I want to apologize for how long it has been since my last update. This chapter was a difficult one for me and honestly I can't wait until we get to the good stuff. I had planned on making this chapter MUCH longer but I realized it had been almost a month and decided to just split it up. Bakugou's thought process was hard to map out since in canon he's just an ass because of bullshit reasons so I made sure I came up with why he is the way he is and how I wanted his character to develop. I really hope you all enjoy this chapter and I will definitely try to make the wait for the next chapter LESS than a month. :)

Enjoy!


Inko fawned over her son as soon as he stepped through the door. She gushed over his hair cause him to mumble small 'thank yous' as he headed to his room. His skin was itchy and after all it had been almost two months since he had a proper bath.

He grabbed some pajamas and headed for the bathroom. He set them on the counter and started running the water. Stripping off his shirt he caught a glance of himself in the mirror. He had been oblivious to the marks littering his skin. Maybe he had been subconsciously ignoring them until now.

Izuku stared at his small frame in the mirror. Most of the scars were small,scratches really, the majority of them on his left side where he landed. There were three scars that stood out. The first of course was across his face. Next was his left arm and wrist. The thick pink of the scar where his palm and wrist connected, and stretched almost perfectly straight stopping midway up his forearm. Last was a huge jagged split on his back vertically over his shoulder blade.

His fingers grazed over each one and his cruel mind replayed how each one was individually made. Only this time he wasn't paralyzed. The feeling he felt now was almost akin to pleasure. Honestly, it was nice for him to feel something other than anger all the time. Even when he had that talk with his father, it was only anger or pain. I wonder if this is how Kacchan feels all the time.

The thought startled him and rage boiled over from within. Why do I keep thinking of that ASSHOLE. Instinctively Izuku's fist shot out and punched the mirror. There was a crunch and then soft pings as shards of glass hit the porcelain sink. He kept his hand in place panting heavily. His other hand gripped the side of the sink for balance. The blood rushing in his ears, thumping with each heartbeat.

"Izuku, sweetheart, are you okay?"

The concern in his mother's voice ripped him back to reality. He could tell by the volume of her voice that she was right outside the door. All senses rushed back to him and the sound of water rushing flooded his ears. "Shit." Izuku mumbled under his breath as he darted to cut the water off before it overflowed. "Yeah, mom, I'm fine. I accidentally broke the mirror though." He knew she was going to find it either way and there was no way he could replace it without anyone knowing.

"Can I come in?"

Izuku let out a huff. Might as well. Reluctantly he reached for the door handle and slowly pulled it open. The small gasp his mother let out made him wince slightly. "Oh, Izu-" She cut herself off, grabbing his hand and examining it. "What happened?" Her emerald eyes darted up to meet his.

He gave her a sheepish grin and shrugged. "I tripped." He lied.

The look Inko Midoriya gave her son could best be described as irritated disbelief. She flipped his hand over in hers gently, assessing the damage. "Let me grab the first aid kit." She shuffled out of the room.

Izuku lifted himself to sit on the counter, legs slightly swinging over the side. He slid deep in thought again. A lot has changed, huh. He looked over his hand. There wasn't much blood but it left him fascinated. He poked and prodded the small wounds, light pain shooting through his knuckles. Again, it was almost pleasurable. He kept fiddling with it until he heard his mother approaching.

She reentered the bathroom and stood in front of her son pulling his hand from him. She carefully pulled the small shards of glass from his knuckles and deposited them on the counter. While she was trying to concentrate on his hand, she couldn't help but give him a once over now that she had calmed down.

Izuku noticed her eyes lingering over the scars sprawled across his chest, at which he scowled. She could never hide the concern on her face, especially not from him. It made his heart ache. He knew she would never not worry, she was his mother after all, but it still pained him to see her that way. His mother was the only woman- no. Person- that he cared for. She was the only one to love, care and support him. Not his classmates. Not his teachers. Not Kacchan. Not even his father. She was there when no one else was. She was his entire world, the only thing that truly mattered.

Izuku also knew he had changed, and was continuing to change. He was not the same bubbly, nervous, meek child he used to be. This whole experience changed everything, in some ways he didn't quite understand yet. His mother would notice these changes, maybe a part of her already had. But, he wanted to make sure he understood. Make sure she wasn't blindsided, or worried more than normal. His mind grasped at words hanging in the air, trying to find the right ones.

Still concentrating on bandaging his hand, Inko spoke. "Izuku, I know you know this.. but if you ever need to talk-"

"Mom?" He cut in. His voice meek like when he was a child.

