoulder, I started to make my way back towards the house. It wouldn't take long to get home, but I wished it was closer, just for Remus' sake.

"Mummy?" Remus asked, sleepily, his voice hoarse and quiet.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" I asked, gently.

"Did I do good?"

Looking down at my baby boy's face, watched his eyes open a tiny slither as he bit at his dry and cracked lip.

He always seemed to be worried about doing well...

"You did amazing, Remus. Mummy is very proud of you." I told him, smiling a softly as I could. "And Mummy loves you very, very much."

"Love... Mummy..." Remus whispered, drifting back into unconsciousness.

END OF FLASHBACK - Back to: Saturday, August 14th 1981 - Remus' POV

I couldn't remember what happened, but I remembered how I felt.

I remembered not wanting to go back to the shack.

I remembered crying and screaming and shaking.

I remembered the nightmares.

But I never remembered the transformations. I never did. It was the one thing I never remembered. I would wake up, with no memory of anything that had happened from the moment the moon came up to when the sun had risen again.

Every full moon it was the same.

"Hey, you doing ok?" Sirius asked, gently from my side, nudging me gently.

"As ok as I can ever be on a full moon." I sighed.

Sirius wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we walked deeper into the woods, pulling me tighter into his side. Every walk we took to the cave always ended up, at some point, with his arm around me.

It was the only thing I liked about the moon.


The next thing I remembered was waking up in bed, clean and in my pyjamas. Everything hurt, I could feel every new wound that was on my body. My head was pounding, as if a hammer was trying to break through my skull, beating on it like a bass drum.

I felt sick. My stomach was doing summersaults, just by me laying there as still as I could. I couldn't understand why it was flipping so much, I couldn't understand why it ached as much as it did.

I could barely move. Every bone, every joint, in my body felt like it had been through the wringer. It felt like there was nothing to them yet, at the same time, they felt like the heaviest objects I had ever been faced with.

I was so tired. I felt like I wanted to sleep for the next couple of years. I didn't want to get up out of bed. I didn't want to move off of the comfy cloud I seemed to be laying on. I couldn't remember the last time my bed felt as soft as it had at that moment. I couldn't remember the last time I didn't want to move from it.

I felt far older than twenty one. I felt as if I was in my eighties, at least. I felt so stiff, I ached and hurt everywhere. Any movement, every breath, was a struggle. It seemed to become a task, instead of a natural thing someone or something would do!

"I wish I was drunk." I groaned, coughing weakly.

"I've always wondered what a drunk wolf would do." Sirius' voice mused from the doorway. "Could be a lot of fun."

"I'd probably feel a lot better than I do now."

Sirius didn't deny or support my statement. He just smiled a little, walking into my room until he could sit in a chair he dragged to the side of my bed. He placed a mug of tea and a plate of buttered toast on my nightstand, gently helping me sit up.

I couldn't understand why he did so much for me...


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