CHAPTER TEN: REMEMBER
The nearly full moon shined bright above the desert, painting it silver. Kiara and Kovu split from Timon and Pumbaa, running around ahead, chasing one another and giggling while Timon was riding Pumbaa behind them.
"Will you two lovebirds calm your hormones now, please?" Timon complained, but a tiny bit of endearment in his voice was giving him away. "We are almost there."
"Sure, sorry," Kovu responded and began quietly chattering with Kiara about something after which they both burst out laughing.
"What was that?!" Timon asked.
They just shook their heads while laughing.
"Nothing," Kiara yelled back. "An inside joke."
"Well, if you don't keep more quiet with your inside jokes, some predator could show up and rip our insides," Timon complained.
"Come on, Timon," Pumbaa protested. "Don't you think we should let them-"
"Pumbaa," Timon interrupted. "My slow-minded friend, someone needs to be a voice of reason around here. Just think of how many times I've pulled us out of trouble."
"You mean Simba pulled us out of trouble," Pumbaa directly responded, creating an awkward silence.
"Yeah," Timon broke the silence after a few seconds. "Simba too."
...
Eventually, they reached the jungle. It was still night. A quiet one, sprinkled with shining stars. As exhausted as they all felt, Kiara and Kovu felt like they could take on the world.
"Alright, we're gonna go hit the hay," Timon said, yawning.
"We will take a short walk, it won't be long," Kiara said.
"Okay, lovebirds. Don't wander too far away."
"Do be careful," added Pumbaa.
"I will take care of him," Kiara playfully remarked.
"I will take care of her," Kovu talked over her at the same time and they both chuckled.
They walked away steadily, but not slowly. Carefully, but without tension. No running around like usual made it feel like things were finally getting serious. Though, they didn't feel sad about it. They felt bold, ready and happy that they got to experience the things they did.
The past was gone, but still living in it would be like living a lie. Their minds worked differently now. If they continued living the way they've lived up until that point, it would feel unnatural and they knew that. Even with a tinge of fear, even with the shadow of Simba's death still looming over them, they felt like they were ready to take on whatever was thrown at them.
"How are you feeling?" Kovu asked.
"I'm okay," Kiara responded. "I still really miss him, but I really have to move on. Our pride is more important than my grief."
"I miss him too," Kovu said. "Things will never be the same again."
"No," Kiara agreed. "They won't. But that doesn't mean they will be bad. It's new, but if we try, maybe it will be good in its own way."
Kovu turned to Kiara with a sappy smile. "Yes. I think it will."
...
The following morning, Kiara woke up first and woke everyone else up soon after. Once they all properly came to their senses, they began their look-out.
Kiara and Kovu sneaked quietly, but no one was around. The jungle was like nothing ever happened. The sun beams were shining through gaps in the leaves, leaving golden trails, making the jungle look as idyllic as ever. While everything around seemed to change, the jungle felt like it was still frozen in the past. That same, old, careless past, unspoiled by the recent events. The past that here seemed comforting and indestructible.
The four of them kept on looking around for the rest of the day, doing occasional breaks that were becoming more and more relaxed. By the end of the day, they finally made sure no one was there, but still kept wandering around, talking, joking, and just enjoying themselves. At sunset, they all sat by one of the many ponds they came across on their way, Timon and Pumbaa even getting in, and talking about adventures Timon and Pumbaa had with Simba as a kid; all the trouble he gave them, all the dumb things they all did together, and they were all laughing. Simba was no longer this thing they didn't want to talk about to remind each other of the pain, or talk about out of necessity to stop having these feelings. He was there and they were happy to acknowledge it. The fact that it was over didn't mean that all the happy memories had to become sad. Their voices still got bittersweet here and there, but still filled with peace and acceptance.
"I still don't know how I survived when Simba and Pumbaa dropped on me," Timon said.
Kovu chuckled. "Good thing he was still a cub, so he wasn't really that heavy."
"He was heavier than me, that's for sure."
"You complained about it for hours," Pumbaa added.
"I tried to scold him, but the two of you seemed to be too busy laughing at me. Well, at least he still turned out well."
There was silence, but not the uncomfortable kind.
"Well," Kiara started. "Did he ever feel bad when he'd do something naughty?"
"Oh yes, but that would usually come at night and that was a problem because the poor kid was so scared and he would remember Mufasa's death and you just couldn't stay mad at him. You should have seen him, the little chap, all soft and cuddly. Apologizing for whatever he did that day, shedding a tear or two, and then we'd have a little talk and go back to sleep and all would be right in the world."
Kovu smirked. "Seems like you guys really had a great time all together. He was lucky to have you."
Timon nodded, rubbing his glassy eyes. "And we were lucky to have him."
