Quick Note: Most of the time my updates won't be this frequent but I wanted to get a few of my first chapters out there to get the ball rolling. This has been hidden in my folders for awhile and I would only write it for me, but I'm working on being brave and open with what I do, so I just want to put some of my stuff out here! Let me know what you think!
When Eleanor went to bed that night, she knew that she would not sleep. She was completely heartbroken. And although she was exhausted from the emotionally trying hours she had experienced, her mind was swimming with too many thoughts.
Draco offered to stay on the floor of her room, which Eleanor found extremely endearing that her friend would go out of his way and be uncomfortable so that she would not be alone. However, Eleanor declined his offer and set him up in the guest bedroom right next to her room. She promised to go to him if she needed anything, but the truth was she just wanted to read that letter that her parents had left her with the will, she wanted to know what they had to say to her.
As much as Eleanor wanted to read it, she took her time eyeing it. She was in one of her father's shirts, she was showered and had done everything that one could possibly do before ending their nightly routine. So now Eleanor just paced in front of her bed, looking at her name written in her mother's beautiful hand. This was it. These were their last words to her, and once she read them, they would have nothing more to say.
Biting firmly on her thumb nail, Eleanor stopped herself mid-pace and finally forced herself to sit down and open the damn thing. She was disappointed at the lack of pages she found inside the envelope, part of her expecting a long, grandiose, novel-type letter. But that simply wasn't so.
Our Dearest Eleanor,
If you're reading this, it means that your father and I have passed before your 17th birthday. The first thing we would like to say to you is we are so incredibly sorry that we can no longer be there for you in a physical sense, but we want to remind you that we are always in your heart if you choose to carry us along-we hope you do.
All three of us do not do very well with things that are not planned. We should have prepared you better for the reality of life, that things get messy and surprises happen often. We hope that despite the sorrow you are sure to be feeling, you will find the strength to continue being the wonderfully kind, and loving young woman that we know you to be. We also hope that you will not be afraid to ask for help if you need it. We like to think that we know you quite well after these past years, so we know how you don't ask for help. You need to, darling.
We have a few pieces of advice and information to give you. As hard as we might've tried, we were not the perfect parents in many ways. We tried to leave you with some protection. The spells set up around the Castle are very old spells and have been in place for a long while. Only you can lift the spells protecting yourself from the outside world when you are ready. Be especially cautious of those you allow entrance to. Even people you love and trust might not be who they say they are. It is best to protect yourself for a while.
We also know that you are probably confused as to why we did not leave you with a specifically stated guardian. Lucius and Narcissa are our best friends, and we know Draco is a very good friend of yours as well. The reason we did not name them your guardians has nothing to do with them, and nearly all to do with you. You are kind, and warm and intelligent and mature beyond your years. You are more equipped to be on your own than you would be for adjusting to environment that the Malfoys have in their home.
There is something that your father and I planned on telling you when you came of age. Unfortunately, we will not be there when that happens. We didn't keep this from you out of spite or because we wanted to hurt you. All parties involved agreed that it would be best if this part of your life stayed a secret until you were old enough to make sense of it Your father and I were unable to have children, though we so desperately wanted children. You are not biologically ours. Your biological father is a man named Remus Lupin, we believe you have met him before. He has a condition that prevents him from raising a child, and we could not have children ourselves. Your mother is a muggle, however, she has no recollection of your birth, or her relationship with Mr. Lupin. Legally, we leave you in the care of him, however with the assets we leave you, there is no reason for you to meet him if you do not feel comfortable doing so.
We have always felt guilty about not telling you the truth, but we did not want to confuse you and Mr. Lupin did not wish to get in the way of our family. Now that we are gone, we suggest you reach out to the man, however that choice is entirely up to you.
We trust you. We love you. We miss you greatly. We are always with you. We will meet again someday our sweet, sweet Eleanor.
Love Always,
Mum and Dad
Eleanor was shaking. She was confused. She couldn't make sense of the contents of the letter. She read it and reread it. Her eyes were glassy with tears. Everything she thought about her childhood wasn't true. Her parents, her dearly beloved parents, weren't even genuinely related to her. Their blood wasn't in her veins. They were gone from the earth, and Eleanor wasn't even left as their legacy.
