Then

Olivia sat in the waiting room, knowing that she was staring into space, but she couldn't stop it. With an exhausted body and an emotionally wrecked mind, all she could do was stare into space and hate herself. It was hard to decide what the worst part of the night was, sleeping with Elliot in hopes of protecting him from Bushido, or calling his wife and telling her that her husband was shot, twice.

Despite all of the open seats in the waiting area, Kathy sat in the one right next to Olivia. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she leaned back, closing her eyes to give them a break from the harsh fluorescent lights. "This is not what I meant when I said I wanted a night without the kids" Kathy sighed with the beginnings of a smile. She opened her eyes and sat upright, turning her attention to Olivia.

"Can I ask you something?" The blonde started.

"Of course" Olivia answered, hoping that Kathy couldn't tell how uncomfortable she was.

"I know that you and Elliot are close, but does he ever tell you what we fight about?"

It felt like a trap. If she told her the truth, Kathy could take it as Olivia working as a double agent, both helping and hurting their marriage; but if she said no, she'd know that Olivia was lying. The worst part was that she knew why Kathy was asking.

"He has a few times" Olivia chose to answer truthfully. Elliot vented to her about their problems several times, but he had only told her Kathy's real problem once. Kathy had accused him of sleeping with Olivia. She didn't believe that they were just partners. The way that he would confide in Olivia made Kathy suspicious. She would refer to Olivia as his "work wife" and not in a friendly manner.

Kathy uncrossed her arms, reaching one hand out to grab Olivia's. "I owe you an apology then. I'm sorry for insinuating that you would sleep with my husband, or any married man for that matter. It's just that you're so smart, and you-you're the type of woman that men want, you know? I guess that instead of talking about the real problems in our marriage that it was easier for me to blame them on you. It wasn't fair of me to do that. You have done so much for not only Elliot, but my family over the years". A few stray tears raced down Kathy's face. "You helped me bring Eli into this world and today you convinced me to give Elliot another chance. I see why you two are so close. It's because you're one of the few genuinely good people in this world".

Olivia felt like she had been hit by a truck. She couldn't let go of the air in her lungs, but she wasn't taking anymore in either. After years of arguments and bitter remarks about her, Kathy chooses today of all days to let it all go?

"There's no need to apologize" Olivia managed to force out after a moment. "Why don't we all just take this as an opportunity to move forward and leave the past in the past?" Olivia proposed, knowing that she would never be able to let go of the guilt of having sex with Elliot, even if it was forced in an undercover operation.

"I'd like that" Kathy nodded. The tears started to fall harder and Olivia awkwardly broke her hold, using her now free hand to squeeze her shoulder. "I'm so scared" Kathy cried.

"Elliot will be okay" Olivia attempted to reassure, even though she didn't know that for sure herself. There had been so much blood...

"I need him to be" Kathy sobbed. "I haven't had a chance to tell him yet" She said as she furiously wiped her tears.

"You're pregnant?"

Kathy shook her head. "I have cancer".

"Detective Benson?" A voice called out, making Olivia jump. Kathy let go of Olivia's hand, quickly standing up.

"That's me" She said as she found the doctor. Her stomach dropped. "Is El-I mean Detective Stabler okay?"

"One bullet went through and through. It missed vital organs ",The doctor started, calming Olivia's nerves the slightest bit. "I extracted the other that was lodged in his bicep".

"So you think he'll make a full recovery?" She asked, shocked that he had such a good prognosis.

"He's already asked to go home. Twice" The doctor said with an amused smile. He started to walk away, but stopped and turned towards her after a few steps. "Oh, and he's been asking for you".

Kathy turned to her and gave her an encouraging smile, trying to tell her that she understood. Elliot asked for Olivia, not her.

"Kathy"

The blonde shook her head. "Olivia I'm not mad. Let me know how he is".

"You were supposed to duck" She teased with a small smile,handing him a rolled up magazine. He was sitting up and wide awake, the exact opposite of how she had found him on the side of the road.

"You were supposed to leave" He fired back, but it was more of a prod than a poke. She was relieved that she was able to engage in their normal banter despite the world crashing down around her. "Liv, I'm sorry that we-"

"It never happened" She cut him off, changing the mood of the room.

"Olivia" He called when she turned to leave.

"Tonight never happened".