Inko raised her eyes to meet her son's. They were sad, but at least resembling some kind of emotion. She stared intently into them, waiting for the response to follow.

"I- I.." He looked to side before closing his eyes, and sighed deeply. He met her gaze and spoke again. "I want you to know that I love you."

She softened. "Izuku, sweetie, of course I know that."

A breath of relief escaped his lips. "I know you do. I just- I need to tell you even if I don't want to talk about it. I know you worry, and if I can lessen that even a little bit, then it's all worth it." His eyes searched hers for understanding. "These past couple months have changed everything. I've changed. And I'm not sure what all that entails just yet, but I wanted to let you know. I'm going to need space, and I'm going to need to do things to help myself that may not lessen your worries, but I need you to trust me enough to let me make these decisions for myself."

She had finished bandaging his hand now and held it gently in hers. With a soft smile and tears stinging at the corners of her eyes, she looked at him. "I understand. I trust you."

Izuku watched as small, silent tears slid down his mother's face. "Mom-"

"My baby is growing up." She cupped both of his cheeks in her hands and let out a wet chuckle at the silly smile that slipped on his face. He grabbed at her wrists and nestled his face into her hands before he gently rested his forehead on her shoulder. She pet his hair and rested her cheek on his head. They stayed that way for what felt like hours.

Izuku did not sleep much that night. While finally being clean felt amazing, it didn't do much in aiding him to relax. He finished catching up on school work within an hour and spent the next three hours on his computer doing research. He pulled the slip of paper with the address on it out of his hospital bag and tapped away at his keyboard looking at the building in the maps. It seemed to be some kind of rundown gym.

Ding

An email pinged and piqued his interest. There was no known sender and the email itself was encrypted. It didn't take long for him to figure out and soon simple text was scrawled across the screen.

The only thing that it listed was a locker number and stated to arrive early the next morning. That was going to be tough. His mother wasn't going to like that, and he could care less what his father thought. Izuku glanced at the clock. It was nearly four in the morning. Even if he went to sleep now, he could only get two hours if he was lucky. He sighed and decided he wasn't getting any sleep.

He flipped the switch on his computer, effectively turning it off. He ran a hand through his hair. Sleep would have been nice. At least then he wouldn't have to think so much. He glanced around the room at all the All Might memorabilia. A place of comfort had become so foreign to him now. He stood from his desk and dug around in his closet until he found one of the large boxes folded in the corner. He carefully unfolded it and placed it on the floor.

The green haired teen began carefully removing all the posters from the walls. He may have hated All Might, but he could still give his things away to someone who wanted them. Packing away all the items took about an hour. After which, Izuku's room was pretty bare but at least it felt more like home. He closed up the box and set it on his bed. He would probably take it off to be donated later.

He took a seat on the edge of his bed next to the bed. His mom would be up within the hour. He dug through his clothes and decided on his dark green track suit. Choosing was difficult. Most of his clothes didn't accurately portray his tastes anymore. He gathered his clothes and headed for the shower.

The shower wasn't as relaxing as he would have hoped. While it brightened him up a bit, it was also a place for thought, which was something he had actively been trying to avoid. The thoughts in his mind had almost passed him in a blur. He wondered whether or not his mom would be okay with this. She had to be, and he had a feeling she would relent anyway after their conversation last night. Alternatively, he also thought about what today would hold. Would he get his quirk today? He doubted it, but his heart still fluttered at the thought. He knew this arrangement would be them mutually using each other but the details were unclear as of yet. Izuku did know he wanted him to get into UA so he assumed his usefulness was at least partial to that. A quirk was everything to him, so he would do just about anything for that.

After his encounter with All Might, he had started to realize a lot of heroes were in the profession for the wrong reasons. They wanted money and fame. Izuku, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to save others but now he had realized that some people were beyond saving. That made things complicated.

He could hear his mother in the kitchen as he left the bathroom. As he entered the living area, his father was still asleep sprawled across the couch. A blanket was loosely draped across him and his glasses were neatly folded on the table in front of him. The man may have been Where Izuku got his smarts from but he sure looked like an idiot sometimes.

He had to suppress a smirk as he entered the kitchen. "Good morning." His voice came out much more upbeat than he felt. He flashed a bright smile at his mother who was slightly startled at her sons presence.

"Oh! Good morning, sweetie." She returned his smile. She hadn't seen it in so long.

"I see Dad is still passed out." He let out a breath almost resembling a chuckle.