Once the sun had set and the horizon was painted in the shades of pink and purple, pouring into deep blue as the sky went east, they walked some more and Kovu noticed a clearing in the distance, sprawling far beyond towards emerging rocks and mountains.
"What is that?" Kovu asked.
"I don't know, we never went there," Timon said. "Seemed really rocky and this place was already perfect for us. But it might actually be a really decent land."
"You think there's life there?" Kovu spoke. "Another kingdom, like the Pride Lands?"
"Maybe that is where Scar came from. Maybe he made himself a home there," Kiara suggested.
"Maybe," agreed Timon.
"Didn't Rafiki go there once?" asked Pumbaa.
"Pumbaa, how am I supposed to know?" Timon asked back.
"I think he mentioned it once. He even had a name for it..."
"The Mountain Lands," Kiara responded.
Timon was the first to talk after a short silence. "I knew that."
"You think there is another habitable land there?" Kovu asked.
"Probably," Kiara replied. "But it's not ours to think about right now."
"No," said Kovu. "It's not."
...
In the middle of another warm, gentle night, Kovu sneaked out while everyone was asleep. As expected, no one noticed. Timon, Pumbaa and Kiara slept tight, but Kovu kept waking up and since he just didn't feel like rolling around trying to fall back asleep, he went for another walk under the starry sky.
On the nights since the battle, when he was left alone with his thoughts, his mind would usually go straight to Simba. He would look up to the skies and wonder if Simba was really there and if Simba once looked up at the stars the same way and thought about Mufasa. And if with that, he thought about how he could possibly live up to him. Because Kovu, too, wondered about all these things.
Kovu emerged from the thick bushes to come to the waterfall pouring into a small pond with stones peeking on the surface and leading a path across. The leaves stroked Kovu's fur and mane as he got out to approach the pond. The water seemed to reflect the magical shine of the night sky. The great kings of the past. Kovu turned his head up towards the stars.
"How did you do it, Simba?" Kovu asked, still looking up. "How?"
As he let his thoughts linger in the dead silence of the night, the silence was broken out of nowhere by a shushing noise behind him. Kovu turned his head over his shoulders carefully, almost getting into a pouncing position, but not quite. It was like something within him told him there was no need to be attentive.
"Simba?" he asked into the dark.
While he was looking into the thicket, he felt something pulling his tail, hearing a familiar laugh.
"Rafiki!" Kovu exclaimed in surprise as he turned around to find the bushes in the front still moving.
"Wait, don't go!" Kovu called out, jumping on the rocks, accidentally dipping his right back leg in the water, and immediately pulling it back on the surface so as not to fall in completely.
Kovu could still hear the laugh in the distance, but it grew more and more distant.
"Come back here, please!" Kovu desperately yelled, but the voice was gone and the night was quiet again.
As he finally stopped to pull himself together, he thought about how dream-like this whole situation seemed. Like he fell asleep for a little bit.
Kovu still looked around frantically, but the only noise heard at this point was his heavy breathing and crickets chirping around. The confusion and frustration building up inside of him were giving him an urge to roar, so he took a few moments to just breathe. With each breath, his heart was beating a little bit slower. The tension wasn't exactly out of his system, but he concluded that it was for the best to go back to sleep.
On his way back, it was still a usual, regular, quiet night under the stars. Usually, Kovu liked that, but he was dying to hear that familiar laugh again. And to see Rafiki or Simba. He needed someone to guide him because he wasn't sure if he could do so himself. There was too much responsibility. While he knew Simba struggled the same way, he just couldn't bring himself to feel like it was the right time for him. It was all so sudden.
Thinking of all this, Kovu surprisingly managed to let the dark take him away into the untouchable realm of dreams.
...
Kovu suddenly woke kicking into the waking state. Whatever happened, he began realizing it was just a dream, but he was in that state of mind between a dream and a reality, trying to figure out what exactly was a dream and what was real until he started forgetting the dream.
However, something inside made him feel like the dream was important, or at the very least pleasant. He shut his eyes again, concentrating hard on remembering what he dreamed about. After some seconds, he remembered chasing after someone, or something. But something was stopping him from getting there, from reaching whatever it was he was running after. It was another lion. As he concentrated harder, the dream started coming to him in its full sequence. The lion was Kovu himself, but wild to the point that it was hard to recognize that it was him. There was something about the other Kovu that made him look terrifying and dangerous as he snarled. He was filthy and covered in wounds, as if neglected.
In the dream, all Kovu could feel was paralyzing fear. When Kovu tried to approach his other self, he only seemed to snarl harder. And so Kovu humbly took a few steps away and stood in place. The lion's snarling quieted down and he passed right by Kovu. That was the last thing he could remember.
