AN: Thank you so much for the support! I'm glad you're liking it so far and curious to see where it's going. I think everyone will be suuuuuper shocked by what happens in this chapter. I don't plan on doing a note at the beginning of every chapter, but I just wanted to let you know that I don't plan on going back into the episode "Stranger". I was just using it to establish a timeline. I hope you enjoy and have a great day!
They silently walked to their usual after-work spot, and it wasn't a comfortable silence. Any time their shoulders brushed she would put a foot or two between them, mumbling an apology. He was trying to be understanding, but it was hard for him to come to terms with the fact that eleven years of partnership, no, friendship could end up in such a strained place. Somehow, his hand accidentally brushed hers and her head whipped around so fast that it actually scared him.
"I'm sorry" She nearly whispered, shaking her head. This wasn't the badass Olivia Benson that he knew. The Olivia he knew was confident and bold, never apologizing for taking up space.
Elliot opened the door for her, trying to show her that even though things were tense right now, he was still her friend. Even though that was a lot to communicate by doing the simplest of acts. If words weren't working, it was the best he had. She offered him a small smile, looking him directly in the eyes. Progress.
Olivia went to sit at the bar, but he nodded towards a booth in the far corner. She followed him despite her mind telling her to turn around and run, sliding in without a word. They grabbed the menus that were tucked into the stand at the end of the table, but neither of them even opened them. She was too nervous to eat, and by the look on his face, so was Elliot.
"I know that we've been going through a bit of a rough patch" Elliot started, "but I could really use my best friend right now". She could count the number of times that she had seen Elliot get emotional on one hand, but here he was, nearly breaking down before her. "Kathy has breast cancer". Ever the macho man, he quickly composed himself and looked at Olivia expectantly, waiting for her to say something, anything.
She bit her cheek, knowing that she was about to be caught in the middle of their marriage yet again. "I'm sorry" She sighed, staring down at the table. He knew her better than she knew herself at times, which was not a good thing in this situation.
"You don't sound surprised".
"Elliot-"
"You already knew" He said, shaking his head in disbelief. "When the hell did you-"
"The night of the incident" She cut him off. "Kathy and I were in the waiting room and she was so upset...I don't know why she told me right then but she asked me not to say anything to you".
Elliot crossed his arms over his chest, visibly frustrated. "So you knew and decided not to say anything to me?"
Olivia threw her hands up in frustration. " It wasn't a decision.She asked me not to say anything until you said something to me. What was I supposed to do?" Being thrown into the middle of their marriage was exhausting, and she hated the feeling, but she knew that this was only the beginning.
They were cut off by the waitress stopping by their table to get their drink orders, which was a blessing in disguise because it gave them a moment to cool down.
"I'm sorry" Elliot mumbled.
"Me too".
They sat in silence until the waitress returned with their drinks and took their food order. Olivia knew that she wasn't going to be able to eat anything now, but she would be starving later once her stomach settled.
They started talking about what came next for Kathy, which was a lumpectomy that was scheduled for next Friday. Elliot would be taking off the following Monday and Tuesday to take care of Kathy, and Maureen and Kathleen would alternate days for the rest of the week.
"It's a good thing I have so many kids" He attempted to joke.
Olivia felt herself internally cringe. "Yeah...Good thing".
Olivia was doing her best to stay in the moment and not let her thoughts run, but she couldn't stop thinking about that night. Not only had she slept with another woman's husband, but that woman was battling cancer. Then that same woman poured her heart out to her, apologizing for every false accusation she had ever made, not knowing that she was now right. Things were only going to get worse from here…
For what felt like the millionth time since that night a month and a half ago, Olivia started to panic. Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweaty, feeling like her body was engulfed in invisible flames, Olivia tried to take a sip of her water. The only problem was that the room was spinning and it was too difficult to grab a moving target. The world grew fuzzy, and she could hear Elliot calling her name. She tried to answer him, but the next thing she knew it was lights out.
Elliot tried to catch her as she fell, but he wasn't fast enough. Her body hit the floor with a thud, thankfully she didn't hit her head. Her phone and a couple of other objects flew out of her pocket because of the impact, but he wasn't worried about any of that. He had to make sure that she was okay. He crouched down on the floor, turning her so she was resting on her back. A different waitress ran up to them telling him that she was in nursing school. She rattled off several questions like when was the last time she ate, did she have any medical conditions and so on.
"Not that I know of" Elliot stammered.
"Well she's pregnant" The waitress said matter of factly. She grabbed the piece of plastic that had fallen out of Olivia's pocket and handed it to him. It all started to make sense, the vomiting, pulling away from him, refusing to look him in the eyes.
"El?" Olivia groaned as she came to.
He shoved it in his pocket before helping her to sit up so she could take a few sips of water. Once she was able to stand, he made the executive decision to take their food to go so he could take her home and get her into bed.
"Elliot, I am fine. I swear" Olivia insisted as he helped her settle down on the couch. "It's just-"
"The morning sickness making it hard to keep anything down?" He filled in with a stern look on his face.
"What?" She asked, not because she didn't hear him, but because she was confused. Her face fell when he pulled the pregnancy test out of his pocket.
"This fell out of your pocket when you fainted" He explained, handing it back to her. "These don't last very long, so you had to have taken that before we left work".
Olivia could only nod. This was not how she envisioned telling him. "I was going to tell you. That's why I took it, for proof. I knew that you'd want to see it for yourself. Then you started talking about Kathy and I couldn't bring myself to tell you". She looked down at the test, seeing those two little lines again, bringing tears to her eyes. She willed them away, not wanting to cry about it again.
"How long have you known?" He asked, sitting down next to her.
"A week" She answered honestly. "My period was late…" She drifted off, knowing that he had been through this four times before with Kathy. "Elliot, I understand if you don't want anything to do with the baby. You didn't choose this and it's all my fault. You already have so much going on with Kathy and the kids".
"I can't pretend that my kid isn't my kid Olivia".
She expected him to be angry, to yell or punch the wall. She expected him to storm out of her apartment and leave her, but not because that's what Elliot Stabler would do. She expected these things because she felt like that's what she deserved. To her surprise, Elliot wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for their fourth ever hug, and for the first time since this shit show started, Olivia felt hopeful that everything would be alright.
"I just don't understand why this is happening" She sighed as she pulled away from him. "I was on the pill and I took Plan B the next morning. There's nothing else that I could've done to prevent this...If I had just stayed out of your marriage I could stay out of your marriage".
Elliot was feeling guilty. If he had even considered his wife before going undercover, Olivia never would have to swoop in and save their marriage. The fact of the matter was that he let both women could focus on that tonight when he wouldn't be able to sleep.
"Have you been to an obgyn?" He asked, needing to distract himself from his own thoughts.
"Of course, El. We did a blood test to confirm the pregnancy, but my first ultrasound isn't until next week".
"When is it?"
Olivia's eyes went wide as she shook her head. "Elliot I know what you're thinking. You cannot go".
"Olivia this is my child and I-"
"Elliot I understand that but you can't come". She saw the exact moment that he put two and two together, dropping his head into his hands and scrubbing his face in frustration.
"It's next Friday, isn't it?" He needlessly asked, knowing damn well that it was. Of course it was. That's how his life was working out at this point, and he shouldn't have expected it to go any differently. "I'm screwed".