Inko stretched a small smile. "I think he had trouble sleeping last night. Here." She handed him a bowl of rice and placed a fried egg on top. She grabbed her own bowl and nodded at Izuku to sit at the table.

They sat across from each other, Izuku crossing his legs. He lifted his chopsticks and picked at his food. He was starving but he was also weary of what he had to ask his mother. "I need to talk to you about something."

She lifted her head in response and made a soft humming sound letting him know to continue. "Do you remember what the doctors said about me doing workouts?"

Inko nodded as she swallowed a mouthful of rice. "I do." Her voice was soft but her eyes were questioning.

The green haired teen stared at her intently trying to gauge her expression. "Well, I was thinking about going to a gym." The first sentence came out smoothly but the rest was Izuku muttering like his normal self. Luckily, Inko was so used to this that she could understand him. "I found one in the city. It's an hour train ride away but the specialize in helping people without quirks. It's a little run down but the fee is pretty cheap and I-" He took a second to catch his breath. "I was wondering if I could go. Today." He searched her face waiting for a reply.

"Today?" She placed her chopsticks down. "Mitsuki and Katsuki were going to stop by today. Can't you go tomorrow?"

Izuku sighed and let his face fall. "It was just really important to me. And honestly-" he took a shaky breath and looked at her pleadingly. "I- I don't really want to see anyone. Especially Kacchan." The name came out with more disgust than he had intended.

His mother raised an eyebrow but Izuku hung his head. He knew she was looking at him, but he couldn't meet her gaze. A soft sigh escaped her lips. "Is this what you really want to do?"

He didn't lift his head but Izuku nodded furiously. This was all he wanted at the moment. "Then who am I to say no?" His head whipped up at that. A soft smile graced Inko's lips. She saw as a light of excitement danced in his eyes. This is what he needed. She was startled when he all but threw himself across the table and wrapped his arms around her. She chuckled softly and patted his head. He released her and began scarfing down his food, the smile never leaving his face.

He finished quickly and placed his bowl in the sink. He had already given his mom the address, in hopes it would calm her nerves. He threw on his favorite red sneakers and started toward the door. His mother not far behind him. "Be careful, Izu." She mused.

"Of course!" He flashed a smile at her. "Oh! There's a box on my bed. If Katsuki wants it he can have it. There's a lot of memorabilia in it." He paused before enveloping his mother in another huge hug. "Thanks, mom." He murmured into her shoulder before racing out the door.

The train ride wasn't too long but the street nearing the address was pretty sketchy. Izuku wasn't phased but he still stayed cautious. The building was even more run down than the pictures online had suggested. He didn't mind, however.

Inside the gym was some equipment, nothing too fancy, and a burly older man at a counter. He seemed disinterested but still greeted him upon his entry. "Hello, young man. What can I do for you." His voice was just as deep as his look had suggested.

The mop head kept his new cold disposition. He stood with shoulders back, and a blank face as he approached the counter. He spoke low and his voice sounded much older than he was in the moment. "I'm here for locker number two thirteen."

The man's eyes widened a little before he grabbed an orange key and handed it over. He nodded and thumbed in the direction of the locker rooms. They were empty, and it didn't take long for him to find the locker in question. The only thing inside was a small black phone. A phone? He grabbed it and flipped it in his palm. The screen lit up and showed a text notification. He swiped at it until the screen popped up. There was a phone number along with instructions for him to leave his phone and any belongings in the locker. He obliged and then made the call. As soon as it rang, purple gas swirled in front of him. It slowly formed into a portal which Izuku quickly stepped through.

Once inside, he saw two figures in front of him, only one of which he recognized. The other had scraggly light blue hair and a disembodied hand covering his face.

The tall man in the black mask spoke first.

"Welcome, my child."


Katsuki Bakugou was not a idiot. He knew something wasn't right. Just like, regardless of his lack of communication, his mother knew something was going on with him. Ever since Izuku's accident, he had been more of an emotional disaster than usual. And then the boy went missing from the hospital and he lost his damn mind.

Mitsuki had tried to coax him into talking to someone but with both of their hot headed-ness, that only ended in shouting and a scorched table. She had known he would refuse. He'd never been too keen on emotions other than anger but to be fair, he got that from her. She had half a mind to force him to go, although, she didn't really want to take on that battle yet.

The spiky blonde teen had slightly calmed when news that Izuku had reappeared in the hospital had reached him. He had tried to visit since then but Inko had insisted to his mother that he needed some space. Izuku had always been a people person, so if he needed space, something was extremely wrong.