"Morning, sleepy-head," Kovu heard Kiara's voice and widely opened his eyes in surprise, realizing he had dozed off again.
"Morning..." he muttered out, his eyes almost falling back shut.
"Uh-uh-uh, no more sleeping."
"Fine," Kovu groaned and smiled at her, slowly getting up and stretching. Opening his eyes a bit more, he noticed that Timon and Pumbaa weren't there. "Where are Timon and Pumbaa?"
"They went to Timon's meerkat unit, just for a visit."
Kovu playfully giggled. "So we're alone?"
Kiara smirked. "We've got all morning and afternoon just for ourselves."
...
As the morning changed into afternoon, Kiara and Kovu were still spending most of their day alone, walking around and enjoying their alone time.
"Kovu, I suggest we go back tonight," Kiara suddenly said after a short silence.
"Tonight?" Kovu wondered, sounding more surprised than he intended.
"How much longer did you want to stay?"
"Well, I guess...I...maybe..." Kovu sighed. "I don't know."
"You seem distant today, what's wrong? I mean, what exactly?" Kiara worried.
"I think I'm onto something here. Like I'm looking for something, or chasing after it. But I can't tell what it is," Kovu confessed.
"What do you mean by that?"
"It's hard to explain. But it's like something is going on, like some change is coming. It might all be inside of me, it might be something from the outside, I don't know. But I know that it will help me."
Kiara looked at him, still visibly a bit confused, but with an understanding nod. "Alright. But remember, we can't stick for too long."
"I won't allow it to drag on, don't worry."
"Well," Kiara smirked. "It's not like I have a particular problem with staying with you for a bit more here."
They stood and looked around themselves for a bit when they got to a small clearing with the pond that they were at with Timon and Pumbaa the day before, the sun rays touching its surface.
"It's beautiful," Kovu said.
"It is. And it's also really hot out here," Kiara responded and swiftly pushed Kovu into the pond, giggling like a little cub.
Kovu staggered and fell with a surprised look on his face, his wet head immediately emerging out, his mane falling over his eyes.
Kiara chuckled and while yelling, jumped next to him, almost onto him.
The splashes of water and their joyful voices echoed in a peaceful jungle afternoon.
...
Once Timon and Pumbaa came back and they were all going back to sleep again, Kovu sneaked out, going for another walk, being careful to walk the exact same path that he walked through the last time until he reached the pond and stood at the small path leading across.
He sighed. "Where are you?"
Silence.
"Are you even here?"
Silence again.
"Is this you, or is it just me?" Kovu wondered as he shut his eyes, hoping for things to be different once he opened them, hoping there would be answers waiting for him. "Please. I need to know."
"But you know that already," a familiar voice was heard.
Rafiki's voice.
Kovu opened his eyes wide in surprise and felt a stick smack his head.
"What?" Kovu looked around, focusing on his night vision to be as clear as it could be. He saw a familiar silhouette standing on the other side of the rocky path, surrounded by grass.
"Rafiki," Kovu half-whispered. "Rafiki!"
Kovu wanted to laugh like crazy and almost made a step, but in the end didn't dare. He didn't want Rafiki to go away.
"Why won't you let me approach you?"
"Maybe I want to be the one approaching you. What's the rush?" Rafiki answered adding his usual manic chuckle at the end.
"I want to know what this all means. What I should do."
Rafiki leaned on his stick and used it to lift himself up from the sitting position, limping towards Kovu. Rafiki's face was almost visible at this point, but he lifted his index finger.
"Uh-uh, don't look at me now, look down here," Rafiki said, rippling the water with his stick.
Kovu looked into the water, ready and eager to see whatever the answer was.
But as the water stilled, Kovu only saw his own reflection staring back.
"What? I don't understand," Kovu shook his head. "This was supposed to give me answers, but all I see is me."
"Aah, you see? I told you that you already knew the answer," Rafiki said, his voice filled with pride. "You don't need me anymore. I'll send your regards to Simba."
"Rafiki, wait!" Kovu yelled, but as he turned, the mandrill was no longer there. Nowhere, wherever Kovu turned his head.
But another sound was to be heard, coming from the bushes and the grass. The sound of snarling. Snarling that Kovu remembered from his dream and instantly recognized like he was hearing it every day.
Kovu stood still as his own face, but still not exactly his own face, emerged from the grass. Once again, first thing Kovu felt was fear, but then he decided to concentrate. He focused on the lion, not giving away any expression whatsoever as the lion continued snarling.
And so, he was suddenly both of them. The lion was him and he was the lion. And they both sat, facing each other, no fear, no nothing. Just an acknowledgement of one another. Acknowledgement and acceptance of one another's existence.
They were parts of the same whole and Kovu accepted it.
He finally knew what to do.