At first, Eleanor thought she was angry with her parents for not telling her, but she quickly realized that her old professor would not have been able to raise her, and she wouldn't trade her childhood for anything. Eleanor wanted to second guess her whole life up to this point, but she couldn't. She knew her parents loved her and gave her a good life whether or not they were the actual people to give her life. They didn't steal her from anywhere. They gave her a fighting chance that, perhaps, her biological parents could not have.
It made sense then why her parents were never really fans of Professor Lupin. Or why her former professor was withholding from her at first, and why he took such a liking to her once she broke his barrier down. She understood why Lupin could not have taken care of her, especially if her biological mother was not in the picture. However, knowing that her mother was not around did not stop Eleanor from wondering who this woman might have been.
Eleanor's curiosity was piqued, however she had to remind herself that these two virtual strangers would not complete her or replace the void in her heart. Eleanor could not get her hopes up for a miraculous healing from the loss of her two real parents, her best and oldest friends. She knew that her parents had left her with this information so that she could have someone, a parent-like figure, to help her through. But deep in her heart, Eleanor knew that meeting Lupin once again would only awaken a new part of her identity, and not bring peace to her grieving heart.
Eleanor set down the letter and took a deep breath. Her mind was cluttered and confused. Of course she wanted to reach out and talk to her biological father, but she wanted to do so at a time that was respectful to her real father. No matter how much she respected or grew to like Lupin, he would never replace the father that raised her; her first love and biggest supporter.
While Eleanor sat on her bedroom floor, reeling from shock, there was a knock on her door. Eleanor wiped her eyes quickly, and shot up to put her letter on the table beside her bed.
"Come in." She called out, not realizing before how shaky her voice was. Eleanor tried to climb onto her bed casually to give the illusion that she had not been on the ground in tears moments before. Draco walked in, looking shocked by the light and looking half asleep.
"Hey." Eleanor said quietly, clearing her throat a bit. Draco didn't move past the door frame.
"Hey." Draco repeated. "I was just going to the bathroom, I saw that your light was still on. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
Eleanor smiled up at her friend, grateful for his thoughtfulness, despite being a bit shocked by it. "I'm alright." Eleanor nodded.
"I could stay here, if you wanted." Draco offered, looking as though he didn't really want to stay, but that he should have at least offered.
"I'll be okay, Draco." Eleanor cracked a smile, trying to prove that she really was alright to be left alone for a few hours.
Draco nodded once more, unsure of what to say next. "Would you want to go out to breakfast tomorrow? My treat."
"Tired of my cooking already, hmm?" Eleanor raised a brow, her watery eyes gave away that she had been crying but her playful tone still sounded like her, and Draco was grateful he could still see Eleanor despite her being heartbroken.
"The final product is fine, watching you is more stress than I think I could handle that early in the morning." Draco smirked at her, leaning on the doorframe and crossing his arms. He was delighted to see Eleanor laugh at his jokes. She tucked a strand of her long brown locks behind her ear.
"Breakfast sounds good." Eleanor nodded. "But you're daft if you think it is your treat." She challenged. Draco appreciated the spark in her words, and though he knew there would be furthering arguing about it the next morning, he let it rest there.
"Alright, we'll make a day of it." Draco nodded, pushing himself off the door frame and turning to leave.
"You know, you're a really good friend, Draco. You have a good heart when you aren't being a total prick." Eleanor smiled at her friend before he left her room.
Draco grabbed the doorknob and began closing her door with a smile. "That's the catch, though. I am a total prick."
Eleanor held up her thumb and pointer finger an inch or so apart and smiled at him. "Just a little one." She lowered her hand, and looked into his cold eyes that weren't so cold when he met hers. "Really, Draco. You're a good person. You care about people."
Draco looked almost guilty as he looked at the ground. He couldn't understand how she, Eleanor, the best person he knew, Eleanor, who cared about anyone and everyone, Eleanor, who loved widely and unconditionally, could ever think that Draco was a good friend, or a good person. He didn't understand her. He didn't think he ever would. He wanted to fight her, to show her that she was wrong. He wanted to tell her that she was too forgiving, too loving, too hopeful for the world. The world would squash her, ruin her. He would squash her, ruin her. But he didn't fight her, not that time. He knew how much she loved to be right, so he just let it rest.
"Just don't let the word get out." He finally said quietly, before returning to his room to spend the rest of the night thinking about her.