Bakugou had to talk to that damn nerd. Last time they spoke, he said he no longer wanted to be a hero. While being quirkless was basically a death sentence for someone's dreams of being a hero, knowing Izuku, it was odd for him to give up so easily. He had never given up on his friendship with me, no matter how hard I pushed him away. So why this? Why would he give up on this? Why didn't he give up on me? The thoughts echoed in his mind, torturing him. He thought back to their conversation.

'You're not sorry. You're guilty.'

Maybe he has given up on me.

As they approached the apartment, his stomach turned. What would he even say? He had thought about it, but couldn't come up with anything that felt good enough. When it came to his feelings, Izuku always seemed to be able to draw them out. And he hated it. Who does he think he is, making me feel shit. He had never really been in touch with his feelings -besides anger- so the fact that the nerd could pull on them so easily, as if not even meaning to, was highly irritating. It made him feel weak.

His mother rapping on the door pulled him out of his thoughts. A knot formed in his chest. Some part of him hoped that Izuku answered the door. At least then he would know he was okay. When Inko came into view, the knot dropped to a pit in his stomach. She nodded them both inside.

"I brought cookies, I thought they'd go perfect with tea." Mitsuki smiled at Inko.

"I'll put the tea on." Her soft smile returning her friends.

Bakugou's eyes quickly darted around the room. Izuku was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was in his room?

Mitsuki beat him to the punch. "Where's Izuku?" The words were filled with concern.

Inko had already exited the kitchen, a tray with cups and the tea pot in her hands. He cheeks flushed. What was she embarrassed for?

She spoke as she walked to the table and set the tray down. "He's, uh, not here." Both Bakugous raised an eyebrow as she motioned them to sit. Once seated she continued. "The doctors had recommended he do some exercises to build up his strength, since he doesn't need physical therapy."

"What do you mean he doesn't need physical therapy?" Mitsuki's voice was a bit rough this time causing Inko cheeks to flush even more. She could barely keep eye contact with her friend. "I thought he broke damn near every bone in his body." Katsuki winced. He knew how bad it had been but hearing it. Hearing it was different. Hearing it made the guilt bubble up in his chest. It had been his fault after all. "Inko. What happened."

He stiffened. The blush that was previously splayed across Inko's face was gone, her expression somber. Katsuki hadn't taken into consideration what she might know. Had Izuku told her everything? He was frozen, guilt gnawing at his insides. Tears pricked at his eyes and small explosions threatened to pop at his palms. It took everything he had to keep himself calm, digging his fingernails into his hands.

The Bakugou matriarch was about to retract her statement when Inko spoke. "To be honest, I don't much." An exasperated sigh slipped through her lips. She told them what Izuku had told the police, how he had suddenly disappeared, only to return in near perfect health. How Hisashi, the damn bastard, had finally come home and that Izuku had changed.

The spiky blonde finally spoke, only slightly more relaxed than before. "Changed how?" His voice was a low growl and his mother side eyed him. His face twisted almost resembling disgust. He was confused. He hadn't told the police it was his fault. Why is he still protecting me? The anger mixed with his guilt, and he was sure he would end up losing the contents on his stomach.

She gave him a small smile. "It's small things." She stared into her tea, her voice barely above a whisper. "He hasn't smiled much, and when he does it doesn't seem genuine. His eyes-" her breath shuddered. "They're blank. Void of emotion. He seems distant and cold. The happiest I've seen him in months was when he asked to do his exercises at a gym this morning. How could I say no?" This time a full blown sob echoed in her words. In no time, Mitsuki had wrapped her arms around the small green haired woman.

For Katsuki, the room was spinning. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Air went in and out of his lungs but it's like it wasn't enough. His hands gripped the table tensely, explosions threatening to rip from his hands. He tried to calm his breaths, he didn't want them to worry for him, but he couldn't stop it. He was going to lose control.

His muscles screamed at him as he tore himself from the table. He muttered a barely audible 'excuse me' as he stalked, fists clenched, as quickly as possible to the bathroom. He closed the door and removed his shirt. He sat on the floor and wrapped his hand around his waist, palms pressed firmly in his sides. He let loose. Small explosions popping and burning his skin. It was unpleasant, but it was better than destroying Auntie's house and causing her even more grief. Besides, didn't he kind of deserve it? He could only imagine how much De- Izuku had hurt. This was nothing in comparison. His breathing was ragged as he tried his best to calm down. Tears pricked at his eyes. Damn nerd isn't even here and he still has me wrapped in these FUCKING FEELINGS.

