Title: Step At A Time
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: SVU
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: With the fall upon them, Olivia Benson and Brian Cassidy help their young children start a new chapter in their lives. They must work to come to terms with the new challenges and struggles facing them — including Benji's health, middle school, Grade 1 and new developments, colleagues and dynamics at their jobs. All the while they must make the necessary adjustments to their family and work life to operate within their new reality.
The story is set in the Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home, Facing Forward, Best Laid Plans AU.
"Well, I'm not sure who looks more amazed," Dr. Lindstrom allowed her a thin smile. "You or them."
Olivia smiled a little at the comment – slightly embarrassed. But he was right. For all the times she'd had to work a crime scene, deal with Forensics, go over to the M.E.'s office and read final reports – you'd think the little scientific activities they had the kids doing in the 1-hour Spy Training upgrade at Spyscape Museum would've been a little lackluster.
But Olivia had definitely gotten into it – learning to collect and process the evidence and all the chemistry and physics and biology involved. Though, her and Brian had mostly hung back, letting the kids work through solving their case. They'd really only serving as readers when both Benji and Emmy were tripping up on the text in the 'top secret' files they'd been handed. But that hadn't stopped Olivia from absorbing and processing the entire process. And both her and Brian had gotten a kick out of their kids becoming little detectives – even if this was being labeled as a spy science class. Considering their careers usually played second-fiddle to the competition presented by firefighters, marine biologists, astronauts, scientists, comic book artists and super heroes – it was nice to see Benji and Emmy so into it. And nice to hear "Do you do this at crime scenes, Mommy?" and Benji telling his sister over and over again, "Ducky, I told you, Daddy did undercover. That's basically a spy." They were funny. They were the lights of her life in so many ways.
Benji and Emmy had done really well working together to break the code and solve the diamond heist they'd been tasked with solving. Though, they'd given their kids a whole lot of exposure to science and STEM activities – at the library and camps and museum programming like this. And at home. And they'd worked really hard to establish a co-operative and patient relationship between their children. That as much as they fought and bickered – they knew they were a team and could count on each other and work together to an end goal.
Making molds of shoeprints and tire tracks. Dusting for and taking fingerprints. Gathering hair and fiber samples and then processing DNA. Narrowing down the suspect pool. Cracking secret codes. Testing liquids and powders. Analyzing soil samples. Spotting counterfeit currency. Mixing invisible ink. Test tubes and magnifying glasses and cipher wheels and decode glasses and ph strips and graduated cylinders and using blacklights and UV lights and baking soda and citric acid chemistry concepts. Olivia had no qualms about the upgrade fee they'd paid to include this experience for their kids. This was the kind of thing they just ate up.
There'd really only been about two steps in the entire crime solving endeavor that either her or Brian had needed to step in and help explain and clarify the instructions or scientific procedure. But one of them had been dealing with the litmus test – and Brian had caught photographic evidence of their surprised faces as the chemical reaction took place and they'd realized the likely – and unsuspected – culprit of the crime.
Normally, Olivia wouldn't have shown Lindstrom the collection of photos of her family she had accessible on her phone. But when she'd gone into her purse to pull out some paperwork he'd requested from the social work and support group programming she was cautiously wading into at the Children's Hospital, one of the invisible ink pens they'd gotten to keep from the Spy Training had tumbled out. Her and Benji had been leaving secret messages for each other in their work and school bags that week – revealing them with the light on the pen.
Lindstrom had reached out like she was going to offer him the pen to sign the document on the spot after he looked it over. And she'd explained that the pen wouldn't work for the medical forms. But she'd apparently been overly excited about the whole Spyscape experience still – and in the midst of trying to explain some of the interactive, immersive exhibits, she'd found herself opening the photostream on her phone and handing it to him.
She'd been so … wrapped up in reliving, trying to capture a good day for him, after her last session, which she was sure had made her family life, parenting, and the status of her little boy sound like a bit of a train wreck. Even more so than in her usual sessions with him.
But she had enjoyed the day. She was still clinging onto that day on the weekend. A good day. A happy day.
Benji was having a good day that Saturday outing. And lately it felt like those were few and far between in managing his pain and fatigue and the influx in his exposure to germs at school and changing temperatures of the season.
The doctors had already told them they were going to have to be vigilant that cold and flu season – that there was a likelihood that Benji would have a cough and respiratory challenges for most of the coming months as they worked through the autumn and winter months. That there was also a likelihood that those colds and flus his weakened immune system would enviably be compromised by would develop into pneumonia at some point. That he was probably going to have to be on antibiotics and steroids at some point. That they might have some hospital visits for oxygen or fluids or monitoring and managing a fever. And that was all on top of what they'd already been told to expect in his managing the lupus medications and treatments – and the just as evitable flares and the unpredictable symptoms.
So knowing they were looking down a bit of a barrel – knowing how unpredictable their son's stamina and energy and pain levels could be as it was – she was making the most of the day. They all were.
Benji was a smiling and happy little boy. He'd fallen asleep with them on the couch while they were letting the kids get in their Friday night TV time. He'd barely opened his eyes for them to stumble up the stairs and get tucked into bed. And he'd slept through the night and into the morning. Their son was no longer the early riser in their family – and that Saturday morning it'd actually reached the point that Olivia had gone up to check on him and nudge him awake. He'd grumbled at her a bit and she thought they might be in for another off Saturday with Benji but by the time he'd come downstairs for Daddy's Big Breakfast, he was their Benji. Smiley and happy and chatty.