He gripped his sides tighter, the popping finally stopped. It would be much easier and less painful if he could just let out one monstrous blast and maybe scream a bit. He couldn't do that in the house though, or even out in the street. So this was how he handled it. Usually he had great control over his quirk, but when his emotions got the best of him, that control started deteriorating. So he pushed his emotions away, but for some reason, Izuku would always seem to bring them to the surface. Then his control would slip, just like it was now.

Katsuki stood and slipped his shirt back over his head. He splashed water on his face and headed back.

"It's rude to run out in the middle of a conversation like that, brat." Mitsuki had a scowl on her face and an eyebrow raised. "Something bothering you?"

"I'm fine, you old hag. Can't a guy take a piss?" Katsuki's voice was a grumble, hardly filled with any of his usual malice.

"I almost forgot!" Inko's happy voice chimed in. "Katsuki, Izuku did say he left a box on his bed for you before he left this morning."

The teen's heart leapt into his throat. He had left something for him? Maybe he doesn't hate me after all. "Can I-" he choked on his words.

Inko gave him a smile. "Of course!"

Katsuki headed for Izuku's room, vaguely hearing the two mothers discussing their husbands. He paused at the door, hand hovering above the handle. He hadn't been in his room since they were kids, and going in without him there felt like an invasion of his privacy. He knew Inko had said it was alright, but something rooted deep inside him felt uneasy. He sucked in a breath and pushed through the twist in just gut, opening the door.

The room was nothing like he remembered. It added to his uneasiness. Most of the furniture was the same, and it was oddly clean, but it felt so empty. The bed that used to be covered in the reds, blues and yellows of All Might was now draped in a dark, dull green and black. None of the previous posters and pictures hung from the walls. The desk that sat opposite the bed was bare other than the old desktop that sat there. The shelf on the wall had a few books on it, but there was a dark spot where he guessed books had previously sat. The most unsettling thing, other than the fact that the room was empty other than the essentials, was that the room smelled uncharacteristically like a hospital. Odors of antiseptic and bleach overwhelming him.

The large box that sat at the end of the bed did nothing to calm his nerves. It was the only thing that could even remotely be considered clutter in the mostly vacant room. He stalked over to the bed and debated whether or not he should sit. He gave a small awkward chuckle. If his mother saw him being so timid she would wonder what was wrong with him.

Katsuki sat on the very edge of the bed, the movement causing the light perfume of Izuku's laundry soap seeping into his senses. He relaxed slightly at the familiar smell. His hands fumbled opening the box. He could tell by the way it shifted that it was a bit heavy, peering inside once the flaps were out of the way.

It was littered in the All Might paraphernalia that used to adorn the walls. Beside that, a stack of notebooks. Curious, he grabbed the first one and eyed the cover.

'Hero Analysis for the Future No 1'

He was familiar with the green haired boy's notebooks. He flipped it open to one of the first few pages. Izuku's poor handwriting scribbled almost incoherently across the pages. The page he had landed on was a hero costume idea vaguely resembling All Might. Bakugou shook his head with a smile. Classic Deku. He mindlessly flipped through the pages until he stopped at a folded piece of paper wedged in the spine. Eyes wide, he realized the page he had turned to was his own, his name scrawled across the top, and the endearing nickname Izuku had given him right below that. The nickname had been scratched over in pen quite a bit, but he could still read what it said.

He brushed his fingers over the scratched out name and felt the indentions. He skimmed over the words. They talked about his quirk and different ways to apply it, most of which Katsuki already knew and used. Underneath that though caused a shudder to strike through his body.

'Takedown Methods'

Next to it had been a previously written question mark, but there was newer darker writing afterward. Bullet points that struck him like actual bullets. Different quirks that his would be weak against. Ways certain quirks could be used against him. Immobilizing his hands. Cutting his hands off. He felt almost petrified.

Suddenly he had remembered the folded paper in his hand. He set the notebook down and carefully unfolded the paper. He knew it immediately. It was a drawing he had drawn when they were kids, before he had gotten his quirk. It wasn't a very good drawing but it depicted him and Izuku holding hands both dressed in hero costumes they had made up. Above his head were 'No 1 Hero' and above Izuku's was 'No 1 Sidekick'. Overtop the entire drawing in red marker was a large hastily drawn red 'X'.

Tears pricked at his eyes. He wiped them away quickly and stood. He refolded the paper and stuck it in his pocket. The blonde boy stared at the notebook before decidedly rolling it up and stuffing it in his back pocket before closing the box and smoothing out the bedsheets where he previously sat. He wiped his eyes once more before exiting, ready to go home.

I was wrong. He does hate me.