They'd quickly decided to take advantage of that. Benji's birthday weekend had been such a write-off. Between the weather and how achey Benji was – he'd just been grumpy, angry and sad. Getting him out of bed and off the couch – and to even smile – had been a challenge. He hadn't been feeling well at all. So they hadn't attempted much of anything. But while he was stuffing his face with strawberry pancakes that Saturday morning, they'd decided to try again. To take a redo. To take advantage of a day that looked like he was getting to go to be himself. And so they'd offered him the choice of doing Governor's Island with his begged for pricey activities – ziplining, wall climbing, maze runs and mini putt - or going to the Spyscape Museum he'd been asking about for months. One or the other. That was the deal. And it'd really only taken him a moment to decide – Spyscape. And the experience – that morning – had been so unique and memorable, Olivia was so glad he'd picked it. She was so sure that it might be a day they'd be clinging onto for a while. That she'd look back on when they enviably hit on the weekends and nights and days where Benji was in a flare or rundown or just plain sick.
And maybe she'd wanted to showcase that – for Lindstrom to see it too – subliminally, when she'd handed him the phone. Without thinking.
But the reality was she'd never done that before. And she'd sat there realizing that. That she'd been seeing him on and off for nearly six years and now she'd just handed him another window into her life. She'd handed him a new window into who her family was. And despite the casualness of the conversation he was having with her, she'd also felt the shift in the session. She knew he'd be looking at – and picking up – on different things in the photos than just a fun day out with her family. That he'd be collecting stock for later sessions – taking notes after she left – for different areas to pursue based on things he'd seen or read into the pictures she had of herself … her husband, her kids.
"I think what amazes me the most is how the two of them take to it," she offered. "I feel like I'm having to revisit a high school science class that I must've slept through watching how quickly they grasp it. Science – especially chemistry – it's like magic to them."
He gave her another little smile at that. "May I?" he asked, tilting the phone toward her in a silent request to flip through.
She paused – rubbing her eyebrow, even though she knew he'd note that too, her discomfort. But she nodded. "Sure."
He flipped and she heard a video start. The laser dodge room. She knew Benji and Emmy were near bouncing in front of her.
"Mom, Mom," she heard Benji's voice. "Are you filming?"
"I'm filming, Benj," she agreed.
"OK. I'm gonna go in now," he said.
"Jah. We goin' in!" Emmy said.
"We're gonna get like at least a hundred this time!" Benji said. And she knew he was bouncing even harder – just like he did before going on court.
"Yea?" Olivia put back to them and then she knew she'd turned the camera towards Brian who was standing closer to the monitoring screen watching the family ahead of them wildly smack the buttons inside with no regard for the lasers or the lost time they were being penalized with every time they ran into one. Despite their frantic efforts – they definitely weren't racking up the points. Though, there was definitely a learning curve. Benji and Emmy had scored 76 their first time through. It'd immediately prompted them coming back around to try the course again in an attempt to better their score. "You think maybe Daddy should go in this time to help you reach some of the high buttons? Bri?"
And she'd known Brian had turned and looked at her – and she'd known that was likely the first time Lindstrom had seen Brian. When she knew that he'd pulled a goofy face at the camera when he'd spotted she was filming and then had extended his arm into an easy jump shot. And she saw Lindstrom allow the movement a small smile.
"So, got this," Brian said and had reached and massaged at Benji's shoulders like they really were getting ready to enter the game of their lives. "High, low," he'd said pointing off at Emmy. "Medium," he'd massaged Benji a bit more and then nodded at Olivia, "Slow."
"Yea, Mom," Benji urged at her again. "You've gotta go slow. Cuz you can't film and walk into a laser."
"I promise I won't walk into a laser," she muttered at them in a way that Olivia knew she'd rolled her eyes and she knew Lindstrom could likely hear it too.
"Jah, cuz then you have laser burn," Emmy said and then dropped down into a ready army crawl on the dirty floors before the door had even opened for them to enter the room.
"Emily," Olivia sighed.
"You gotta go like dis, Mommy," and she'd scurried forward – almost head first into the door – far faster than Olivia could ever imagine going.
"That's lovely ..." she muttered.
And Brian had chortled and cast her – the camera – a look that contained all kinds of little unspoken innuendo.
Olivia remembered she'd had a quip on the tip of her tongue but the door had buzzed to let them enter and they'd quickly darted in. The rest of the video was her three people slapping at walls and crawling around floors and jumping over laser beams and screeching at Daddy about his head hitting laser beams and her kids rolling around the walls in full-body smacks in the last 10 seconds trying to press as many buttons as possible – Olivia doing her part with the lasers off for those final moments, smacking everything within reach. And then Benji and Emmy staring up at the score screen and declaring, "96! We hafta do it again!"
"Uh-oh," Lindstrom said and gave her a thin smile. "Did you manage to reach 100?"
And she did roll her eyes a little that time. "We managed to reach 114 – when I had two hands to use but wasn't able to document the evidence."
Maybe she should've. Maybe she'd want to remember – and hold onto – that too.
AUTHOR NOTE:
Next chapter will be a continuation. More chatty about the day/weekend and status of Benji, Jack situation and how Olivia feels as a parent and wife in it all.
